Counseling?

pipersjo · Jul 9, 2008

Has anyone ever gone to counseling? I just can't handle everything that has been thrown at me lately and I need to talk to someone. I have never gone to counseling and have never even looked for a counselor, but I think it is desperately needed at this point. I am REALLY close to losing my job, I either can't sleep at all or sleep all day, and I am spinning into a really bad depression. I am not suicidal, but i am afraid that I might start getting worse. I know that you guys can't help me with my problems, but if anyone has experience looking for counselors, I would appreciate it.

KittenKrazy · Jul 9, 2008

yup, hub and I both have been to marriage counselling and separate psychiatric/mood counselling. I think we just started in the yellow pages and got lucky that we liked the first one that we tried. Good luck, hon....things do get better, trust me!

calico2222 · Jul 9, 2008

I haven't, althought I probably should have a few times, especially after my mom passed. I know there were a few threads dealing with it so I'm sure you will get some good advice. I just wanted to give you

We're here for you.

belongstoevie · Jul 9, 2008

I'm glad you're considering it, it's amazing what just talking about it can do, and especially talking with a counselor.

I have been to two, for the same period of time in my life. Now, I'm the first to admit I've had a pretty good life, so even that time, my worst, probably doesn't compare to what others have and are going through. For me, it was multiple deaths in my immediate family (that I was primary or secondry care giver for) in a four month period, which was also the first four months of my life away from home and my first semester at UC Berkeley.

So while I can't give you much advice in finding one- I went through what was offered at school- I can give you hugs

and vibes that you find a good one and that he or she helps. All I can say is, if you do have a service available through work, you should probably start with that.

You're right that we can't help, but you have our support and we're always here to listen.

butzie · Jul 9, 2008

I am the queen of knowing about and going to counseling/therapy.

Usually, the first place to go is to a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. That's the real counseling part. See if you can find one who has treated depression. Ask friends near you if they have ever gone to a psychologist and ask for recommendations.

It is tough,sometimes, to get an appointment because they are busy and have standing appointments. One place to start, if you have health insurance, with a list of the psychologists who are preferred providers (if that is your type of plan). Is there a university near you where they have a graduate psych program? The grad students have to get clinical hours in and usually charge lesser fees.

A psychiatrist is a doctor and only the psychiatrist can prescribe the drugs.

So, if you see a psychologist and she determines that you need anti-depressants, she may recommend a psychiatrist for you.

You can PM me anytime you want to discuss this and definitely do so if you get very depressed.

Rosemary

pipersjo · Jul 9, 2008

Originally Posted by butzie

I am the queen of knowing about and going to counseling/therapy.

Usually, the first place to go is to a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. That's the real counseling part. See if you can find one who has treated depression. Ask friends near you if they have ever gone to a psychologist and ask for recommendations.

This is part of the problem. I just moved 4 hours away from family and friends to be near my bf who now says that he doesn't want to be with me and the rest of my family is 12 hours away near my grandfather that is dying. I have no friends here yet, but I do have health insurance. I have thought about calling an emergency line because I am to the point that I can't stop crying, but I don't want to take resources from someone that is worse than me. I tried calling 1counselor, but as you said they already have so many appointments that it would be 2 weeks before I would get in. All of the other 1s that I saw closed 2 hours ago and I can't make an appointment right now.

cheshirecat · Jul 9, 2008

My doctor referred me to a counselor. The place that he recommended had a number of counselors that specialized in different areas. When you call for an appointment you have a quick interview and then are assigned to someone who fits your needs.

I have been told that sometimes you have to try more than one. I was lucky to get someone that I really liked.

I saw her for two and a half years. And would still be seeing her if she had not changed practices and moved out of town.

In my opinion it was the best thing I have ever done. You should try it.

trillcat · Jul 9, 2008

Wow, it sounds like you indeed have a whole lot to deal with right now, my goodness! You are being strong dealing with all this, though it may not seem like it to you right now. You have recognized you need to get yourself some outside help, and that is a major step to getting yourself better, believe me. Do you belong to a church or a group that can give you some guidance?
While you are looking for a counselor to talk to, you can go online to many, many message boards to let some of your feelings out. Just do a google and lurk around till you find one that suits you. Just reading other peoples stories can help a great deal, even if you choose not to speak (so to speak) in the group.
You WILL get through this tough time!

addiebee · Jul 9, 2008

There is a web site out there called ratemds.com

Yes, they're medical doctors, but it could be a place to start... I see psychiatrists on the list...

