Oh thank god there gone

algebrapro18

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My parents just left and I couldn't be happier. I love them to death but having them here drives me up the wall. My mom has been here since Saturday helping me get everything cleaned up and organized. I had let my house cleaning go non-existent for about...well lets say its been months so this place REALLY needed a good clean. Everything is done now and I hardly recognize the place. My dad came up today to help me fix stuff around the house. It was nice having him around after 2 days of being cooped up here with my mom cleaning everything. My entire back is throbbing from the cleaning and lifting and halling of stuff but this place looks amazing. Now I just have to keep it that way.

We got a new couch, a new lamp, a new vacuume, a new desk,and 2 new book shelves for about 200 bucks from shopping around. The couch I got was 30 bucks at good will and I was shocked at what great condition it was in. Tom gave it his seal of approval as well and I find him napping on it every once in a while. He also hid under it for a while and that was rather cute. I would post pictures but my camera got stolen when I was in canada and I have no money to replace it.
 

starryeyedtiger

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Judging based on your previous threads - your parents seem to really do a lot for you and also give you a lot. If anything- you should be greatful for all of their kindness and help rather than rejoicing in them being gone. That is really a bad attitude to have towards the people who seem to love and care for you the most.Not everyone has parents that would do things like that for them.

You're lucky to have parents that care enough about you to take time out of their busy schedule to help you clean and have a tidy place to live. Be greatful for them.
 

carolpetunia

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I agree. I'm sure your mom's back is sore from all that work, too, and it's not even her place to be doing it. After all the things you've told us about your folks... I wish you would try to see things from their point of view.

Please don't be offended by this -- you're certainly not the only young person in the world who lacks insight in this area.
 

butzie

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I agree. Your parents have done so much to help you. We know that you are young and that is one of the reasons that they help you but they also help because they love you.

My father got cancer of the larynx when I was 11 and died when I was 14. You should be thankful that you still have both parents.
 

calico2222

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I agree that in some of your posts you come across as not appreciating all the sacrifices your parents have made for you, but I also think a lot of that is because of your age and recently being on your own. (I'm not saying you DON'T appreciate or love them, I'm just saying that is how it comes across sometimes)

On the other hand, I also completely understand the relief of having guests go home! We just had a friend from out of town spend 4 days with us, and I love him to death! He is one of my best friends and he's DH's best friend from childhood. We love it when he comes to visit, but when he (or anyone) leaves it is so nice to have our house back.

I hope your mom gave you some good pointers on keeping your house clean. It's a never ending job and if you aren't used to doing it the mess can get out of hand VERY quickly. After a while, you just don't know where to start...so you just don't. (Am I speaking from experience??? Of course not!
)
 

dixie_darlin

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Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

Judging based on your previous threads - your parents seem to really do a lot for you and also give you a lot. If anything- you should be greatful for all of their kindness and help rather than rejoicing in them being gone. That is really a bad attitude to have towards the people who seem to love and care for you the most.Not everyone has parents that would do things like that for them.

You're lucky to have parents that care enough about you to take time out of their busy schedule to help you clean and have a tidy place to live. Be greatful for them.
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by calico2222

I hope your mom gave you some good pointers on keeping your house clean. It's a never ending job and if you aren't used to doing it the mess can get out of hand VERY quickly. After a while, you just don't know where to start...so you just don't. (Am I speaking from experience??? Of course not!
)
i resemble that remark, as well!
my sister came up here for couple of days [& my mom came for one] to help me clean my house... i really don't seem to 'see' dirt until it just gets so awful that it's out of hand! anyway, we tossed some old furniture, & i got new stuff at IKEA...

my sister watches that "clean house" show where they clean up the messy people's houses. on one show, the host called the people 'surface abusers' because every flat surface in their house had piles of stuff on it. she turned to her husband & said "that's what my sister is!"


to treat my problem, i got rid of a dresser & got a wardrobe from IKEA to store that stuff in - the top is too tall for me to put stuff on!

i'm also going to be hiring a housekeeping service to keep the rest under control.
 

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Originally Posted by algebrapro18

I had let my house cleaning go non-existent for about...well lets say its been months so this place REALLY needed a good clean.
I remember seeing the pictures you posted of the inside of your home a while back, and to be honest i would have left it the way it was because your old enough to clean your own mess up, infact you should be ashamed that you let it get that way not to mention have your parents clean up after you.

