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I need your opinion please!!

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
ok, I wrote this for my hubby just a few minutes ago! I have never written anything like this before and it just popped up so please let me know what you think! I am open to any ideas if you think change might help it! For those that do not know, my hubby drives a semi nation wide.

Everyday I think of you
many times a day.
Wishing I could be with you
or have you on the way.

Thinking of the times we have
so many things to share.
Wishing that we had more
too show how much I care!

Dreaming of our time alone
Love is in my heart
Even though there are miles between
we are never far apart.

Feel your body next to mine
hear you breathe & feel your heart
I know we wee meant to be
Every breath a whole new start!

Ok well that is what I have now! Please help me get it right!
post #2 of 12
it's beautiful and so sweet, i think Hallmark would pay big $$$$ for it

he'll love it for sure

post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
Oh thank you! Are you sure there is nothing I need to change? what about punctuation? I am lost when it comes to stuff like this! Where it came from who knows! I have been thinking alot about him! He will be home this weekend!
post #4 of 12
i'm sure, it's amazing, i cant relate to how hard
it would be to have my husband on the road all the
time, but, i know i would be thinking of him all the
time as well, and writing special notes and poems
all the time as well!!

puncuation isnt important in poetry, in my opinion, anyway...
i say, who cares about punctuation?! i dont use it
ever in standard poems.

all that matters is that it comes from the heart,
and you can see in your poem that it does, and that's
why it is so special.

post #5 of 12
Thread Starter 
ok thank you so much! I knew I would get help here!
post #6 of 12
oh, Ash, there is nothing better then recieving a poem or beautiful note
from the one you love, and its quite a feeling to be able to express love
through poetry as well.

post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 
Well like I said it has never come to me before and I dont know if it will happen again (I hope it does)! As for Halmark I guess it would make a good missing you or long distance love! LOL I wish I could be paid for that!:tounge2:
post #8 of 12
That's really good Ash! Are you going to give it to your hubby when he is finished with his next run? My cousin is the only person I know who drives a truck, and I don't talk to his wife so I have no idea how wives of truck drivers must feel when their husband is away.

But you do have us to keep you company here
post #9 of 12
What a beautiful poem! It's wonderful as it is.
post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 
Well he loved it! He was home this weekend so I have not been on! Thank you everyone!
post #11 of 12
Ash that was beautiful!!! I'll bet he loved it!!! How romantic!!!! You have a way with words....you should write more often!!!
post #12 of 12
I wouldn't change a thing!

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