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I hate to give my cat away!! Please help.

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I have 9 cats. They are constantly fighting with Marge, who has been peeing all over the place for a few months now. She's peed on my new countertop, on the kitchen table (I've learned to keep cheap Dollar Store plastic tablecloths on it, and trash them each time), in the water dishes, on the floor, etc. This happens at last once a day. I thought I had the problem solved when I put a litter box indoors, near her hiding place. She will sometimes use it, but I think the other cats ambush her there, so we're back to square one (the other boxes are in the garage, accessed via a cat door in the laundry room--no, we don't keep the cars in there, so the cats are in no danger. We just use it as a storage room/litter center). I think her peeing is due to her WANTING to use a litter box, but being afraid to get there, so I think she holds her bladder all day, and just goes wherever she is (she poops under the hall table, where she constantly hides). I feel sorry for her, but also am fed up with all of this--I have enough housework to do (with 8 others!), plus it's DISGUSTING, especially in the kitchen (I have to keep sheets of plastic on the counters, and also, when I leave the house, place a variety of boxes up there, as a deterrent to keep her off the counter--she will pee on the plastc, as well). This has been going one since December 2007.

DH and I are thinking about giving her to a good home--it would have to be someone we knew, not a shelter--but I love Marge, and it's breaking my heart to consider this. Please, any ideas????? I thought we could keep her in the guest room, which is a good size, and gets lots of sunlight (3 windows to look out!). The floor is vinyl tile (it doubles as a sewing/craft room). I thought I could keep her food, water and litter in there with her in the day, let her out in the evening, and she could go back in there overnight. It's not for punishment; I think she may be happier away from the other cats. This is the room we quarantine new arrivals in, so ther're lots of space for 1 cat--but I just feel cruel locking her in a room all day.

Thanks!
post #2 of 16
IMO you do what you feel is best for your household and your cat. I'm not gonna condone you if you feel she would be better off as an only cat or maybe one other cat. I've have situations where I had to place some of my cats sooner then I wanted because they were just unhappy in the house.

Sometimes we just don't want to let go, even if its for the best of the animal. If you can find her a loving home, do so.
post #3 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
IMO you do what you feel is best for your household and your cat. I'm not gonna condone you if you feel she would be better off as an only cat or maybe one other cat. I've have situations where I had to place some of my cats sooner then I wanted because they were just unhappy in the house.

Sometimes we just don't want to let go, even if its for the best of the animal. If you can find her a loving home, do so.
I agree with what she said... we recently adopted a kit named Grace ... she was not a good fit when we got her home and was miserable.... so we had to take her back to the shelter ... where btw she is very happy.

The other kit that we adopted at the same time as Grace ... we were told she was going to be difficult and to feel free to bring her back. She has turned out to be so loving and such a good kit .

my point being is you have to do what best for you and your kit.
post #4 of 16
Starting to look for a new home might not be a bad idea, but in the meantime, maybe try out giving her her own room first! Put some toys in there and a cat tree, as well as her food, water, and litter, and make sure you visit her often!

