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should i get rid of my cat?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
i've had enough of her very bad behaviour!

she constantly runs away outside hissing at me and my boyfriend when we try to approach her to bring her inside again, it's impossible to try and catch her as she just runs away when you get 1 meter of her.

she also has a habit of as soon as someone rings on the doorbell and i open the door she dashes out very fast and i am unable to catch her.

also when she is in the front room she will hide under the chair for hours and won't come out until we put her on the chair again, she does this with me and when my boyfriend is here.

when she is in the bedroom she scratches my double bed wood even though i have brought her a scratching post, i tell her no but she keeps on doing it, i put apple cider on the side of the bed to stop her from scratching but that doesn't stop her.

when she does come in the house it's impossible to wash her she hisses and screams and claws her paws at me, she brings a huge amount of fleas in the house which bite me and my boyfriend.

everytime my boyfriend comes to my house she constantly screams at both of us, when my boyfriend tries to kiss me she also miaows and screams at both of us, we try to tell her to stop but she completely ignores us and carries on screaming.

i can no longer keep affording buying her cat food anymore i only get about $200 every 2 weeks to feed myself and pay for bills and i think i've struggle for far too long now, my boyfriend thinks this also as he thinks i spend more money feeding the cat that i do on myself.

my cat also keeps constantly screaming at both me and my boyfriend at early hours of the morning, she claws at the door when we shoo her into the next room to get some sleep.

after my cat uses the litter tray she constantly scrapes at it tearing the litter tray bag apart, she doesn't stop until i tell her to stop, i have to put 3 litter bags down when i change her litter tray as if i don't she will just rip it apart.

i've had her since 2004 and it has not been easy from beginning to end, i think right now for me enough is definitely enough.
post #2 of 16
I'm sorry you are having so many problems. For starts (litter pan) I don't use the liners - they are a waste of money and are ripped apart as you have experienced.

Sounds like she may be a feral cat that was not socialized or tame properly when young. That's why its crutical to socialize young kittens and keep them for 10-12 weeks old so they make better pets.

Since you cannot handle her (is she spayed?) and she doesn't seem to want to be around you, it may be best to find a new home. Is there any farms nearby or friends that have a farm you can send her too. Some cats just refuse to be inside cats, but sounds like its more of a personality/socialization problem.

If she is not spayed, at least get her done before you rehome her.
post #3 of 16
It sounds like you have made up your mind, so sending pleasant rehoming vibes for Nightshade Between your sad financial situation and her psychological issues, it will probably be best for you both.....Don't feel bad, either, it isn't that much different than putting a disabled child in a home or getting a divorce- it's traumatic at first, but both parties can be better off and wonder why it wasn't done sooner.
At least you are honest with yourself (and us)...
She certainly is a beauty - I hope that you can find a very loving home for her. And don't let her ongoing issues discourage you - she is reacting to the current situation and may very well react differently elsewhere.
for instance, my cat Cindy hates other cats, EXCEPT for a feral that I managed to tame (now named Scotty). They are a real couple, totally "in simpatico", they just click... And my mom's weiner dog had been a surrender due to behavior issues, that just never appeared, ever, from the moment that we laid eyes on her. Who can know the affairs of the heart, esp. when one party's communication skills consist of meows, purrs & body language only
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
no, unfortunately she is not spayed, i will be sending her to battersea dogs home in london (UK) and i would have thought they would have done the spaying automatically there as default.

at first i have felt really guilty as i have looked after her for so long, i just want to make sure she goes to a good home and someone who can afford the cat food for her and vet bills, on my income i can't provide her with that so it's for the best.
post #5 of 16
If she had been spayed you would not have nearly as many problems with her, hormones can make a cat difficult to live with as a pet.

I do understand how difficult it can be financially though. Which part of London (assuming you're London UK) are you in? I can't guarantee to be able to help, but I can ask around if anyone would be interested in giving her a good home. I worry that she could be in a shelter cage for a while if she has a difficult personality, although spaying may well calm her down considerably. You could also try the cat's protection league and Celia Hammond Animal Trust (if you are in East or South London).
post #6 of 16
i would ring Cats Protection and ask for a neutering voucher, her behavioural problems are likely due to being unneutered and hormonal. At least that way, you know she has been done, and it will be easier and quicker for the rescue to find a home for her. Good luck, but do be aware that it is a very bad time for rescues at the moment - we have been asked to take in 4 cats just today, never mind any other day, one day last week we took in 7 in one day, and the week before we were asked to help with 14 kittens and 10 adults in 2 days. While rehoming is slow, we are all a bit stuck.
post #7 of 16
Let me ask my friend Glyn if he would be interested in her. He was so upset when he lost his girl last Oct. I think he lives one hour from London.
post #8 of 16
If she is unspayed, bringing in fleas and you cannot afford to feed her, then yes, the most kind thing you can do is rehome her. All of the other issues are really not important, if the above cannot be done. Hopefully, the Cats Protection/Epona will be able to help you find her a home where she will be happy.
post #9 of 16
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by mews2much View Post
Let me ask my friend Glyn if he would be interested in her. He was so upset when he lost his girl last Oct. I think he lives one hour from London.
what area does glyn live exactly? i live around the bromley area.
post #10 of 16
Trying to get outside all of the time:
This can improve by spaying her. If she is in heat, her body is telling her to get away and mate. It could be just that she isn't socialized as well. It's probably a good mix of both.

Hiding under the chair:
Sounds like a normal cat.

