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new introduction, complete insanity, terror, emotional devastation

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
ive had one cat, fuzzy, for 3 years now.. hes had friends, my best friend brought his cat over a lot till he ran away, and some kittens were brought over... hes usually just been aloof and temperamental.
but no cats have been over in a while, and fuzzy is an inside cat since i live above the 1st floor and cant let him in when he wants/needs to.. and lately ive felt hes been in an odd "shut in" kinda funk.. so for the past few years ive been thinking about getting him a friend.. and a friend needed to find her cat a new home so i thought what the hell... and i brought the cat home tonight...

i half followed this suggestion of having them stay in different rooms for a while to smell each other out without having any direct contact... so i bring this cat home and put him in a room.. i spend about 15 mins calming him down.. hes cool.. so i go out and try to see how my old cat is doing..
...
..
as soon as he sees me he bolts to the windowsill behind a curtain.. and i walk over and hes hissing and growling hysterically at ME?... like nothing ive ever heard him do his whole life hes also twisted up in the window with his head down and his butt up in the air.. and hes defecating all over himself!!!???

i was in complete horror/shock.. i had no idea what to do.. i sorta tried to talk soothing and i reached for him and he FREAKED OUT and tried to attack my hand! completely utterly insane. usually when hes mad he just hisses and hides or turns his face from me and growls a little kinda warbly.. but this time he was screaming crazy!

i ran to the bathroom to grab a towel to throw over him so i could grab him and take him to the bathroom, and when i came back he was under the recliner still screaming away. i pushed the chair over and tossed the towel over him and he just bit and scratched my hands and arms. there was blood and poop all over my carpets to the bathroom.


i somehow managed to give him a brief bath while crying... he calmed down the screaming when he got wet(no idea why, but thank god).
i fairly quickly decided to give the cat right back..
i left my fuzzy under the bed still a bit wet...
and i went to a bar for a bit to calm down..
i came back hoping hed be a bit better..

but no.. hes still screaming murder at me..
i even tried to spray the whole house down with air freshener to get the other cats smell away... pfft..

i really dont know what to think.
or do.
i know its horrible.. but i kind of hate my cat right now.
and he was never nice to me to begin with..
i was kinda hoping that getting another cat would somehow make him nicer to me.. and now... i realize hes just completely insane!
i love him.. but
post #2 of 21
My personal suggestion would be to leave the cat ALONE.

You came in smelling like a threat to his territory and despite him displaying that he wasn't happy, terrified even, with you there (smelling like the other cat and all), you grabbed at him and then threw him in the bath (I understand why he needed a bath, but still)... Sounds like a scared, disorientated kitty on your hands.

He's going to have to get over it with time. Lots of time.
post #3 of 21
With all due respect, your actions have made things much harder on your own cat. It is very normal for cats to react strongly to scents of other cats. He smelled that on you when you came out of the room with the second cat. He doesn't differentiate between that scent and you. You can't take his reaction to you personally. He did exactly what he's supposed to do as a cat: defend his territory. Flipping the chair over and grabbing at him were the opposite of what you should have done.

Instead, give him lots of time and space and realize that cats don't make friends like people or dogs. They are programmed to establish and defend a territory. New cats and smells are perceived as a threat. That being said, cats very often can learn to live with other cats but you must create an environment that's calm to help them do that.
post #4 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by howtoholdacat View Post
With all due respect, your actions have made things much harder on your own cat. It is very normal for cats to react strongly to scents of other cats. He smelled that on you when you came out of the room with the second cat. He doesn't differentiate between that scent and you. You can't take his reaction to you personally. He did exactly what he's supposed to do as a cat: defend his territory. Flipping the chair over and grabbing at him were the opposite of what you should have done.

Instead, give him lots of time and space and realize that cats don't make friends like people or dogs. They are programmed to establish and defend a territory. New cats and smells are perceived as a threat. That being said, cats very often can learn to live with other cats but you must create an environment that's calm to help them do that.

