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I caused family drama last night. (Very loooonnnggg) - Page 2

post #31 of 42
I just looked at your profile and you are much older than what your post sounds. I thought you were a college student or just finished. At your age, you need to take this seriously, you will need that money. I am surprised at your naiveté considering your age. We all have to learn sometime, sorry this lesson is coming so late in your life. Now is the time to act, you most likely will not have another chance at this money. Your parents must be getting on, I would not fool around if I were you.
post #32 of 42
Thread Starter 
Look guys, I really appreciate your concern but this post wasn’t about money. I don’t know if I mentioned this but the house is in my mother and fathers name until my sister pays. Not only that my father made it so that if he dies it can not be transferred over to my sister unless 3 trustees of his will go over it and sign it. As with all his assets everything is split equally and decided by three people.

Money is not an issue here, my father is a smart guy who has ALWAYS ALWAYS been fair with his girls. He loves us all equally and would never let one of us have more (other then my Mother of course)

I have a great family who would do anything for each other. BUT we also clash a lot. Even though my sister is a spoiled B word I would bet my life that if I was down and out she would take me in.

I do appreciate all of your words and support. That’s why you guys are so awesome. You always there for the members.

The house is not an issue for me. Nothing bad will come out of the house, there is absolutely no way in hell my sister could ever get the house 100%. To do that she would have to go through my Mom, Dad and three lawyers.

I have concluded what I am going to do though. I have decided I am going to be the better person and apologize. My Father called me last night and talked to me about everything. He apologized for making fun of me and said he didn’t know I was so upset. I apologized to my Mother as well for yelling at her and told her I loved her no matter what, those books were important to me but nothing is more important then my family… As for my sister I don’t know. She obviously knows I have been saying things about her (nothing is secret in my family) but I am thinking of apologizing to her as well for saying mean things so that this doesn’t cause a rift between us for family functions.

I think doing all of the above will help me… My heart feels so heavy and I feel so depressed. I just want it over with. I feel right now I need to let by gones be gone and make my head feel better.

Thanks again all.
post #33 of 42
I agree that you should hire a lawyer and have everything in writing. When my parents died, my sister took everything because it was left to my daughter and she was at the time my daughter's guardian, temporarily. I got my daddy's cane, and that was it out of a house I grew up in. I found out later the house was sold anyway, even though it was to my daughter's when she turned 25. It needed some work, but she could have put, a new roof on it with the money my grandfather left her. My sister spent most of that, too.
post #34 of 42
OH MY GOSH!!! I would be I can't believe how unfair all of that is?! First of all what the heck! Your parents give her the house and throw out all your stuff?! How is that right, why couldn't they put your stuff at their house till you got back?!

I can see why you would be so upset! I'm not the best person to take advice from, but I wouldn't apologize for anything until they apologize first.

post #35 of 42
Quote:
I have concluded what I am going to do though. I have decided I am going to be the better person and apologize. My Father called me last night and talked to me about everything. He apologized for making fun of me and said he didn’t know I was so upset. I apologized to my Mother as well for yelling at her and told her I loved her no matter what, those books were important to me but nothing is more important then my family… As for my sister I don’t know. She obviously knows I have been saying things about her (nothing is secret in my family) but I am thinking of apologizing to her as well for saying mean things so that this doesn’t cause a rift between us for family functions.

I think doing all of the above will help me… My heart feels so heavy and I feel so depressed. I just want it over with. I feel right now I need to let by gones be gone and make my head feel better
I hope your family knows how lucky they are to have you! I don't know that I could apologize the way you have but I suppose in the end I would, just to keep the peace. You're a good person, and I hope they appreciate you.
post #36 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by silvionc View Post
Look guys, I really appreciate your concern but this post wasn’t about money. I don’t know if I mentioned this but the house is in my mother and fathers name until my sister pays. Not only that my father made it so that if he dies it can not be transferred over to my sister unless 3 trustees of his will go over it and sign it. As with all his assets everything is split equally and decided by three people.

Money is not an issue here, my father is a smart guy who has ALWAYS ALWAYS been fair with his girls. He loves us all equally and would never let one of us have more (other then my Mother of course)

I have a great family who would do anything for each other. BUT we also clash a lot. Even though my sister is a spoiled B word I would bet my life that if I was down and out she would take me in.

I do appreciate all of your words and support. That’s why you guys are so awesome. You always there for the members.

The house is not an issue for me. Nothing bad will come out of the house, there is absolutely no way in hell my sister could ever get the house 100%. To do that she would have to go through my Mom, Dad and three lawyers.

