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Rant about parents, and older brother. ( cat related )

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Ok first of all, I have a DSH kitten named Yuki.

I'm currently feeding her:
Dry - Orijen
Canned - Nature's Variety Instinct
Raw - Nature's Variety Raw

As most of you already know, those are good quality cat/kitten food. Here's the problem: I have parents who have little knowledge of cats, and brother who knows nothing about cats.

My parents complain about
:

1. How I spend so much just for a cat. My dad brags about how he had cats almost half of his lifetime, and that he knows what cats should eat. He mentioned how he used to feed his cats ' people food ' ( rice with fish / meat ) and that they did well on it.

Ok, that is really stupid. Cat's aren't meant to eat grains ... and I know for a fact that he knows nothing about cat nutrition! I mean, come on... back when I was little, I used to have Siamese cat... and he gave her purina cat chow ( which is awful ) and switched to dog food simply because it was cheaper. ( Note that I used to live in a different country, which is Indonesia back then ) They suggested that I should feed her cheaper food, because she'd still do ' well ' on it... according to them at least. HECK NO!

2. How the cat is so thin.

Ok, first of all... NO! my cat isn't skinny / thin for crying out loud. They kept bugging me couple of times every week on how they think that Yuki is underfed. They told me to ' fatten ' up the cat, and even my big brother butted in saying that the cat needed to be fat so she'd look cuter. She looks cute as it is... and I definately don't want her to be fat because of health problems! DUR!?

The worst thing is: When I try to educate them about cats, they don't even listen to me and pretty much implied that my dad is the-god-of-knowledge and that I know nothing about cats. Grr...

Have you guys ever known anyone like this? perhaps, someone in your family too?
post #2 of 21
Yeah I know a couple people like that (my parents and others). If they want to be ignorant and won't listen to you, there's really not much you can do. They have their beliefs and you have yours. Just keep doing what you know is best.
post #3 of 21
Firstly, big *HUGS*

Your parents must be the clones of mine! I wish I could help you, but obviously if I knew the answer I wouldn't be in this situation myself. I know how frusterating it is! My grandma is an avid dog lover, has tons of vet books, and knows about proper nutrition (dogs), but when I try to get her to talk sense into them she just brushes me off, dogs are waaaaaaay better than cats, DUH! She has cats, but she is just nuts over her dogs, the cats are just a financial burden, but it's no prob taking a dog to the vet and spending 2,000 at the vets. I just think that ALL animals are precious in their own way (except creepy crawleys, ewwww) and it just drives me looney!

If you find the answer, PM me pronto, LOL!
post #4 of 21
I know how you feel. Don't even get me started on my step-sister and her husband and their track record with pets. Or even my own mom. Gah.

Source of Frustration #1

My SO thinks it's ridiculous how I feed the cats different brands of wet food (I tend to buy whatever I can find on sale that is still good quality, plus I like mixing it up a little because that way they don't miss out on some nutrient that a food might be lacking). We got in a big argument about Science Diet. I made the comment that his parent's dog's skin condition might improve if they stopped feeding her Science Diet and switched her to something more premium. This led to "well, vets wouldn't recommend it if it wasn't high quality" and "you think you know more about pet food than a vet?", etc. He wasn't buying the fact that vets promote it for financial reasons. I have at least convinced him to feed his dog Nutro Natural, so I'm happy about that.


Story #2 - a slightly related story but it has to do with frustration over the whole issue of cats not using litter boxes

Right now we are living in my SO's parents' vacation home and because it's so large, we have the cats confined to a huge playroom upstairs. My cats have never had litter box problems, ever. I scoop their boxes every day, they have 2 large uncovered ones in the room. There are huge mats under the boxes so it doesn't track all over the carpet. The thing is, there is not much you can do to make the room not smell when the cat *just* went poop. So the house cleaner happened to be in the room right after a cat had just used the box and so obviously the room smelled.

So this gets back to my SO's mom and the house cleaner tells her how hard it is to remove the smell of cat pee and how you never get it out and how she has clients who have cats that pee on everything, etc. (Keep in mind, my cats have not done this. The room smelled like poop, and it was all in the litterbox). So my SO's mom is convinced that the cats will pee everywhere and asks if we can keep the cats outside (which is sad, because even if you are willing to have outdoor cats, and I'm not, we are living in the middle of mountains where there are tons of coyotes and all kinds of wildlife). My SO's family had 3 cats growing up and they were all outdoor cats only (and amazingly lived to be 15-ish and 20). My cats have never been outside and it just wasn't an option and my SO knew that, I would rather board the cats for 2 months while we were staying at this house than let them outside. We're house guests though so you don't want to be rude, it's not our house. My SO talked her out of that quickly. I don't fault her at all for being uncomfortable with cats, it's her house and I completely understand. What makes me frustrated is how convinced she is about how the cats will pee on everything.

