OMG, I am such a worry wort I would never leave anyone at the hospital, not to mention my husband. Something doesn't sound right to me about this Susie.
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
A "what would you do" situation
- Thread starter kittylover4ever
- Start Date
Well, just about 4 years ago when DH collapsed at Jen's senior year back to school night, I had to call Jen because I hadn't taken my purse, so no license and besides I knew that she would want to go. I arranged for a neighbor have Ben spend the night at her place.
We got to the ER and had to wait to see him. When we did see the doctor, he told us that DH would have to get a pacemaker tomorrow or the next day but he was fine. We all said goodbye and went home because he wasn't critical in condition. It was a school night, too, although neither of us slept much.
Having said that, DH was not really fine and ended up with a pacemaker, an artificial aortic valve and a double by-pass. Jen and I were there the day of the operation and after as often as we could. Ben was still too young to see him.
We got to the ER and had to wait to see him. When we did see the doctor, he told us that DH would have to get a pacemaker tomorrow or the next day but he was fine. We all said goodbye and went home because he wasn't critical in condition. It was a school night, too, although neither of us slept much.
Having said that, DH was not really fine and ended up with a pacemaker, an artificial aortic valve and a double by-pass. Jen and I were there the day of the operation and after as often as we could. Ben was still too young to see him.
I was in the er last night and Dh was there the whole time. I even told him to go home because I knew it was late and I knew he had to work today. But he stayed and I am very glad. He's been there with me a few times and I love him more each time because I know how much he hates being there..
Oh, no question that I would have stayed. Heck, I had a scary episode with my mom the same day I was released from the hospital last December from a post-surgical infection. Sick, in terrible pain and exhausted myself, I spend the whole night there with her, relieved when my sister came mid-morning.
What a selfish woman -- and that story Carol told????? OMG - also a selfish, narcissistic creature... and the men are the enablers.
What a selfish woman -- and that story Carol told????? OMG - also a selfish, narcissistic creature... and the men are the enablers.
It's true that there's often nothing you can do but be there -- but sometimes you really can make a difference. Three examples:
1. On one of my father's early hospitalizations, an ER nurse was about to hook him up with a glucose drip when I said, "You do know he's diabetic, right?" She said, "Well, we do this with everybody." At that moment, the ER doctor came in and said, "What do we do with everybody?" The nurse explained, and the doctor said, "Well, let's check him out first." They did a quick test and found his blood sugar was already over 500. Glucose was the last thing he needed.
2. Another time, they were waiting for Papa's blood sugar to get down to a normal level so they could do surgery on him, but day after day, his readings remained too high. Finally one day, I happened to be there when they brought him breakfast, and I looked at the label on the syrup packet... and it was NOT sugar-free. Somehow Dietary just hadn't gotten the word, and they'd been giving him sugar at every meal.
3. When my mom had her colon surgery, my father and I both stayed with her. She was having waves of horrific pain, and needed me to hold her hand and talk her through them every five minutes or so. After several hours, she seemed to be doing better, sleeping longer between the pains... so I went down the hall to clean up and get something to drink.
In the 20 minutes I was gone, she nearly died. My father, thank goodness, was able to stay awake (it was about 1:00 AM by now), and he suddenly realized that she wasn't breathing right. He went out into the hall and called for a nurse, and they had to drag Mom up and try to get her to walk, give her stimulants, everything. She'd gotten too much morphine -- a normal dose, but too much for her very sensitive system.
They didn't have any kind of monitor on her at all, and the nurses were only supposed to check on her every three hours during the night! If Papa hadn't been with her, she really might have died.
So I'm a big believer in not leaving people alone in the hospital.
1. On one of my father's early hospitalizations, an ER nurse was about to hook him up with a glucose drip when I said, "You do know he's diabetic, right?" She said, "Well, we do this with everybody." At that moment, the ER doctor came in and said, "What do we do with everybody?" The nurse explained, and the doctor said, "Well, let's check him out first." They did a quick test and found his blood sugar was already over 500. Glucose was the last thing he needed.
2. Another time, they were waiting for Papa's blood sugar to get down to a normal level so they could do surgery on him, but day after day, his readings remained too high. Finally one day, I happened to be there when they brought him breakfast, and I looked at the label on the syrup packet... and it was NOT sugar-free. Somehow Dietary just hadn't gotten the word, and they'd been giving him sugar at every meal.
3. When my mom had her colon surgery, my father and I both stayed with her. She was having waves of horrific pain, and needed me to hold her hand and talk her through them every five minutes or so. After several hours, she seemed to be doing better, sleeping longer between the pains... so I went down the hall to clean up and get something to drink.
In the 20 minutes I was gone, she nearly died. My father, thank goodness, was able to stay awake (it was about 1:00 AM by now), and he suddenly realized that she wasn't breathing right. He went out into the hall and called for a nurse, and they had to drag Mom up and try to get her to walk, give her stimulants, everything. She'd gotten too much morphine -- a normal dose, but too much for her very sensitive system.
