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Do You Know Your Neighbours?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I think the new people across the hall from me are moving in. I have no idea who they are.

It got me thinking that I've lived in this building for 12 years and the only person I know by name is the caretaker. I know a few people by sight, but have no dealings with them beyond seeing them coming and going in the building.

When I moved in I did get to know the woman who lived next door to me largely because she worked at a place I used to work at and knew the same people I did. But we never got together as friends or spend time at each others apartment.

In the past I would sometimes become friends with people in buildings that I lived in, but with the exception of one instance, it was always disasterous. They would stop over on a whim "for coffee", and one woman actually came by my apartment asking if she could borrow a couple things. When I inquired what she needed, she produced an entire grocery list (milk, bread, butter, lunch meat, flour, coffee, eggs, cheese etc. etc.) and told me that I didn't need to give her everything on it! And when I was moving from there she popped by on the pretense of saying "bye" but in fact she was doing her best to get invited in for a few beer that she saw sitting on the coffee table for the guys doing my move.

And then there was the girl who lived in the basement of that building who came over one day and actually had the nerve to steal my very expensive cosmetics from my bathroom. As if I wouldn't notice given the fact that one eye shadow was almost $30.00 and was only available by mail from England by the time she stole it from me and claimed to have bought it at The Bay where I had bought it originally a year before.

So after that I made it a point to not get involved with my neighbours.

Back when I lived in the upstairs of a house, I became friends with the girl renting the apartment to me. She lived downstairs and we went out clubbing all of the time. And I got to know the people around us too. But for some reason it was different than getting to know people in an apartment building.

Anyway, I find that I tend to keep to myself in order to avoid problems with nosey neighbours.

How about you? Do you like to get to know your neighours on a friendly basis or do you prefer to just know them to see them and keep to yourself?
post #2 of 29
For me it kinda varies... I knew my upstairs neighbor when I moved in here, mostly because the maintenance guy, Steve (same one i refer to in a post elsewhere who just got a kitten), introduced us the day got here. She was on her deck with Missy, her cat. When her cancer really started kicking her 90 year old behind, she moved in with her son and DiL. I talked to her once before she passed away. Now, I don't trust most of my neighbors here. Especially not in my particular building. There's one lady in the next building I say hello to, chat with if neither of us are in a hurry... we each know where the other lives, but we're too busy to do much.

In Chicago, I knew a couple of my neighbors on my floor, and one in a connecting building... before that, not really. I knew one neighbor really well years ago in my second apartment (I was 19 and reminded her of her estranged daughter... there are stories there... whew). We hung out but didn't do a lot (of course, I kept her from beating the snot out of a chick who parked in her assigned space, and she called the cops when I didn't answer my door after sustaining a concussion the night before... I was in the ER, but she didn't know).

I keep to myself mostly now, since Jean (the elderly lady) left. I want to move out of here as soon as I can... it's not a great neighborhood... and I'd probably have similar visits from neighbors once they saw how much I have... I keep a well stocked pantry and do lots of stuff, including collecting books.

Amanda
post #3 of 29
Well, considering I live in an RV resort park..... I do know all the other staff, not many of us this time of year, but we are all like extended family.
I know some regular visitors and I know the long term visitors.

Kinda hard though to really get to know them all, given the nature of where I live.
post #4 of 29
There are days that I WISH I didn't know my neighbors.

The people on the right of me have lived next door to me for 16 years. We've seen their kids grow up, go off to college, and the oldest just got engaged (man I feel old). Nice people.

Then there's the couple on the other side of us. . The kids are a mess. The parents are (as dh puts it) "a work in progress". There has been so much drama over there in the last year. My kids don't like either of these kids- and they're about the same age as mine!

I've got a neighbor across the street- her dd is the same age as my dd. And this year- the girls won't be going to the same school. She got into the IB program, my dd is going to the high school for our district (didn't want anything to do with IB).

The house next door to her is a foreclosure Just happened within the last few months. Husband died, wife had no way of paying for the house- so they just left it. It needs a LOT of work, and I just hate having an empty house sitting so close to me. Needless to say, we all keep an eye on it, because there have been a few problems with break-ins.