There might be other kinds of online referrals for psychologists, too. I just don't know of any.

And to answer your original question - I have been through therapy, too. It helped me immensely.

There is ABSOLUTELY NO shame in it...

And it sounds like you need a friend and advocate right now.

Hon - try iVillage as a resource:
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/depression-bipolar

butzie · Jul 9, 2008

Originally Posted by pipersjo

This is part of the problem. I just moved 4 hours away from family and friends to be near my bf who now says that he doesn't want to be with me and the rest of my family is 12 hours away near my grandfather that is dying. I have no friends here yet, but I do have health insurance. I have thought about calling an emergency line because I am to the point that I can't stop crying, but I don't want to take resources from someone that is worse than me. I tried calling 1counselor, but as you said they already have so many appointments that it would be 2 weeks before I would get in. All of the other 1s that I saw closed 2 hours ago and I can't make an appointment right now.

Please call an emergency line NOW. If you were thinking about doing so, then do it. Can you call your family just to talk to persons who love you? And why do you think others need resources more than you do? Remember that you are a wonderful person, a special person, a cat lover. You deserve to have someone listen to you.

The emergency room at a hospital may be able to help you get a referral very quickly and give you some medication to stop crying.

I am sorry that I used caps for "now." Actually, I am not. Please call a help line or go to the hospital if you can't stop crying.

PM me now or whenever you want.

Rosemary

miagi's_mommy · Jul 9, 2008

I have been to counseling. It isn't easy to trust them though since they are basically a stranger to you. It took me 2 years to be able to trust my counselor. I don't trust people easily. she dropped me as a client though because she got a new job. I probably need to go to another one soon. I really hope things get better for you and a counselor does help!

I hope you get the help you need. If you have a doctor they could know someone who would be of great help as your counselor.

natalie_ca · Jul 9, 2008

Yes, I have gone to counselling several times

I found it very helpful.

The first time I entered counselling was back in 1994 when I started to remember having been sexually abused as a child. I couldn't afford to pay for it, so I contacted one of the Universities here and asked if they had a grad student program, and they did. So it was mutually beneficial. I got the help I needed and the student got some practice.

The sessions were taped, but that was ok. I was assured that it was for the student and the teacher's eyes only so that the teacher could help the student with what they should have or could have said at any given moment.

We also have counselling available through where I work, and I've gone there a few times. I have a great deal of insight into myself and my personality and know what my flaws are. Some I work on and some I actually like

But sometimes it just helps to dump on someone and talk things out even though you are technically coming to the realization of things on your own.

I would also suggest that you see a doctor and get on an antidepressant. The combination of therapy with an antidepressant cannot be beat. When you have a chemical imbalance going on inside your brain, no amount of counselling will help. You need to treat the cause and the symptoms. Medication and counselling will do that.

And don't feel ashamed or like you are crazy for seeking counselling. There is nothing to be ashamed of

pipersjo · Jul 9, 2008

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Yes, I have gone to counselling several times

I found it very helpful.

The first time I entered counselling was back in 1994 when I started to remember having been sexually abused as a child. I couldn't afford to pay for it, so I contacted one of the Universities here and asked if they had a grad student program, and they did. So it was mutually beneficial. I got the help I needed and the student got some practice.

The sessions were taped, but that was ok. I was assured that it was for the student and the teacher's eyes only so that the teacher could help the student with what they should have or could have said at any given moment.

We also have counselling available through where I work, and I've gone there a few times. I have a great deal of insight into myself and my personality and know what my flaws are. Some I work on and some I actually like

But sometimes it just helps to dump on someone and talk things out even though you are technically coming to the realization of things on your own.

I would also suggest that you see a doctor and get on an antidepressant. The combination of therapy with an antidepressant cannot be beat. When you have a chemical imbalance going on inside your brain, no amount of counselling will help. You need to treat the cause and the symptoms. Medication and counselling will do that.

