- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #21
Thank you to everyone who has responded to my post.
I really do value everyone's opinion, regardless of it being hard to hear or not. I've had pets my whole life... dogs, chinchillas, rabbits and my cats. I'm also a pretty quiet mellow person (unless provoked) so I guess in the case of my boyfriend, all I can really say is... opposties attract.
So here's an update. My boyfriend and I disucssed this issue to death. When faced with the reality of losing me, he agreed to modify his behavior to see if it makes a difference, which he should have done int he first place. I really do understand his frustration, but still he needs to chill. I did take her to the vet right away to have her checked out, full work up, shots, blood work, etc. and she turned out perfectly healthy... as expected. She's 9.5 pounds, I thought that was kinda cute... but anyhow, she was suprisingly awesome in the office, I was preparing myself for a stressful day. She seemed to love the vet so much. The place I took her is strictly a cat hospital, so they only treat cats and the staff was awesome with her.
The vet said to see how she does with him modifying his behavior for a few months consistently, if she didnt get better there were options for medicition. Which I ovbiously wanted to avoid. He think the aggressive behavior towards him may have to do with her being territorial and since she is a generally shy cat, her hissing from under the bed and in the closet is her way of showing him "who's boss." Also, the change in her seemed to start when he officially moved in. That was the same time, I stopped letting them sleep in the bedroom with us. Mostly because his 2 yr old stays here and I know my male cat would end up sleeping on her face, couldnt have that. So I guess he was leaning more towards her being like this because she may feel he came in and took her place and of course him being just a loud kinda guy, doesnt help. Really it could be anything I suppose.
The first month, nothing changed... which I had expected. The funny thing is, I noticed the hissing more when he came home from work... so I thought of the possibility of a smell from his job bothering her. In any case, he really did make a drastic change. He has been watching football at my brothers so that he wasnt here in the room when the Giants scored (thats when he seems to yell and jump around the most) The hissing subsided just a little, but she was still running from him and wouldnt really be in the same room. Mostly avoiding him, but still hissing from time to time.
So the next few months, same thing... but I will say, she doesnt hiss as much and he has really clamed down and makes attempts to speaking softly and nice to her. I let him feed her and give her treats, still she avoids him. She is however staying in the same room as him. If i'm on the couch and he's at the computer, she'll come and sit on the couch with me, lay down and fall asleep. She watches him from the corner of her eye and runs if he gets too close. She'll eat her dry food in the same room, but again, if he moves towards her, or gets too close, she bolts. She didnt seem nervous or anxious either, just kinda normal. I thought things were progressing, when just a few weeks ago, one night, he leaned over the foot board of the bed to kiss his daughter good night and out of no where she lunged up, hissing and swating. Scared the life out of his daugther and i'm sure really startled him.
Where I am now: I took her back to the vet 2 weeks ago. Explained the situation, the boyfriend came too. The vet suggested trying her on cat prozac, just for a while to see if the hissing stops and she becomes more open to accepting him. He said again, she is a very healthy cat and doesnt seem to have any physical illnesses. I wasnt very happy to make that choice, but i'll try anything to make the situation better. I am planning on just doing this for a few months then weaning her off. The vet said lets just see how things go... and told me lets try to fix this one step at a time. Oh also, the feline-away plug in, I tried it before and didnt notice a change, but i'll try it again.
So I get the medicine in the mail tonight, I ordered fish flavor, thinking... "cats like fish, this should work perfectly!." Of course, because this is the story of my life, she didnt take it very well. Wouldnt take it in any of the wet food I tried, I tried kinda holding her and tilting her head back, hoping her mouth would drop to ease the liquid in her mouth and that she HATED! I didnt even get 1/2 of it in and now she's glaring at me from across the room. I tried tuna too thinking I was a genius and still nothing. I think between the little bits she got from food and the little I got in her mouth, she's had enough for one day and i'll try again tomorrow.
I am still frustrated, now about getting her to take the meds mostly, but i'm also equally relieved that the BF is easing up and sees how much its been hurting me to stress over this. I'm sure its going to take longer then 4 months for her to warm up to him. And who knows if the cat prozac will even make a difference. Although I did hear alot of good things about it from people who give it to thier cat.
In any case, I just wanted to write a follow-up, so that everyone doesnt think I'm this terrible girl who lets this eveil, abusive man run around the house yelling at her cats. I promise you I would never dream of being with anyone who didnt respect what I love the most in this world.
If anyone has any recommendations for getting a picky cat to take the liquid meds, I'd be so grateful! Otherwise, will update you soon on the progress.