I have concluded what I am going to do though. I have decided I am going to be the better person and apologize. My Father called me last night and talked to me about everything. He apologized for making fun of me and said he didn’t know I was so upset. I apologized to my Mother as well for yelling at her and told her I loved her no matter what, those books were important to me but nothing is more important then my family… As for my sister I don’t know. She obviously knows I have been saying things about her (nothing is secret in my family) but I am thinking of apologizing to her as well for saying mean things so that this doesn’t cause a rift between us for family functions.

I think doing all of the above will help me… My heart feels so heavy and I feel so depressed. I just want it over with. I feel right now I need to let by gones be gone and make my head feel better.

Thanks again all.

That sounds great. Your original post did sound as if you were going to get sacked. I am glad your dad is so protective of his money and making sure you both share in it when he is gone. I think you are doing the right thing, and if it makes you feel better, that is the most important. In a few weeks all will be forgotten. good luck
post #37 of 42
I'm glad you and your parents have settled things.
post #38 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by libby74 View Post
I hope your family knows how lucky they are to have you! I don't know that I could apologize the way you have but I suppose in the end I would, just to keep the peace. You're a good person, and I hope they appreciate you.
you're right, too - if you can truly apologize & forgive them for their bad behavior, you will feel better.
post #39 of 42
kick your sister in the arse and tell her to grow the hell up! god she needs a rude awakening to be treating you like that...

In my opinion I would say like everyone else and talk to a lawyer about everything that is going on. Even if you don't go ahead and hire them they can advise you on what you should and shouldn't do in this situation.

I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time but always keep in mind that karma always gives the hardest kicks the arse to the worst of people and know that you are in the right in feeling how you do and that your family needs to rethink how they treat you
post #40 of 42
As you can easily see from most of the posts, money is almost always an issue with most folks - it's wonderful to see that it is not the motivation for you. Often when issues come down to money in families, normally nice people turn into blood-suckers. Who gets what and/or how much should never be an issue. I never understood why anyone should feel they are "entitled" to what others have left behind. Nobody owes us anything and we shouldn't be expecting it.

You are a very kind and thoughtful person and I can't help but think that you would have to have been raised by fairly nice people to be the way you are. It's wonderful that you can forgive and forget and it seems as though your family does as well. We all need to vent once in awhile so I hope it helped to lower your stress level by venting to us.
post #41 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
As you can easily see from most of the posts, money is almost always an issue with most folks - it's wonderful to see that it is not the motivation for you.
Thanks Yosemite. I was very surprised to see this entire thread turn to money and I ended up having to explain myself more then I wanted to in defense lol. I am not saying anything bad about it because it is very sweet and I really did appreciate all of the support and thoughts everyone had to give me. Thank you everyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Often when issues come down to money in families, normally nice people turn into blood-suckers. Who gets what and/or how much should never be an issue. I never understood why anyone should feel they are "entitled" to what others have left behind. Nobody owes us anything and we shouldn't be expecting it.
I totally, totally agree with the above. I don’t expect the house, I won’t be getting a lawyer for that. It’s not my house, if my parents give her a house I will just suck it up. That won’t happen but it’s really not my house to complain about not getting. I will totally appreciate it if I got the money though. As I said before, I don’t believe in lawyers and courts when it comes to blood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
You are a very kind and thoughtful person and I can't help but think that you would have to have been raised by fairly nice people to be the way you are. It's wonderful that you can forgive and forget and it seems as though your family does as well. We all need to vent once in awhile so I hope it helped to lower your stress level by venting to us.
Thanks Yoemite, I have grown up in a very good family. I really couldn’t have asked for better. Lol and it really did help me out. As ive said in previous posts i dont really have any friends close to where i live so sometimes it hard when stressful things come up.

I did end up apologizing to my parents. I have yet to talk to my sister. I am still not sure what to do about that. I am excited my Dad is flying down tomorrow. My Mom was supposed to come but she has a major flu (but assured me a thousand times it wasn’t because of this mess). I don’t know why my sister isn’t coming down. I can only assume because her and my mother were going to drive down she never got a plane ticket.

I feel a ton better. I will feel ever better when I try and figure out what to do with my sister lol. I kept trying to pick up the phone and dial but for some reason I kept pausing and not dialing…
post #42 of 42
Quote:
I feel a ton better. I will feel ever better when I try and figure out what to do with my sister lol. I kept trying to pick up the phone and dial but for some reason I kept pausing and not dialing…
Wait a minute! Do we have the same sister?!

Seriously, I'm glad you're feeling better about the situation. It sound as if your folks actually have good financial sense. I could tell you a horror story about my FIL passing away without a will, but I won't---it's just too ugly. Hopefully, your folks have things well in hand.

Good luck with that sister!
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