After what they've done i don't know how you have the audasity to say "Thank God their gone!".
 

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I'm sorry, but someone has to say it, so I will.

I agree with everyone above who said that you appear to be very ungrateful about all that your parents have done for you over your life.

You are what? 22 years old? It's time to stand up and start learning to support yourself and your bad habits, which includes spending money on gifts and trips to see a 30 year old woman who by the sounds of things is so mentally disturbed that she should be committed to a psychiatric ward.

You're lucky you have parents to help you out. In fact you are lucky to have parents period!

To put life in perspective for you because you seem absolutely oblivious to everything except for what you want or need in life.

My Mom and Dad separated when I was 9 years old. My Mom was never really healthy, but her health declined badly when I was about 12, and finally from the time I was 13 until the day she died, she spent a good 75% of her life in the hospital in the intensive care unit, which meant that I lived alone when I was 13 years old!! During those times, here is how my life went:

- wake up to a phone call from my Dad so I could go to school.

- go to school

- When I didn't have to work or babysit to bring in money to help support her and I, I would go see my Mom in the hospital. I spent so much time there that the nurses set up a study area by my Mom's bed for me, and even ordered meal trays. At 11:30pm when the evening shift ended, one of the nurses would drive me home.

- Rinse and repeat the next day and every other day that she was in the hospital.

I've had a social insurance number from the time I was 13 years old because I've had to work to bring in money to help support the 2 of us because we were on welfare because my Mom was unable to work. When she was in the hospital, welfare cut off her portion of the money, which meant that I had to work in order to make up the short fall to pay the rent, utilities, food, clothing, my school supplies etc. I walked everywhere even in the middle of winter during 40 below weather because there was no money for bus fare.

When she was home, her emphysema made it impossible for her to do anything. So the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, her bathing, grocery shopping and everything else associated with keeping a house fell onto my shoulders. Plus I still had to find ways to bring in money to help support us because she needed medications that the government wouldn't pay for.

In addition to that she needed medical supplies which I had to order and keep in stock, and also medical treatments which I had to do for her because there was no such thing as home care where a nurse comes out to do that stuff for the person. I had to stick a tube down my mother's throat into her lungs and suction out guck so she wouldn't suffocate. I had to stand there for an hour 2 or 3 times per day with her lying in various positions while I pounded on her back and sides to help move the guck around in her lungs so she didn't develop pneumonia. And when things got bad, I had to call an ambulance

My Mother died on Valentines Day in 1978, 2 weeks before I turned 16 years old. My Dad died the same year on November 4th. I was an orphan at 16 years old. After that lived with my brother who is a mere 5 1/2 years older than me.

My situation didn't change once I moved in with my brother. In fact it got worse! I had to pay for my own eye glasses, dental, prescriptions, school supplies, toiletries, clothing, bus fare, hair cuts etc, plus I had to pay my brother and his wife $150.00 per month room and board. I was only in grade 9!

I was working full time at a job that paid me $1.85 per hour, while I was going to school full time. My grades sucked! Do you know how many hours you have to work at $1.85 per hour to make $150.00? A lot! And I had to make more because that $150.00 went to putting a roof over my head and food in my mouth, even though I ate at one of the restaurants I worked at most of the time.

I didn't even have my own room. Initially I shared a room and a bed with my niece who had a bed wetting problem. It's not very fun waking up every single night in a puddle of urine and having to change the bed. Eventually I was moved to the basement, an unfinished one, where a portion of the basement was literally curtained off with just enough space for a single bed and a small 3 drawer dresser. On the other side of the curtain was the TV area which was always in use. My clothes were hung on a strung up clothes line in the laundry room which was nothing more than a washer and dryer in a completely unfinished, cobweb filled part of the basement.

When I lived there I was "built in babysitter" for their 2 children (hers from a previous marriage). Meaning that if I happened to have plans to go out with friends, I had to cancel so that my brother and his wife could go out. I also started dinner each night, had to vacuum every week, clean 2 bathrooms, and do the dishes every day. Oh and did I mention laundry? Yes, that was my job right down to washing poopie diapers when their youngest came along.

