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John Edwards cheated on his wife. - Page 2

post #31 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenKrazy View Post
Ahhh, see ..thats where someone who truly loves you and a marriage counsellor comes in. It has taken a lot of work, on both my part and his to get back to a point where he trusts me, we both know that he may never, ever fully trust me again, and that's something that I will always regret and have to live with. If he didn't truly love me (funnily enough, that's one reason things happened, I was convinced that he no longer did love me), he could never have forgiven me, and neither of us will ever forget it.....period. It's just something that you have to work through, together to get past.......I fully understand the work that Mr./Mrs. Edwards will have to put in now if they intend to keep their marriage alive.

As far as trust goes, right now I can't see your join date, but I've been a member here since 2003.....yet there was a period of time during 2006-2007 that I was not here. The only time I was allowed online, with him watching me, was to check my emails, and then only because we have some friends and family and business contacts with whom we communicate mostly via email. I willingly (sort of) gave up all online and most outside contact with anyone for a long period of time, just to prove to him that I was not still out looking and doing....building the trust, I should say?
Exactly! I commend you, as being on the other side of it...to put it simply, you have a trust bank, and it takes a while to build that bank back up, and it is hard and BOTH persons have to work on it, but it can be done.
post #32 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenKrazy View Post
Ahhh, see ..thats where someone who truly loves you and a marriage counsellor comes in. It has taken a lot of work, on both my part and his to get back to a point where he trusts me, we both know that he may never, ever fully trust me again, and that's something that I will always regret and have to live with. If he didn't truly love me (funnily enough, that's one reason things happened, I was convinced that he no longer did love me), he could never have forgiven me, and neither of us will ever forget it.....period. It's just something that you have to work through, together to get past.......I fully understand the work that Mr./Mrs. Edwards will have to put in now if they intend to keep their marriage alive.

As far as trust goes, right now I can't see your join date, but I've been a member here since 2003.....yet there was a period of time during 2006-2007 that I was not here. The only time I was allowed online, with him watching me, was to check my emails, and then only because we have some friends and family and business contacts with whom we communicate mostly via email. I willingly (sort of) gave up all online and most outside contact with anyone for a long period of time, just to prove to him that I was not still out looking and doing....building the trust, I should say?
I am glad you guys are able to heal from this and stay together. I applaud your honesty about this issue. I really think being open about our mistakes is how we heal. I would have forgiven my husband had it not been for other issues.
When I was a teenager we found out my father was having an affair. I was so angry and I wanted my mother to leave him. She told me that it is not that easy and there are issues I didn't understand at that age. She forgave him and they are close again. It took time. Now I understand.
Some bonds are so strong and there is enough good stuff worth saving so the couple can make it work.
post #33 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renovia View Post
I know I couldn't live with that, on either end of the situation. I couldn't live with the guilt, it would eat away at me. I also couldn't live with my husband always looking over my shoulder checking to see what I'm doing.


For us, me I guess, that's the hardest part.....where he has forgiven me, even though he still has his "insecure" days, and he no longer watches me like a hawk......I have had more trouble forgiving myself for breaking that trust, and for hurting him as badly as I did......some days I wonder if I ever will.
post #34 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renovia View Post
I think it's disgusting.....
And I think it's awful that some media is just trying to brush this off as 'he made a mistake, he's human, they're reconciling'......if this was a republican they would be eaten alive.
I disagree - McCain dumped his first wife for a 20-something who was also the daughter of a wealthy, politically "blessed" beer magnate from AZ, and he's doing pretty darn good so far....the first wife, who was recovering from disfigurement in a car accident, has managed to forgive him, and so has bout everyone else
post #35 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenKrazy View Post
HEY THIS catfolks kittenkrazy's hub yes it can be hard BUT DON'T judge either one
untill you know all the facts and understand the misunderstandings of a couple
in their everyday lives.

Catfolks
That is soooo true!!!! Life is not a simple black and white. And for those who chose to find the courage to forgive, forget, heal and love again...
post #36 of 46
If you love someone enough to forgive them and give them a second chance, or they, you, I sincerely respect that and wish you both the best. That is absolutely between the two of you.

Politicians need to prove to the public that they can be trusted. Although it is a private matter, cheating on their spouse proves the opposite to me. Just IMO.
post #37 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenKrazy View Post
Sorry......but I take a tad of offense to this
Honey, I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you personally. I wasn't, and I wasn't attacking anyone that actually has been in that situation. I was talking about whether or not it affected their ability to lead.

