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what is something you wish you would have done....

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Is there anything you wish you would have done at your wedding that you didn't do and now regret?

For me it would be the fact that we didn't have a professional photographer...and also that we didn't get married where we wanted because my Father-In-Law is a preacher and fussed at us for not wanting to get married at his church because he felt that it would be like "giving the finger to the church" so in a way he guilted us in to it. What about you?
post #2 of 14
I wish I'd picked a different best man. A couple of my other groomsmen took me out for drinks a few days before the wedding, and I had to call the best man to ask if he wanted to chill with us. I forgot why, but he never showed up. Which is pretty typical of him and his fiancee whenever we invite them over...bah, who needs friends like that?

I also wish I'd had the chance to spend some time with old friends I rarely see. But I had to take so many pictures!
post #3 of 14
I wish I had slipped away before I got married instead of during the reception, and that I was tequila drunk when I got married. I sobered up enough by the reception, I realized what I had done and left. My brothers caught up with me 3 days later and took me home.
post #4 of 14
In retrospect, instead of saying "I do", I wish I would have listened to my inner doubts and said..."Nope, this isn't a good relationship! Get me outta here!!!"
post #5 of 14
I wish we had a different photographer. Rob's mom asked one of her friends to do it, and all she did was use a digital camera and a 35mm camera ... okay anyone could have done that! We wanted a different guy, a friend of ours who takes professional drag racing photos, to take them for us. He didn't think he'd be able to do it like we wanted (figuring a wedding and drag racing is way different .. but we both look back and realize he would have been perfect for the job & wished we insisted more) ... so we went with the other lady. She ended up annoying people to no end at our reception, and even said "OH, gotta leave now!" halfway through it!! Ugh.

I also wish we had a videographer or someone to just tape our wedding. It's kind of sad when I realize we wont have a wedding video to watch on anniversaries and stuff
post #6 of 14
Good thread! well we are getting married in 3 months as my siggy states, but its only a legal marriage. Next year we are renewing our vows.

I am slowly getting things together though

I would change a lot of things of the wedding we are going to have.
post #7 of 14
I wish I hadn't done it at all, of course, but aside from that... I wish I had involved my mom and my friends a little more. I had not yet been diagnosed, but I was deep in depression at the time, and very isolated. I had no shower, no engagement party, nothing... made my own rice bags... did my own hair and makeup... drove myself to the church... it was all done in a vacuum.
post #8 of 14
I wished I would have done things my way, instead of listening to everyone else.
post #9 of 14
As far as the ceremony went- i LOVED it, there is nothing i'd change about it really. We picked out everything from our vows to the music ahead of time and really had it planned out to a T what we wanted. My pastor was great and he didn't mind using the vows we wanted. Also even though it was a baptist wedding- i am part Jewish so it was extremly important to me to have the breaking of the glass in there -my pastor understood that, and was more than happy to preform that for us! (We also had a unity candle, blessing of the rings, and a rose ceremony.) Everyone loved the Rose Ceremony- i'd definitely suggest looking into it for those that our getting married. I loved the meaning behind it and the idea. I tweaked the words a bit so it wasn't so secular, and it fit really well into the religious part of the ceremony

I wish i would have had a different baker for the cakes. I let my mom have a job in the wedding and let her be in charge of the cakes and picking that out since it ment a lot to her. In hindsight i wish i never did that because she ment well, but picked a terrible bakery.

The idiots delivered my wedding cake- but did not even put in the topper i had left for them and then they FORGOT the groomscakes the day of the wedding and brought them in right as everyone was going into the reception! (they were supposed to be there 2 hours beforehand to set up) So yea i was pretty mad at how aweful they were. Before the wedding i met with them to tell them how i wanted the cake decorated and what size i wanted the polka dots/etc (it was a pretty simple one- cute small 3tier green with white polka dots). Well when i got to the reception, yes the cake was cute-but it was not at all how i had ordered it- the dots were all different sizes, not uniform like we had asked for (and paid for!) so i definitely would say make sure you find a good baker you can trust!! (I didn't complaine the day of because i was very happy just to be getting married and decided nothing was worth getting stressed out about or worked over just because something went wrong- so i didn't complaine or anything the day of....but yea, i was NOT happy with their shoddy work. They also didn't do the groomscakes right at all- they were supposed to be strawberry swirl cheesecakes with chocolate/caramel on top- well they made just regular cheesecakes and put whipped cream and some sort of strawberry jelly on top- not what we ordered or paid for!)

