A "what would you do" situation

I work with some pretty nice women, but this one in particular does things that I question in my mind if I would do.

Her hubby was experiencing some lower left pain and it got quite bad. It was one in the morning. She ended up taking him to the ER, dropped him off, told him to call when they figured something out, went home and back to bed....... Now, I know that almost 75% of time spent in ER's you are just waiting for something to happen, a doctor to come by, a tech to come do some tests, something.............

She and I get along really well and I really like her, but I just can't see me dropping Jerry off and saying, see ya! Call me! I'd stick with him to the bitter end.......

What would you do?

I'd stay with my husband. However, so people just can't take being in hospitals. When I had my surgery in June DH spent most of the time wondering around the grounds of the hospital because he couldn't take it.

I would stay as well. Gil had a lung biopsy a couple of years ago, but with him being 5 hours away up in Scotland i was helpless, and my stomach churned the whole morning until Jamie his son rang me to tell me that he was ok.

Some people are a lot harder than most of us

Originally Posted by lookingglass

DH spent most of the time wondering around the grounds of the hospital because he couldn't take it.

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But at least he stayed instead of going back to bed

I would stay-I can't believe she went back home to bed. Was this in the middle of the night or something??

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

I would stay as well. Gil had a lung biopsy a couple of years ago, but with him being 5 hours away up in Scotland i was helpless, and my stomach churned the whole morning until Jamie his son rang me to tell me that he was ok.

Some people are a lot harder than most of us

But at least he stayed instead of going back to bed

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They also gave him this beeper thing like you get when you wait in line at a chain restaurant. It lit up when I was ready to see him in the recovery room.

I would definitely have stayed! I absolutely hate hospitals and even just doctor's offices... I have HORRIBLE panic attacks when I have to go anywhere near them. But even still, I couldn't leave John there all alone.

I would have stayed, no questions asked.

Hmm.. I wonder if they have marital problems that no one knows about?

That's the only way I could imagine leaving my SO at the hospital..

When my 1st ex husband and I were together we had actually been separated but still living together for 6 months. One day he had a kidney stone and needed to go to the hospital so I took him and dropped him off. I knew it wasn't anything serious, plus, they wouldn't allow me and our son (who was 1yr old at the time) in the emergency room.
So I dropped him off, went home and waited for the call.

Wow. I definitely would have stayed.

Good grief.

I would have stayed, of course.

I wonder if the situation had been reversed, what her husband would have done.

Originally Posted by Misty8723

I wonder if the situation had been reversed, what her husband would have done.

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I mean, wow. Sounds like there are other problems!

When my hubby had a kidney stone, we didn't know what his intense pain was from, but I was pretty sure it was just a kidney stone from his description, and STILL, I stayed with him the entire time in the hospital! I only stepped out to call our bosses and tell them we wouldn't be in that day. Luckily, they let me stay!

If I was in the situation of dropping my husband at the ER - I'd be right there by his side (same for me). No way would I just say "see ya, call me" attitude! That's pretty disrespectful to your spouse.

Maybe they don't have a good marriage????

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Maybe they don't have a good marriage????

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That's what I was thinking too

The only reason I couldn't stay was because Justice wasn't allowed in the ER room and I had no babysitter...

Some years ago, a friend of mine rolled his car about thirty miles from home. He tried to climb out before the car was finished rolling, and it rolled over on his head, shattering his jaws on both sides.

He was taken to a hospital in a small town near where the accident occurred, and as they were working on him, he asked to call his wife. He could hardly speak, as you might imagine, but conveyed to her that they were going to take him to surgery at 5:00, and asked her to come be with him. It was only 3:00, so she had plenty of time to get there.

But she had a little craft store at that time, and it normally closed at 5:00. So she just chewed him out for wrecking the car and told him she would come after she closed the store.

But she didn't! Instead, she called the hospital to see if he was going to be released or not, and when she learned they were going to keep him for a couple of days, she left a message for him to call her when he was ready to be picked up!

And he was only thirty miles away.

They're still married now, over a decade later, but for the life of me, I can't imagine why.

That's horrible Carol!

No question I would stay, I agree with others things don't sound to good for them.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't see anything wrong.

Some people would have stayed and waited while someone else might not want to.

I know from personal experience that not everyone can take sitting in a hospital for whatever the reason. I know my brother has very bad memories of hospitals because of our Mom and Dad both having died in one. To this day hospitals really bother him, and he doesn't even like to go in and visit anyone in one either. Four years ago I was in the hospital in really bad shape. My brother wouldn't visit me until his ex wife talked to him and told him that I was in really bad shape and that he better get over his phobea and go visit me ... just in case.

I don't know the circumstances of why she didn't stay with her husband, but I wouldn't prejudge her for having left him there.

TBH with lower left sided abdominal pain I would suspect a bad case of gas or constipation. Lower right side is when you really need to be concerned. If it were a woman, perhaps a tubal pregnancy (a serious emergency).

What did he end up having? I would of stayed, of course, but I all so would not of gone to the ER unless it was an emergency. Im confused.

The only way I would leave is if I were thrown out, and then I would wait right outside.

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

They're still married now, over a decade later, but for the life of me, I can't imagine why.

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If that episode is any indicator of her concern for his well-being, I can't imagine why either! Good Grief!

As for the general question, to my mind, you take your spouse to the ER, you stay put, be the companion you are supposed to be -- true, there's often not a heck of a lot you can DO, but the support is what's important at that point. And frankly, I wouldn't have been doing much sleeping if I had gone home in the situation Susie described.

ETA: I'm no fan of hospitals, either. I saw more than I ever wanted to in the last years of my Dad's life, and could cheerfully never see another. But if my sweetie is there, that's my place.