Eventually they had a baby together. He was unplanned at the time. They had been trying for more than a year to get pregnant, but were unsuccessful, so my brother changed his work hours so that she could return to school full time and they decided to put off having a baby until she graduated from nursing school.

He worked nights, she went to school during the day and worked part time in the evening and when she wasn't working she was studying. Unfortunately at the onset of all that she found out that she was pregnant after all. So the responsibility fell on me to raise my youngest nephew for the first few years of his life. I had to lug 3 kids to the sitter, in the morning, pick them up from either school or the babysitters after I finished school. And somehow I managed in between all of that to work four part time jobs (1. telephone soliciting; 2. taking inventory; 3. restaurant; 4. freelance typing. I even tried selling jewellery through in home parties for a while)

I've been supporting myself since I was 13 years old! And living on my own for a good portion of that time too. I moved out of my brother's house a few months after I turned 19 because they wanted to double my room and board to $300.00 per month because I had graduated high school.

I've been on my own and supporting myself since then. There have been many lean years and days where I didn't have anything to eat because of a shortage of money. But I've always managed to find some honest and legal way to support myself to get by, be it cleaning people's homes or even babysitting.

When I went back to school in 1994, I had been out of high school for 14 years. No one helped me while I was in school. I had to depend on student loans and working to get myself through school and continue to be able to pay my bills.

I knew what I had to do to be able to get through school and I knew how limited my time was going to be in second year. Before each lab we had to have an assignment done. They could be time consuming. At the onset of the course we were given a syllabus that outlined what we were going to be doing for each lab over the 2 year period. Between the course load and working I found it tight to get my lab assignments done in year one, but I managed. However, I made things easier for myself for year two by working ahead on year two stuff during my winter, spring and summer breaks in year one, I worked ahead through stuff that I would need to have done in year one. By the time I got into second year I had all of my second year labs done and all I had to do was pull them out, read them and hand them in on lab day.

Could I have travelled and spent time goofing off with my friends during my school breaks? Sure I could have. But I didn't. I made a conscious choice to improve my situation in second year, and I picked up more hours working too.

There is no reason on this God's green earth for you to be the way that you are right now in life other than shear laziness and the fact that your parents are enabling you and your bad behaviour. All they've done is manage to help you become a selfish, self-centred, free loader.

You are 22 years old. You should be out working on your school breaks and earning money towards your school and all of your supplies instead of depending on your parents to pay for it all, and they shouldn't be feeding into your habits of travelling when you should be working.

You should be ashamed of yourself for the way you treat and talk about your parents. That chick in Canada is totally using you, and you in turn are totally using, and abusing your parents.

It's time to grow up!

Your parents will die one day and then what? Whose going to support you then? That chick in Canada?
Not likely. She can't even support herself either financially or mentally.

You seem to have it in your head that you have such a hard life. Well guess what? Your life if a cake walk compared to what I've lived through.

Open your eyes and see how good you have it in life! Take responsibility for your own self! Stop freeloading off of your parents!

You're lucky you aren't my kid! I'd have cut you off financially long ago even if that meant you had to quit school and get a job in order to learn some of life's hard knocks about what it takes to be an adult and take care of yourself. That's what your parents seriously need to do to you for your own good.
 

denice

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Neither my mother or my mother-in-law would have cleaned my house for me except under extenuating circumstances like a serious illness or injury in my immediate family. Now that my kids are grown and on their own I feel the same way about their homes. I would do whatever I could to help in a crisis type situation but I wouldn't clean for them otherwise.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by Denice

Neither my mother or my mother-in-law would have cleaned my house for me except under extenuating circumstances like a serious illness or injury in my immediate family. Now that my kids are grown and on their own I feel the same way about their homes. I would do whatever I could to help in a crisis type situation but I wouldn't clean for them otherwise.
Good for you!


I remember back in the 1980's I was dating a guy with a serious case of "Peter Pan Syndrome", here are some links talking about it.

http://www.medterms.com/script/main/...rticlekey=8534

http://www.evanbailyn.com/index.php/..._pan_syndrome/

http://emotional-verbal-abuse.suite1..._socialization

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0501112023.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Pan_syndrome

Stephan was a classic case. He couldn't keep a job. His Mom and Dad bought him a car. They bought him a house 3 blocks from theirs and they paid to finish the basement. His Mom had a key to the house and freely used it. She was barging in at all hours of the day and night.