Had a thought as I was typing: Another option (if she doesn't like being cooped up in one room - she may not mind!) is that I believe there are cat doors that are activated via a sensor and transmitter on the cat's collar. You could give her the room as just hers (the other cats wouldn't be able to activate the cat door) and perhaps having a safe place would help! That way, she could have access to the rest of the house if she wanted it, but have a haven to go to if the other cats get too much for her - as well as her own litter box.
post #5 of 16
9! Dear heavens do you have 25,000 sq feet abode? Cats like territory, even more then some of us humans do. I mean look at florida panther going existent as he keeps getting run over by new highways looking for his own peace and quiet from other cats and people. Maybe you have the setup for this, like 8 rooms, shelters or massive acreage but if not any cat showing signs of urination or behavior issues this has to be on very top of the list for reasons why unfortunately.
post #6 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by madara View Post
9! Dear heavens do you have 25,000 sq feet abode? Cats like territory, even more then some of us humans do. I mean look at florida panther going existent as he keeps getting run over by new highways looking for his own peace and quiet from other cats and people. Maybe you have the setup for this, like 8 rooms, shelters or massive acreage but if not any cat showing signs of urination or behavior issues this has to be on very top of the list for reasons why unfortunately.
We don't have a ton of space, but we do have 2 spare rooms. The "cat" room is about 13x14, with only a bed up against the wall, a dresser, and a tiny desk, and armchair (the cats love to sleep on that). When we quarantined Hobbes, he actually seemed to really like it in there--and that's when DH and I shared the room, as a craft room (we moved HIm into his own den, the other space room). Hobbes is another of our cats who would prefer solitude. The "cat" room (the guest room) is a very nice room--3 windows, lots of sunlight, warm in winter; cool in summer. She'd have a great view of the street. She may be territorial, but she's certainly not enjoying it now. She spends her days hiding under furniture, creeping out (literally) whenI come home from work. She's at the age where she sleeps a lot, not plays--in the "cat" room, she'd had plenty of nice things to sleep on, and under. I really think it's an issue of the others beating her up (she always has fresh cuts on her face, and I see them chasing her all the time). She's simply afraid to crawl to the litter box. She sometimes uses it if I stand guard.
post #7 of 16
Poor thing is very frightened, and I think rehoming her isn't a bad option. She's stressed out by all the other cats, and keeping her in that environment may turn it into a lifetime habit.

Good luck
post #8 of 16
I have 7 cats and an ornary old dog. I can understand what you are saying. I don't have the experience of most here but will offer my thoughts in hopes that it will help.

You say this started in Dec 2007. I know you have probably gone over any changes great or small that may have ocurred from that point. Worth a try to think about what may have started things.

You loose nothing by trying her in her own room for a time to see how she does. Litterbox and food far away from each other. You have her great places to nap and watch the world go by from the window. She will sleep most of the time as you mentioned. Sounds like a good deal for her. You never know if rehoming may upset her more and intensify the problem. Depends on the home enviroment and how she adjusts.

See how she does in her room and re-evaluate after a time. Also, making sure no medical problem is contributing. I have heard (unsure of truth) that cats will take advantage, pick on, a weaker sick or older cat. She will help you figure this out. Best of luck.
post #9 of 16
There's no harm in trying her in the spare room! She's already miserable, by the sounds of it. I can't imagine her taking it any worse! I'm guessing she may even see it as a reprieve!

Poor Marge! It's not easy being the outcast of the group!
post #10 of 16
I've dealt with an aggressive cat who wants to be an only cat. I've tried several times to place her, with no success.

I've used Resuce Remedy & Feliway with success. She pretty much lives by herself...and she's happy. It can be done.
post #11 of 16
I don't see any mention of you having taken her to the vet. If you haven't, you must have a vet examine her to see if she has a urinary tract infection or other bladder problem. That's always the first step with this problem... and if it's medical, giving medication and cleaning the areas where she's been peeing with enzymatic cleaner should resolve the problem.
post #12 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmylou View Post
I don't see any mention of you having taken her to the vet. If you haven't, you must have a vet examine her to see if she has a urinary tract infection or other bladder problem. That's always the first step with this problem... and if it's medical, giving medication and cleaning the areas where she's been peeing with enzymatic cleaner should resolve the problem.

She's been to the vet a couple of times. There's no problem. I've tried the enzymes stuff over and over--doesn't work in my house.
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skimble View Post
I have 7 cats and an ornary old dog. I can understand what you are saying. I don't have the experience of most here but will offer my thoughts in hopes that it will help.

You say this started in Dec 2007. I know you have probably gone over any changes great or small that may have ocurred from that point. Worth a try to think about what may have started things.

You loose nothing by trying her in her own room for a time to see how she does. Litterbox and food far away from each other. You have her great places to nap and watch the world go by from the window. She will sleep most of the time as you mentioned. Sounds like a good deal for her. You never know if rehoming may upset her more and intensify the problem. Depends on the home enviroment and how she adjusts.