There's a couple with 2 small children, I never see them out. Then another couple with a little girl in 2nd grade- she had my youngest's 1st grade teacher last year.
post #5 of 29
We do not know anyone here yet. They do say hi to us though. in our old place we would just say hi to certain neighbors because some were not very nice.
post #6 of 29
My closest neighbor is a least a half-mile away. I have no idea who they are. That's just the way I like it, too!
post #7 of 29
I prefer to keep to myself
post #8 of 29
Yeah - our one neighbor babysits our dog if we need a day or two The other neighbor passed away a few months after we moved, but her kids will come down to the house for a few weeks during the year - otherwise there is no one there. On the 3rd side (we live on the corner), the neighbor is rarely home, but we do know her.
post #9 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
I prefer to keep to myself
I don't really care to know any of my neighbors. I live in an apartment complex, and most of the people here are rude. The ones around me, like to slam doors and such which can get really annoying. A lot of the people here also don't know how to park in the parking lot. They like to take up 2 spaces, instead of just backing up and parking correctly. That's one thing that really irritates me. I can back up into a parking space and still be in the lines, but someone else just pulls in, and they are crooked. Ugh!
post #10 of 29
My neighbors hmmmm............

Well there is the guy that bought the property next to us-a Harley dude, single for now and is currently working for a large commercial contractor so he is rarely home (YAY!!!)
The other person that has property next to us we know them pretty well in fact I stopped over earlier this week and chatted for a while and to work out arrangements as their children will finally catch the bus close to their house (5th and 7th grade). THe kids are in sports so they are running all the time. Then there is a lady late 70's close by but she is never home and lastly the evil cat shooting neighbor-I might wave to his wife but we were never close to begin with. And about 1/4 mile down the road I am friendly with that neighbor as she is my latest cat sitter!!
post #11 of 29
I live in a six flat, and I know all my neighbors pretty well. I know the neighbors on either side of our building, and the neighbors across the street. I know some of the people who work in the grocery store, deli, etc around the neighborhood. It's a big city, but I like getting to know the people in my neighborhood.
post #12 of 29
We always have a party when we move somewhere new and invite all the neighbors. We learn the names of the ones who come and usually hear about the ones who didn't come. Usually neighbors say hello and that's about it.
post #13 of 29
I know most of our neighbors.

To the south of us is a retired woman, whose husband passed away 18 months ago. One of her sons movedin with her.

The house to the north of us has new residents. The former couple were Katrina refugees - and terrified of my dogs. It's been too hot to hang out front this wek and mee the new ones.

The couple behind us has a son the same age as my daughter. He used to steal sporting equipment from my sons. Our driveways are on the back of the house, accessed through an alley. The wife accused my kids of kicking a ball on her property and tearing up her plants. We saw her son do it. One morning, one of her plants had been pulled up and stuck on our driveway. I took it as a threat from her. We haven't sopken in over 15 years and avoid each other. My husband and kids hate her.
post #14 of 29
I know our downstairs neighbors and we're friendly with each other and I know the nextdoor neighbor on sight (but I don't know his name). We all ended up in my downstairs neighbor's basement a couple times this summer. Bonding!
post #15 of 29
You know, I remember when I was growing up and our neighborhood was a community. As a kid, I knew everyone pretty much everyone, and every one looked out for each other. Of course there were 5 families that all knew each other (either from school, or from K of C) and they all had kids. My aunt and uncle lived next door and a distant cousin (elderly) lived right across the street. The adults would help dig everyone's car out after snow storms and watched the house if someone when on vacation. When anyone had a party over the holidays, everyone in the neighborhood was invited. I really miss that closeness.

I lived in an apartment building for a year, and I didn't speak to anyone except to say hi. I got a good idea about their home life from what I could hear from the walls, and I will NEVER live in an apartment again!

