Have any of you ever been in a relationship where there is an unequal amount of love involved? If so how did you resolve the tention it creates.
I have been in my current relationship for 11 months as of yesterday and I am pretty happy with it but the fact that my girl can drive me up a wall most of the time makes me question how much I love her. It feels like I spend 90% of my time repressing negative feelings towards her. When she calls I sometimes actually shutter because I don't want to talk to her and then I try to quickly find an excuse to get off the phone.
I know I care about her though because when I try to end the relationship I just can't do it because it would crush her. She loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. She has said that many times and I believe her and when I think about it, the being together forever part, it just makes me feel uneasy. If this was a good healthy relationship that uneasyness shouldn't be there. She doesn't know how I feel because I can't really tell her how I feel with out her flying off the handle. She overreacts to EVERYTHING and is very childish which isn't good when your 30.
Two Examples:
1) We were playing Monopoly the other day and I was winning. She gets mad, throws the dice across the room and then curls up in the fetal position and starts balling because I am winning(she had beaten the pants off of me the last two games). When I go to build houses she starts crying again and asks me why I am doing this to her. She has no problem building 4 hotels on a property when she is winning but when I try to build houses she lays on the guilt.
2) After the game of Monopoly ends, no winner I gave in and traded her 90 percent of my properties and then we decided to quit she asks me to spend the night with her because its 3:30 and she doesn't want me driving home that late. I politely said "I would rather stay at the hotel tonight" because I am sick and tired of her behavior from the last 5 hours of Monopoly. I said it very camly and in a non-insulting way and she starts balling again. After I calm her down she asks again if I would stay and I say again "I would rather not." Get gets up out of bed and sits in front of the door to her room so I can't leave and then starts to cry again. I calm her down again and again she asks if I stay and by this time I am a little angry at her for acting this way so I lose my cool and say "If I stay its because I want you to be happy, not because I want to". Again she gets in the fetal position and starts balling. Long story short I stayed there that night but we didn't stop fighting until 5 AM and she had to work at 10:30 the next morning.
After that night I have really questioned if I wanted to be in the relationship with someone who can act that way at 30. She almost seems borderline bi-polor with her mood shifts and its very hard to deal with. I love her, if I didn't I wouldn't stay with her but I am starting to get worn out and tired of this relationship. I am honestly only staying because I don't want to hurt her, I care so much that I am willing to stay in this relationship to make her happy but its not fair to me, and its not really fair to her.
How should I fix this?
I have been in my current relationship for 11 months as of yesterday and I am pretty happy with it but the fact that my girl can drive me up a wall most of the time makes me question how much I love her. It feels like I spend 90% of my time repressing negative feelings towards her. When she calls I sometimes actually shutter because I don't want to talk to her and then I try to quickly find an excuse to get off the phone.
I know I care about her though because when I try to end the relationship I just can't do it because it would crush her. She loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. She has said that many times and I believe her and when I think about it, the being together forever part, it just makes me feel uneasy. If this was a good healthy relationship that uneasyness shouldn't be there. She doesn't know how I feel because I can't really tell her how I feel with out her flying off the handle. She overreacts to EVERYTHING and is very childish which isn't good when your 30.
Two Examples:
1) We were playing Monopoly the other day and I was winning. She gets mad, throws the dice across the room and then curls up in the fetal position and starts balling because I am winning(she had beaten the pants off of me the last two games). When I go to build houses she starts crying again and asks me why I am doing this to her. She has no problem building 4 hotels on a property when she is winning but when I try to build houses she lays on the guilt.
2) After the game of Monopoly ends, no winner I gave in and traded her 90 percent of my properties and then we decided to quit she asks me to spend the night with her because its 3:30 and she doesn't want me driving home that late. I politely said "I would rather stay at the hotel tonight" because I am sick and tired of her behavior from the last 5 hours of Monopoly. I said it very camly and in a non-insulting way and she starts balling again. After I calm her down she asks again if I would stay and I say again "I would rather not." Get gets up out of bed and sits in front of the door to her room so I can't leave and then starts to cry again. I calm her down again and again she asks if I stay and by this time I am a little angry at her for acting this way so I lose my cool and say "If I stay its because I want you to be happy, not because I want to". Again she gets in the fetal position and starts balling. Long story short I stayed there that night but we didn't stop fighting until 5 AM and she had to work at 10:30 the next morning.
After that night I have really questioned if I wanted to be in the relationship with someone who can act that way at 30. She almost seems borderline bi-polor with her mood shifts and its very hard to deal with. I love her, if I didn't I wouldn't stay with her but I am starting to get worn out and tired of this relationship. I am honestly only staying because I don't want to hurt her, I care so much that I am willing to stay in this relationship to make her happy but its not fair to me, and its not really fair to her.
How should I fix this?