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Dating and Cat Allergies

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Hi guys, just wondering here have any of you had to deal with a date who is severely allergic to your cats? I'm 98% at the stage of ending it with my present GF not because she is a horrible person etc etc, we don't seem to have much in common but anyway that's another story.

She has been to my place a couple of times and she has broken out really bad despite having medication. After what I have gone through with Snoopy and Oreo there is no way on earth I am parting with my cats just so I can have a girlfriend.

I was asked this a couple of months ago and don't take this the wrong way but I said at the time I wasn't sure what I would do if she asked to me to get rid of my cats.

Any thoughts??
post #2 of 17
Hmmmm . . . that really depends on how serious you and she are.

My dad developed an allergy to our cats when I was about 9 years old. He got so bad the doctor told him he had to get allergy shots, get rid of the cats, or risk possibly suffocating. My mom and I told him no offense but he was getting allergy shots, cuz we weren't getting rid of the cats. That solved the problem for us.

Does she get shots? Or is it a pill that she takes when she's around cats? Because, if it's serious between the two of you, she could getting shots instead of having you get rid of your cats. Just a thought.

Good luck, though, no matter what you decide!!!
post #3 of 17
Cabbie, if it ever came down to my cats or a boyfriend, the cats win every time.

Fortunately, I have a BF who is at cat-crazy as I am, and comes from a cat-loving family. My advice would be never date anyone who would have the audacity to ask you to get rid of your pets. Love doesn't ask you to make decisions like that. Also, just as important, never date someone who your cats don't like! I've found them to be excellent judges of human character!
post #4 of 17
I do know there are allergy meds you can take and still be allergic to pet dander and still be around them....I think it is something like Zyrtec(sp?) see if she could check into something like that..I wouldn't get rid of my kitties either if I were you so I know what you mean....
post #5 of 17
Oh boy! It must be tough!

If your gf knew how much you do care about cats very much. Your gf would have to find a way to get cures such as getting shots or medcines etc.. if she does not do anything with it and never discuss with you about cats etc.. Does she really care about you? But it's your guts that tell you what to do with your heart. Good Luck,..

I am really allergic with dogs. I am lucky that my dh is a cat lover. But one day, he wants a dog. I am willing to give it a try but i will ask him to wait till i take medicines first and test it with my in laws's dogs to see if it s working then i can let my dh to have dogs.. That's what I am trying to find a way to make my dh so happy. But right now, we are not in a condition to take care of dogs because we have kid and will have another kid on the way in July.. We prefer to wait. I do like dogs very much.. I prefer medium dogs will do that.. Also, we have two cats. I dont think our cats want dogs in the house since they are the bosses. ha
post #6 of 17
I made it a rule "love me, love my cat" whenever I went out with anyone. I did go out with someone who was allergic to Ashley, but I ended up ditching him. If this is the case, I really try not to get too close to these people emotionally because I just couldn't part with my cat. But, I also looked at it this way: God sent Ashley to me and I love her to death. He wouldn't make me choose like that so I was pretty confident that the person that was "FOR ME" wouldn't be allergic to her. And VOILA! Roger isn't allergic and I think Ashley loves him more than she loves me!
post #7 of 17
I agree with the others, to try other medicine if you two are cerious. But...I sence from your post, that this relationship isn´t sure to have any future, so that would be a great excuse to end it, that you don´t want her to feel ill when she is around your cats...
post #8 of 17
I have to agree with the others here. Love me, love my cats. Someone who loves you isn't going to ask you to get rid of them. Everyone comes with certain things that they aren't going to change, that they shouldn't be expected to change. If the situation were reversed, if you asked her to get rid of something that precious to her, you would be a cold-hearted snake who didn't understand her. Why is it any better when a woman asks for something? Some women just don't feel complete until they get you to sacrifice for them, and that's just not right.
post #9 of 17
Hmm, my fiance is allergic to cats, but over the years he has built up a bit of a tolerance to them from being around them so much.
He knew that I would never give up my cats so he could be with me when we first met, so he just had to deal.
But he's not one of those types that is gonna die if a cat touches you and you need to be sent to the ER, lol
His sister is however, but I manage to keep this place clean enough while she visits that it does not bother her.

