About to lose everything.......

kittycorner

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I am soo sick to my stomach right now, my husband took a job a few months ago as an electrician apprentice, with the hopes of becoming an electrician someday. It meant that he took a $2/hr pay cut to do so. We are now slowly falling behind on all our bills and there is no hope of getting caught up. I am now afraid that we are going to lose everything. We both work full time and I have been picking up some overtime, but we just cannot seem to make ends meet. We have budgeted down to where all we pay is our bills and nothing else, no fun, no extra unneccessary items, and we still barely make it by. I also feel horrible, we have a 1 yr. daughter and I feel we have failed her because we cannot even provide her the things in life she deserves or needs sometimes. We are in no way living in squalor or anything like that she is clean, has a roof over her head and food in her belly, but it is a struggle for us to get there. I have been going without breakfast and lunch for months so that the money spent on that could go to getting her the things she needs. I am just scared and don't know what else to do. He is looking for a better paying job now just so we can get the bills paid, but until then we are both working extra to make up for it. Sorry I know this is long, but I had to get it off my chest before I exploded.
 

gailuvscats

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I guess you have a hefty mortgage, taxes and car payments? There are always ways to reduce expenses even if you are down to the limit. You should not be skipping food. There are ways to make plenty of food from one chicken and a load of vegetables and pasta. I am not sure for a one year old, but I imagine there are ways for her food as well. You need to become more creative. It sounds like you have a great life, one that many would envy. AT least eat a potato at lunch. What good are you to anybody if you become sick. Stop feeling like a victim and start thinking. Necessity is the mother of invention. YOu can do it.
 
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kittycorner

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It is not so much that I feel like a victim, just feel more overwhelmed. We are being as creative as we can with food, and I do eat dinner every night. We are also being sued by the hospital where our daughter was born, because we haven't been ab;e to pay them either. I am just feeling overwhelemed and lost at the moment. I didnt' come here for sympathy, just more to get it off my chest and out in the open.
 

gailuvscats

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Of course, I understand, It is a lot to be a young family trying to make it, especially now! Cripes the whole world is falling apart. Do what you can, please eat more than once a day. You'll be fine. Hang in, you will survive.
 

natalie_ca

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Sounds like you should be seriously considering personal bankruptcy.

I made the decision to do that at the end of November, 2007 because all of my money was going to rent and bills and I had less than $300 left over for everything else (food, medication, pet food, cleaning supplies, transportation, entertainment etc.) I couldn't even afford to get my hair cut.

It was a difficult decision to make, but once I made it it was like a building had been lifted off me. I have 45 days left to go before I get an official discharge meaning I'm free and clear of all my debts.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. If things are so bad that you are not "living" because all you are doing is paying debt with more debt being added on all of the time, it's a viable option that can give you a fresh start.

Since I declared bankruptcy all I have to pay is my rent, cable/phone/internet, and electricity. Plus I have to pay the bankruptcy trustee $200 per month until I'm discharged. The reduction of the stress alone was worth it.

If you own a house, you will lose it. Not sure about a car though. But if you are not in a good financial position to own a house at this time, renting is a good alternative and then buying another house later on when you are in a better financial position.

You should seriously look into it. Like I said, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
 

j_f_a

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When I was growing up we were hard pushed for cash, so my parents used to just cook one meal and then put my share in the blender. Different settings depending on my age so it wasn't always smooth. It was a lot cheaper than baby food though. A bit more effort, but cheaper.

Also my parents are now in a similar state to you so they're selling their car and buying a cheaper, more economical one. Saves a fortune over time.

