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Prayers & vibes for a missing feral

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
It's happened again! Another of my ferals has disappeared. He has been gone for 2 days. This cat was so friendly, he let me pet him every morning when I fed him... I just got Kitty Go Crazy and I put it out for him and he was playing so happily with it with one of the other ferals 3 days ago. Every time I opened the door he seemed to be on my porch. I don't understand why this keeps happening. I feel like I have betrayed all of the cats who have disappeared by making them feel like my yard was a safe haven for them. I am just feeling so down right now. What am I doing wrong? I know many of you have suggested a cat fence, but I just don't have the money for that right now... I try not to get attached to the feral cats but it's hard not to. I miss him and I want him to come home...

I am curious about your feral colonies. Have you lost any/many? Or do they usually pretty much stay around? By the way he was neutered so he wouldn't leave to look for a female.

Please send prayers and vibes for the safe return of this little one.

Thanks
post #2 of 19
You are not doing anything wrong! Your only problem is a big heart and caring soul.

Without an enclosure, it's something we all experience. And it's always heartbreaking.

Sending lots of come home vibes!



Laurie
post #3 of 19
You're definitely not doing anything wrong. It's the nature of feral colonies, it seems. I TNR'd a young feral male in my neighborhood in March and he's been missing for well over a month now. I'm hoping for the best, but fearing the worst.

Sending lots of vibes for your feral boy.
post #4 of 19
It's so hard to know what our ferals and strays are doing when they're not with us. My group is in the garden of the apartment building I live in, but if you go out during the day you would never know they exist. They just disappear. I often wonder where they are hiding.

I've had several just disappear. A little girl I called Honey. A wonderful white boy -- the pride of the whole building. Several that I think returned to families that cared for them, while they just came for the delicious canned food.

One was gone for ten days and reappeared with a big spot of ringworm.

It's hard, I know. I've cried, too. Hang in there, you are doing all you can and that's a lot more than most would do. It's God's work.
post #5 of 19
I think you sometimes have to accept their freedom of being able to leave you. I heard some animal leave for reasons. Some of them just move on to new better place, some of them move on because their job was done. They are gone that does not mean they are dead.
I never see 2 of my 4 ferals I took care of during the winter inside of my house.
They just didn't like human even though they were purring when I petted them.
I was so heartbroken when they disappeared and contacted animal communicator.
Having to know that they are doing well and they left on their own will comforted me.

You are doing right thin. Don't be too hard on yourself!!
post #6 of 19
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your kind words. They mean alot to me.
When I started TNR, I just didn't know how attached I would get to each cat. And watching them, you see all of their wonderfully different personalities, especially when they are playing.

What bothers me most is the fact that this cat was so friendly to me. I loved being greeted (at a distance, then a bit closer for a few pets on the head) every day and every evening when they got their second feeding. And he was so friendly with the youngest one. That little one followed him all around all day- now he seems a bit lost.

I noticed a few days ago that a family of raccoons have been visiting. Maybe that's why he left. It's scary when they all come to try to find food at once. I put the food away early though, so maybe they will soon realize that there is no food here for them.

I also live by a high school and I know that a few of them have managed to jump the fence to the school yard- maybe he got lost back there. Maybe he got picked up by someone...I'll keep looking and praying and keep you posted.

Many thanks again. I truly don't know what I would do without all of you wonderful people here at this site!
post #7 of 19
Prayers and vibes sent.
post #8 of 19
I know how hard it is to take. Unfortunately this is the hard part of TNR. We will lose kitties and have no idea what happened. Outdoor life is rough and that is why the average lifespan of these cats is 2 to 3 years.
It is a labor and love and some heartbreak. But you are giving those cats some love that they may never have experienced.
You didn't betray them. You gave them your heart and they know that.

post #9 of 19
Thread Starter 
Another one is gone! It's been four days since I have seen little Ashley. She was around for five years eating and sleeping in my yard. I don't even know if I should ask for prayers and vibes to get her home safely. I'm sorry, I know that they disappear but this quick, and without me seeing them ever again? I just don't understand. I had a colony of cats that was stable- saw the same ones every day and now they are leaving like flies.
And this is all since the neighbor who hates them has moved in...It's just funny, because when she was complaining about them she had asked who and why I couldn't call somebody to take them away and that she didn't believe TNR worked. I thought after talking to her that everything was okay. Maybe she found somebody who is trapping them...I don't know...I"m sorry I feel like I am going crazy- I have lost so many now...

Thanks for letting me vent again.
post #10 of 19
Awww Bless your heart Come home babies


We trapped 7 cats and we relocated them after spaying and neutering them to our new location, we kept them in a very large cage for a month, 5 have stayed and 2 went back to the old location
post #11 of 19
You could ask your neighbor if they have seen any of the cats. If they act fishy then you know something is up. If not then you can start looking in a different direction.
post #12 of 19
Oh Jil, my heart is just breaking for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would be very worried about that neighbor. When we were first trapping here, it was because they were going to put poison out to kill the cats! I am so paranoid about stuff like that now. I really hope she isn't trapping, having someone trap, or up to something more sinister. Or hurting them unintentionally by putting poison out for mice or rats - catching one that has ingested that but not died yet could kill a kitty too. I REALLY don't mean to scare you - but this is too much. I like CC12's advice - get calm, and go chat with her.



Have you taken pictures of your ferals? Maybe put out posters for your lost kitties, especially somewhere around the school?