So you would suggest letting a cat covered in feces run around your house for a few days until it calmed down? Be realistic and think for a second.... that's uterly insane to suggest, the cat needed to be cleaned up.
post #5 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamison View Post
So you would suggest letting a cat covered in feces run around your house for a few days until it calmed down? Be realistic and think for a second.... that's uterly insane to suggest, the cat needed to be cleaned up.
At the risk of sounding dirty and gross I might have done just that. I think (at least with my cats) as long as you were standing near they would be too freaked out to move, so maybe a 5 min wait would be enough to calm them down. Either that or I would have grabbed that cat in the same manner and shoved him in the bathtub and just shut the shower curtain so he couldn’t get out until he calmed down.

I don’t think I would have bathed him though. He can be smelly for a bit for the sake of my hands being bitten off and have a freaked out cat growling forever at me lol.

I wouldn’t be too worried though, and don’t be too upset at your cat. He was just being a cat and he will get over it in time. Right now he just needs some time to be alone and work through this. I would just totally ignore him until he comes to you.
post #6 of 21
I have a couple of questions:

Since he is still having difficulty, are you sure he did not hurt himself, or is not in pain for some reason? I have heard about a lot of introductions gone wrong, but never that bad.
Second did he catch sight of the cat? Is that what made him flip out or was it simply the smell?
Finally are both cats fixed?

I think your reaction to try and calm him and clean him is natural. I think now you need to give him his space. It's no fun, but I think you need to work slowly with your kitty.
post #7 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rang_27 View Post

I think your reaction to try and calm him and clean him is natural. I think now you need to give him his space. It's no fun, but I think you need to work slowly with your kitty.
I totally agree with the above. In the heat of the moment, and your panicking, getting frustrated and mad I’m sure that’s what most of us would do.

Sometimes cats are hard to deal with. Don’t be too mad over the situation. Maybe one day you can get another cat, but I would do it another way such as totally ignoring the growling cat until he calms down and wait for him to smell you. Cats like to do things their own way and don’t like to be crowded. Its always a bad situation when you force a cat to do something or make them feel boxed in.

As I said don’t feel too bad, and don’t be mad at your cat. It will go away.
post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 
thanks for the replies everyone
im pretty sure im just going to have to ignore him for a few.. weeks.. bah.
im not sure if hes hurt but if he is hes not hurt bad.. it would just be a few bumps from my trying to shake him off my bleeding arm in the bathtub. i could barely move my hands at work today.
they were both male, they didnt see each other for more than maybe a second.. it was all just smell..
and theyre both fixed.

fuzzy is now hiding curled up and growling in the bathroom and im (not quite) perfectly content to just let him sulk it out there. this morning when i checked on him he hissed a few times but then made soft light meowing sounds.. and allowed me to scratch his face... but i guess hes had time to wake up a bit and is back to hating me now.

yeah.. we'll both just have to get over it.
im not going to bother trying again.. ever.. i didnt really want another cat anyway.. i just wanted him to have a friend... and.. well.. that was a mistake i wont repeat.
post #9 of 21
was the cat older? or a kitten?
I heard getting an opposite gender was better...
I've never heard of a cat being so upset it defecated on itself,,,,goodness O_O I feel like I have saints at home -
Keep us posted, does your cat have a history of being this upset all the time before?
He's hissed at you before over other things? What gender were the cats that your friends bought over?

My cat has NEVER hissed at me before, swatted and bit me a couple of times, flicked their tail and run away , but no hissing or tearing apart at my limbs or anything
wow
good luck and let us know if Fuzzy ever calms down!! scary!
post #10 of 21
Thats terrible your Cat acted taht way. My Sisters Cat Maui went nuts also and attacked anything and anyone when my Sister took Oreos brother over there. My Cats never do that. when I get another Cat. i hope he will calm down soon.
post #11 of 21
Pearl is 8 years old and she still soils herself sometimes when the others try to engage her in play, or she backs herself into a corner. She is short haired, so she does not have the problem of urine and feces sticking to her fur. I have never tried to bathe her, she would probably shred me.
I hope your problems work themselves out.
post #12 of 21
Don't be too hard on yourself. You did what you thought best. I would also have grabbed a poop covered cat, and would risk the shredding, I think many of us here have "battle scars" from our furballs, for many diffenent reasons.
Do be careful if you have gotten bad bites, cat bites can easily become infected, and your doc wont make fun of you for going in to get them treated. Tell them you picked up a stray, and it ran away.
Not all cats want a buddy, some are just fine being the top cat, their domain ( us being ther subjects, of course, lol) If you want to try again, I would do that with a towel or cloth with the other cats scent on it before even bringing the cat into the house, though I would wait a bit till the cat calms down from this.
post #13 of 21
Did you go to the doctor for those bites? Cat bites can become infected very easily, and become pretty serious pretty fast!