There's a lot of little ways to ease your situation depending on your actual situation. Just be more economical. Also, stop watching tv and cut down on the internet. You'll be suprised how much it shaves off of the electricity. I had it down to where £5 ($10) would last me between 1 and two weeks.
 

butzie

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First, can you get food stamps and/or welfare? Might be better to try that before the bankruptcy thing.
 

capt_jordi

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If you have a child you should be accepted into WIC. It should get you cheeses breads milk cereals and other basics. Look into that and also foodstamps or another type program
 

mrblanche

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You may also be eligible for food stamps. Wouldn't hurt to check.
 

homeless

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If you cant get welfare or food stamps. As you may be at wit, If you make so much per year combined with your husband they wont allow you these state funded benefits. I'd consider bankruptcy. Even If you went on food stamps and welfare this wont take off your debts. If you fill a Chapter 7 all debt Is gone, period. There is nothing, no pay-offs, no law-suits. This does mean you could loose your home If your behind, because you'd have to file to everybody you owe money to. They would have to re-do your morgage loan, and lets IF your morgage company will after you file a bankruptcy claim towards there bank.

Or you could do a Chapter 14, which Is where you refirm all your in-debt loans. Where you settle a monthly fee to all your debts. This will withdraw any and ALL late fee's, and other bolony they put on your monthly bills. But you WILL have to pay back the debt's, you sketch out a fee that you agree apon to pay, and make low payments per month until the debt Is paid off. Depending on where you live a Chapter 7 cost around $200-$400 to file, then you have court cost, and lawyer fee's to cover. Which could total any where from $1,000-$1,600 sometimes more. Like I said depends where you live. This Is your best option, If your going In to law-suit you must file NOW! Do not wait to obtain legal help, this Is a VERY big deal. You do not withstand a Federal Hosptial law-suit, I'd advice you speak to a legal advisor right away. The longer you wait the more your finically In trouble. I wish you the best of luck
 

gailc

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If you have vehicle payments and are struggling please contact your company that services the loan(s). I working in auto finance for 20 years and so many people would struggle on without contacting us for help. Payment extensions can be given for 1-3 months depending on circumstances-these are added to the end of the loan. Also depending where you are in the loan it may be able to be rewritten for lower payments and a longer term. If you are less than a year into a loan the payments may not be lowered enough to make a difference.
Also if you have a mrtge -call the mrtge holder and explain the situation.
For utilities-many have budget programs where you are paying the same every month with an annual adjustment.
Is your credit good on your credit cards-call the credit card company and request a lower interest rate or tell them you will be switching to another company.
Is there a local food pantry you can go to for assistance.
If you fall ill from improper eating you will not be helping your family. Eggs are cheap and a good source of protein.
Your daughter is young and as long as she has her mother and father at this time see doesn't need alot of extras.
Take care.
 

goldenkitty45

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Bankrupcy is not the answer and it stays on your credit for 10 yrs. Avoid it if you can.

I'd call the major companies and see if you can make some arrangements. You can go to a credit counselor too and they should be able to work with the companys where you make one payment to them - they give the money to the creditors.

Cut up ALL credit cards now - do not use them at all - CC's are the worse thing as they are outrageous in interest fees. Get the basic necessities first, pay the mortgage, the car, and the food. Try and find a carpool or take public transportation to help out with car/gas prices.
 

renovia

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Can you get food stamps?

My parents were on them when I was young, it really helped them out alot
 
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kittycorner

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I agree cutting up the credit cards is a great idea. Growing up my family never had a single credit card and still don't, the only reason I do is because of my husband-he had them already when we got married. My husband talked to his mom tonight and she is going to help us get a loan it sounds like and then she will also help us out in the matter of the lawsuit. I would talk to my parents about borrowing money but they are really weird about money and I don't want to make them mad.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by GailC

Also if you have a mrtge -call the mrtge holder and explain the situation.
For utilities-many have budget programs where you are paying the same every month with an annual adjustment..
Actually, that's a good idea. If you have a house, oftentimes taking out a second mortgage to pay your debts helps.

But then you have to be really strict with yourself. Cut up the credit cards, cancel the line of credit, don't use those prepayday lone companies, and don't use bank overdraft. The idea is to get out of debt, not get into more.

Gail Vaz-Oxlade recommends that to home owners when she can.

http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/


You also need to get that second mortgage paid off ASAP too. So that means shoving income tax rebates and the occasional extra $100 into it too.
 

roxsam

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I agree...bankruptcy should be the very last resort!!!
there are things you can do to help. (check out daveramsey.com...he is awesome).