Laurie
post #13 of 19
Thread Starter 
I guess I could give it a another try. In addition to being sad, I am angry and I really don't want to say anything that will hurt the situation any further if it is her. I had talked to her last summer and we had made the arrangement that I would check her garden every week - 2 weeks for any poop. I still do that. Most times I find nothing, occasionally though there is some...it is strange that she hasn't had a complaint this year...
I just don't know what to think...The guy on the other side is not happy with them either. I saw him throw a rock at one of the little guys the other day.
It's just unlucky that I live in an area that hates cats. And it doesn't help that the people who lived there before them didn't mind the cats so they are used to visiting their property. ( Although they are learning not to go there ).

There is also the possibility that I am totally wrong and they are going off on their own...it's just that in my heart I don't think so...

I will keep you posted. Thank you!
post #14 of 19
Aw.... I wish I could do more than just send vibes and hugs.





Laurie
post #15 of 19
Hi. I hate to ask this but the area where you are feeding your feral cats is there anyone that is opposed to them? This happened to me a few times, in both areas that I feed ferals. One man was trapping all the cats and dumping them (if not worse). He was a very nasty man, and definetly took at least 2 of my ferals, and the same thing happened last year, where the two mama ferals all of a sudden disappeared-he may have done it then too. We had the spca after him-because he was trying to trap ALL the cats in the area, ferals and outdoor cats that had owners. He was forced to release a third feral that was trapped in the cage when the spca arrived. ALso, in another area, I lost a friendly stray cat, and there are alot of nasty people who are not happy with feeding cats there. So yes, the elements are hard for the ferals, but when people actually work to try to harm them, it is horrible. Just stay aware and look around for any signs. Sometimes I have had ferals disappear for a few days and the reappear. Sometimes dogs may pass through or something that could scare the ferals and they may retreat for a while. In the meantime, will send out the good vibes that you find your ferals that are missing, because I know it is a horrible feeling when you don't see them when you normally would. Take care!!


post #16 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by nowonder View Post
Hi. I hate to ask this but the area where you are feeding your feral cats is there anyone that is opposed to them? This happened to me a few times, in both areas that I feed ferals. One man was trapping all the cats and dumping them (if not worse). He was a very nasty man, and definetly took at least 2 of my ferals, and the same thing happened last year, where the two mama ferals all of a sudden disappeared-he may have done it then too. We had the spca after him-because he was trying to trap ALL the cats in the area, ferals and outdoor cats that had owners. He was forced to release a third feral that was trapped in the cage when the spca arrived. ALso, in another area, I lost a friendly stray cat, and there are alot of nasty people who are not happy with feeding cats there. So yes, the elements are hard for the ferals, but when people actually work to try to harm them, it is horrible. Just stay aware and look around for any signs. Sometimes I have had ferals disappear for a few days and the reappear. Sometimes dogs may pass through or something that could scare the ferals and they may retreat for a while. In the meantime, will send out the good vibes that you find your ferals that are missing, because I know it is a horrible feeling when you don't see them when you normally would. Take care!!


I am lucky to live in a neighborhood that likes cats. Though I think Lucia was getting on some nerves. I fear people more than anything else. Most of the time things are alright but when they aren't...I don't want to scare you but I don't want you to think you are paranoid needlessly either.

Sending vibes.
post #17 of 19
JIL I think that that enough of your outside cats have gone missing
over the past year or two that with the troubles you have had with
your neighbors that I would say that it is very likely they are catching
them IMO.

You should start checking your local shelter every time a cat goes missing
and give them a picture of your missing cat(s) AND tell them the history of all
your missing outside cats and how your neighbors don't like them.

You should also have them check to see if any of your neighbors have signed
over any cats to them in the past two or three years.

If they are catching them and bringing them to the shelter and signing
them over you could get them back. IF they are saying that they are
their cats then thats against the law.

You should probably get the authorities involved at this point because I
don't think your neighbors are going to stop.

I send many prayers. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
post #18 of 19
Thread Starter 
Yes, I am sure that they are being taken away too. My biggest fear is that they are not going to the shelters, but are being dumped somewhere to fend for themselves. It breaks my heart when I think how they must feel...being taken away from their colony, a food source, their little cat houses and a loving caretaker.

When I have called/visited the shelters in the past, they have told me that they do not accept ferals. One place told me that they put cats to sleep within 3 days- Sometimes I don't know that that they are missing right away!

I can't believe that this keeps happening and we have not seen anything!! That makes me feel the worst. How can I not see anything every time? I have been having bouts of depression over this....

I haven't talked to any of the neighbors about it as suggested. I just can't. I am sick to my stomach over any person who could do this without any conscience. I know it's not an ideal situation having them around- but this is not the solution. I have explained TNR in the past and the cats are notched. They know they are being cared for...

If any more disappear I will follow your advice. I don't have current photos of all of them, so I will begin by taking photos. My question is this though: Will the authorities even care about disappearing cats?

As usual, Thank you to all of you. I think I would have gone crazy by now if not for your support.
post #19 of 19
also think about contacting alley cat allies to see if they have any kind of
a program where they could foot the bill for one of those kitty fences that
keeps cats in your yard. I just got some promo stuff on that that I sent
away for and it is expensive. But just like sometimes DDB will provide fencing
or whatever to help a dogs living conditions, maybe Alley Cat Allies OR
even try contacting the NYC ASPCA and see if they have any programs
or know of any programs out there for people who are trying to take care
of their feral colonies and keep them safe. You never know ..... give it a try.

good luck and prayers sent.
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