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Need to vent!!

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Ok so I live in a small 2 bed/2 bath apt and for awhile it was just my b/f and I. Well my best friend is going through her devorice and has been seeing this guy who some how ended up living with us. I am a VERY neat person! My friends tease me about being OCD but I like things nice and neat and clean. With are apt being the size it is it really dose not take much for it to look like its a mess. Well this guy that is living with us has been here for 4weeks now? And he used to come vist us alot due to the intire situtation Bre was only able to vist him when he was here. So one would think that a 26 year old man would be able to figure out how to pick up after him self right? WRONG! I spent all morning in the kitchen cleaning and putting away dishes. He wakes up at NOON and goes in the kitchen to make eggs and a bagel. He some how uses 3 plates, a bowl, 2 frying pans, and a cookie sheet. Which are all sitting out on the counter where he left him.... The cabnet door's are left open and food is left out. This happens EVERY TIME he usues the kitchen It is SOO old!! I say something to him EVERY DAY about it, and its not just in the kitchen that this happens! We keep Flower's cat box in the guest bathroom because when it was just Eric and I we never really used that bath room and when he moved in we really don't have a place to put it. Well apperently it's rocket science to not close that door when you'r done in the bathroom. I walk down the hall and have to open it up everytime! Here is the best part! He does not work, he does not pay rent, he does not help us out with money AT ALL! In the 4 weeks he has been here he couldnt have thanked us?? We have a baby on the way I am due Jan 24th and we really need to be saving money! He eats more then Eric and I do in a week. He ate TWO packs of lunch meat one ONE sandwhich...... thats like 3weeks worth of sandwhiches for the boh of us. Who does that?!?! Oh my fave was when he cloged up the bathroom toilet and didnt say anything untill 12am on a sunday night... so I went out and got a plundger and just left it in there for him to do the next morning.... it sat there in the bag for TWO days before Eric finally get fed up and plundged it. On top of all this he compalins to my best friend about how hard things are for him here. !!!!!! What is so hard about his life he sits on his comp 24/7 plaing games, eats free food, and dosent clean up after himself!! CRY MORE! He makes SOO many condenciding comments about how "getto" are apt is and how "getto" we live. News flash! WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!! We do ok we are not rich, but were not poor. Money can get tight, but were young and doing everything we can!! I just don't get it and his comments really hurt my feelings. I just dont know what to do about him any more. Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall!!!! OH! the thing that really just ticks me off is he is mean to my babies!!!! He tells Flower all the time about how bad she is and how she does not beheavie and all he ever says to my pup is NO. AND he blames HIS mess on them!! One night Bre came over and got on to him about his mess and he told her that Comet and Flower came into his room and messed up his stuff...... she laughed so hard my babies don't get into anything and they have NEVER messed up stuff. Unless it is offered to them they really could care less about it!! Sorry this is so long just needed to vent!
post #2 of 23
Well I would pack the freeloaders bags immediately and tell him to get out.
Is he a friend of yours or your boyfriends??
It still doesn't matter he needs to leave right away.
He is using you and should be working.
If he doesn't want to leave call the police to assist.
Then get the locks changed right away so he cannot be back in.
He can freeload on someone else not you esp that you are pregnant-whats going to happen when the baby is born and he is still there.
post #3 of 23
Thread Starter 
Well were moving out of this place ASAP are lease is up Oct 1 and the landlord here has been, well less then helpfull to say the least. I already told Bre he can not come with us when we move. He is my best friends boy friend. I would never call him a friend and Eric can not stand him. He ended up here because I for some reason can't tell people no.
post #4 of 23
Oh my god you need to get that loser the out of there! He's a no good free loader that takes advantage of anyone he can. Trust me, we've all been there, and we've all learned our lesson. Sometimes you just have to buck up and tell the person face to face they can't stay there any longer. Don't give him another chance, just tell him to get out and that he's lucky you're not going to sew him for rent!
post #5 of 23
Well you have to say no. You have more important things to think about -like the baby than him.
If he is your best friend's boyfriend perhaps she can figure out where he should live but it should not be with you.
He needs to get a job and a life that he has to pay for.
In fact he doesn't sound like good boyfriend material as will always have to find someone he can freeload off of.
post #6 of 23
If he's your best friend's bf then he can go live with her. You're not dating him or friends with him, so ditch him.
post #7 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
If he's your best friend's bf then he can go live with her. You're not dating him or friends with him, so ditch him.
I don't think her hubby would like that too much
post #8 of 23
^Tough. He's not your responsibility. Your other option (for the time being) is to tell your best friend that she gets to come over and be his maid, that you're sick of it.
post #9 of 23
Hon, I know it's hard to say no, but he has to go! Now...not when you lease is up because he WILL eat you out of house and home. 2 packs of lunchmeat on one sandwich, and he isn't giving you ANY money for groceries, not to mention rent, water, electric, etc??? That is rediculous.

If you don't actually want to kick him out, explain to your friend that you need somone to support him, because he definitely isn't supporting himself. If this is her boyfriend, it's up to her to do something. This isn't your friend, it's hers. If it ruins your friendship then she isn't a true friend to begin with.

If she doesn't do anything, pack his bags and leave them on the door step...or better yet, take them to your friend's. It's not your responsibility to take care of her boyfriend.

