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worse human in the world....

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
so I did something really bad. Well I did a few things really bad. To start with, I brought a new kitten with me to the house I'm now living in, which has a 7 year old cat who is used to being the only one. Still all went well until I started to move my stuff in....this meant I had to keep the door open, so either the new kitten runs outside and gets lost, or he going into the room with the other cat. That said, they didn't kill each other, the older cat hisses and growls alot, but thats it. So I took a deep sigh and let him up with me when I'm there to watch them.

The problem is this older cat now doesn't want to come in the house anymore. She comes in to eat and drink then its right back out she goes. Now my kitten is sure she is going to be his next playmate and follows her everywhere. He does keep abut 5 feet away though, looking around corners and whatnot.

Then I was going though the door, I had my hands full and my kitten runs up the stairs. I freaked out and tried to block the path with my foot. low and behold the older cat choose that time to try and run out the door, which means I ended up kicking her.....I feel so bad....

Now everytime she sees me, she growls and hisses. She every tried to attack me when I petted her. This is driving me crazy, I have always gotten along with every animal i met. Is there any way to fix this?
post #2 of 17
Be patient. Let her come to you. Offer treats. Lots of treats.
post #3 of 17
Time heals are wounds.

This is normal, hopefully they will become best buds.

Give it at least a few weeks.
post #4 of 17
Oh, Hun...you're not doing anything wrong. I do know how you feel, though.

I have two 4yo kitties, litter siblings, Hobbes (m) and Sunny (f). In the past few months, we'd noticed that Sunny had decided she'd rather have her alone time and Hobbes was still really into playing, so we brought home a 12wk old boy kitten we've now named Simon.

BOY was Sunny NOT into that idea! She did the same...avoided me, was just all-around grumpy and hissy and growly. She even growled at her brother, Hobbes, and that's just not heard of between them!

It's been a few weeks now, and even though her and Simon still don't really get along, I *did* notice her kinda playing with him last night, so I think she may be warming up to him. That, and as he gets older, just even since being here, he's calming down a bunch (why, I just spied him laying on my bed!), so things are okay.

So, don't worry, Hun. I know it feels like you've done something so horribly awful...and believe me, I second-guessed myself the whole way through, too. There were so many times I told my DH, "We shouldn't have brought him home...we should take him back...look how miserable they are!" BUT...my DH told me to hang in there, and I'm glad I did! Hobbes is loving having a play buddy now. Even Sunny's starting to take to him! And as for we humans? He's flat-out stolen our hearts.

It does take time, weeks or even months...but it's so worth it. Have you considered getting a second kitten for your new guy to play with? That would take his attention off your girl a bit, and give him someone he can focus his playful energy on.

Hugs to you guys,

Rosie*
post #5 of 17
I think you're well on your way to losing both cats. The new one follows the older one outside, the older one takes off to get away from the new one and the new one follows - straight into traffic perhaps? Or who knows where? And the older one feels driven away from home. I think it's time to keep both indoors, do a proper introduction (see notes on this at top of forum page) and stop playing Russian roulette with the cats.
post #6 of 17
Yeah... I brought a dog home, then 2 months later I brought another kitten... my three babies were mad at me, too, for a while... but they soon forgave me. (Probably for the food! )
post #7 of 17
Your older cat is jelous and mad right now. Yup, it will take time so be patient and pay extra attention to the older cat.
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by othie View Post
so I did something really bad. Well I did a few things really bad. To start with, I brought a new kitten with me to the house I'm now living in, which has a 7 year old cat who is used to being the only one. Still all went well until I started to move my stuff in....this meant I had to keep the door open, so either the new kitten runs outside and gets lost, or he going into the room with the other cat. That said, they didn't kill each other, the older cat hisses and growls alot, but thats it. So I took a deep sigh and let him up with me when I'm there to watch them.

The problem is this older cat now doesn't want to come in the house anymore. She comes in to eat and drink then its right back out she goes. Now my kitten is sure she is going to be his next playmate and follows her everywhere. He does keep abut 5 feet away though, looking around corners and whatnot.

