About to lose everything.......

fwan

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All I want to say is that i was in your situation about two years ago, I was all by my self and couldnt keep up with the bills, couldnt afford food, and was skipping meals, I had great friends send me care packages for the kitties and have i ever been so greatful for it!

Please please please please do not skip meals and do not limit your self to food, please talk to your parents and maybe have some arrangements that they might cook stuff for you or buy you some groceries to help you out! I am saying this because after two - three months of not eating properly i came down with a fever and was not able to get up for 4 whole days, I had nobody to help me. Prior to getting so ill, i had lost concentration and was getting depression. My then collegues resented me and i felt really alone.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by gailuvscats

I understand that hardship can befall anyone, but I think if you have to resort to bankruptcy, and are not a victim of a sudden illness , then it was probably overextending and poor planning. Not someone I want to do business with.
In my situation it was a matter of sudden illness and long term disability that isn't indexed with inflation, so everything goes up in price except for my income. I managed as long as I could before I finally had to declare. I just had no other choice. One of the credit cards that I had refused to keep the interest at the lower negotiated rate and was upping it to 20%. When I told the guy that I couldn't manage that interest or a larger payment at this time, he said "we don't care. You're interest was lowered once already and we aren't prepared to do it again." When I told him I would have to declare bankruptcy if they did that, he said "I don't care."

So I declared. Had it not been for that I would have still been struggling. I've always paid my bills.

After my discharge I plan on writing a lovely letter to the CEO of MBNA and telling him that they need more employees like the one that forced me into a position of bankruptcy because "he didn't care", and I'll be sure to rub in the fact that I'm on my way back to work and now that I'm debt free I'll be able to bank $3,000 per month and they will get absolutely nothing.
 

goldenkitty45

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Bankruptcy is 10 yrs. I know, my ex and I had to file - we lost everything (house/car) and now I have good credit again in MY name. But ex apparently didn't learn his lesson - he ran up another bill for $7,000 (on who knows what) and had a court judgement against him in the past 5 yrs....lol
 

anmccleod

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Bankruptcy stays on your credit forever. After 7 years however, it doesn't count anymore. I am a loan officer in Arkansas.

I agree with getting rid of cable, internet, and credit cards.
I hope everything works out for you & your family.
 
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kittycorner

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We are in the process of talking with credit counselors and also my MIL is going to possible sign on a loan with us to help us get it all into one bill. I have already weeded out the non necessities and cable is one of them as well as our milk delivery and a few others. I appreciate everyones advice and thank you. I think I was just soo scared that I was freaking myself out, but things are looking a little brighter today.
 

laureen227

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i'm glad you're feeling better about things today - & that you have found places to save some money, as well! that the loan thing will work!
 

sweets

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Originally Posted by kittycorner

We are in the process of talking with credit counselors and also my MIL is going to possible sign on a loan with us to help us get it all into one bill. I have already weeded out the non necessities and cable is one of them as well as our milk delivery and a few others. I appreciate everyones advice and thank you. I think I was just soo scared that I was freaking myself out, but things are looking a little brighter today.
Before I took my job in retail credit with the bank, I signed with a credit counselor. What they don't tell you is that this also goes on your credit history but doesn't have an expiration date like a bankruptcy. Most of the underwriters I worked with told me counselling is more detrimental than bankruptcy.

Call your credit companies on your own. You can do the same thing the counselor does. Credit card companies don't want your merchandise. They just want their money so they are willing to work with you. Same thing with the hospital. Contact them about a payment plan.

I've been in your shoes. And it does feel like you are suffocating. But it sounds like you are working on it. Hang on just a little longer. I promise it will get better.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Bankruptcy is 10 yrs. I know, my ex and I had to file - we lost everything (house/car) and now I have good credit again in MY name. But ex apparently didn't learn his lesson - he ran up another bill for $7,000 (on who knows what) and had a court judgement against him in the past 5 yrs....lol
Here a first bankruptcy is 6 years. A second is 10 years I think.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by kittycorner

We are in the process of talking with credit counselors and also my MIL is going to possible sign on a loan with us to help us get it all into one bill.
Just make sure that you not only cut up the credit cards, that you cancel them as well, and don't get new ones! Live on cash and if you can't afford to buy something, go without or pick up extra work or sell some stuff in order to raise the money.

If you consolidate with a loan and rack up a bunch of credit cards again, you will be in a much worse situation than you already are.