At one point he was selling his car for whatever reason. His parents bought it and let him keep it
Basically they just gave him money!


His Mom would go and shop and fill his cupboards and fridge. She would cook and can and bring over stuff. She also did his laundry. Not just the dirty stuff, but if she saw that he still had shirts and stuff hanging in his closet from the previous laundry day, she took those too and rewashed, starched and ironed them and returned them again. And she came over every week to clean his house from top to bottom including making sure his fridge was clean and his cupboards nice and tidy. And if he didn't get around to cutting his lawn, his Dad came over to do it.

Did I mention he was 33 years old?


He had been married, and when we were dating he had been separated for 3 years. His "ex" was living in another province with a guy. Neither of them would spend the money to initiate a divorce because they didn't want to pick up the court costs of the other.

He had a sense of entitlement!

He had a court fine for something, can't recall what, and he was embarrassed to go to his parents for the money so he asked me for it. It was $600.00. I didn't have that kind of money to give him so he could pay a fine. Actually I think that's why he was trying to sell his car later on. And even if I did have that kind of money, I saw how he used his parents and how they were utterly and completely supporting him and his habits, and I refused to become his "sugar momma".

His immaturity and the fact that he was still attached to his Mother's umbilical cord, is what lead to my breaking up with him. He wasn't looking for a girl friend, he was looking for a replacement mother.

I ran into him about 6 months after we broke up and found out that his parents were paying for his divorce!


Stephan needed a good swift kick in the hiney, but his parents never gave it to him, at least not back then. And I have no doubt that he's the very same way today.
 

kittkatt

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I also agree with what everyone else has said.
There's no excuse for a "man" who is 22 years of age to speak of his parents in such a way - especially parents who have done as much as they have. You're unappreciative, selfish, and lacking in maturity. If my son talked about me in such a way, I would seriously think of "disowning" him. But he was raised to respect others, and would never speak of others in the way in which you've done - especially of his parents. I would be ashamed to even call him my son, if he was anything like that...

I can't believe that YOU can complain about YOUR back, when your parents are much older, and are probably hurting a whole heck of a lot more than YOU are!
And then you have the audacity to be "grateful" that they are gone - after cleaning up YOUR mess!
Do you think that they're on some message board, complaining about YOU??

I tried to refrain myself from even responding to your thread, b/c I've seen how you disrespect your parents in other threads. But this is just too much. You disrespect them, and then go on & on about how you want to waste your time and your parents money on some mentally ill con-artist who is 30-some years old and who doesn't work: but you seem to think that she's just the cat's meow, while she does nothing for you - but your parents do everything. There is something seriously wrong with THAT picture! I'm beginning to think that you belong together..


There are so many people in the world who have plenty of reasons to be "complaining" b/c they have gone through hell & back, and who need a sympathetic ear to listen to them. You're not one of them...

I don't even know why any of us respond to you, b/c you obviously aren't listening to a word we say - in any of your threads. It's just a waste of time, and is falling on deaf ears. You only "listen" to what you want to hear.

Linda, I'm so sorry to hear of such a horrid childhood.
You are an inspiration to us all, and I admire your courage & fortitude. Kudos to YOU!!
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by KittKatt

I don't even know why any of us respond to you, b/c you obviously aren't listening to a word we say - in any of your threads. It's just a waste of time, and is falling on deaf ears. You only "listen" to what you want to hear.
You've got that right. I doubt he's even reading this thread anymore.

Actually, I can't help but think that none of what this poster posts is true, or it is greatly embellished. Maybe I'm just too cynical, but I've encountered more than my share of "fakes" who post off the wall things and create entire different lives for themselves in either an attempt to gain sympathy or to troll and press people's buttons and get them riled up. I can't help but think that this is one of those situations. I could be wrong, but my gut says otherwise.