Why anyone would want to get mixed up with someone that spends all day on the computer playing games and doesn't even know how to clean up after himself is beyond me. But, to each their own.

Bottom line, he is not your problem. Your problem is how to kick him out. So, figure out a way to do it and you, you BF and your baby will be much happier.
post #10 of 23
I'm sorry but I just don't feel any sympathy. If someone knows someone is using them, taking advantage of them and costing them mega-dollars the solution is a no-brainer.
post #11 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Bottom line, he is not your problem. Your problem is how to kick him out. So, figure out a way to do it and you, you BF and your baby will be much happier.
Well said! You've got a great excuse! A baby on the way and you don't have the time or energy to pick up after him, or pay for his share of EVERYTHING. That guy is a loser and if your friend wants to date him she should take care of him, not you.
post #12 of 23
Your BF boyfriend is living with you? Why? You rant and rave how terrible it is, but you do nothing about it. That would last maybe a few days with me and then he would have his things on the front porch. Time for him to go. It doesn't matter who is going to be hurt, it's your place. I'm a "nice" person too, and I have learned my lesson about being "nice".
post #13 of 23
Thread Starter 
I just called up Bre and told her how I feel. She begged and pleaded with me not to kick him just yet, but if money is a problem then she will dish up his share of rent and help with the grocery bill. It is not much, but it is a start. Thanks for the extra push I needed to grow a back bone and say something Not perfect, but it is a start at least!
post #14 of 23
He's not your boyfriend, he's not even your friend. The saying goes, "Beggars aren't choosers." If he's so unhappy with his living arrangements, why is he even there? If your friend is so concerned about where he lives, she can pay his share of the rent and clean up after him.

There's a difference between being nice and being a pushover. If your friend becomes angry with you and doesn't want to be your friend, then congratulations to you. Really. Seriously.

You are being beyond nice. Kick out the loser already.
post #15 of 23
Honey,
I wouldn't care if she gives you all the rent, and pays for all your food. Anyone who disrespects my animals is out in a NY minute. Since he's not your or your BF's friend even sooner IMO. Noone would DARE Disrespect my animals in my house, Not even my DH. They all know better! I've kicked one person out for that, and he was DH's friend, I have NO problem doing it to another one.
As far as the pig thing goes, if he can't clean up after himself, then give him paper plates, cups, and plastic silverware to eat off of so he can just toss it when he's done. Or better yet, tell him where the nearest fast food place is. They have no choice but to clean up after pigs like him.
post #16 of 23
evict this ! you're not beholden to your friend to house her current boyfriend!
post #17 of 23
and he is living there why? if he is not being usful then he has got to go.

I have a old friend that broke up with her bf of years, who been living with me a couple of years, She buys her own stuff, pays half the cable and internet bills, and takes care of the cats when i am out of town for work. lol and i never see her accept on weekends lol.
post #18 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugen View Post
Honey,
I wouldn't care if she gives you all the rent, and pays for all your food. Anyone who disrespects my animals is out in a NY minute. Since he's not your or your BF's friend even sooner IMO. Noone would DARE Disrespect my animals in my house, Not even my DH. They all know better! I've kicked one person out for that, and he was DH's friend, I have NO problem doing it to another one.
As far as the pig thing goes, if he can't clean up after himself, then give him paper plates, cups, and plastic silverware to eat off of so he can just toss it when he's done. Or better yet, tell him where the nearest fast food place is. They have no choice but to clean up after pigs like him.
I could not agree more! It's one thing to put up with an idiot that can't take care of himself and eats all your food....he wouldn't last too long at my house. But if he was mean or disrespects my cats, his a$$ and everything he brought to my house would be sitting on the curb in the time I could pack his stuff and call the cops, cause it seems he's imbedded now and that's what it's going to take to get him out. Good luck and GET TOUGH!!!!!
post #19 of 23
yup, gone gone gone, and I wouldn't be very happy with my so called best friend to not only allow this situation to exist, but to beg you to let him stay.

You're being used, by both the guy AND your friend.

Stand up!
post #20 of 23
If I was in your same town I would have no qualms about coming over and packing up his stuff and kicking his sorry loser behind right out on his lazy bum.
Your best friend is not being fair to you at all. More than that you aren't being fair to yourself or your pets. You aren't being fair to your boyfriend. He should not have to live like that.
No one disrespects my home, my child, me or my cats. EVER!
You have got to get a stronger backbone because you will continually be used. Being a good friend and a good person doesn't mean you can't have strong boundaries. This man has zero respect for you, your bf, your home or your cats.

You need your money for your baby. Babies are expensive and I am sure you would rather buy your baby some nice things instead of wasting it on a fully grown walking pig pen.
post #21 of 23
I would show him the door and tell him don't let it hit you on the A*** and the way out..
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by laureen227 View Post
evict this ! you're not beholden to your friend to house her current boyfriend!
You need to get him out of there! Money wouldn't be enough for me! The things he does are rude and disgusting! Tell your friend you can't stand another minute and she needs to move him in with her so she can see what it's like.

Your friend doesn't seem like the brightest crayon in the box either. SHE'S going to pay for that loser to say at your place?!
post #23 of 23
I'd have his stuff in trash bags on the front lawn. He doesn't need to be there anymore! He should be staying with your friend whose going through a divorce - she likes him - let him live with her. No one is mean to my cats or my bird - period.
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