Boo Education and Boo Healthcare: My family's in such trouble. (Long)

Because my 89 year Grandpa has money saved up for my education, Medicaid (Or medicare, whichever?) won't help him. According to them, they won't help him until he's completely used up his assets on her; and he will be disqualified for it if he gives me a gift to make himself eligible.

It is likely that I won't be able to go to school without a scholarship. He's been paying 5,000 a month to have my Grandmother properly cared for (which is more than both of my semesters, plus books, combined) and now medicaid won't help him because he has that money to pay for my college. Isn't that just great?

Baby Boomers: There is no security net. The government basically will NOT HELP YOU unless you are completely destitute. He can't give it to me as a gift to make himself poor, nope, that disqualifies him. And it's really stupid, because HE, HIMSELF, cannot care for her; she's completely demented. Seriously. She has very little idea who she is, who my mom is, I doubt she'd know who I am. Grandpa is not physically capable of taking care of her; he is very frail, she is very resistent to taking any of her medication, gets up and from my understanding tries to leave her own home, etc. On top of that, she's Type 1 Diabetic, which has been hard enough through their lives. He has been her caregiver for their entire marriage and now, as his own health and mind fails him, he cannot.

See, this is just insane.

When people who really need it can't get it.. there's a serious problem. Not without serious sacrifice for the rest of his family, including financial aid for my crippled mother and aunt who recently underwent life saving heart surgery, can he afford to get the proper care needed for the woman he has loved and for sixty plus years, on top of the fact that she doesn't seem to quite remember him fully (though she's still enough there to recognize him and whatnot) and has gone raving nuts. As if the emotional toll isn't enough.

So, at the sacrifice of my education and the help he's so graciously been providing for my mother and my aunt, he'll be able to pay for her to stay in a home.. for a couple more months with my school funding.. MAYBE. Three years of school for me = three months for her there.

Thank you those who say "Healthcare? Booooo!" and "Who cares about education (unless it's for THEIR kids)"? My family salutes you.

My Brother is driving my Mom to Kansas to talk to lawyers, but.. the scenario is grim.

Does anyone know anything about scholarships? I was going to look into them anyway, but.. the only program that I know about is the Miss America Pageants. Yes, that's how little I know. And as much fun as THAT would be, and although I have a skill to compete with.. Well, that's beside the point.

Suggestions on how to get funding for school? Right now my famiy has forbidden me from taking out student loans; my dad is paying for this semester, but.. this is just a bad situation. I was supposed to have enough to go to the full four years, and then at least another two if I wanted to pursue veterinary medicine. Sigh.

Talk to your college advisor. He or she can help you find legit sources, not the pay-me-some-money=and-I'll-help=you-get-scholarships scam.

There are a lot of "affinity" scholarships available, but you need to do research to find them. First, if your grades are good, go to your school's financial office and ask about scholarships. If you haven't gotten a Pell Grant, apply for that. There is a lot of help available.

And now, the stern uncle talk. I'm having a hard time understanding why you think the taxpayers should support your grandparents while they have enough money to pay your way in college. There ARE programs into which they could have invested that money and it would not be considered part of their assets, but apparently they either got bad advice or didn't ask how to insure your education. It's great they've lived as long as they have; their ages appear to be well over the national average. Unfortunately, that means they have to have a way to pay their expenses, and the government sees their assets as the way to finance that.

I had a full academic scholarship to the University of Arkansas, but I preferred to go to a small private college. My mother (single parent) never paid a penny. I got grants, loans, and I worked as many as 3 jobs at a time to make it through. Yes, it was tough, but I appreciated it a lot more than some of my friends who never lifted a finger to help pay their expenses.

OK, soapbox mode off.

I've recently dealt with a family member going into a nursing home. In the state I live in, there is a way to protect at least some of the spouse's assets. Your grandfather needs to see a lawyer that is experienced in elder law/financial planning and must do it as soon as possible.

...MrBlanche, I asked for ways to figure out how to get scholarships, not a mild criticism of what my Grandparents should or should not have done.

I really don't appreciate that. I'm frustrated with the government; My Grandparents are very good people. Not only is my Grandad a War Veteran, but he's been a fantastic citizen his whole life and has never once had to ask for any help from them. Now, the one low point in his life when he actually needs the assistence, he can't get any. And by demanding he give up all his assets to support the one woman who has stood by his side this entire time, he will have to stop supporting my crippled mom, who cannot walk well AT ALL and the aunt who had a congenital heart defect and heart surgery, and I'll have to work much, much harder to get my education.

By refusing to help him with one person, they are effectively putting two people into the system. Isn't that smart?

My family didn't want me to be in debt at the end of my schooling, you know?

I guess I'm not allowed to be annoyed. Not only that, but then you mildly critized me, with what felt like a mild implication that I'm doing nothing to help along with my schooling. You're mistaken.

Mom of 4: I'm planning on going to the scholarship center. =) I have a decent GPA, volunteering activities, work at a law firm, and a past that.. well, isn't the nicest. So hopefully I'll get a scholarship based on that, but who knows?

AbbysMom: My Brother is driving my Mom out to KS to talk to a lawyer. Fingers crossed that it helps.

I think your Grandfather should consult a lawyer , something about this sounds like the gov is trying to take advantage.

((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))) and dont let anyone make you feel bad .

Please don't take it so hard. What I told you is probably extremely mild, compared to what you'll get from a lot of counselors. The suggestion to consult a lawyer is not a bad one; I would add consulting a CPA. There are a number of trusts, college funds, etc., that could have been used, and some may still be an option. I envy you that you have someone like that to help you; I had no one. I've essentially been self-supporting since I was 14. I had the grades to go to an Ivy-league university, but the finances just weren't there at that time. Today, a person in the same condition could apply and know that he could go to those universities for free.

