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Smokey, Im so sorry. I should have tried harder.

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I am devastated. Here is the story. I volunteer at the SPCA, but now with work and my new puppy I don’t have time to go everyday so whenever I go I only play with my boy Smokey. Smokey was an 8 year old, long haired, unique looking cat. He was black, but his roots were white. He was a crusty old boy though and while being loving, he could become aggressive.

I knew he would never be adopted because of his crustyness. Almost everyone at our SPCA has kids when they adopt and I guess most parents don’t want biting cats. I don’t mind biting cats, I grew up with a crusty cat and I loved her to death and learned when she got irritated to just leave her alone… simple… I wish more people would learn that.

He just didn’t like to be touched that much and would bite. I would leave him alone and he would be fine. I would talk to him softly and he would look at me lovingly and knead his paws until he was ready to be pat again and would sit on my lap… until he got crusty lol it was an ongoing cycle.

For a month I have been in the process of trying to convince my boyfriend this cat needs us. He didn’t believe me and thought he would get adopted… well I should have tried harder… my boyfriend is a huge suck, he would have given in.

I noticed two days ago Smokey wasn’t on the website anymore and my heart dropped. I knew he was put to sleep. My boyfriend tried to reassure me but it didn’t help.

Last night we went to our volunteer committee meeting (we are in charge of all things volunteer and work with the directors to get things done) I asked about Smokey and they said they put him to sleep because he bit a kid…. I heard my boyfriend inhale deeply in shock and I felt like I was going to bawl.

I’m sorry I didn’t try harder my cute angry boy… I should have known. Be known that at least one person cried for your death. You were loved by at least one person. I am so sorry Smokey and I hope you are in a better place.
post #2 of 19
Awwww, I am so sorry about Smokey RIP Sweet boy
post #3 of 19
Poor sweet Smokey. Rest in peace, darling boy and know that you were loved.

post #4 of 19
Rest in Peace, Smokey.

You did give him kindness in his life. Remember that.
post #5 of 19
So sorry that happened.
Do not blame yourself you tried.
post #6 of 19
((((( Hugs and )))))))

Please dont beat yourrself up your a good person , give yourself an interal break
post #7 of 19
Rest in peace Smokey.

I am so sorry that happened to you. It is NOT your fault. Kinda horrible that he was PTS because of that... really angers me.
post #8 of 19
Rest in peace Smokey.
post #9 of 19
I'm so sorry. Rest in Peace Smokey.
post #10 of 19
i'm so sorry to hear this...
for Smokey...
post #11 of 19
Oh that's terrible.. I'm so sorry Smokey was PTS because of that. Don't blame yourself, I'm sure Smokey knew that you loved him.

Sweetheart Smokey
post #12 of 19
i'm so sorry. what a horrible thing to happen to him.

it was not your fault. you loved smokey.

RIP smokey. play happily across the bridge.
post #13 of 19
Poor baby Have a wonderful time at the bridge Smokey

post #14 of 19
Thread Starter 
I know I shouldn’t feel bad, but in a way it is sort of my fault. I just didn’t want to step on my boyfriend toes by asking too much but I KNEW in the back of my mind this would happen… I knew… So I should have tried harder. My boyfriend would have gotten over it and learned to love him as he does our boys now (all of which he didn’t really want).

Thanks so much for all of your support. Poor, poor Smokey. I don’t understand why they put him down. So he bit a kid, ya that’s bad, but parents, teach your kids how to handle animals and they wont get bit. Smokey died for nothing. He died because I didn’t have the strength to stand up and convince my boyfriend it would be the right move and because some stupid parents probably let the kid squeeze him, or hold him too much after he growled (he always growled first).

This will not happen again, I feel so horrible about this. Such a senseless death.

Thanks so much all. You guys are the best.

Just an FYI I’m sorry if I never gave kind words to others in the “over the Bridge†thread. I’ve tried to read it twice and cried both times at work (be known that I am not a quiet cryer…at all). I now try and stay away from it. But be known every time I see a new thread my heart goes out to you.
post #15 of 19
Originally Posted by AlleyGirl View Post
Poor sweet Smokey. Rest in peace, darling boy and know that you were loved.

I can't say it any better than that.
post #16 of 19
RIP Sweet One

Don't blame yourself
post #17 of 19
don't you dare blame yourself or harbour any guilt!! you showed him regular & unconditional love & that is priceless. don't waste time thinking 'what if???' i have many of these with cats i wish i would have pushed harder to own. at the end of the day you have to know that you can't take everyone home - as much as you may want to. i can only imagine how devastated you are - you have my deepest sympathies. just think - there's another little terror sitting in the cattery who would love to have a cuddle from you, so you should go & find him
post #18 of 19
I'm sorry you lost your crusty guy. I'm sure he appreciated your love everytime you talked to him.

Feeling guilty won't help him now. Turn that guilt into being kind to other crusty boys and girls that are misunderstood. They need you.
post #19 of 19
Im sorry about your sweet little crusty Smokey, you gave him something that no one else on this earth did though, Love! You showed him love when no one else knew how, what a wonderful gift you gave him! He'll be watching you, and Im sure he wouldn't want you to be so sad, he knew you loved him!
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