Really? Am I possessive?

EnzoLeya

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Long story short, my SO (boyfriend of 2.5+ years) comes home and tells me there's this girl at his work who talks with him a lot. She just graduated HIGH SCHOOL!!! He's 22, and I'm 21, I know it's not that old, but High School was a long time ago, maturity wise. He tells me one night that she jokingly says "Aww I love you Blake!" Then a few nights later she's asks my SO if he will take her for a ride on his motorcycle. Blake asks me what I think and I say, "um.....no. I'm not ok with that." He doesn't understand my thoughts and I explain that some high schooler wants to ride on the back of MY boyfriends motorcycle. It's a sports bike so you pretty much have to sit on top of the rider and hug them the whole time. He understands, but doesn't think it's a huge deal because she's already rode on the back of his married friend/coworker's moped.

Fast forward....He tells the girl at work that he's "not allowed to have girls ride on the back of his motorcycle"
Then the girl says "oh are you even allowed to talk to girls?!"

Fast forward again.....I go to the bar a couple nights ago with my SO and a few of his coworkers. Something was said about my SO to a female coworker and I see the female coworker mouth "I can't" and nod her head towards me.
 
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EnzoLeya

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I know a lot of guys are pigs, but I trust my SO, I'm just a LITTLE possessive I guess
I think I'm in the right on this one, but what do you guys think. Maybe you could make me feel better.
 

belongstoevie

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Yes, you're possesive, and rightfully so! You're certainly not overly possesive. It's not like you won't let him talk to other people (despite her snarky remark), but 22 is a highly attractive age to an 18 year old girl, and she's already being very friendly with him. I don't blame you at all for drawing a line! And it's a very reasonable line.

Glad your SO agrees! Took my hubby a while to realize why I didn't like him going over to his ex-girlfriend's house at 10:00 at night (this was WAY back when we first started dating!)... It was fine if they talked, but that's where I drew the line!
 

fwan

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You're not being possessive, Its just plain rude of her to ask, its being flirtatious, unfortunately because you are not at his work, you dont know if he flirts back.
 

rosiemac

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Originally Posted by fwan

unfortunately because you are not at his work, you dont know if he flirts back.
Go on Fran, make her feel better


You've let your feelings be known and that's what i would have done, so try and leave it at that with him
 

skyecat0117

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I had the same situation happen a little over a year ago. When my SO started this job at a credit union there was this younger girl there that he befriended. Ok I'm cool with that I have lots of male friends no need to be a hypocrite. Fast forward like you say she gets added onto his friends list on my space now I'm a little irked. A few days later she asks him out to this place called B.J.'s pizza for a pizookie (a type of dessert) doesn't suggest I tag along or her BF for that fact not even some other co-workers just her and him. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! This little girl just hit on and asked MY bf out not gunna happen. SO sees no harm in it she is just a friend
This girl is tricky I can see through her my SO is oblivious. A few days later my SO and her are talking at work via company e-mail, my SO was having a bad day and I guess was telling her about it just venting to someone who would listen. Well that night she leaves him a comment which reads "Hey sweetie hope your day ended better." My response was "His night went just fine now why don't you run along and worry about your own damn man." She got really mad and it was at that point I told my SO I didn't want him to communicate with him anymore.

I think what I did was very called for. My SO still thinks I was acting like an over protective jealous gf. To this day he still think this. What you said was very right. Even if you whole heartily trust your SO it's other people out there that are sneaky and have no moral forethought.
 
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EnzoLeya

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Originally Posted by BelongsToEvie

Yes, you're possesive, and rightfully so! You're certainly not overly possesive. It's not like you won't let him talk to other people (despite her snarky remark), but 22 is a highly attractive age to an 18 year old girl, and she's already being very friendly with him. I don't blame you at all for drawing a line! And it's a very reasonable line.

Glad your SO agrees! Took my hubby a while to realize why I didn't like him going over to his ex-girlfriend's house at 10:00 at night (this was WAY back when we first started dating!)... It was fine if they talked, but that's where I drew the line!
Phew!!! Thank goodness people agree! That's exactly what I thought! When I was 18 a 22-year-old was VERY attractive whether they were taken or not. I'm glad to know that was a good line to draw! And I agree with you about your SO, I'm glad everything worked out!

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

Go on Fran, make her feel better


You've let your feelings be known and that's what i would have done, so try and leave it at that with him
No, she makes a good point and I agree with her. I know he's a bit flirty, but so am I, so I can't be mad about that. I'm glad he understood and didn't get mad about it.


Originally Posted by SkyeCat0117

I had the same situation happen a little over a year ago. When my SO started this job at a credit union there was this younger girl there that he befriended. Ok I'm cool with that I have lots of male friends no need to be a hypocrite. Fast forward like you say she gets added onto his friends list on my space now I'm a little irked. A few days later she asks him out to this place called B.J.'s pizza for a pizookie (a type of dessert) doesn't suggest I tag along or her BF for that fact not even some other co-workers just her and him. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! This little girl just hit on and asked MY bf out not gunna happen. SO sees no harm in it she is just a friend
This girl is tricky I can see through her my SO is oblivious. A few days later my SO and her are talking at work via company e-mail, my SO was having a bad day and I guess was telling her about it just venting to someone who would listen. Well that night she leaves him a comment which reads "Hey sweetie hope your day ended better." My response was "His night went just fine now why don't you run along and worry about your own damn man." She got really mad and it was at that point I told my SO I didn't want him to communicate with him anymore.