So anyway, a few days later we are back at my SO's parents' house (not the one we are staying in) and my SO's sister is over. She is talking about how much she misses having cats and so I asked her what happened to her cat. She said that it peed everywhere and wouldn't use the litter box and they were moving somewhere that wouldn't allow a cat so they don't have it anymore (I took this to mean it ended up in a shelter). So my SO's mom made some comment about how "you just never get the smell of cat pee out." So I started talking about how when cats don't use their litter box, the majority of the time it's because they have a urinary tract infection or their box isn't being cleaned everyday, and that all you need to get cat pee out is a good enzyme cleaner and if you are still missing it, to use a black light, etc. I think all of this went in one ear and out the other, and that they both continue to think that cats just pee everywhere and there's nothing to be done about it and it has nothing to do with how clean the box is. His sister was just like "well, you know how cats are, they pee everywhere."

Wow, that was kind of long. I guess I'm just annoyed that people are so quick to dismiss an animal for problems that are so easily fixed.
post #5 of 21
Actually... my Mom and my DD are major cat lovers. We pretty much agree on the spoiling of cats. My Mom did have the kitten I gave her declawed. She never mentioned it before she did it, so I didn't have the chance to change her mind. But she does regret it VERY MUCH, and would never do it to another cat. Percy (Mom's cat) is now 10 years old and the declawing made him a grumpy biter. He's unpredictable that way.
Personally, it sounds like you are taking very good of your kitty and I wouldn't take what anyone else says to heart. Keep on taking care of Yuki like you have been. You're a good kitty Mommy!
post #6 of 21
I know how you feel. Don't even get me started on my step-sister and her husband and their track record with pets. Or even my own mom. Or my SO's sister and how she's convinced that cats just pee everywhere and it has nothing to do with how clean the box is or that maybe they have a UTI. Gah.

My SO thinks it's ridiculous how I feed the cats different brands of wet food (I tend to buy whatever I can find on sale that is still good quality, plus I like mixing it up a little because that way they don't miss out on some nutrient that a food might be lacking). We got in a big argument about Science Diet. I made the comment that his parent's dog's skin condition might improve if they stopped feeding her Science Diet and switched her to something more premium. This led to "well, vets wouldn't recommend it if it wasn't high quality" and "you think you know more about pet food than a vet?", etc. He wasn't buying the fact that vets promote it for financial reasons. I have at least convinced him to feed his dog Nutro Natural, so I'm happy about that.
post #7 of 21
Thread Starter 
This happened just now:

So I was feeding my kitten half raw food, half canned food... and so I removed kibble food bowl away and placed it on a table where she couldn't reach. I was planning to remove it for a couple of hours... however, few minutes after my cat finished eating the food, my stupid brother put back the cat food bowl in the usual place and the cat ate the kibbles! I was mad and told him that she's not supposed to eat the kibbles right after she ate raw / canned food and he was like " eff the feeding guidelines because she needs to get fatter "

I told him " You don't even take care of the cat, nor help me pay for the cat's expenses... you dont even want to do the litter cleaning job... what gives you the right to tell me what to do, especially when you're WRONG? "

& he simply repiled with " so? "

Oh my gosh... !@#$%
post #8 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki View Post
This happened just now:

So I was feeding my kitten half raw food, half canned food... and so I removed kibble food bowl away and placed it on a table where she couldn't reach. I was planning to remove it for a couple of hours... however, few minutes after my cat finished eating the food, my stupid brother put back the cat food bowl in the usual place and the cat ate the kibbles! I was mad and told him that she's not supposed to eat the kibbles right after she ate raw / canned food and he was like " eff the feeding guidelines because she needs to get fatter "

I told him " You don't even take care of the cat, nor help me pay for the cat's expenses... you dont even want to do the litter cleaning job... what gives you the right to tell me what to do, especially when you're WRONG? "

& he simply repiled with " so? "

Oh my gosh... !@#$%
Oh wow.. I can't stand it when I try and explain something like that to another person and I get a similar reply. That's about the time I either raise my voice and sound like a complete or just walk away.. idiots.

post #9 of 21
Quote:
Have you guys ever known anyone like this? perhaps, someone in your family too?
Have I known anyone like this? Of course! Sooooo many people know *everything* gah!