Right now, yes I know most of my neighbors. Our closest neighbor is my MIL so, I guess you could say I know her (do I have a choice? ) Actually, she is great and I love her to death! I don't really know too many of the other neighbors, except for the sweetest girl that loves my dogs and wants to come down and play with them. She is 16 and insists on calling me "Miss Hope". How sweet is that?? I ran into her and her father at the store and she actually introduced us! How many 16 yr olds think to actually do that?
post #16 of 29
I love my neighbors!

When we moved in my husband came in the house one day and said I'm gonna go sit on the front porch with the neighbor and have a beer. I didn't think much of it until he came home and told me the neighbors name. He was a year younger than me, we went to school together 1st-12th, he played little league baseball with my friends etc. He lives there with his fiancee

It's been the best thing ever, we usualy grill out together one evening a week, they took care of our cats for us over 4th of July. We've been blessed to have them as neighbors.

The house on the other side of us has been vacant for 15 years at least.

Leslie
post #17 of 29
I'm in a big apartment/townhouse complex and my neighbours are awesome

Just recently we went to the Russian River with 3 other couples in our building of 8 townhouses - one of the ladies is now probably my closest friend. In the rest of the complex, there's probably about 10 other families that I know pretty well, and a bunch of others I always stop and say hi to.

We're in a family friendly complex, where a lot of people have moved from other areas, and everyone is in the tech industry, with a lot of stay at home wives, so we're all pretty close.
post #18 of 29
My neighbor's are over 1/2 mile away. One is a 93-94 y/o man, with his 50 y/o widowed daughter & 18 y/o grandaughter. Nice family, I help them out when I can.

Other side of me is a family with kids the same age as all of us, that we all went to school with.

Other neighbor is a .

Last neighbor is a crochety old farmer & his wife. Nice enough people.....if you don't aggravate the husband.
post #19 of 29
i don't really know any of mine. i did meet the lady next door [assuming the tenant is still her] when she moved in last summer, but that's it - i've seen others, talked to some, but only to return mis-delivered mail, that kind of thing.
i was the same way when i lived in an apartment. i think i'm just basically a bit anti-social!
post #20 of 29
I live in a block of 10 units and will say hello to all the other tennants and make small talk.

Demetri is friends with a little girl though She taps on the window every day and he runs over to purr and meow at her.
post #21 of 29
I stay away from one of them because I turned her down for a pet at the shelter since she can't look after the one she has, I know the two neighbours to the left of me, we don't do things together but we often stop to chat and one of them feeds the cats if I am away.
post #22 of 29
I like to know my neighbors enough to be able to knock on their door for small favors. Once when I lived in an apartment building, my neighbors knocked on my door at 6:30 in the morning. It was a week day and they didn't hear my alarm go off so assumed that I had forgot to turn my alarm on the night before. Saved me from being late to work that day! If I didn't know them, they would not have done that.

When I lived in the deep country, you knew the neighbors car and faces as they drove by. I'd wave at them and they'd wave back. Over time you'd chat a little just to be neighborly. It worked to everyone's advantage because when one of you left for vacation, you could depend on each other to watch each other's home, take in the mail, feed/water the outdoor critters, etc.
post #23 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I think the new people across the hall from me are moving in. I have no idea who they are.

It got me thinking that I've lived in this building for 12 years and the only person I know by name is the caretaker. I know a few people by sight, but have no dealings with them beyond seeing them coming and going in the building.

When I moved in I did get to know the woman who lived next door to me largely because she worked at a place I used to work at and knew the same people I did. But we never got together as friends or spend time at each others apartment.

In the past I would sometimes become friends with people in buildings that I lived in, but with the exception of one instance, it was always disasterous. They would stop over on a whim "for coffee", and one woman actually came by my apartment asking if she could borrow a couple things. When I inquired what she needed, she produced an entire grocery list (milk, bread, butter, lunch meat, flour, coffee, eggs, cheese etc. etc.) and told me that I didn't need to give her everything on it! And when I was moving from there she popped by on the pretense of saying "bye" but in fact she was doing her best to get invited in for a few beer that she saw sitting on the coffee table for the guys doing my move.

