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Please Help!!! Advice Needed!!!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Hi, I'll try to keep this as simple as I can:

Today my wife found a kitten wandering on a main road and after we checked all the houses in the area and surrounds (none of the households were missing a kitten) we decided to keep her. She's about 4 weeks old, no trouble at all and gorgeous.

Now here's the problem: we adopted a cat two years ago, her name is Daphne, we got her when she was 8 weeks old, the local SPCA found her at 2weeks old and had to hand rear her until she was ready to go to a good home, the trouble was that she was kept away from other people and animals and had to spend a lot of time by herself, and when we finally got her it took ages for her to trust us (she still has off-days but care, time, love and attention has paid off and we have a strong bond with each other). However she has an almost psychotic dislike of other cats - shreiking, hissing and relentless growling. The level of animosity directed towards this kitten from her is scary - Daphne is now also really resentful towards us - and refuses to even be in the same room as us, she seems really rattled and angry at us for bringing in this new cat. My worry is that I have no idea if this will be permanent or just a phase of her getting use to the kitten, but I couldn't stand the thought of traumatising her, especially after everything that she's been through and earning her trust, which wasn't easy.

We always said that we would like another kitten, and I know we could give this little one a good home but I'm concerned about the Daphne's quality of life and undoing all the progress she's made a over the last 2 years. On the other hand we've already grown attached to the little kitten and I know it will be heartbreaking for my wife to have to hand over this little kitten to someone else. This is a genuine dillema, please if anybody has any advice I would appreciate it. Thank you.
post #2 of 5
If I'm reading this right you just found the kitten today. It's not at all unusual for any cat who's already established in a territory (i.e. your home) to be upset at the arrival of a new cat. In fact, they're programmed to act that way. It's their job in a sense. It's really far too early to tell how your cat will do over time with the kitten. Typically, cats adjust. Particularity cats as young as the two you have. For now, keep the kitten separate from Daphne and slowly introduce them. There are some great articles on these forums for how to do that. I would caution that cats can sense our moods so when you do introduce them make sure you are as relaxed as you can be. You may inadvertently add stress and I know that's not what you want for the cats! Good luck!
post #3 of 5
Originally Posted by howtoholdacat View Post
If I'm reading this right you just found the kitten today. It's not at all unusual for any cat who's already established in a territory (i.e. your home) to be upset at the arrival of a new cat.
if you truly wish to keep them both, try following the advice here: introducing cats
post #4 of 5
Always good to see another Ireland poster on here - greetings!

As for the situation - I totally understand your concerns about Daphne! Poor girl. BUT, I do think it is possible to keep them both if that is what you want. Follow the introduction tips on here, but also remember that she will adjust. My husband's family were given a feral kitten found by some friends in Wales on holiday. They took her in and Chloe - the dominant family cat - was NOT happy. But, after a few weeks, they reached a level of toleration and with time, you would even occasionally see them cuddled up together. They were never great friends, but Chloe forgave my husbands family and returned to her lovely self, the feral kitten was integrated into the household and everyone had a lovely time.

Good luck!
post #5 of 5
I hate to be the naysayer in this, but I lived for 18 years with a female stray who adopted me, and her attitude toward other cats was much like your Daphne's. At one point, when she was 5, I tried to adopt an abused female who was approximately the same age and was very, very submissive. My girl acted exactly like your Daphne--she not only hated the new cat but was alienated from me as well. I talked to my vet, and he said that "eventually" they'd "co-exist" but that my first cat would probably always be miserable and clearly wanted to be an only cat.

So I found a good home for the second cat. I didn't think it was fair to either of them to lived with that tension, and I felt I owed my first cat the happy home that she'd been enjoying. There was no reason to have a second cat if she didn't want a companion.
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