or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › My biological clock is ticking....LOUDLY!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

My biological clock is ticking....LOUDLY!

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
I know that I am still young-23 in September but I am getting married next July to a man I have been with for 5 and a half years and I have previously stated that we could not have children right now due to financial stability.....

HOWEVER.....

I just got home from my office manager's house. She just had a little boy-Garrett Daniel-on July 14. He is the CUTEST MOST PRECIOUS baby EVER! Practically my nephew since I was with his mom EVERYDAY ALL DAY the whole nine months, I could be a little biased.

My biological clock is now on FULL BLAST and I just cannot wait to have kids. Working in a day care for 2 years did not help either. I thought it would be the best birth control EVER working with 24 three year old children. Nope, not quite. Just made me want them more.....

SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT OFF MY CLOCK!
post #2 of 27
Where's that snooze button!? Enjoy your marriage. It'll be better if you do wait until your both ready.
post #3 of 27
Talk it over with hubby - IMO its better to get to know your spouse in the first few years before bringing a child into the picture. Too many marriages break up in the first few years and most of them have kids involved. Not a good thing for the kids!
post #4 of 27
Thread Starter 
We have lived together for 3 years already....just waiting to make it official. We already enjoy each other's company. He says a few years and I agree but I want them so badly!!!
post #5 of 27
Living together is one thing, being married officially is another. Sometimes things change once the papers are signed. I hope not with you all

We ask this question to anyone getting married.

"Can you picture yourself and him/her together AND being happy in the next 40,50, 60 yrs?" If you can, then its the right person. If you cannot picture being married and happy with this person for a LONG time - don't marry them.

Case in point (DH's brother) - he dated this woman for a few months (after he was out of prison). Things seemed pretty good, but we warned them to get to know each other a lot better then just the physical side.....they didn't listen. She became a snake and untrusting as soon as the papers were signed - she could not stand for him to talk to any other woman! I'm serious. She delivered divorce papers to him on his birthday less then a year later!
post #6 of 27
Man, when you figure out how to quiet or snooze that clock, let me know!!

I've wanted them forever, and it's been hard enough trying to ignore it when I was your age and in your situation... Now I'm married and ready and raring to go, but I can't until I get this stupid genetic testing done and the hospital is taking FOREVER!! Or so it seems... I'm hoping by Sep we can start trying!!

But, enough thread hijakcing!! Sorry!

Congrats on your new "practical" nephew! He sounds precious! And, though it may make your ticking even louder (I know you said it does, and it does for me, too!!), at least he'll be a good fix until you are ready.

And, you obviously understand how important it is to be "ready" in ALL aspects of the word before having kids- so you will be a great mommy when the time comes! Don't worry, waiting only gets harder as it gets closer! The best way to snooze it for me is to tell yourself that you ARE being a mommy, and a great one, to your future kids, by waiting to have them... Does that sound cheesey? Ah well! That's what I did / am doing.
post #7 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelongsToEvie View Post
Man, when you figure out how to quiet or snooze that clock, let me know!!

I've wanted them forever, and it's been hard enough trying to ignore it when I was your age and in your situation... Now I'm married and ready and raring to go, but I can't until I get this stupid genetic testing done and the hospital is taking FOREVER!! Or so it seems... I'm hoping by Sep we can start trying!!

But, enough thread hijakcing!! Sorry!

Congrats on your new "practical" nephew! He sounds precious! And, though it may make your ticking even louder (I know you said it does, and it does for me, too!!), at least he'll be a good fix until you are ready.

And, you obviously understand how important it is to be "ready" in ALL aspects of the word before having kids- so you will be a great mommy when the time comes! Don't worry, waiting only gets harder as it gets closer! The best way to snooze it for me is to tell yourself that you ARE being a mommy, and a great one, to your future kids, by waiting to have them... Does that sound cheesey? Ah well! That's what I did / am doing.
Makes a whoooole lotta sense to me!

