Anyone else?

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pipersjo

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Originally Posted by Mer636

my bf did this to me once and I gave him such a blast that he hasn't done it again although I know why he did he was working after hours and his phone died but still

Sit him down and tell him calmly how you feel and if he doesn't want to listen or compromise think about moving on

thats my opinion anyway


poor girl losing her mind over a guy
some guys are dumb
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Thank you! It really makes me feel better that I am not the only one that this has happened to. The worst part is, I moved to OH in April to be closer to him-- 4.5 hrs from my closest family. My choice, I am not even sure he wanted me to do it because we were doing better at long distance than being close, but I feel like an idiot now because I have a lease and a job that I am kind of obligated to. Oh well, 10 months left on the lease. At least, if we break up, we don't live together.
 
EnzoLeya

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You can have my SO he NEVER stops texting me
No, just kidding, I love him too much.

I'm not sure what my opinion is, I haven't heard enough to say you should do one thing over the other. Does he always forget to call or text? Maybe he got busy/too drunk and forgot to call? There could be a hundred reasons he didn't call.

I do understand where you are comming from though. I sometimes worry about Blake when he's gone all day on the road for work and when he doesn't call every now and again I start to worry.
 
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pipersjo

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Originally Posted by EnzoLeya

You can have my SO he NEVER stops texting me
No, just kidding, I love him too much.

I'm not sure what my opinion is, I haven't heard enough to say you should do one thing over the other. Does he always forget to call or text? Maybe he got busy/too drunk and forgot to call? There could be a hundred reasons he didn't call.

I do understand where you are comming from though. I sometimes worry about Blake when he's gone all day on the road for work and when he doesn't call every now and again I start to worry.
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He always tells me he will text or call and then doesn't but the difference this time was, that I couldn't get a hold of him and I knew he was drinking. After hearing about my friend found in the ditch, my mind made up all kinds of awful things. I HATE feeling that way, but I am kind of considering (at least if they don't call me in to work tonight) heading out of state for a couple of days and not contacting him just to kind of get my head on straight and visit my family.
 
mer636

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oh ppppfftt im sure tooonnnnsssss of people go through this
you can do it on your own if you have too
 
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pipersjo

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Originally Posted by Mer636

oh ppppfftt im sure tooonnnnsssss of people go through this
you can do it on your own if you have too
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I know I can-- after all, he is only my 2nd serious bf because I liked being on my own. It's just that I love the idiot and that can be a hard thing to get around.
 
mer636

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oh do I ever hear you on that!!
Like I said all you can do is sit him down and have a serious heart to heart with him


tell him he's being a dumb and to listen to how you feel!
 
cheshirecat

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Originally Posted by pipersjo

He always tells me he will text or call and then doesn't but the difference this time was, that I couldn't get a hold of him and I knew he was drinking. After hearing about my friend found in the ditch, my mind made up all kinds of awful things. I HATE feeling that way, but I am kind of considering (at least if they don't call me in to work tonight) heading out of state for a couple of days and not contacting him just to kind of get my head on straight and visit my family.
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You have to decide what is best for you. He probably won't change.

So if dealing with this same situation on a regular basis is not something you want. You need to think about going home.
 
rosiemac

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Gils 49 and sometimes he forgets to text me to let me know he got home ok, and i usually hear from him the next day
It's usually because he's tired when he gets in or he doesn't want to wake me, but i've given up asking him to let me know now because it's in one ear and out the other.

But it's different when it's me though!
 
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Originally Posted by pipersjo

His phone is STILL off, he is supposed to be checking out, and I am still worried. He is out of state and I don't even know what hotel he was supposed to be staying at-- just know the town. Maybe this is irrational, but now I am kind of wondering if maybe he cheated on me and that's why his phone is off. He doesn't usually turn it off and this makes me wonder.

He has never, that I know of, cheated on me so this probably is irrational. I just really wish he would get a hold of me.
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OK, you have gone WAY out on a limb here. How did you go from him being drunk with his friends to him meeting someone for sex?

I know what you are going thru when he forgets to call. My SO did that all the time when he was alive. But there is no reason to loose ALL faith in him for his lack of consideration.

Wait till he gets home, let him know the news (you stated that he doesn't know about your friend) and let him know that is why you were so frightened. Get his promise to follow thru. You may have to have a discussion several times before it sinks in. It is NOT a reason to break up or move home or worry about abuse! Drinking occasionally with friends he doesn't see is a normal testosterone ritual.

Don't freak out on him. That will drive him away. Don't bring up the past or future worries. Keep the discussion to THIS moment. Get his reaction and his side of the story. Don't threaten, and don't give ultimatums. Use your adult logic. Men react better to that.

Now, take a deep breath and calm yourself before you see him. Good luck!
 
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pipersjo

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Well, all of this ends up being a moot point since he just broke up with me. Oh well, I guess.
 
clixpix

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Originally Posted by pipersjo

Well, all of this ends up being a moot point since he just broke up with me. Oh well, I guess.
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Can I be the first to say that he's a big jerk, and you're better off? In this thread I've seen several red flags, the biggest is his lack of interest in talking to you, and his lack of consideration for your feelings.

None of that, however, will make you feel better right now. I'm so sorry you're in pain.
 
zorana_dragonky

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Oh wow. I just read this whole thread, and here I was, ready to offer advice on how to talk to him and work out your feelings and now all I want to say is...

I'm so sorry.


I live in Indiana, which isn't far from most parts of Ohio, but gas prices are terrible. I would still come give you a hug. I wish I could mail you some cookies and a hug. I know we are just a forum, but... we love cats and we're here for you.
I'm sorry you fell in love with a guy who apparently is a big jerk.

If you need a shoulder to vent or cry on... we are all here for you. Really.
 
Asteria

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I'm so sorry he broke up with you.

You need someone who treats you well and considers your feelings and cares whether you're worrying about him or not.
I wish I could give you a real hug.
 
laureen227

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Originally Posted by clixpix

Can I be the first to say that he's a big jerk, and you're better off? In this thread I've seen several red flags, the biggest is his lack of interest in talking to you, and his lack of consideration for your feelings.

None of that, however, will make you feel better right now. I'm so sorry you're in pain.
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he is a jerk... but that won't make things easier... yet.
 
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What a stinker! He let you move away from your home, then after just a short time he breaks up with you! You definitely deserve better. If he was not as serious about the relationship as you were (which is the way it seems to me, given that he is so inconsiderate), he should have said so before you uprooted your whole life and moved away from your family. I am so sorry things happened that way, but you seem like a strong person. You will be just fine.
 
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