Linda, I'm so sorry to hear of such a horrid childhood.
You are an inspiration to us all, and I admire your courage & fortitude. Kudos to YOU!!
I wasn't dealt such great cards in life and I had to do what I could with the hand that I was dealt. Ironically enough I wouldn't change a single thing in my life, no matter how bad it was at times. The reason being is because my experiences have made me the person that I am today and I think I turned out pretty well. I know I have a strong character and can pick myself up when things get rough. And I think that's a good thing.

One day I'll write a biography of my life. There is so much more to tell, and I'd like to think that my life experiences and the things I've learned along the way may be an inspiration to others who may have gone through or are going through similar situations in life.
 
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algebrapro18

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Let me start off by saying that some of what was said is true. I could have presented this in a lot more apreciative manor. I do appreciate what my parents do for me more than anyone here will ever know. I am alive today because my dad invested in me enough to keep me alive. Not a day goes by when I don't lay awake in bed and wish I were 1/1000 of the man he was. And not a day goes by lately where I don't call him and tell him how much me means to me.

I also appreciate my mom. She came up here with her bad legs and helped me turn this place around. Not only that but she risked everything she has been rehabbing for to help me get my new couch into the apartment. But most of all the is the ear that I need when I need to talk. No matter what I need to say she is there to listen. That means the world to me and every time I call her the call ends with "Thanks for listening and I love you."

You know its funny. You all think your so mature but yet you spend what little free time you have a way from your families and jobs on here coming up with ways to attack someone who has never said or done anything to you and who has never done anything about it. I've sat back and let you guys say what ever you wanted against me and the woman who, despite what many of you think, I love. Well these last two posts have pushed me over the edge. Check your inbox ladies you both have PM's from me. What I have to say shouldn't be said here.
 

roxsam

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Originally Posted by algebrapro18

You know its funny. You all think your so mature but yet you spend what little free time you have a way from your families and jobs on here coming up with ways to attack someone who has never said or done anything to you and who has never done anything about it. I've sat back and let you guys say what ever you wanted against me and the woman who, despite what many of you think, I love. Well these last two posts have pushed me over the edge. Check your inboxes ladies you both have PM's from me. What I have to say shouldn't be said here.
Nobody has ever been trying to attack you, just pointing out things that we see about you from your posts that we feel will greatly help you out. In most posts you ask for the advice! We have not claimed to perfect, or even mature, but we all seem to have a lot more maturity, experience and sense than you and, again, just want to help you out! I, for one, am only 2 years older than you...and based on our maturity levels that I have seen on here you would think I am 20 years older.

This is my first post on this thread, but I am sorry that you have taken all the other posts as you did. Please know our goal is not to knock you down but to help you become an all-around better person, unfortunately sometimes that takes being knocked down, especially with a stubborn person. Please just open your eyes and accept the advice everyone has given you from their experience and use it for your own good. You have the power to turn anything that seems 'bad' into something good.
 

rosiemac

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Originally Posted by roxsam

In most posts you ask for the advice! .
And sometimes truth hurts as they say, so if you don't want to hear what others have to say in the way of advice, then maybe you shouldn't post personal information like you do about yourself?.

Although pm's are private, i would like to think they weren't as nasty as what i'm thinking judging by your last statement?
 
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algebrapro18

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They were not nasty, they were however private. I had a problem with two of the posters here, and instead of bringing the entire site into it I felt it was better that it be handled privately between me and the people I had problems with.
 

mer636

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ok so to sum up what everyone was saying in my opinion they are just worried that you arn't appreciating everything your parents do for you since the words you post tend to get a bit misconstrued since it seems they have a tone of "god my parents are soooo annoying and don't really do anything for me" or thats what they kinda threw at me but then I could be wrong

We all know how much you must love your parents and ofcourse how much they love you and the only advice I could possibly give you would be to try to change your wording in your posts because the only part of the story all of us can get is what you paint with your words in your post and like I said to me it sounded like you were glad they were gone so you wouldn't have to put up with them anymore
 

EnzoLeya

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Congrats on the clean house! My mom came and helped me not too long ago. I had the same problem! Once it's clean once, it's MUCH easier to keep it that way. Now you'll only have to spend an hour to get it back to what it was, instead of an entire day or two!

I know how you feel, only it's the inlaws
We live in the same town, so you could imagine how often we get to see eachother
 
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