They didn't have any kind of monitor on her at all, and the nurses were only supposed to check on her every three hours during the night! If Papa hadn't been with her, she really might have died.
So I'm a big believer in not leaving people alone in the hospital.
Once, my neighbor who's husband has severe constipation, said this when he was so badly plugged up i guess he was rupturing: "I called an ambulance because I didn't want him to throw up in the backseat (of my brand new car)." Devotion, right there.
I couldn't leave. In the 29 years we've been married .I can't count how many times, I waited for Jim or how many times he has waited for me. He has sat there for hours while I've had migraines, I can't imagine not staying. When my children have had to stay in the hospital. I have stayed with them. I have spent quite a few night sleeping in a chair. I think it is very selfish
Do we know how the hubby felt about it? I mean most likely he would have preferred company, but with my 2 pretty major hip operations I wanted short visits and then sleep.
But this was not ER stuff. I was not in any danger. When my hubby went to the ER with chest pain, I met him there, and even bought him a book on the way over! Thank goodness it was rib cartilege (I SO can't spell that word) pain due to shoveling 3 feet of snow 2 weeks in a row. And he was just fine.
The 3 times my kids were in the hospital I went there and stayed until they were discharged. 4 -5 days in one case. No way would I leave them!
But this was not ER stuff. I was not in any danger. When my hubby went to the ER with chest pain, I met him there, and even bought him a book on the way over! Thank goodness it was rib cartilege (I SO can't spell that word) pain due to shoveling 3 feet of snow 2 weeks in a row. And he was just fine.
The 3 times my kids were in the hospital I went there and stayed until they were discharged. 4 -5 days in one case. No way would I leave them!
I've been to the ER a few times now in the last year, and DH was right there each time. The last time, we had gone in at about 2am I think, and they decided they were going to keep me a while, so I TOLD DH to go home, get some sleep and I'd get them to call when they were getting close to releasing me.
When I took him to the ER just recently because of his cat bite, I stayed with him. It was nothing major, and he could have driven himself, but I felt like I should stay with him - even in the treatment room where I was starting to twitch at being back in an ER
When I took him to the ER just recently because of his cat bite, I stayed with him. It was nothing major, and he could have driven himself, but I felt like I should stay with him - even in the treatment room where I was starting to twitch at being back in an ER
Maybe I'm just cold hearted, but I don't think its that big a deal.
Maybe she had a good reason for not wanting to miss out on sleep. Maybe she really hates hospitals. Maybe her husband didn't mind. Maybe he had a book. Maybe he's one of those people who likes to be alone when they're hurt.
When my dad got a stiff neck my mum left him in A&E to go to work.
If she left him when he was seriously hurt, like in the other story, then that's different.
Maybe she had a good reason for not wanting to miss out on sleep. Maybe she really hates hospitals. Maybe her husband didn't mind. Maybe he had a book. Maybe he's one of those people who likes to be alone when they're hurt.
When my dad got a stiff neck my mum left him in A&E to go to work.
If she left him when he was seriously hurt, like in the other story, then that's different.
I stayed with a roommate who we took to the hospital once; if I remember correctly, she was seriously allergic to some red ants she was bitten by. I've also had mere acquaintances drive me to the hospital and stay with me as I got stitched up.
However, if the driver and the drivee both would rather not have the driver hang around, why hang around? I can certainly imagine some combinations of personalities being better with not being accompanied.
Dropping someone off at the ER would not be my choice, but I don't think it makes any sense to condemn it, either.
However, if the driver and the drivee both would rather not have the driver hang around, why hang around? I can certainly imagine some combinations of personalities being better with not being accompanied.
Dropping someone off at the ER would not be my choice, but I don't think it makes any sense to condemn it, either.
I agree - I would never leave my husband at the ER, and he would never leave me - unless we had both agreed for the other to go home.
If she's a nice person, I doubt she's heartless - she just probably didn't bother mentioning that her husband told her to go home, get some sleep and pick him up when he was done.
If she's a nice person, I doubt she's heartless - she just probably didn't bother mentioning that her husband told her to go home, get some sleep and pick him up when he was done.
Without a doubt, I'd be there waiting with him.
That happened about a year ago, when my boyfriend had a kidney stone, except we didn't know that before we went. He was in so much pain, and I drove him to the hospital at 6 a.m. and waited with him until almost noon. I called out of work since it was a weekday and told them about the situation.
I would never be able to just drop him off and leave him and go back to bed or go to work.
That happened about a year ago, when my boyfriend had a kidney stone, except we didn't know that before we went. He was in so much pain, and I drove him to the hospital at 6 a.m. and waited with him until almost noon. I called out of work since it was a weekday and told them about the situation.
I would never be able to just drop him off and leave him and go back to bed or go to work.