But a really good source of scholarships is, as I said, the affinity type. That means you can get a scholarship because you're Irish, or your dad was a firefighter, or you're diagnosed with some disease, or your family came from a certain town, or your mother worked/works for some company. There are college-specific scholarships, union scholarships, corporate scholarships, all sorts of stuff like that. But they DO take a lot of research.

In addition, almost all colleges and universities have student aid offices that will help you if your academics are high enough.

When my MIL had to go into a nursing home with dementia, we had to sell her house and basically turn the money over to the nursing home. When that money ran out, Medicaid would take over. I could understand it, because there are many people in the nursing home who are paying their own way, not on Medicaid.

I've also seen people who need assistance be turned down, and people who don't need it but are scamming the system get all sorts of aid. Not much about it seems fair or just.

I wish you all luck. It sounds as though you're all in a very rough situation right now, but you just have to keep hope and keep trying to find a solution.

Not to downplay the seriousness of the OP - but I wanted to mention this thread brings up a good reminder:

Get long term care insurance.

also - I assume the grandfather did not pay into a 529 acct in the OP's name. If he had done so for her education, they wouldnt be able to touch it.

As far as paying your own way and avoiding debt - consider going to a community college for two years, then transferring to a school of your choosing. With you working, you should be able to afford it fairly easily.

If you insist on a four year schoo, nothing wrong with state schools.
if I had known better, I would have done my undergraduate for cheap, and only have incurred debt for grad school at a "better" university.

I want to second the community college route. They are usually much, much cheaper in tuition costs than going to state or private college/university. I'm starting at Cincinnati State Technical and Community College in September and the tuition is only a little over $80 per credit hour. After I receive my associates I'm going to transfer to a four year university to acquire my bachelor's degree.

If you live at home (with your parents) you may have a hard time qualifying for grants based on what their income is. I make too much for a Pell Grant but I'm going to be using Stafford Loans to pay for my schooling and hope I can qualify for a scholarship or two along the way. I know you said your parents are against the loans but they are availabe for a reason. Any particular reason why they are dead set against them (other than having to pay them back)? There is a limit to the amount you can receive and it varies with whether or not the loans are subsidized or unsubsidized and the amount casn be changed to have just enough to cover the costs of books, tuition and supplies to help keep the amount that will need to be paid back down.

Besides checking with your adviser, contact the financial aid office of the school, they should be able to tell what other options you have as far as the different grants and scholarships to apply for.

Money is never a reason not to go to school. Nobody has helped me pay for it yet, and I'm about to start my sixth year (already have two BA's, starting my MS). The difference in what you'll earn (if you choose your major wisely and do well) is so much more than any debt you'll have to pay off that it's well worth it. Just don't go overboard.

If your grandparents are applying for help, then maybe they do need that money that was intended for you. My parents had to spend a lot of my college fund from my grandma (not much to begin with, it was gone before the first tuition bill ever came) for their own bills.

Originally Posted by mrblanche

Please don't take it so hard. What I told you is probably extremely mild, compared to what you'll get from a lot of counselors. The suggestion to consult a lawyer is not a bad one; I would add consulting a CPA. There are a number of trusts, college funds, etc., that could have been used, and some may still be an option. I envy you that you have someone like that to help you; I had no one. I've essentially been self-supporting since I was 14. I had the grades to go to an Ivy-league university, but the finances just weren't there at that time. Today, a person in the same condition could apply and know that he could go to those universities for free.

But a really good source of scholarships is, as I said, the affinity type. That means you can get a scholarship because you're Irish, or your dad was a firefighter, or you're diagnosed with some disease, or your family came from a certain town, or your mother worked/works for some company. There are college-specific scholarships, union scholarships, corporate scholarships, all sorts of stuff like that. But they DO take a lot of research.

In addition, almost all colleges and universities have student aid offices that will help you if your academics are high enough.

Click to expand...

I went to the Ivy League - to Cornell. My mother was a widow and we did not have money. I applied to 3 schools, one I was sure to get in, one that I almost certain to get in, and Cornell which I couldn't figure out how to afford. The sure school gave me nothing and wanted me to use my late Dad's social security benefits which by-the-way Mom used to support us. I didn't know what to think. The second gave me a full scholarship. Cornell gave a full scholarship except for room and board which we could afford.
Actually, I won a NYS Regents scholarship as well which resulted in just having to pay room and board.

I had also applied for a corporate scholarship from CPC International (now Unilever) because my late Dad had worked for a subsidiary as a machine operator in a sugar refinery. I won that scholarship and it was $5.00 more than what Cornell gave me, which obviously what we could afford. Cornell took away the scholarship but I still got the Regents award.

I guess my point is that there is money available if you look. The colleges are not going to be looking at your grandfather's income tax return but your family's and yours. The affinity thing is a good idea. Also, would you be eligible for a corporate scholarship? Does CO have some kind of award like The Regents? Some scholarships require work-study so be prepared to work. Is your major for a career that CO wants but is in short supply?

BTW, I had to submit an application for the scholarship that was harder than Cornell's. What was my favorite book? My AP English teacher suggested Tess of the d'Ubervilles. To this day I still can't stand that novel.

I would check at the libraries and check online for scholarships. There are a lot out there that a lot of people don't know about so they go unused. They may only be for a few hundred each, but every little bit helps. Also, check with financial aid at the college and see if you can get into a work study program to help with expenses. I worked in the admissions office for a year and it was easy work. Pay was minimum wage, but I didn't have to drive to work, and they willingly worked around my class schedule.