Then I was going though the door, I had my hands full and my kitten runs up the stairs. I freaked out and tried to block the path with my foot. low and behold the older cat choose that time to try and run out the door, which means I ended up kicking her.....I feel so bad....

Now everytime she sees me, she growls and hisses. She every tried to attack me when I petted her. This is driving me crazy, I have always gotten along with every animal i met. Is there any way to fix this?
Aaaww don't be too hard on yourself. We all have made mistakes with our kitties Try talking to her and tell her you are sorry you kicked her, that it was an accident. I know it sounds crazy but it works. A couple of times in the past, I've accidentally stepped on one of Rascal's paws and of course he screams and runs away from me, but I immediately chase him down, scoop him up in my arms and gently check his paws, to make sure I hadn't broke anything and I would just tell him how sorry I was that it was an accident and he believed me. They can tell when it wasn't done on purpose. Of course now, I'm always extra careful and no paws have been stepped on in a long time.

Even if it's already been a few days, keep telling her how sorry you are, it can't hurt, but don't push yourself on her. Just be patient with her and keep being sweet to her, in time she will come back to you.

I do have a question though, is she normally an outdoor cat? Or did this going outside start with the arrival of the new kitten? Is she micro-chipped? You are going to have to be careful not to let the little one get outside too, or else you could lose them.
post #9 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larke View Post
I think you're well on your way to losing both cats. The new one follows the older one outside, the older one takes off to get away from the new one and the new one follows - straight into traffic perhaps? Or who knows where? And the older one feels driven away from home. I think it's time to keep both indoors, do a proper introduction (see notes on this at top of forum page) and stop playing Russian roulette with the cats.
The kitten is mine, and he is a indoor cat, but the older cat is not, and her owner wants her to be able to go out everyday, however if you think it would help, I could try to do the introduction again....I just thought it was to late to try it again
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanynne View Post
Aaaww don't be too hard on yourself. We all have made mistakes with our kitties Try talking to her and tell her you are sorry you kicked her, that it was an accident. I know it sounds crazy but it works. A couple of times in the past, I've accidentally stepped on one of Rascal's paws and of course he screams and runs away from me, but I immediately chase him down, scoop him up in my arms and gently check his paws, to make sure I hadn't broke anything and I would just tell him how sorry I was that it was an accident and he believed me. They can tell when it wasn't done on purpose. Of course now, I'm always extra careful and no paws have been stepped on in a long time.

Even if it's already been a few days, keep telling her how sorry you are, it can't hurt, but don't push yourself on her. Just be patient with her and keep being sweet to her, in time she will come back to you.

I do have a question though, is she normally an outdoor cat? Or did this going outside start with the arrival of the new kitten? Is she micro-chipped? You are going to have to be careful not to let the little one get outside too, or else you could lose them.
oh the older cat who isn't mine is a outdoor/indoor cat, my kitten as of yet is a indoor cat. We got a leash and a harness for him, so I can take him outside, but we haven't tried it yet, he has only been here for two weeks so far...I'm afraid he would get away and get lost...
post #11 of 17
aww, you're not a bad human. I've stepped on my kitties tails before and they let out a big "raaawwww!!!" But I always petted them and said sorry and they always forgave me They know you didn't mean to hurt them. Your kitty will come around, just be patient and give it time, and let him come to you.

And if the kitten is an inside kitten, just be very careful not to let him outside, especially if he follows the big kitty around a lot. If you are going in and out the door a lot moving things, I would suggest keeping the kitten in a room where he can't run out. When we are going in and out the door, we always put Rahja in the bathroom (and we turn on the faucet b/c he likes to play with the water lol) so that he can't run out the door--he likes to be very sneaky and race outside when you're not looking! Bad kitty.

I would keep the older cat inside too, but if the owner doesn't want that, then I guess it's not up to you? Because like someone said, with kitties dashing in and out all the time, something could happen to them.