Also, don't order nearly as many favors as you think you'll need- they will not all get used i promise! I ordered bubbles, card bells, and made homemade rose sachets for each of the guest we had planned on attending (about 150 of each based on my guest list). You forget that not everyone stays to see you off, many guests leave beforehand- so you're stuck with tons of leftovers!! I wound up giving all of my leftovers to my friend Abby for her wedding -and she wound up having leftover from that

Also, make a small cake and practice cutting it at home and also practice toasting each other (with the entertwined arms). Colin and I goofed that up at the wedding a little- we had no idea what we were doing

Also- screen any sound technicians carefully! Our messed up our music during the rose ceremony- he was supposed to start it at the very beginnning so it was timed out right, but he forgot and didn't start until a few minutes into it- so the music didn't end until way after we were done We were standing up at the altar with the preacher trying soooo hard not to laugh our butts off, it was hilarious (that's one of those funny bloopers you look back on and laugh about though)

Get the most comfortable shoes you can find to wear to your wedding- you will be on your feet all day long and you don't want to be miserable on your wedding day!! I had planned to wear these gorgeous heels i had bought for the wedding (even had my dress altared to fit them) but my feet hurt soo bad when i put them on (and i did try to break them in ahead of time) - that even with padding i just didn't want to wear them all day. So since i had ordered ballet flats for the reception, i decided to just wear them during the wedding too. Nobody knew because my dress was so long- I was soo happy i chose to do that- i was comfortable the whole time!! (even though my dress was altared for heels- i didn't trip over it with flats on).

Plan for rain- have an alternate plan if you have an outdoor wedding or plan to have bubbles or roses through at your wedding on the way out. It poured down the day of our wedding- so we had to move all of the people to a covered area on the outside enterance to throw roses/blow bubbles/etc. It wound up being really cute though! (And even if it rains- make the most of it- our photographer got some really cute umbrealla shots of us on our wedding day - they're neat because you don't see a lot of wedding pictures like that -so it was kind of special!!!) Don't let a little rain ruin your big day- make the most of it if it happens!!!

Also have someone sneak you a little Vodka (or your posion of choice )Into the bridal room beforehand. Just a few sips will chill you out and get rid of some of those nerves (just don't have more than a few sips!!!) I remember sitting in the bridal room the whole time thinking "omg i need a drink!!!" and i didn't have one!!! My best friends mom brought the drink, but forgot the bottole opener

Make sure you have several people who know how to bustle your dress!!! None of my bridesmaids could figure my dress out- so my brother-in-law Jason (he's like a jack of all trades) wound up bustling mine It's was hilarious- he did a great job too!!!

Have someone open your wine or grape juice ahead of time so you don't have to open the bottle yourself at the table! and waste time pouring it!!

You won't need as many of those napkins with your name/wedding date on it as you think- i only ordered 200 - but i had over a box and a half left over I thought for sure everyone would use them, but hardly anyone did Same thing happend to my friend Abby at her wedding last month- only she's got about 400 left over

If you're wanting something unique for your wedding but you don't want a wet bar- consider a coffee bar!!! We weren't allowed to have alcohol in the church we got married in- but i knew an awesome guy from when i was designing (floral) that we used to do bridal shows with. He had a gourmet coffee bar/ catering company and the prices were great. EVERYONE loved it!! We got tons of compliments at the wedding- and the drinks were so cute! We had "wedding gown lattes" "tuxedo frapps." name it- it was such a huge hit!!! And also he did the catering too - we just did small finger foods since it was an afternoon wedding (the later your wedding, the more expensive the food costs get because people will expect a full meal!). We had finger sandwiches, rosemary chicken skeurs (sp?), and tons of other small Italian finger foods- it was great- and the price was awesome!!