And don't feel ashamed or like you are crazy for seeking counselling. There is nothing to be ashamed of

I'm not necessarily ashamed-- I have dealt with depression my entire life and the only time that I got help was when i was a child. I don't want to deal with it alone anymore, but I don't really want to be on antidepressants either. I thought if I started with counseling, I could see how I felt and go from there. I have to admit, I am going to try to get of my lease here and go back to WV. Maybe being closer to my family and friends will help too.

pookie-poo · Jul 9, 2008

I've been to several counselors for my depression issues. The first few that I tried, just didn't 'click'. I finally found one that I felt very comfortable with, and saw her for several years. Unfortunately, she came down with a very aggressive throat cancer, and passed away within a few months of diagnosis. After she passed away, I tried to find another counselor (when I was having issues with a controlling, passive-aggressive, and abusive relationship that I was trying to get out of alive.) The one I found was helpful, but I kept comparing her to Darlene, the counselor who passed away, and once the crisis was over, I didn't continue seeing her. I've been very lucky for the last 8 or 9 years, and haven't had too many issues with my seasonal depression. My GP prescribes Prozac for me in the fall, and I take it until spring comes, and things seem to stay on a pretty even keel for me. If, for some reason, something changed and the Prozac didn't help anymore, I wouldn't hesitate to start another search for the 'right' counselor.

Good luck. I will certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers. My heart goes out to you

cococat · Jul 9, 2008

Go get some help, at the very least you will learn more about yourself and be able to talk to someone on your side about important things. You don't have to take meds to benefit, but keep an open mind.

carolpetunia · Jul 9, 2008

Originally Posted by pipersjo

...I have thought about calling an emergency line because I am to the point that I can't stop crying, but I don't want to take resources from someone that is worse than me...

Oh, bless your heart -- your need is absolutely legitimate, and it's your turn to receive some help now. But you're right, it usually takes awhile to get in. So please go ahead tomorrow and make an appointment with a counselor... and in the meantime, you know we're all here for you if you need to talk some things over right now.

And let me make a suggestion: it might sound trivial, but when I'm going through difficult times, it really helps me to find some project to immerse myself in. Sometimes I'll just pile up a bunch of really intense novels that keep me totally focused on the characters, rather than on my own life... or sometimes I'll do something creative, like painting or needlework or (my favorite) beading. You could go get a kit from the craft store and build yourself a model of the Titanic or something!

It's an avoidance technique, of course, but you're going to be working with a counselor soon to deal with what's going on. If you can distract yourself for the moment by putting on some good music and knitting sweaters into the wee hours, well... that's a healthy way of coping.

Make the call! And PM anytime, sweetie.

calico2222 · Jul 10, 2008

Originally Posted by pipersjo

I'm not necessarily ashamed-- I have dealt with depression my entire life and the only time that I got help was when i was a child. I don't want to deal with it alone anymore, but I don't really want to be on antidepressants either. I thought if I started with counseling, I could see how I felt and go from there. I have to admit, I am going to try to get of my lease here and go back to WV. Maybe being closer to my family and friends will help too.

Honey, that is what I was going to suggest. Talking to someone would help, but nothing can replace the support of family and friends. They know you the best and it sounds like you are basically alone where you are. Going back home isn't something to be ashamed of...it is going back to where people know and care about you. It's a time to regroup. Even if you can't get out of your lease, I would at least go back for a visit. You have a lot to deal with right now, and you can't deal with it all by yourself. And like so many have said, we're here if you need to vent or talk. My PM box is always open.

emrldsky · Jul 10, 2008

Right before I saw this thread I called the employee assistance program and set up a counseling appt. Through my work, I can talk to an EAP counselor, and they can either continue counseling me or recommend someone that would be better suited for my needs.

My appt is today at 1:30 and I am VERY nervous about it. I'll post an update about it when I get back, and maybe that will help you take a step in the right direction. *hugs*

pipersjo · Jul 10, 2008

Originally Posted by emrldsky

Right before I saw this thread I called the employee assistance program and set up a counseling appt. Through my work, I can talk to an EAP counselor, and they can either continue counseling me or recommend someone that would be better suited for my needs.

My appt is today at 1:30 and I am VERY nervous about it. I'll post an update about it when I get back, and maybe that will help you take a step in the right direction. *hugs*

I called our EAP and they referred me to an affiliate because they couldn't get me in until August. Called the affiliate and left a message a half an hour ago. I tried to call back the EAP and of course they are at lunch now. It seems like whenever I need help I can't get it. Maybe I am just being impatient, but I don't ask for help very often and this usually happens to me. I know that I need to do something quick. I am already having physical symptoms (I have lost 5 lbs in 2 days because I can't eat). I just need someone to talk to.

emrldsky · Jul 10, 2008

That's unfortunate that they aren't able to help you right now. I would just wait until after lunch and see what happens then.

Call the emergency number if you're still not helped by the end of business today.

Counseling?

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