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Can someone please tell my husband I don't need a tan???

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Every summer we go through the same thing. He wants me to get a tan like I did when I was younger. I try to explain to him, me getting a tan requires weeks of tanning beds and burns (my skin is pretty fair so it takes a few burns before it actually starts tanning). I'm 38 years old, and my skin won't take well to burning now. Plus, I lived in the tropics for 4 years and had a CONSTANT tan (and some of the worst burns of my life) so lord knows what damage I've done to my skin! I mean, tanning beds were fine when I was 25 or 26, but I wouldn't even subject a poor bed to me in a thong now!

I use the moisturizer that has a slow progressive tanning color built it, but he likes actual "tan lines". He thinks they're sexy. I keep telling him I still have tan lines...they are just now more like farmer tan lines!
post #2 of 16
Try being married to a 1/2 Asian guy! Colin gets SOOO dark in the sun and i look like a ghost in comparison Because him and part of his family get so tan (and stay that way), they do not understand why i just don't go and tan eithor. I tried to explaine to him that i do not tan, i just burn -and that skin cancer is entirely preventable- but it's just the way he was raised I FINALLY have been on him soo much that i've got him to where he'll wear sunscreen now when he's gonna be outside- but that was practically a battle itself! It took me months to drill into his head that any changes in his skin tone as a result of the sun is a sign of skin damage from the sun and that he is not immune from developing skin cancer some day just because his skin is dark. He's still kind of difficult about it but i think he's slowly grasping on

I just get a fake tan when i need a little color. I go to this girl at a local salon that actually airbrushes it on you -so it doesn't streak and the coverage is better. The color and lasting power is also really good too! I like the fact that it's totally safe and won't give me skin cancer When i go outside i normally wear at least SPF 70 on a daily basis- it only takes me a matter of minutes to really get burnt- i don't think it's worth the chance as i already had some pretty bad burns in my childhood because my parents didn't make me wear sunscreen
post #3 of 16
Tanning? What's that? I haven't been able to tan since I was about 19. I never get anything more then a burn that hurts and then fades into paleness.
So no, you don't need to tan, tell your hubby if he wants to see a tan, to go and get one himself..
post #4 of 16
From what I've read we have done most of our sun damage in our early 20's already!!
I have a tan but thats because I work outside and sunscreen with high #'s are a must!!
But I have many farmer tan lines as I will where different lengths of shorts, socks, tank tops and at home sports bras.
I've been on vacations where one sees the older (can say how old) but I'm 50 so I'm thinking they are older and they must have tanned heavily all there lives and their skin esp the face looks terrible. Does he really want a prematurely aged wife just for the sake of a tan???
post #5 of 16
get some paint at the hardware store
post #6 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC View Post
...
I've been on vacations where one sees the older (can say how old) but I'm 50 so I'm thinking they are older and they must have tanned heavily all there lives and their skin esp the face looks terrible. Does he really want a prematurely aged wife just for the sake of a tan???


I've always shunned the sun and people think I'm 15 years younger than I am. I got carded just before my 47th birthday! (Of course the sign said, "we card for 35 years old and under") but still, lol!

Pale skin can be really beautiful if you play it up.
post #7 of 16
If he's really beggin for it (and if the tan lines might spice things up and you're lookin for that lol) how about hittin your local tanning salon for a spray tan? You can put on a sexy bathing suit and get your tan lines that way and from what I've read/heard the spray tans are safe and you're not frying your skin. (I have a pool in the backyard, so that's my "tanning salon")