Also if you get one of those picture frames that everyone can sign- put it out where everyone will see it!!! Put it by the guest book at the sign in table, not at the recpetion- people will leave early or forget to sign it if you do that.
post #10 of 14
LOL, I agree with having a small drink before the wedding! I was a nervous wreck...not about getting married but about walking down that loooong aisle and having everybody staring at me! My MOH said she would be repsonsible for bringing something to calm my nerves but then the day of the wedding, she decided it was a bad idea. I almost killed her! Especially after I found out my husband and his groomsmen basically had a tailgate party in the parking lot, plus my uncle (who gave me away) gave him a shot of crown royal! Nobody thought about the poor bride who was falling apart!

I also wish I had more time to spend with family and friends from out of town. When my cousin got married, my aunt had everyone from out of town over the morning after for breakfast and they opened the presents from the family then, and I thought that was really nice. But, most of them only came in for the day for our wedding so it was just the time I could spend with them at the reception.
post #11 of 14
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
I had no shower, no engagement party, nothing... made my own rice bags... did my own hair and makeup... drove myself to the church... it was all done in a vacuum.
I had no engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. Rob didn't have a bachelor party. We had a "couple's shower" at the bowling alley, where people on our league bought us gifts.

My mom did my hair & make up, but unfortunately didn't have much else to do with my wedding She was 3 hours away, and we didn't do a lot of the traditional wedding stuff. My MIL was more involved, and I almost had a breakdown dealing with her ... I wish MY mom had more to do with it too.

One of the other things I thought about changing would have been my dress. I bought it for $50 off a co-worker, because I was originally just going to look for a nice sun-dress-type thing. I had to get it seriously altered (it was an XL ... I'm 5'3, 100lbs ... a wee bit too big for me!) and even then, the lady didn't do a final fitting before the wedding, so it was loose around the center and my bra kept falling down while taking pictures The dress didn't look all that bad, everyone seems to like it too, but I probably could have put more thought into searching, in hindsight.

The main thing still is the pictures. Even Rob agrees with that one when we talk about it! Whenever we renew our vows, we'll do things we didn't do the first time around
post #12 of 14
They only thing I would have done differently was to get a videographer for the ceremony. The bride is in the back for the beginning so I didn't see anything Oh, and I would have picked a different groom

Ah! one more thing! I was so busy getting ready for the wedding that I didn't have time to eat and then when we got in the limo after the ceremony there was champagne, which I had 2 glasses of and then since my stomach was empty I almost puked during pictures so make sure you eat before drinking anything!!
post #13 of 14
Under the circumstances for our 2nd marriage there was a lot we wish we could have changed. But our marriage is solid, happy and God is in charge so it doesn't matter.

These are some of the things we would have changed:
1. Marriage IN the church (we plan on renewing our vows in the church to make it more "official"

2. A different witness for me (we had DH's brother and another SIL be the witness - the EX-SIL turned out to be a snake later...)

With first marriage the biggest thing I would have changed is the GROOM - to the one I have now!
post #14 of 14
First thing I would have done differently:

Gotten a better photographer!! Thing is we got the one we did b/c she is all I could afford! But maybe I should have skipped something else in order to afford a better one. We had SO many problems with ours photographer, she was an hour late, forgot to take very important pics( groom with his parents! she got no pics of them!!), she wouldn't give us what we paid for and what was in our contract(so we had to threaten a lawyer) and when we finally got our was HORRIBLE! I honestly went home and threw it away. The picture quality was so bad and she had so many pictures on one page that each pic was like 1" x 1" and you couldn't see any detail!

Second thing:
Had my sister is my wedding as a bridesmaid. We were not on talking terms for the year before (and 7 months after) my wedding. But looking back, I wish I would have had her in it might have helped problems between us. I did ask her to do a reading and she declined She got married in April, and we had just started talking again, and she did not have me in her wedding...and it felt like a huge blow to me. So now I know how she felt, even though we weren't talking we are still sisters!!!
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