I get into the food thing with my parents too. They brag that our last family cat lived to age 22 eating MeowMix only. Whateva They don't want to listen but at least have stopped criticizing how I feed Smidge. I tell them it is my business if I "waste" money on expensive food! (funny though, they dont argue how odor-free her box is - a result of the good stuff. Their last cat had a stinky stinky box no matter how clean)

The fat thing too - annoying. I would just control it as much as possible and give up explaining. Sometimes that is the best and only way. (my mom likes chunky cats too - more to smoosh - but knows it isn't as healthy). Just reaffirm often that you expect them to honor and respect your wishes even if they disagree. Be firm and direct.

btw - Yuki is darling!! I love her pink collar and bell with her fur coloring.
post #10 of 21
Yuki is gorgeous. Do your best to ignore them since they are very uninformed and have no intention of being educated.
post #11 of 21
Yuki looks great.

I get the same thing about Nabu. He's pretty much always been ideal weight. Everyone thinks he's "too thin." But no, they are just used to looking at fat cats. I know someone who has a cat that resembles a basketball in shape. And they think it's fine!

They also think I shouldn't go out of my way like I do to make sure Stimpy stays at a steady weight or loses weight. Why would I want him to gain weight and be unhealthy?
post #12 of 21
I get that a lot... if you're not spoiling an animal and making it fat you aren't doing it right...

And if an animal gets fat, obviously that's good!

Hennessy's a big cat, no one complains about him... but I have heard people tell us to fatten up the dog (she's a hyperactive puppy! She couldn't put on weight unless we force fed her lard...)
post #13 of 21
Thread Starter 
She does not look skinny, nor fat is she?





Off Topic: She has funny looking pattern. reminds you of the letters -> ' lol '

Note: This is when I first got her ( fur = ew... ugly? )

post #14 of 21
I feed mine Purina, and the Royal Canin indoor formular for UTIs (this is only when one of them gets it) My vet reccomended me to go off it as its not good for young cats to live on it for the rest of their lives.

My cats will only eat Purina, to be honest i find it a much better brand than whiskers or Kitkats

Teufel is very picky on food, he will eat dry food, and kaylee loves wet food, she also loves fresh raw meat which she gets when i am cooking. I free feed my kitties, and they are not fat at all, and yes they are spayed and neutered. Kaylee is so slim you think she is on a diet, but the key is they get to run around this tiny apartment with the many toys they have.

Yes some people think i am nuts for having two cat trees, a couch for them to ruin, and the floor being covered in toys. They also get the finest litter thanks to Jcat for pointing it out to me there are better quality ones which dont make the litter stink one bit! It smells like baby powder! When i bulk buy i spend about 70 EUR which is about $100 and it lasts me for nearly 6 months for two kitties, this includes litter food treats, and toys.
post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki View Post
She does not look skinny, nor fat is she?





Off Topic: She has funny looking pattern. reminds you of the letters -> ' lol '

Note: This is when I first got her ( fur = ew... ugly? )

I think she's beautiful and her coat certainly looks healthier since you've had her. Whatever you are doing it looks to be a good thing so tell them to mind their own business until they do some research and studying up on nutrition of cats. Then once they learn something they can come back and apologize to you.
post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
I think she's beautiful and her coat certainly looks healthier since you've had her. Whatever you are doing it looks to be a good thing so tell them to mind their own business until they do some research and studying up on nutrition of cats. Then once they learn something they can come back and apologize to you.

She looks great. I love her coat pattern.

Nabu is that thin, but much older (he's 11 yrs old). I think it's because he pretty much only eats canned food.
post #17 of 21
Ignore them and tell them that unless they want to help pay for the cat's things, to mind their own business! Luckily, my family doesn't care about how I treat my cat...I've had him so long...
post #18 of 21
Awww! She's beautiful and her coat looks so healthy & shiny.
Quite the long tail, too. My RB kitty, Siam had a 14 & 1/2 " tail. Have you measured her tail?
post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 


Lol random post and I know I look retarded... ( messy hair, weird smile, etc ) but I just want to show her cute-ness!
post #20 of 21
She looks like such a sweetie! She's so pretty
post #21 of 21
She looks so comfortable up there on your shoulder. She's lovely.
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