I can't picture my life WITHOUT Travis and without being happy. I know that I will grow old with him and have kids....when we ARE really truly ready.
post #8 of 27
Sounds good to me
post #9 of 27
Don't hit the snooze button - turn off the clock! Seriously, you are 23. You have lots of child rearing years ahead of you. Have fun first. Take time for you and future DH alone. If you have been together for 5 years and you are 23, you were around 18 when you met. When I was 16, I started going out with the first love of my life who is 2 years older than me. He asked me to marry him and I accepted. He was in college. I went away to college. It can be absence makes the heart grow fonder or outa sight outa mind. For us it was the latter.

My biological clock went off after - yes after - DH, not outa sight, and I were married. I was approaching a significant birthday which was not 25. I got pregnant right away and our daughter is one of the joys of our lives. Another significant birthday came up and our son was born.

In those first years when we were married, DH and I really got to know each other and to know that we were going to stay together and that we wanted to have a family.

Take some time for yourselves. Babies are so wonderful but such a handful.
I wouldn't trade them for anything, but we both knew that children do change your lives and relationships.

23 is so young and you are not married yet.
post #10 of 27


Wait a while before the children, but for now, treasure your fur-kids!
post #11 of 27
Those clocks are hard to silence!

I say when your ready your ready....even if you are 23. We've been together seven years, married for three and aside from the past 9 months or so () we've spent those years exploring ourselves and each other, running around, being completely irresponsible at times and learning to grow up together. We have a WONDERFUL marriage (I really don't know how I got so lucky) and could never imagine life any other way. This little boy is going to be the luckiest in the world to have such a wonderful and committed Daddy! A lot of people say we are "young for kids" but I think not. Josh's parents are the same age as my grandparents and he really feels like he missed out on a lot b/c his parents were well....tired. We wanted to have kids young so that we had the energy to spend all the time in the world with them.

If you know its right, its right. Age is just a number!!
post #12 of 27
Thread Starter 
I totally agree! Travis says in a few years-like 5-but I say when we are as financially ready as we can be, which will probably be the same time. I'm not saying that I want kids NOW but it's so hard to see these babies and NOT want kids......I just know that I have to have children. It's what I have wanted my whole life
post #13 of 27
Have you guys agreed on how many? That is just as important as the 1st one
post #14 of 27
Thread Starter 
I wanted three at first but the more level-headed of us-Travis-helped me agree on why 2 is best for us. Two it is
post #15 of 27
Aw hun, I know just how you feel. When the timing is right, you will both just know. It's hard when you want something and you can't have it yet. But be patient, 'cause it will be well worth the wait! I am almost 25 with no kids yet, but we are trying. But I do believe when it's meant to happen, it will happen. Hope all the best for you and your soon to be marriage. For now while you wait just enjoy each other.
post #16 of 27
This thread makes me laugh!

I am just the opposite. The more I am around the kids the less I want them! Maybe it is because they are disrespectful, spoiled little brats (which I blame on the parents, and not all are like that, but it seems like so many are!)...maybe ours swill be different? We have been married for a year now, and DH and I have always wanted kids! But now that we are married we are not so sure! It's like before when we said we wanted kids it was different b/c we were so far from the reality of having a child...and now that we are married it can happen, that scares the crap outta us!! ! And it seems the logical next step after marriage is kids...so now that it is a reality, thinking about having children is not as exciting as before. Maybe it's just because we are in no position right now (financially, physically, emotionally our with out maturity) to have kids so that makes us not want them??

Although I gotta say...I love my 2 year old nephew to death!!!
post #17 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by roxsam View Post
This thread makes me laugh!

I am just the opposite. The more I am around the kids the less I want them! Maybe it is because they are disrespectful, spoiled little brats (which I blame on the parents, and not all are like that, but it seems like so many are!)...
Hahah me too. I think i am the only girl in the world whos boyfriend will have to approach me for children....then after some therapy i will give in LOL. I can honesty say at 30 ive never had a ticking clock. My clock is on perma snooze everytime i see a screamy, drooly, wet, boogery kid. Ill take another puppy and kitten anyday though!
post #18 of 27
You guys are not alone in not wanting kids. Took me 5 yrs to decide if I really wanted one or not the way the world was going. I decided that one would be enough. I threw up for 9 months, had him in 2 1/2 hrs and he turned out to be a fine young man. Didn't want to rock the boat and get a whiney one so I stopped.

