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Having babies.....! Just need some advice:)

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Of course we all know I am getting hitched (BE AFRAID!) on the 19th. We want a baby soooo badly, but everyone seems to think we need to wait. Someone even suggested at least a YEAR before we even start trying. UGH. I think that sucks!

What do you guys think?
post #2 of 17
I think it depends on the couple. But for now in most cases I say just wait a little, have some time to enjoy your marriage before kids come into your life, and this includes pregnancy.
post #3 of 17
I agree..Take the time to enjoy yourselves for a little while, 6 months to a year at least, because once you have a baby, everything changes all around you....my dh and I didn't get the chance to spend time together because I became pregnant before we were even married I do wish that we would have been more careful and waited a while..this is just my honest opinion though...Whatver you decide though, I am sure you will make the right choice.. Congrats on getting married though!!
post #4 of 17
Not to be nosy but how long have you been together and did you live together befor the wedding? If this relationship has not had the experience of life together I would suggest waiting for a short period, otherwise go for it when you are ready!
post #5 of 17
I got pregnant with my first child a few weeks after I got married and I can tell you that adjusting to married life (we didn't live together before we were married) along with adjusting to pregnancy is not something I'd recommend. I wish we'd waited a year so we'd have had time to adjust to one thing at a time.
post #6 of 17
Thread Starter 
We lived together for nearly a year and a half and bought the house in July. Honestly...it already feels like I am married. I don't know if it will feel any differently even after we are officially married or not.

I am almost 31..he is 33...and while that might seem young, I want at least 2 kids and I don't want to be 60 when they graduate from school!

*sigh* I don't know what to do! My grandmother told me Saturday night she would LOVE to have a great-grandchild and I really would love to give her one while she is still here.
post #7 of 17
Well, in that case I say go for it!! If you both really want this, theres no reason why you shouldn't. I'm glad I had my kids when I was young, it was easier to keep up with them
post #8 of 17
You have to do what is right for you, however I agree marriage is quite an adjustment. Though my husband and I were so in love (and still are!!) the first year can be trying. It's a lot to get used to, and despite good intentions feelings can get hurt because you're still learning things about each other and how to communicate, and well...mesh. A baby is wonderful, and if you really feel this is the time, then go for it. However, it might be good to give you and your husband some time to get used to life together and strengthen that bond first.
post #9 of 17
I definately agree..since you all have lived together for so long now then go for it....Kudos and Good Luck TTC!
post #10 of 17
Didn't read your last post (guess I'm falling behind) Well in that case, good luck!!
post #11 of 17
Originally posted by Melissa
Well, in that case I say go for it!! If you both really want this, theres no reason why you shouldn't. I'm glad I had my kids when I was young, it was easier to keep up with them
is 25-26 young or not? My husband and I also wand to have babies (2). But he things it's better to wait. SO thanks, I'll show your post to him. And we'll have our little baby (wish I had twice ... or twins... Hope you understood me, it's too late at night now and I'm tired to think
post #12 of 17
I think you should just follow your heart...if it "feels" right, then go ahead and do it!!! But if you aren't sure...wait a few months and see how you feel then. Keep us posted!!!
post #13 of 17
I say go for it,you might not get preg.right away! I had my first 1 1/2 years after we got married.I was 19, Ted 21.Both of my boy's were out of the house by the time I was 40!
post #14 of 17
My advise is...go for it! Right now!
You have been living together for a year and a half, you both want children, you are getting married, so obviously you have decided to be together for the rest of your lives, so I see no point waiting. I cant see that married life will be that much different from the "live together" live you allready have.
In Iceland, the "norm" is to meet someone, live together, have children, and THEN - MAYBE get married!!!
My s/o and I hade only known each other for a year and a half - and lived together almost as long , and we really wanted children, and we were over 30, so if we were to have more than 1, we felt there was nothing to wait for. I feel, after having lived together for a year and a half you know if you are planning to be together or not, married or not.
Then you never know if you will succed right away, and if you dont succed untill after a long time, you´re gonna wish you starded trying sooner (I know a girl with that problem). So with us, after a year and a half, we thought, we are going to be together forever, we´re ready. We were so lucky to succed the first month we tried, but you never know. Now I just turned 34 and we have a 10 month old pearl.
If we were 23 or something I guess we would have waited a while longer, although we might not have, I dont know! I was in a relationship for 6 years before, and trying for children was never in the picture, although I wanted children someday, the relationship just wasn´t right, but with my s/o I know I have my future...so why wait...
Oh, no I did it again...this is soooooo long already...sorry!
Good luck with your plans, keep us posted!
post #15 of 17
My oldest son was born 10 months and 4 days, after I got married. (Didn't THAT have the old biddies at church talking!) I went from home to marriage and it made that first year kind of rough.

If you've been living together, for a while, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, though.

I was 17 and 20, when my kids were born. I was young and energetic enough to keep up with them and now they're out of the house and I'm still young enough to enjoy it!
post #16 of 17
I'm young, too, and just recently got engaged myself, so I don't have much advice for you! I just wish you luck, no matter what you do, and hope you'll do what ever makes you happiest! That's the important thing!
post #17 of 17
Originally posted by Cherry
is 25-26 young or not?
no, I don't think so, I was 23, when I had my first, 25 when I had my 2nd, and 27 when I had my 3rd....at least I don't think it is young....
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