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Over here, in the equal insults corner

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Felt it only fair to dig up the "How to be a Good Republican"

Now remember, these are not my statements. And to show I am really being a good sport, I'll tell you that on my voter registration, the Republican box is the one that's checked.

How To Be A Good Republican

by Ann Richards

1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush,.. but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that someone like Michelle Pfeiffer can really walk into an inner city classroom and accomplish miracles.

5. AIDS victims deserve their disease,... but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

6. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

7. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says.

8. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

9. You have to believe God hates homosexuality,.. but loves the death penalty.

10. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities,... but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes!

11. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

12. You have to believe in prayer in schools,... as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

13. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

14. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

15. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

16. You have to be against government interference in business,.. until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke... and you beg for a government bail out.

17. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

18. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

19. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

20. You only wanted Elian Gonzalez to stay in this country in order to peeve the President.
post #2 of 6
Deb, you keep beating me to the punch! A kind person sent me the link to these, and I hadn't gotten around to posting them yet.

All's fair in politics, and it is only fair to present both sides.

And these are just as rediculous as the Democrats one I posted earlier!
post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 
We gotta ruffle all the feathers equally, or else you have a lop-sided bird!
post #4 of 6
I'm thinking about printing both lists and framing them, with a little plaque saying "Partisan Politics". I love the bit about ruffling feathers, by the way.
post #5 of 6
Isn't it amazing how politicians are the SAME everywhere in the world?
post #6 of 6
They're a special breed.
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