Ideas to help:
Cable and internet...do you have these? If so, cancel them. They are a luxury not a necessity. You can always go to a public library for internet use, and can ever rent DVDs for your daughter to watch. Most TVs can even pick up basic channels on the antennae for free (my dad does this).

Car payments? If you have a car you are making payments on, sell it, use cash to buy a decent used car. Nothing special just a car that gets you where you need to go.

Part time job. I know it may be hard having a daughter, but maybe one of you can get a 2nd PT job. Or maybe you can babysit other babies/kids at your house sometimes?

Have a garage/yard sale. Sell anything you don't absolutely need. I know it sucks to sell stuf you are fond of, but it sucks even more to have a ton of stuff, but no place to live or no food to eat.

I may have missed this...but do you rent or own? If you rent, think about moving to the smallest place you can deal with.

All this is just to get you back on your feet or until things get better. It is not fun, it sucks, but it is worth it. The most important thing is providing for oru daughter and for yourselves. Not eating 2 meals a day is HORRIBLE, if you get sick from that how can you care for your daughter? How could you go to work to make money for food for your daughter? DOn't just take the 'easy' way out(bankruptcy) until you have tried every other option.

Hang in there! You can do it. We are also have a bit of a hard time so I know it is very stressful!! DO research on ways you can get by for as cheap as possible!!!
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by roxsam

DOn't just take the 'easy' way out(bankruptcy)
I'm sorry but I will disagree with you on this. Bankruptcy is not an easy way out. It's darn hard. It involves credit counselling, submitting monthly income and expense reports, paying a monthly fee, bankruptcy court sometimes, and it stays on your credit record for 6 years. Add that to the embarrassment of having to do it in the first place. It's not an easy thing to do at all.
 

roxsam

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I'm sorry but I will disagree with you on this. Bankruptcy is not an easy way out. It's darn hard. It involves credit counseling, submitting monthly income and expense reports, paying a monthly fee, bankruptcy court sometimes, and it stays on your credit record for 6 years. Add that to the embarrassment of having to do it in the first place. It's not an easy thing to do at all.
I know it's not 'easy', that's why there are quotes around the word. Unfortunately, some people do declare bankruptcy before trying EVERY other option thinking it is their 'easy' way out. It stays on your record for a long time making a lot of things very difficult for many years. It is not easy. It is far from easy, and therefore shouldn't just be put out their as an option until there is NOTHING else that can be done. But people on here were recommending it, and I don't believe bankruptcy should just be thrown out there like that. I'm sorry but if someone has TV/internet (not saying the OP does), nice car, nice place to live, then they certainly are not doing everything they can to get by. We are struggling right now, but are still FAR from being bad off and we have already gotten 2nd PT jobs to help with paying things and staying afloat. If someone really wants to get on top of things and avoid a hard and embarrassing things like bankruptcy than sacrifices need to be made!!
 

gailuvscats

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I'm sorry but I will disagree with you on this. Bankruptcy is not an easy way out. It's darn hard. It involves credit counselling, submitting monthly income and expense reports, paying a monthly fee, bankruptcy court sometimes, and it stays on your credit record for 6 years. Add that to the embarrassment of having to do it in the first place. It's not an easy thing to do at all.
That's why it should be the absolute last resort. Not to mention all the people that are not getting paid. When I had my own business, I had a late payer, I kept calling, they kept promising, and THEn they declared bankruptcy. I was an independent contractor, struggling with my own business, living hand to mouth, and once they declared bankruptcy, I got a whopping 12 bucks for the 500 they owed me, and didn't get that till around two years later. I rejected a potential tenant from renting my house because she had recently declared bankruptcy. I understand that hardship can befall anyone, but I think if you have to resort to bankruptcy, and are not a victim of a sudden illness , then it was probably overextending and poor planning. Not someone I want to do business with.
 
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