Clean clean clean! Keep your clothes clean, even if your leaving the house to meet her, put something new and cat fur free on, clean your house clean your cats! There are anti allergin sprays for your house, and to put on your cats themselves.

If the medicain isn't working, then OBVIOUSLY she should be on another one, lol. I don't know if you have been so kind to point that out to her yet.
I think it's rude and innapropriate for someone to make you choose between your animal and them. My fiance never bothered to ask me, because he already knew what I would say to him, haha.
post #10 of 17
I can some what relate to your story. My current boyfriend is not a cat person and will make comments like "You know that the cats will have to go when we move in together"...and I just tell him "Well Honey...that just too damn bad cuz the cats are coming with me regardless. It's either me & the cats, or nothing". He usually shuts up in a quick hurry. Another good one he's said is "If we ever decide to have kids, that cats are gone" and my comment to him is "Really? Do you think I would ask you to get "rid" of your DAUGHTER once we have kids? No..I wouldn't so you shouldn't ask me to get "rid" of my children!".

Maybe I'm just blunt and to the point with him, but that's how its gonna be with me and he needs to realize that before it goes any further in the relationship.
Just my 2 cents of rambling....
post #11 of 17
Not really on the subject anymore...sorry..
I have people asking me all the time if I STILL have the cats? I hate when people ask that! And when I was pregnant, people asked me if I wasn´t surely getting rid of the cats when the baby would come!!! I started to give the answer that I knew no examples that people got rid of older children when they had more babies! I could just hear them thinking "OMG, she IS crazy!

And about boyfriends, It´s either me & cats or not me! You can´t just choose to take only a part of me, then rather skip taking my ears along!!! I was wery hard on this dicission espcially after I had the boyfriend that wouldn´t even let me LOOK at a cat on the street!
Luckily, when my s/o first came to my flat, Pollyanna came straight over and sat on him! So I knew he was the one. And Feykirofa is such a "daddy´s girl.
post #12 of 17
Angel is right. You build up a tolerance to your own animals. I am allergic to cats, but not my own or my good friends'. Have you thought about trying that Febreze Allergen? I am planning to try it.
post #13 of 17
My boyfriend is allergic to cats, and when he's in visiting (it's a long-distance thing for now), he just makes sure he's been on his Zyrtec for a couple weeks to get it into his system. I know his mom has a cat, but he visits her often, and he doesn't have much of a reaction to her. His father's cat is different though, and he can't stay for long before his chest gets tight, and he can't breathe well. Luckily for us, the Zyrtec works for him with Spike. My aunt on the other hand does not take any allergy medicine - she has no cats, doesn't allow them in her house, doesn't visit people with cats for the most part, etc. She is severely allergic to my cat and has the same problem as my boyfriend... hense, she visits very rarely, and for very short periods of time - 5 minutes or so. And as clean as I keep my place (I don't think I'm a huge slob or anything), it still affects her badly.

Now, with the situation about getting rid of the cat because of the allergy... I'm one of those "love me, love my cat" kind of people... I won't be giving up my cat, for any reason. Luckily for me, although allergic, my boyfriend loves cats, including mine... at least that's what he says. (Sometimes men CAN be smart. )
post #14 of 17
A friend of mine is very allegic to cats. When I know she's coming I of course will take a sticky roller to all the furniture, she takes her medicine and we have a good visit. Her meds seem to do the trick.
post #15 of 17
I Agree with every one - my Loki is my baby and I would never date nevertheless commit myself to any one who would not be able to care for him as much as I do.

My last "first" date with let's call him Joe lasted exatly 3 hrs since during our conversation he happened to mention that he thinks cats were a waste of a life form and that he hated them. He did not know about my Loki since we met at the restaurant. Bingo, to the curb he went.

My theory is very simple - Loki was here before you and will be there after you.
post #16 of 17
I hope that this guy won't mistreat your babies when he moves into your home. He must have some very good qualities for you to be with him. He will have to not only get along with the cats, but they must also like him!
Good luck to you! I say me and my cats or hit the road!
post #17 of 17
My rule was always "The kids, the cats and me - its a package deal." The kids are grown up but I'll always have cats. Bill and I adopted Opie and rowdy together. I got Buddy, on my own but Bill doesn't seem to mind - Buddy snuggles on HIS side of the bed, every night!
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