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Almost walked out of work

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Last night. When I got there I was given a verbal warning because my boss had recieved a complaint that a guy friend and I were being too friendly and they were judging this because I am single and they also accused another girl of being too friendly with him. Well for one he is married for another they don't know if I am single or not and I think based upon rumors it is very rude to give me a verbal warning and almost to the point of being discriminatory with me. Informed me that Ron and I could not work together and that we were to turn and go different directions from each other and everything. I honestly thought it was rather childish. But what got me is she even told me if it was too women who were friends they would not have made a complaint. Yes, Ron and I talk but as friends because for one he is a married man but for another because we are coworkers and we work in a nursing home so therefore everyone knows everything you do. and I honestly had to stop myself from going off and walking out the door I am seriously considering looking for another job. I had been anyway because I had looked into a couple of better paying ones but this has almost made my mind up for me.
post #2 of 15
Ok, i'm just looking at this as an outsider?.

When your both talking, how long is it for. What i'm meaning is, are they seeing you chatting for a good length of time?.
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well when we work together yes because we work as a team on night shift and we are the only two on our end so if we have down time we are talking but the only people who see us are the others on thirds but I had not heard any of them make any complaints. We work in a nursing home so we have to talk really but what bothered me the most was she said out of her own mouth that if it was two women who were good friends and talking they would not have said anything but because he is a man they are.
post #4 of 15
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
if it was two women who were good friends and talking they would not have said anything but because he is a man they are.
I can see your point there because i work with a lot of men, and i chat to them but it doesn't mean anythings going on?.

If it was me i would be asking them if there was a problem found with your work, because if the jobs getting done to it's full advantage then that's the main thing, and i would also be asking them how they expect you to work with each other without speaking to each other???.

Do you like him more than a co worker
post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
I think he's a nice man and I will admit he looks nice but he's married and I am involved with someone so no I am not interested in him that way. They assume at work if I am not married I am single well that's not really always the case. and actually alot of the time he and I talk we are talking about his wife or the guy I am talking to or just general stuff he tells me how his kids are doing and such. And he does pick on me but so does the other women at work we all play jokes on one another.
post #6 of 15
So are you saying that your the only one who's had a talk about this?. Has no one spoke to Ron about it either?. If that's the case that's wrong!.
post #7 of 15
I can understand getting a warning for being too chatty at the work place. But, if you are getting in trouble for flirting that’s stupid. What’s it anyone’s business. I think if I got called in for that I would laugh at how ridiculous that was.

Unless you were hiking up your skirt, being aggressively sexually explicit, or making out in the office supply closet no one can really say anything.

I don’t think you can do anything about it. I think its ok to give a warning for being too chatty. But yes, it is stupid if you were given a warning for being flirty. Can they even say that legally? I don’t know...
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well legally noone but the person who does my tax papers is even supposed to know that I am single because it is only supposed to be known to payroll its my private information. And yeah it was made clear it was about being too flirty which I wasn't and I have no idea if they said anything to him or not because I have not even seen him since friday and he walked me outside cause I was off the clock as was he and we had both came in for a potluck actually he stayed over for it but anyway. And it was late at night and since my 15 year old cousin was with me I didn't want to take a chance of walking outside alone with all of the idiots in town. But as I said both of us were off the clock and my 15 year old cousin was with me. And when we are at work we talk about general things during our downtime like his wife or my guy I am talking to or his kids or things of that nature or of old stories relating to the field of work I am in. I tell you I get so sick of working in a small area sometimes. I hate to say it but working with mostly women really bites at times because they will stab you in the back in a heartbeat and not think anything of it. And I know because I have been in nursing for a little over five to seven years. I thought I was past this kind of drama when I graduated high school and I told them that too.
post #9 of 15
Hon, I hate to tell you, but some people, no matter how old they get, will still act that way.....I used to be the "boss" of a handfull of women, from ages 20 to 70.....and I swear that I felt at times that I was running a nursery school....no, kids act better than that! I too thought I left that kind of behaviour behind, but no....they still act like teenagers sometimes!
post #10 of 15
If they are really concerned about some kind of making out going on or a love triangle that could be happening with another woman as well. It sounds like someone may be interested in him even though he is married and that person is jealous.
post #11 of 15
Did you question the complaint? I understand all you have said, but for example, if you were doing this around my paternal grandmother, she would have found it highly inappropriate, and would have complained about the scandal. Given the $$$ that was paying for her care at that point in time, I would wholly expect the people she complained about to be told about it, and asked to not let another of these complaints happen. Im not saying you actually did anything wrong, Im just saying that to an extremely traditional and religious octogenerian, lengthy apparantly flirty conversations between a man and woman are inappropriate in all situations, especially if one of them was wearing a wedding ring....just another perspective.
Now, if your work has spoken to you about it, and not Ron (indeed they should have a staff meeting about policy if it ws a significant complaint) then its clearly a sexual harassment issue that you should for sure follow up. heres hoping things get better. You are strongly needed in the workplace, and should not have to deal with that type of &*&%&.
post #12 of 15
My husband (he was still my boyfriend at the time) and I worked for the same company for ~6 months (he'd been here 5 years, I had started 6 mos earlier). The CFO always had something against him, so when he saw us talking when he was in my area scanning samples back (where I worked was by the return shelves for samples, so it WAS for work), and reported him to his boss (who is now my boss ). His boss came in laughing about it, and said he got a complaint we were "too close and friendly"

It stinks when people make their own assumptions about what is going on.
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well I talked to the other girl the complaint was made about and she said it came from a night we had a potluck. Well I had went in on my night off for this potluck and because Ron works both and seconds we had asked him to stay over. Well because Pam had to sit one on one with a patient I went to sit with her and Ron was already there when I sit down and we were all talking and I asked the other girls to join us but they said no and they decided that since we had all talked we must have something going on. Pam thinks it was the charge nurse but I don't know. But I had made a point of asking everyone to join us because Pam could not leave her spot due to a patient needing extra supervision. And I simply figured if she couldn't come to us we could go to her. Well my 15 year old cousin was with me at the potluck. Well when I came in one of the other workers was outside so I was fine with going in with just us but when I left I asked Ron to walk us out because it was so late and my little cousin was with me. Well afterwards, and I didn't know this, he went back in to speak with pam for a bit more. Well we are all good friends so I didn't think anything of it. Besides he's married. Well they decided we might have something going on. Well at no point and time has anything inappropriate gone on. Well yesterday Ron called in so I didn't get to ask him about it but Pam told me they told her that was why. And they even told me if me and Ron were two women who were friends they would not have even said anything about it.
post #14 of 15
Wow, drama lol.

My old job had that. I was doing work with the Director of Engineering and it was pretty intense. I facing him leaning/sitting on his desk taking notes for about 30min. I didn’t think I was being suggestive.

I got called into the big bosses office after that telling me I was being inappropriate and said I had complaints about me that I was being sexually suggestive at work. I demanded he call in the people who complained and flat out told him that he was being sexually discriminating towards me because I was a female and I’ve seen him do the same thing many times.

He refused to “tell†on whoever told on me and that was the end of that. I left his office… man I hated that place… so much drama.
post #15 of 15
I HATE working in a female dominated office... so catty! One place I swear I felt as though I were back in junior high school...
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