And your husband has to be on the same page as you on this otherwise it just won't work.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by Sweets

Credit card companies don't want your merchandise. They just want their money so they are willing to work with you.
Not always. Because of MBNA's "I don't care" attitude when it came to the fact that I couldn't afford a higher interest or a higher monthly payment and would have to declare bankruptcy, they pushed me into a situation where I had no other alternative. Some places will work with you, others won't.
 

KittenKrazy

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I'm sorry but I will disagree with you on this. Bankruptcy is not an easy way out. It's darn hard. It involves credit counselling, submitting monthly income and expense reports, paying a monthly fee, bankruptcy court sometimes, and it stays on your credit record for 6 years. Add that to the embarrassment of having to do it in the first place. It's not an easy thing to do at all.
Linda, I couldn't have said it better myself...its not an easy road at all, but sometimes is the only option. Kittycorner, I can't offer financial help, because ATM, we're in very much the same boat, only I don't have two legged kids, just the furry ones....but if you need someone to talk to, just to get things off your mind/chest, contact me in any form that you find listed in my profile, I check in frequently during the day.
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by Sweets

Call your credit companies on your own. You can do the same thing the counselor does. Credit card companies don't want your merchandise. They just want their money so they are willing to work with you. Same thing with the hospital. Contact them about a payment plan.
umm... not always. i attempted that [about 20 years ago] when i got behind on my payments. they basically refused to do anything at all - kept telling me to call a counseling agency. i finally did - & they got paid, just like they would've had they worked w/me... but going thru the agency, the interest was lowered to 0. if they'd worked w/me, they'd have gotten interest.
 

misty8723

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Just make sure that you not only cut up the credit cards, that you cancel them as well, and don't get new ones! Live on cash and if you can't afford to buy something, go without or pick up extra work or sell some stuff in order to raise the money.
I'm not sure I agree about cancelling the credit cards.

I'm in the same boat, I'm in a hole so deep I doubt I'll get out anytime soon if ever, but I'm not cancelling my credit cards. Occassionally an emergency will come up, such as the one we just had having to get the hot water tank replaced. We would have just had to go without hot water if I hadn't had a card to put it on. And heaven forbit anything happen with the cats - I won't skimp on their care and the card will come out again.

I think the best thing to do is just put them away and don't be tempted to use them for things you don't need.

As for bankruptcy, it's a way out, but you also lose the ability to use credit for however many years it is these days (7? 10?). That's fine if you really can do it without credit, but it seems that nearly impossible these days.

Good luck! Life does get overwhelming at times, doesn't it?
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by Misty8723

I'm not sure I agree about cancelling the credit cards.

I'm in the same boat, I'm in a hole so deep I doubt I'll get out anytime soon if ever, but I'm not cancelling my credit cards. Occassionally an emergency will come up, such as the one we just had having to get the hot water tank replaced. We would have just had to go without hot water if I hadn't had a card to put it on. And heaven forbit anything happen with the cats - I won't skimp on their care and the card will come out again.
Then you will always be drowning in debt.



I think the best thing to do is just put them away and don't be tempted to use them for things you don't need.
Not everyone has the will power to do that. They charge and pay minimum payments resulting in huge amounts of interest and a growing balance.

As for bankruptcy, it's a way out, but you also lose the ability to use credit for however many years it is these days (7? 10?). That's fine if you really can do it without credit, but it seems that nearly impossible these days.
It's very easy to live on cash. I've been doing it for the past 8 months, and I plan on doing it even after I'm discharged from my bankruptcy.

So far as credit goes, there is no reason you can't get credit after a discharge from bankruptcy. My abilityt to get credit after my discharge is dependant on my being able to convince the credit company that I'm a good risk, despite having declared bankruptcy.

Will I get another credit card? Sure. It's convenient. But I'll also make sure that I prepay it so that I'm drawing from a balance instead of racking up debt.
 

mom of 4

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Bankruptcy laws are different in every state. For instance, in Texas and Oklahoma, you don't lose your house (there are limits to how much the house can be worth). And the laws have changed recently.

We lost everything in the oil field crash in 1982. Companies couldn't pay us and the domino effect killed us. The law permitted us to keep our house and cars. We cut back amazingly. My husband lost his job with the crash, so I found a job that would permit me to care for the children (including a newborn) while he found a new job. No extras for us - sandwiches at work, no cable (this was before internet), basic phone plan (before cell phones), limited driving. We made it and I am proud of the cutbacks we could and did make.
 
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