And then there was the girl who lived in the basement of that building who came over one day and actually had the nerve to steal my very expensive cosmetics from my bathroom. As if I wouldn't notice given the fact that one eye shadow was almost $30.00 and was only available by mail from England by the time she stole it from me and claimed to have bought it at The Bay where I had bought it originally a year before.

So after that I made it a point to not get involved with my neighbours.

Back when I lived in the upstairs of a house, I became friends with the girl renting the apartment to me. She lived downstairs and we went out clubbing all of the time. And I got to know the people around us too. But for some reason it was different than getting to know people in an apartment building.

Anyway, I find that I tend to keep to myself in order to avoid problems with nosey neighbours.

How about you? Do you like to get to know your neighours on a friendly basis or do you prefer to just know them to see them and keep to yourself?
Perhaps I should consider myself lucky, but so far, we have no neighbors at all. We were the first to buy a townhome in this complex and then the mortgage crises hit and no home has sold around us so we are an island to ourself. However it is our normal thing to invite any new neighbors over for dinner so all we have to do now is get a neighbor!
post #24 of 29
We know the guy across the street. He's the kind of guy that talks to everyone and he and his grandson took care of our yard work when DH was in the military and would deploy. Other than that we don't. I know people by sight but that's it. I have waved on occasion to our neighbor on one side, but that's about it. DH and I are pretty private people so we just don't socialize much.
post #25 of 29
I know one of my neighbors to speak to when I see him. He is our neighborhood watch, so I kinda of like knowing he keeps an eye on things.
post #26 of 29
Well we just moved 3 weeks ago. Our old neighborhood, we kinda new the neighbors, said hi once in a while but thats about it. At our new place the next door neighbors are really nice. Have already invited us for a drink and love my kids (the are empty nesters) Seem like the neighbors that will watch out for our house if we ever go out of town. It's actually a nice feeling.
post #27 of 29
I live in an apartment building that has 57 units. I can't say that I really know the neighbors. I don't really see them that often.

Some I know by sight but do not know their names. The couple next door did introduce themselves when they first moved in. As did the lady across the hall that moved in last month.

I do know the names of all the dogs on my floor because I see them and their people on the elevator. In some cases I know the dog's name but not the name of the person on the other end of the leash.
post #28 of 29
As one of the desperate housewives says, I don't have to be friends with my neighbours, just close enough not toworry about the house burning down and no one caring :P

I know Faye and her bloke who live upstairs to me and I know the lady in number 44 (but in my head shes Princess' meowmy so I don't know her name). I have met them all, and spoken to most of them, they're very nice, but I work nights and have only lived there 6 months so I don't really get much chance to interact with them.
post #29 of 29
We live in an condo complex. There's 8 units in our building. There's a substantial amount of eastern Europeans, mostly Polish, here and our building is exactly half American, half Polish. For the most part we're all friendly- we at least say hi to each other, hold the door; one of the Polish guys downstairs helped my boyfriend (who has mild cerebral palsy in one of his legs) carry a big bag of potting soil upstairs for him.

One of the American women downstairs has a couple of cats and a couple of friendly chihuahuas (!- usually they're such nippy little things, but she must be doing something right!) and I've talked with her a few times- I was outside trying to lure a stray cat over to me one night, to see what kind of shape he was in and she came home from work, said she'd been putting food out for him for a couple of months, but he seemed to have no interest in coming inside, otherwise she'd take him in. Turns out she's taken a few strays over to the shelter I volunteer at.

We had an unfortunate incident with the neighbors directly below us last month- we had a pipe burst and there was water all over their bathroom. I shouldn't say it was unfortunate- they reacted about as nicely as one could hope and insurance covered all the damage. It just wasn't the ideal way to really meet the neighbors

Sometimes I wish we were more friendly with our neighbors- some of them seem interesting, and it might be nice to get to know them better. I wish some of my Polish neighbors would throw a couple of their homemade perogi's our way

Then I read some of the stories posted about about neighbors dropping in with a shopping list of stuff they want to "borrow" and stealing stuff....and I'm a little grateful we keep to ourselves.
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