Help! My kitten is strangling me in my sleep!

Sunny does not like to sleep anywhere that is made out of cloth. He won't sleep in my big chair, he won't sleep in the bed next to us, he pretty much sleeps on hard surfaces. Here's my problem: the only soft surface that he likes to sleep on is my THROAT while I'm fast asleep!

He's gained 1.5 lbs in the past week (now that he's perfectly healthy) and I don't have a very large neck or a very sturdy windpipe (at least not one that sturdy enough for a kitten to be splayed across it nightly). How on earth should I protect myself from this if I'm dead to the world?

He does not do this to my boyfriend who is right next to me and a pretty sturdy dude altogether. I really like that he's a mama's boy except for this behavior. I really can't get onto him because he does not understand that what he's doing is wrong - I just really think he wants to be near me. Kinda cute, yet kinda creepy. Is there some type of training tool that I need to invest in? - Cuz I like breathing!

I don't know what you can do...but the kitten is most likely doing it because of nesting. I had a kitten once that did that...he would curl up across my neck as I slept. I am a light sleeper so I just would move him onto my pillow next to my head and shortly he just started sleeping on my pillow next to me and would curl up against my neck/shoulder instead of laying across my neck.

That is all I can offer if you wake up just move the kitten somewhere else near you and hopefully this will help to reinforce the sleeping arrangement.

Yeap, like Delaney75 said, move him to your pillow by your head. He will get the idea.
K.

Try blowing gently at her ears.

Just pick the cat up every time he does it and move him to the part of the bed you'd like him to sleep on. He'll learn where he's supposed to go. My cat knows it's near the legs or feet.

Wear something around your neck to bed. (Don't choke on it, though.) Maybe cut the neck off a turtleneck -- and turn on the air conditioning ) Then if he'll still sleep on your neck, maybe he'll start to like fabrics more. Or at least he may acclimate to them, so you can move him onto the pillow, as suggested above.

I have no sage advice, but your thread title made me think of this:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51603