Thanks for listenin to me ramble
I really do value everyone's opinion, regardless of it being hard to hear or not. I've had pets my whole life... dogs, chinchillas, rabbits and my cats. I'm also a pretty quiet mellow person (unless provoked) so I guess in the case of my boyfriend, all I can really say is... opposties attract.
So here's an update. My boyfriend and I disucssed this issue to death. When faced with the reality of losing me, he agreed to modify his behavior to see if it makes a difference, which he should have done int he first place. I really do understand his frustration, but still he needs to chill. I did take her to the vet right away to have her checked out, full work up, shots, blood work, etc. and she turned out perfectly healthy... as expected. She's 9.5 pounds, I thought that was kinda cute... but anyhow, she was suprisingly awesome in the office, I was preparing myself for a stressful day. She seemed to love the vet so much. The place I took her is strictly a cat hospital, so they only treat cats and the staff was awesome with her.
The vet said to see how she does with him modifying his behavior for a few months consistently, if she didnt get better there were options for medicition. Which I ovbiously wanted to avoid. He think the aggressive behavior towards him may have to do with her being territorial and since she is a generally shy cat, her hissing from under the bed and in the closet is her way of showing him "who's boss." Also, the change in her seemed to start when he officially moved in. That was the same time, I stopped letting them sleep in the bedroom with us. Mostly because his 2 yr old stays here and I know my male cat would end up sleeping on her face, couldnt have that. So I guess he was leaning more towards her being like this because she may feel he came in and took her place and of course him being just a loud kinda guy, doesnt help. Really it could be anything I suppose.
The first month, nothing changed... which I had expected. The funny thing is, I noticed the hissing more when he came home from work... so I thought of the possibility of a smell from his job bothering her. In any case, he really did make a drastic change. He has been watching football at my brothers so that he wasnt here in the room when the Giants scored (thats when he seems to yell and jump around the most) The hissing subsided just a little, but she was still running from him and wouldnt really be in the same room. Mostly avoiding him, but still hissing from time to time.
So the next few months, same thing... but I will say, she doesnt hiss as much and he has really clamed down and makes attempts to speaking softly and nice to her. I let him feed her and give her treats, still she avoids him. She is however staying in the same room as him. If i'm on the couch and he's at the computer, she'll come and sit on the couch with me, lay down and fall asleep. She watches him from the corner of her eye and runs if he gets too close. She'll eat her dry food in the same room, but again, if he moves towards her, or gets too close, she bolts. She didnt seem nervous or anxious either, just kinda normal. I thought things were progressing, when just a few weeks ago, one night, he leaned over the foot board of the bed to kiss his daughter good night and out of no where she lunged up, hissing and swating. Scared the life out of his daugther and i'm sure really startled him.
Where I am now: I took her back to the vet 2 weeks ago. Explained the situation, the boyfriend came too. The vet suggested trying her on cat prozac, just for a while to see if the hissing stops and she becomes more open to accepting him. He said again, she is a very healthy cat and doesnt seem to have any physical illnesses. I wasnt very happy to make that choice, but i'll try anything to make the situation better. I am planning on just doing this for a few months then weaning her off. The vet said lets just see how things go... and told me lets try to fix this one step at a time. Oh also, the feline-away plug in, I tried it before and didnt notice a change, but i'll try it again.
So I get the medicine in the mail tonight, I ordered fish flavor, thinking... "cats like fish, this should work perfectly!." Of course, because this is the story of my life, she didnt take it very well. Wouldnt take it in any of the wet food I tried, I tried kinda holding her and tilting her head back, hoping her mouth would drop to ease the liquid in her mouth and that she HATED! I didnt even get 1/2 of it in and now she's glaring at me from across the room. I tried tuna too thinking I was a genius and still nothing. I think between the little bits she got from food and the little I got in her mouth, she's had enough for one day and i'll try again tomorrow.
I am still frustrated, now about getting her to take the meds mostly, but i'm also equally relieved that the BF is easing up and sees how much its been hurting me to stress over this. I'm sure its going to take longer then 4 months for her to warm up to him. And who knows if the cat prozac will even make a difference. Although I did hear alot of good things about it from people who give it to thier cat.
In any case, I just wanted to write a follow-up, so that everyone doesnt think I'm this terrible girl who lets this eveil, abusive man run around the house yelling at her cats. I promise you I would never dream of being with anyone who didnt respect what I love the most in this world.
If anyone has any recommendations for getting a picky cat to take the liquid meds, I'd be so grateful! Otherwise, will update you soon on the progress.
Thanks for listenin to me ramble