I take marriage vows very seriously and so does my husband. BUT, I do realize we are human and who knows what will happen down the road. If my husband cheated on me, it would be very hard to forgive him, but I would try and I'm pretty sure it would go the same way.

I still can't change my opinion about cheating. I'm sorry.

But, the post was about whether or not it should affect his career, not about your personal life.
post #38 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Honey, I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you personally. I wasn't, and I wasn't attacking anyone that actually has been in that situation. I was talking about whether or not it affected their ability to lead.

I take marriage vows very seriously and so does my husband. BUT, I do realize we are human and who knows what will happen down the road. If my husband cheated on me, it would be very hard to forgive him, but I would try and I'm pretty sure it would go the same way.

I still can't change my opinion about cheating. I'm sorry.

But, the post was about whether or not it should affect his career, not about your personal life.
Lol, I really didn't take it that personally, although it is a tender spot to me, I really wasn't that pleased with myself for having sullied my reputation in the first place, y'know? As for your opinion, I'd probably think lower of you if it did change, because it is a good one to have.
post #39 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenKrazy View Post
It has taken a lot of work, on both my part and his to get back to a point where he trusts me, we both know that he may never, ever fully trust me again, and that's something that I will always regret and have to live with.
That's great that you worked through it and were able to stay together! I just want to add that I do not think any less of you as a person, I would only have an issue if I was married to you
post #40 of 46
At this point, I'd be a lot more concerned about the apparently over $1,000,000 that have been paid to the mistress and the campaign worker who fell on his sword for Edwards.
post #41 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
At this point, I'd be a lot more concerned about the apparently over $1,000,000 that have been paid to the mistress and the campaign worker who fell on his sword for Edwards.
I want to be shocked but I am not. I don't even know why it is a public story now that he is not running anymore. He has loads of money so he is set for life. Now it is time for him to go home and lead a quiet unremarkable life.
post #42 of 46
Well, he WAS hoping for VP or a cabinet spot in an Obama administration. Can you imagine if this had come up in the middle of October, with him on the ticket?

And as far as the money is concerned, there is some evidence some of it was campaign money, and therefore this is a violation of the law, not just an indiscretion. Can you imagine this coming up when he was undergoing confirmation hearings as Attorney General?

And most of all, it's a big deal because he touted his "family values" as a candidate. This shows he was being completely hypocritical when he did that.
post #43 of 46
Yeah I agree.
It shows, if nothing else, a level of entitlement. Why on earth have an affair when your career in politics is about to hit the stratosphere? This to me points to a lack of judgment on his part. Why can these men not zip it and go home to their wives.
He disappointed his following but worse, he disappointed his children. He thought of no one but himself. His wife needs no stress if she is going to have a chance to survive and instead she has to deal with this hoopla.
post #44 of 46
“I think this president has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter,†Edwards said in 1999. “It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen.â€
post #45 of 46
ok let me get this right.
some people are shocked that edwards cheated on his wife?

the guy is
1) lawyer
2) A ambulance Chasing lawyer.
3) A ambulance Chasing lawyer politician.
4) A ambulance Chasing lawyer politician. who channels the spirits of dead girl...

and we are shocked he cheated lol, i would be willing to bet it was not the first nor will it be the last.
post #46 of 46
KittenKrazy, your honesty impresses me. Thank you for helping us to remember that this can happen...we are all fallible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenKrazy View Post
For us, me I guess, that's the hardest part.....where he has forgiven me, even though he still has his "insecure" days, and he no longer watches me like a hawk......I have had more trouble forgiving myself for breaking that trust, and for hurting him as badly as I did......some days I wonder if I ever will.
Not being able to forgive yourself...my hope for you is that you will find a way. Sometimes we all make horrible mistakes, that affect those we love. I pray that you will be able to forgive yourself, and trust yourself in time.

As for the politicians who cheat...bah! I have no sympathy for them! But the individuals that I have known in real life who dealt with infidelity in a marriage...I saw sincere humilty and the ability to turn away from that behavior. And the ability to work things out with the spouse, and come to a point of forgiveness.

I kinda feel sorry for Elizabeth Edwards to have this all brought up again, and to have her kids hear about it at school. Poor family!
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