I like kids a few years older - you can keep babies
post #19 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
I like kids a few years older - you can keep babies
LOL i always say ill have a ton of kids.... as long as they come out 10ish years old
post #20 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by silvionc View Post
LOL i always say ill have a ton of kids.... as long as they come out 10ish years old
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
I like kids a few years older - you can keep babies
Yes to you both!! My whole life I have always said that when I had a baby I would give it a way for a few years until it was a lil older! Babies look like aliens to me and they are just so helpless! lol, sorry

Quote:
Originally Posted by silvionc View Post
My clock is on perma snooze everytime i see a screamy, drooly, wet, boogery kid. Ill take another puppy and kitten anyday though!
Exactly! LOL!
The less kids I have = the more animals!! (and more car stuff for DH!)

ah, who knows how we'll feel in a few years!

Ok, to the OP...it is hard wanting them so bad, bur I agree with everyone else...take your time, enjoy being newlyweds and adjusting to being newlyweds! (yes, it does take adjustment!). When the timing is right it will be all the more worth it! And yes, now you have your friend's little baby to help with
post #21 of 27
The snooze button

I can relate somewhat! My SO really wants kids and lots of them, but he's not the one who gets to choose how many babies I have to carry and give birth to Kids are great, but I just think about all the time I spend relaxing with the kitties in peace and quite

Don't believe every study you read without reading between the lines.....

*50% of all marriages end in divorce* the truth: those studies only count the number of marriages that took place that year and the number of divorces that took place that year. Those divorces happen to people that were just married that year, and ALL those other people that have been married for 50+ years. It's not a fair study at all.

*Those who lived together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce within the first 5 years of marriage* the truth, studies have shown that marriage often ends within the first 5 years. If a couple has lived together for a few years before getting married, doesn't that increase their chances of getting a divorce within five years? That's a total of 8 years together!

Studies can easily be changed to prove whatever you want them to prove if you leave details out. If you both love each other and care about each other that's all that matters. It's a partnership not just a marriage (some piece of paper)!
post #22 of 27
my biological clock got smashed a few years ago I have no desire to have children....so no I won't baby-sit, Courtney!!

you'll be great parents when you do decide it's time though
post #23 of 27
I know the feeling... except I'm 30 and I have only been dating my boyfriend for a few months. Still I can't shake up the feeling that I want kids, especially since I am not getting any younger

But I knew I was really in trouble the day I went to visit a friend who had just given birth. She told me all about her 27 hours of labor, the difficult delivery, the blood loss, etc. and it didn't scare me at all. I was still really jealous that she had such a precious little girl.
post #24 of 27
I will agree that statistics can be made for whichever side you are on. And they can't include the break ups of those living together, cause the people are not "divorced" on paper. It could be higher then 50%.

At our son's wedding this past weekend one of our nieces who have a 8 month old - he originally wanted 10 kids! (insane) - now when we question if he still wants a lot - you should see the look on his face - he didn't realize how demanding and time consuming one baby is
post #25 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-p View Post
I know the feeling... except I'm 30 and I have only been dating my boyfriend for a few months. Still I can't shake up the feeling that I want kids, especially since I am not getting any younger

But I knew I was really in trouble the day I went to visit a friend who had just given birth. She told me all about her 27 hours of labor, the difficult delivery, the blood loss, etc. and it didn't scare me at all. I was still really jealous that she had such a precious little girl.
Doesn't help in my situation. Lauren had Garrett in 8 hours-AND he was her first!
post #26 of 27
As if I wasn't antsy enough already about getting pregnant again... now there's this thread and a friend on another forums (who was using BC) and just found out it failed! Time to seduce DH again. and hope for the best.
post #27 of 27
I can relate a little I love kids, and when I was younger I wanted a big family. But the older I get, the more I realize that's just not a good idea, with the way things are.

But I definitely want one, possibly two, and I can't help but feel that little pang when I see a particularly cute little thing I'm only 25, and Jess and I will probably adopt once we get the house and get settled & stable, so I guess it's not really a biological clock I hear ticking.... but some sort of ticker is going, for sure
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › My biological clock is ticking....LOUDLY!