What type of scratching post do you have? There are different materials and some cats will use some types but not others. There are little plastic covers that you can glue over the claws that are called Soft Paws. Do a google search for them, I'm not sure if they are available in the UK. They are wonderful and come in cute colors.

Doesn't sound socialized or is in heat.

Has she been treated for them?

Probably because she is in heat? Spaying will fix this.

The Boyfriend:
You make it sound like she is reacting to your boyfriend. If she doesn't like him, maybe it's a hint? lol. Cats are quite intuitive.

You can feed a cheap dry kitty food that costs less than $10 a month and then spend $5 on litter. I know things in the UK are expensive but in the US if you don't account for vet bills, cat care isn't too bad.

Litter Tray Liners:
These are useless anyway. They rip and tear no matter how sweet the cat. I don't buy them and you don't need them. Your cat isn't awful because she does the same thing to litter box liners that every other cat does.

Telling her to stop:
She isn't a dog, cats don't know what you are doing or saying. Try blowing air in her face when she is doing something you don't want her to do.

You seemed to have your mind made up before you even posted. She doesn't sound like an awful cat. I don't know about the UK but in the US, shelters are more than filled and cats sometimes only have 1 day to find a home before they are put to sleep.

I can understand the cost issue and giving her up for that reason, but not for any of the other ones. Not being able to afford having her spayed is a reason to give her up because spaying is so so so important and central to being a responsible pet owner (and probably would fix a lot of the behavior you are complaining about). If she truly is a feral cat, I can also understand rehoming her into a better situation for that...but since she's lived with you for so long, I don't know if that sounds necessary.
post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 
well it's too late now, shes going at 2pm today, shes going to a better home where she will have more space and can be looked after better, i've spent £100s of pounds trying to treat the flea problem but they keep coming back, as for telling her no, i make loud noises to to shoo her away but she still continues to rip up my bed.

she has never ever hissed at me before, nor has she ever hide under the chair before.
i simply cannot afford to look after her anymore, i've decided now, she is going to a better home where they will have money to pay for vet bills and food for her, i can't afford it anymore as i don't even work anyway.

she will be missed dearly, but it's for the best as she was causing me and my boyfriend a lot of stress.

if you experienced how bad the screaming is here with me you would go mad too, it's constant screaming, if she hears my voice she screams, even after we give her attention and play with her she screams, and after we fed her she screams, thats all shes does,
post #12 of 16
I'm really pleased to hear that you've found a home for your cat, but please don't get another pet, especially a cat, since you don't seem to understand their care.

Every problem you listed is typical cat behavior, except for those that can be attributed to the fact that you never had her spayed--a disservice to both of you.

Even her desire to "get out" might be less due to her fertility than to the fact that for many cats, rushing the door is a "game." One of my cats got out that way and never went near the door again because she was so traumatized at actually having gotten out. Knowing that can happen, I have always been very, very careful about opening doors to the outside.

Once you understand typical cat behavior, it's often possible to change unwanted behavior by changing OUR behavior.
post #13 of 16
Originally Posted by HUYI View Post
shes going to a better home where she will have more space and can be looked after better
It sounds like you've made the right choice for everyone. That's not easy to do! I'm sorry this bout was such a tricky one for you. If in the future you decide to get another pet you might think about adopting a young adult from a rescue. I suggest this because they'll be able to help place an animal that will fit your lifestyle better than this little kitty. I've often been amazed at the success our local shelter has in such situations.
post #14 of 16
I am glad that you have managed to find a placement for her, and at least she will have a chance of a good home now, and being spayed, which I suspect will help the bulk of her 'problems'.
post #15 of 16
Originally Posted by HUYI View Post

if you experienced how bad the screaming is here with me you would go mad too, it's constant screaming, if she hears my voice she screams, even after we give her attention and play with her she screams, and after we fed her she screams, thats all shes does,
She is probably in heat all the time.
post #16 of 16
I am sad for both you and the cat and I concur that since yuo did not seem to take the time to understand cat behaviour, it might be best to never get another kitty. You rec'd some excellent advice es re the list of cat behavior, all very typical - she may have been lonely and cats are not like us- they are not anthropomorphic beings who scream at us for no known reason. She was most likely in heat, esp unspayed. I urge every cat companion (No one really "owns" a cat ) I do hope she will be unspayed BEFORE she leave your home!!! Even when you think you know someone, it is essential to provide a spayed cat to someone. It is irresponsible to give adopt out (for want of a better expression) an unspayed female. (especially one in heat). There are many orgs that help spay cats for peple in need - I would get out your phonebook and find one and then sell them the cat (Never ever give away a cat either - that sends the message that you think the cat is worthless and invites the wrong kind of interested parties. I hope you know the peple who are taking her!

If one cannot afford a cat, it is best not to adopt one until you can. Cats0- like children- require lots of work AND finds! They need good vet care, lots of love and attention and they must feel they are wanted and cared for. I am a bit astonished by some of your comments and maybe there will be a time when you will understand cats and I would advise you to read about them if you ever feel you want another. You cannot blame the cat for her behavior- she needs to be spayed asap - she was in heat and that is not fun for any cat - and neither is it healthy. 9There is an increase in cancer and pyometra, amg other diseases amg unspayed cats).

I am sorry your experience was not a good one but maybe at least now you know you are not someone who is a good cat mommy. Perhaps when you are more financially able, you can look at other pets though all pets require love and care!! You might consider helping at at a shelter to get to know more about cats if you truly are interested in felines but please, please do this before adopting another one!
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