, the manufacturer of G.I. Joe
action figures, announced today its introduction of a "new" G.I. Joe. Called G.I. Joe 30 Years After the War
, the new action-figure is remarkable for its inaction.
"I was a G.I. and my name is Joe," stated the man after whom the new G.I. Joe was modeled and whose photograph appears elsewhere on this thread. "But I'd no idea they'd choose me for their model."
In keeping with political correctness, G.I. Joe 30 Years After the War doesn't wear a uniform nor carry weapons. "The new G.I. Joe pets cats and reads books," according to confidential sources.
Anti-war activists from the 1960s complain the new G.I. Joe is misleading. "Presenting G.I. Joe as a humane figure in his retirement is bad," said one former member of the Students for a Democratic Society. "It might make children think military people are human beings and that's not right."