See how she does in her room and re-evaluate after a time. Also, making sure no medical problem is contributing. I have heard (unsure of truth) that cats will take advantage, pick on, a weaker sick or older cat. She will help you figure this out. Best of luck.

I think I know what precipitated this. We let the 3 (male) foster cats out of quarantine then (long story; they ended up being FELV +, and were unadoptable, so we kept them--the 3 vets said it was ok, as our "real" cats all had their vax, and were older). The funny thing is, it's mainly one of the "real", original cats that's really annoying (Willi) her. He never was aggressive before; very docile and sweet--and always got along with her--but suddenly turned on poor Marge. However, the other 3 males (former fosters) are big Maine Coons, and think chasing Marge is fun--though I don't think they actually ever fight with her, but she's scared of them. We can't give them up--and don't want to, so poor Marge is stuck here.

BTW, I have taken her to the vet for check-ups, shots, etc. She's very healthy. I also take the other guys regularly, too--though it costs an arm and a leg! (The only one, who is one of the FELV+ guys, doesn't, though--he is almost IMPOSSIBLE to catch--he's very leery of humans. We do de-worm and flea-treat him, though. Despite this, he seems the picture of health--a beautiful, lynx-like Maine Coon mix boy.) I will try in the near future, now that he's a bit more accustomed to me, to get him in for a check-up.

We tried the room thing last night, and today. I kept getting up during the night to check on her; she must've been sleeping soundly in there--I heard no noise. She used her litter box. I just got home, and opened the door, but the others ran in, and she's under the chair now. We're letting her come out all evening, then put her back in there overnight, and in the daytime. I've been worrying about her all day, when I was at work! I couldn't wait to get home, and let her out--I HATE keeping a pet locked in a room! I feel so mean.
post #14 of 16
I understand what you are saying about keeping the others. You are doing the best you can for everyone. Let her be your guide to judge how things are going. Give her time and let her make that space hers. She will let you know if she is unhappy. The security of the room when you are away is probably a comfort to her.

I don't know if this will help. It may benefit sometimes when you get home to switch places. Let her out and put everyone else in her room for a short time. Then let everyone have free roam and put her back in her safe room when you need to. That helps mix up everyones scent without any threats....even though they mean no harm in playing chase. One of my kittens is like Marge. He doesn't like to be chased and is fearful of the others and they are littermates. He finds a quiet room with a window when he wants to get away from all the hoop-la going on. Give her time to build some confidence in her room and see how it goes. She is probably thanking you. She has her meowmy to love and some quiet time.
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoeysmom View Post
There's no harm in trying her in the spare room! She's already miserable, by the sounds of it. I can't imagine her taking it any worse! I'm guessing she may even see it as a reprieve!

I agree. It sure wouldn't hurt to give it a shot at this point, if you want to keep her.

I had the same problem with my Geronimo terrorizing poor Gabriel when I first brought Geronimo home. He was bound & determined to make poor Gabriel's life miserable. Once he got neutered, he quit being such a brat. But before I had him neutered, I set up a room for Gabriel, so he could have peace, and his own space. He was quite content in his own little world.

It's worth a shot, if you want to keep Marge. I think she would be all right, and quite content to have her own "space". She wouldn't feel threatened anymore, either - and she'd have a safe haven. You'll be able to tell if she's unhappy, and if she is, then you might want to consider re-homing her. I know it would be a difficult thing to do, but if you found her a good home with someone you know & trusted, you could always go and visit her.

I hope everything works out for you & everyone else!

~KK~
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skimble View Post

I don't know if this will help. It may benefit sometimes when you get home to switch places. Let her out and put everyone else in her room for a short time. Then let everyone have free roam and put her back in her safe room when you need to. That helps mix up everyones scent without any threats....even though they mean no harm in playing chase. One of my kittens is like Marge. He doesn't like to be chased and is fearful of the others and they are littermates. He finds a quiet room with a window when he wants to get away from all the hoop-la going on. Give her time to build some confidence in her room and see how it goes. She is probably thanking you. She has her meowmy to love and some quiet time.
I think that's a very good idea!
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