I think what I did was very called for. My SO still thinks I was acting like an over protective jealous gf. To this day he still think this. What you said was very right. Even if you whole heartily trust your SO it's other people out there that are sneaky and have no moral forethought.
Oh yikes! I would have done the same thing!!!! I totally agree with you about the other girls! I tell Blake all the time, "I know girls! They are sneaky conniving
!"
 

skyecat0117

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

*No disrespect chaps* Some men just need it spelt out for them that's all
Even then it's ify that they'll get what's going on.
 

fwan

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Sorry i just went through what i wrote and pushed submit before finishing off.. You have to forgive me im not quite "there" at the moment.

I have the same problem, this girl from America that works in FH company is always chatting to him, its gotten to the point that he is on the computer and my desk is behind him that i see him paying more attention to her. Unfortunately I cant tell her to bugger off, but soon enough i will have to if she leaves another myspace comment again.

the last one she wrote " I needed a light, so I came here looking for your mangina." It's still ticking me off.

Long story short, if i could blow her up through the internet, i would.


FH is lovable though, but he flirts with bar tenders so he can get free double shots. grrr.

I have to admit i am probably much more possesive than you are because I currently don't have any close male friends, I get a heap of students that want to ask me out instead blerg! haha
 

kittkatt

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I personally don't mind my s/o conversing with other females at work (he's a big flirt, anyway
) but when it comes to women asking him to do things with him, that's a different ballpark, IMO. If she's asking for "just a motorcycle ride" now, who's to say she's not leading up to something else somewhere further down the line??

My question is is just why she's asking your s/o for a ride, when she knows he's already taken..


~KK~
 

tara g

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I'm possessive too! There's no way I'd be okay with some just outta HS girl (or any other girl for that matter!) doing something like that with my hubby (he's 22 and I'm 21 also, so we're right there in your age range!). It sounds like she's got something for him. Him asking what you thought was a good move on his part.

Does this girl know he's taken though? Hubby mentions me a lot, so a girl gets the picture if she thinks something will come of them. I'd wonder why she's asking a taken man for a ride on his bike (which I'm sure she only asked because of the "closeness" there'd be!) ... either she doesn't care he's taken, or doesn't know! And why wouldn't she know..
 

natalie_ca

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I don't think you're "possessive", somewhat jealous? Yes. But many people are.

I do however have a problem with your boy friend. In stead of owning up to the word "No. Sorry you can't ride on the back of my bike" he put the blame on you and said "I'm not allowed to have anyone ride on the back of my bike" and now the word has spred that he's "whipped" because of you and needs your permission or something.

He should have just told the girl "No" and that was it instead of making you out to be the bad guy.
 

kittkatt

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I do however have a problem with your boy friend. In stead of owning up to the word "No. Sorry you can't ride on the back of my bike" he put the blame on you and said "I'm not allowed to have anyone ride on the back of my bike" and now the word has spred that he's "whipped" because of you and needs your permission or something.

He should have just told the girl "No" and that was it instead of making you out to be the bad guy.
I agree!
 

krazy kat2

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In my circles, another woman on your man's motorcycle is akin to cheating and subject to a severe butt kicking.
You are being perfectly reasonable in your feelings. You have been pretty respectful to all concerned, as well. That says a lot for you as a person. I hope this is the end of it now.
He did kinda wimp out on not being "allowed" to have anybody on the back. He should have told her there is only one person that rides with him is you.
 

rockcat

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and about the wimping out part - it was wimpy, but the main thing is he didn't allow it to happen.
 

tara g

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I don't think you're "possessive", somewhat jealous? Yes. But many people are.

I do however have a problem with your boy friend. In stead of owning up to the word "No. Sorry you can't ride on the back of my bike" he put the blame on you and said "I'm not allowed to have anyone ride on the back of my bike" and now the word has spred that he's "whipped" because of you and needs your permission or something.

He should have just told the girl "No" and that was it instead of making you out to be the bad guy.
I agree with that too.
I've been in the situation where people figure Rob needs my permission to do anything and everything because he'd say he "wasn't allowed" to do something. He's better with it now though.
 

jugen

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I understand where you're coming from and I'd have confronted her at this point. But that's just me. My hubby is a flirt and I have a mean jealous streak and it gets me into trouble frequently. I hate it when other women flirt with him and he knows it. But he's the same way so it all evens out. And it's gotten better over time, I guess you could say, we've both mellowed out over time.
 

bnwalker2

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I have been in your situation soooo many times with John. There is this girl that kept contacting him for the longest time. She'd email, text, call, etc. John is now 24 and this girl was 16. He tried telling her to stop contacting him, he tried ignoring her, etc. She was dead set on sleeping with him.

I was so angry with her and I started to get jealous and possessive. I knew he wasn't acting upon her invitations but I started to worry about it all the time. He told her he was in a relationship but she didn't care, she thought cheating was perfectly fine. The only thing that made her leave him alone ended up being for him to lie and tell her he was gay. She left him alone for good after that.
 
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