I hope your kitty gets back to normal soon. What a terrible experience for both of you.
post #14 of 21
I have seen cats deficate on themselves out of fear, but never due to a new cat in the home. The cats I have seen do this are usually feral/semi-feral cats who are terrified of people.

I think after a few days of calming down, it might not be a bad idea to try something like sitting near your cat, get as close to his level as possible, do not face him, and try to feed him some treats. He sounds a little confused about who you are, and at the shelter we have found some cats will respond better to food than human touch. It is important to move slowly, and do not make eye contact.
post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamison View Post
So you would suggest letting a cat covered in feces run around your house for a few days until it calmed down? Be realistic and think for a second.... that's uterly insane to suggest, the cat needed to be cleaned up.
Of course not but knocking chairs over only elevates the cats fear. "Be realistic" when you handle animals and always aim for calm.
post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 
well i have an update on him. he was in the bathroom for about a day or so.. i laid in bed all night worrying that id never have my grumpy yet funny friend back and that he would just be insane forever..
the next day i realized i should get rid of the all the other cats smell. so i laundered my clothes and the towels and practically bombed my house with that neutra air stuff.. and amazingly(or perhaps not) he stopped hissing... and started acting sweet and making little soft meows and rubbing against my leg and scratching at the door..
now, in the back of my head i thought it was a bad idea, that he hadnt really calmed down.. but i just wanted it to be over and ok again.. so i let him out.. and fed him a little after an hour or so.. at the end of the night he hissed at me because i guess i was walking past him too much(??) and so i just picked him up gently and put him back in the bathroom for an hour.. and he was fine when i let him out..

everything was fine for about a day or so(not sure), and then i went over to a friends house for a few minutes, and while i was there i played around with his dog(ugh).. keep in mind, ive played with this dog for as long as my friend has had it.. my cat fuzzy has smelled this dog on me hundreds of times! hes sniffed my leg and walked away.. or ignored it and hopped on my lap for food...
THIS TIME however.. when i got home.. he apparently smelled it right away and.. ran into the bathroom... sadly(stupidly) he didnt hiss or anything and i didnt really notice, i went in the bathroom to wash my hands, and here was my cat, sitting on my (FRESHLY LAUNDERED TOWELS) trying to hide.. but when i turn around to dry my hands, i see him and.. um.. yeah.. all over again
hysterical hissing, crying, screaming, attacking, and the one that gives me nightmares, defecating ALL OVER THE TOWELS..

my parents suggested talking to a vet about maybe some cat tranquilizers.. so he can just CALM DOWN for a while and hopefully just forget about whatever got into his head.. that im trying to bring other animals to kill him or replace him?? bah..

i know i cant have it like this anymore.. i cant possibly spend the next 10 years or so of my life making sure no other animal comes near me so my cat wont smell it and poop all over the place when i get home.
i mean.. i love him.. but... NO.