And yes, whatever damage is gonna be done is probably done already - my mom recently had skin cancer (she's 53) and her dermatologist told her the likely cause is rooted from her being out in the sun as a young child - like 10 years old - she's fine and it was very mild cancer and just cutting it and some good tissue out did the trick... I use sunscreen now (although probably not as strong as I should, I do love my tans) but at 24 and having been in the sun basically my whole life, I'm probably damaged already as well
post #8 of 16
My Husbands Ex Wife has skin cancer from tanning beds and my friend died from it. I never used them and can pass for 25 even though I am way older.
post #9 of 16
You can get a tan if you look after your skin really well, you can get sunscreens that dont make your skin paler. Personally pale skin doesn't suit me, it makes me look really sick and ill most of the time even when wearing make up. I can still be pale but i need at least two or three shades darker to look healthy.
I was in the sun the whole of my life, and was a very dark child/teen until i moved to Germany, this year summer has been very crispy feels like winter or Autumn for me. Now i cant wait to get back to australia and slap on the sun screen and go to a normal beach with normal weather!!
I also put on aloe vera as soon as i hit the shade or after being in the sun for a while to make my skin healthier.
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by BuzbyJLC10 View Post
If he's really beggin for it (and if the tan lines might spice things up and you're lookin for that lol) how about hittin your local tanning salon for a spray tan? You can put on a sexy bathing suit and get your tan lines that way and from what I've read/heard the spray tans are safe and you're not frying your skin. (I have a pool in the backyard, so that's my "tanning salon")
Spray tans are nice, but they do come off, and onto your clothes (especially your suit when you're swimming, etc.).

My SIL got one before we all went to Disney World and it was pretty much gone by the end of the week. But if he's willing to shell out the $$ for you to keep it up...

Good luck, either way!
post #11 of 16
I have mostly always stayed out of the sun, even as a kid. We lived in a house with pool for 2 years, and I tanned then. I have very pale skin, and cannot go in the direct sunlight any more, or I will look like I am rusting, due to lupus. The little bit I have been out has made my arms all blotchy looking.
post #12 of 16
My skin doesn't tan anymore. It did when I was a kid, but as an adult I'm very pale and burn if out in the sun too much. I'm so white I think I probably reflect sun back to space like the glaciers. My aunt had skin cancer, and I don't want to risk getting that either. Her cancer developed from tanning too much. When I do go out I use at least SPF 30. I try to wear my hat if I'm going to be outside for any length of time also.

The positive side is I still look very young. I'm 31 and still get carded for alcohol. I hope that in 10 yrs I still get carded.
post #13 of 16
Interestingly there was a doctor on the CBC radio station I listen to each morning discussing this very thing. He was saying that most damage is done to our skin when we were young and the cells have a high turnover due to us growing so quickly, i.e., if damage is done by the sun to a cell (which is what happens), when that cell divides the damage is carried forward into the new cells.

He said tanning beds were especially bad since they exposed us to 3-8 times more harmful UVA rays than the sun at noon. He also said it was important to protect agains the UVB rays as well.

Now, having said all that, I have never been a sun worshipper and I honestly do feel my skin has less wrinkles and aging than some of my friends who are 10-15 years younger than me. I have barely any lines around my eyes (the lids sag a bit though), my face is pretty much unlined and I'm 61, soon to be 62.

I've been on vacation to Barbados and other Caribbean locations but I don't sit in the sun - I always sat in the shade while my friends baked on the beach.

My husband is like yours, he thinks a tan looks healthy and sexy - I think looks are deceiving and have told him if he wants to get tanned he may do as he pleases but that I won't be sitting out there getting brown. I'll just wait until the age spots blend together to form a nice even brown.

Our daughter has very, very white skin - she does not go out tanning. The Lord gave her light skins and she is protecting it for which I'm grateful.
post #14 of 16
My grandfather and an aunt had their noses reconstructed due to skin cancer. I have another aunt with scar all over from skin cancer. She used to tan by her pool till she was in her 70's. The number of kids in their teens with skin cancer is growing.

Yes, I have done a lot of damage to my skin growing up. I am a fair redhead whose skin burned, then peeled back to white. But that doesn't mean I can't take care of my skin now. I use SPF 70. I regularly wear a hat, long sleeves or a shawl, and a long skirt or pants even in the summer. I also check my skin monthly for anything new.

Tans as a form of beauty is fairly recent. Wickipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_tanning)

Go for the spray tan. Its safer for your skin!
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Every summer we go through the same thing. He wants me to get a tan like I did when I was younger.
Ask him if he wants you to look like this?

Skin Cancer Pictures

http://boomer-books.com/boomerblog/archives/29
post #16 of 16
I took care of a SIL that had skin cancer on her lower back, and she didn't know it until it had spread inside her to her organs and she was dead in 6 months.
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