Also, I am sure they will get used to each other eventually. When you're done moving things, they've spent a little more time together, and things have settled down, your kitties will calm down too. It just takes time.
post #12 of 17
I'd give everyone some Rescue Remedy and/or get a Feliway plug in and start the intro's over.
post #13 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by othie View Post
oh the older cat who isn't mine is a outdoor/indoor cat, my kitten as of yet is a indoor cat. We got a leash and a harness for him, so I can take him outside, but we haven't tried it yet, he has only been here for two weeks so far...I'm afraid he would get away and get lost...
Oh the older cat isn't yours! but you were taking care of it and feeding it??

Oh so her "owner" wants her to be able to go out everyday, nice sentiment but not good for your kitten.

Since the older cat is not yours to start with, I would not let it back into your house anymore and I would stop feeding it. If you keep letting it back into the house, then yes your kitten and it will become friends, your kitten will follow it around and it will follow the older cat outside too and eventually you will lose your kitten. Either someone who finds it very cute and sweet will end up keeping it, I have heard that happen many a time. And then you have no idea how it is being taken care of or treated, what are they now feeding it and are they going to declaw it. Or it will eventually get lost or hit by a car or something, or it could fall into the wrongs hands of someone very cruel. That is taking a big risk.

You might say I am just being paranoid. Perhaps I am, but when it comes to *my* cats, I would much rather be safe than sorry and I would not be willing to take that kind of risk.

Anyhow that is just my opinion.
post #14 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanynne View Post
Oh the older cat isn't yours! but you were taking care of it and feeding it??

I was under the impression, from the original post, that the older cat is the original feline resident, and belongs to the house's other human occupant. I could very well be wrong, but that's how I understood it.
post #15 of 17
It's never too late to try an introduction again. However, this is a difficult situation, where one cat is allowed to go out, and the kitten is not. Unless you keep the kitten in your room all the time, how are you going to keep the kitten in?

And by all means apologize to the older cat. It's best to follow them to where they are hiding, and apologize then, but they are smart enough to accept your new overtures.

This is a tricky situation, and the older cat will be able to get outside, away from the kitten, whenever they like. The kitten will want to follow. If they become friends, this will happen even more often.

You have to decide to either let the kitten become an outdoor cat, or keep him only in your room, for safety. Without the cooperation of other people in the house, I don't see how you can have it both ways.
post #16 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanynne View Post
Oh the older cat isn't yours! but you were taking care of it and feeding it??

Oh so her "owner" wants her to be able to go out everyday, nice sentiment but not good for your kitten.

Since the older cat is not yours to start with, I would not let it back into your house anymore and I would stop feeding it. If you keep letting it back into the house, then yes your kitten and it will become friends, your kitten will follow it around and it will follow the older cat outside too and eventually you will lose your kitten. Either someone who finds it very cute and sweet will end up keeping it, I have heard that happen many a time. And then you have no idea how it is being taken care of or treated, what are they now feeding it and are they going to declaw it. Or it will eventually get lost or hit by a car or something, or it could fall into the wrongs hands of someone very cruel. That is taking a big risk.

You might say I am just being paranoid. Perhaps I am, but when it comes to *my* cats, I would much rather be safe than sorry and I would not be willing to take that kind of risk.

Anyhow that is just my opinion.
I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. The cat isn't mine, but I am living in the same house, I am renting a room here while I go to college and the owner is a friend of mine, but sadly one that believes strongly in letting her out everyday. Honestly I'm lucky she is letting me bring my little one up and let him run around the house.
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by othie View Post
I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. The cat isn't mine, but I am living in the same house, I am renting a room here while I go to college and the owner is a friend of mine, but sadly one that believes strongly in letting her out everyday. Honestly I'm lucky she is letting me bring my little one up and let him run around the house.
Aaah OK, that does help to clear things up, then just go ahead and try the introductions again and apologize to the older cat. I guess you will just have to try your best not to let the little one out.
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