hes now in his cat carrier in the closet where its dark and quiet.. ive let him out every so often in the bathroom but i try to ignore him the whole time.
hes not hissing at me anymore though.. and ive also been putting in the pants i was wearing with the dog smell on them so he can get used to the smell, cuz im around that dog a LOT and he simply MUST get used to it. apparently it seems to be working cuz hes not hissing anymore.. he may just be tired of hissing at this point. i dunno.
i plan to let him out of the closet to stay the bathroom tomorrow maybe.. but im not going to be so naive about it this time.. im not going to kid myself..
i think this time ill be putting him in the bathroom when i leave the house.. or the carrier... i dunno.. prolly the carrier cuz then if he poops himself i wont have to run off to find gloves or a towel to throw over him to get him to the tub... or ... god i dont know!
im sorry if i sound cruel.. i hope not.. im trying really hard not to be.. im so desperate!
i want my moody grumpy LAZY PLAYFUL friend back.. not this horrible shrieking pooping demon who i cant understand or control(not that i could ever control him..but i didnt have to worry about him wanting me to die)! i dont know what to do!
post #17 of 21
I think what I find most upseting is that this poor guy is living in complete terror. I'm not sure why he is so afraid or what he is so afraid of, but it's sad. Pooping on himself is a sign of fear. He is so afraid he can't control himself. I guess given his extreem reaction atleast a call to the vet is in order. It's hard to say exactly what his little brain is thinking. I know you are doing your best, but I'm not sure locking him in the bathroom or closet when your gone is the right thing to do. Maybe having a cage, or some other "safe place" available is the best idea. I understand you don't want to have to continue to clean up poop, but I wonder if he is more stressed out by being locked up? I'm not expert just trying to think of ways to help you get your old guy back. Did you try the Feliway, or maybe some Rescue Remedy?
post #18 of 21
I am finding this really weird. As said above its obvious that your cat is deathly terrified of something. Not to be rude either. But I am finding it totally unbelievable that your cat is doing this only because you played with a dog at someone else’s house…

Take him to the vet. He could be sick, or have something wrong with him. This could be something really simple. As I said, In all my years of having cats and many, many cats at that, as well as having some seriously screwed up ones I have never seen one freak out because I played with a dog at someone else house.. That just seems impossible… but I could be wrong.

I don’t think the other animals are the issue. Get him to a vet and keep us updated… I feel so sad for this cat, he’s so scared.

As an after thought, do you think maybe he is terrified of you? Maybe you were a little rough with him when you grabbed him, or were yelling or something? Now he associates other smells with you? Something to think about.
post #19 of 21
I'm wondering if he associates the smell of other animals with having to take a bath? That would upset my cats.
post #20 of 21
I would get a vet check first to rule out anything physical causing this. If there is nothing physical wrong then I would first try the Feliway. It is a little on the pricey side and it doesn't work on all cats but it has a positive calming effect on many cats. I would rule out any physical problems first though.
post #21 of 21
That sounds really, epically bad. You have all my sympathies!

If it's just an emotional reaction, your cat will calm down and be himself again. However, I agree with other posters that a vet visit to check and make sure he's physically well is really important. Sudden changes in behavior are often caused by a health problem, and these is a serious and terrible change in behavior (even though there is the obvious trigger of the strange cat, health problems can make cats more susceptible to other obvious behavioral triggers).

If the bathroom is a comfortable, safe place, with his regular feeding station, regular litter box, and a safe place to hide, it might make sense to keep him confined there to calm him down and mitigate any disasters. However, I don't think being confined in a carrier has any possibility of calming him down at all, and that's what you want; a calm and happy cat. I know taking him to the vet is a very stressful thing, but it's probable there is something physically wrong with him, so it's a necessary step.

Hopefully there won't be any more defecation incidents, but if there are, I wouldn't try to touch him. Even if a cat defecates while sitting down, the worst the (solid feces, anyway) could do would be to get stuck around the rear, right? Getting feces all over usually involves being confined in a small area and sitting on/ lying on the feces, right? So let him do what works, and clean up after him instead of trying to clean him.

You say you're trying to ignore him, but you're putting him into and taking him out of a carrier? Confine him in the bathroom if that works, but don't try to control his specific location (in a carrier or out, ect). Let him be in as much control of his situation as possible.

Good luck! This sounds really, really awful, but being calm and treating it like regular life instead of like an emergency should help. You don't want to set up a feedback loop of unhappiness between Fuzzy and you.
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