Does having children make you happy?

Some days yes and some days no.

Interesting article.

I've read that article several times, and as a child-free person I can say that I would never be happy with having a child in my life. It's not in me to be a mother, and I've never had the desire to get up in the middle of the night and give a baby a bottle, go to a middle school play, or watch my son or daughter's wedding.

Am I happier than my friends who have kids? I have no idea how one would go about quantifying that. I just know that I'm very happy with the choices I've made, and I wouldn't want to live my life any different.

I always wanted to grow up and be a mom and a wife. Now I am, I have 3 kids. I voted no, it does not make you happy. It can be very rewarding, and I love my kids all dearly, but honestly it is so extremely stressfull and the most demanding job that I have ever done. I feel like I have totally lost "me" since having kids, I have given up everything to try and do everything that is best for them. My kids are closely spaced (15 months beteween the first 2 and 2 years between the 2nd 2), and maybe it would be easier if they were not so closely spaced or if I had only had 1. It is a huge financial strain, I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and now my husband and I are both working (our butts off) and to avoid the super high costs of daycare I work late into the night so I am home with them all day, I get about 4 hours of sleep and then am up with the kids. And they are all so young that they are still really demanding, even if they are super great kids. I am exhausted and burnt out and have no solutions. I love them dearly, like I said, but I would not have kids just to "be happy".
How is that for honest.

Edit, and I just read the article, after I posted.

Disclaimer: I don't have children

I very firmly believe that I am responsible for my own happiness. My personal joy is not dependent on having a child. As the saying goes, "Happiness is not a destination, but a journey".

That is my take on it.

I don't have kids. I never wanted kids.

So far as kids making me happy? Nope. I find them frustrating and often annoying to be around, though it does depend on how the parents are with the kids. Most parents that I see these days let their kids do whatever they want and they have no control over them.

If the kids are well behaved, I don't mind being around them for a short while. But if they are little hooligans I want to put them over my knee and paddle their bums to teach them some manners, and then I want to do the same to their parents.

I'll stick with my fur kids...they make me happy

That's it. 100% You make your own happiness or misery.

I don't have kids. I won't have kids. In my marriage, to be honest, kids don't fit into the equation. DH has a booming voice and is very loud when he's not happy - whether that's something that goes wrong in a video game or a cat laying on the stairs and not moving. I can't even imagine his reaction to a small child pushing the limits. Neither can he. He wasn't raised in a healthy environment (to put it mildly) and he doesn't want to unintentionally perpetuate the cycle. I just don't want them. Works for both of us.

Having kids definitely has it's rewards and it's stresses. I see that in my friends and co-workers all the time. But happiness? That's something you choose and something you make yourself.

Excellent post. I don't necessarily think they make anyone "happier" than someone with no children. I'm happy (most of the time) that I have our daughter, but like Linda, most of the time I don't like kids much. I've often said that our daughter was lucky she had my husband around or she would have been neurotic if I had raised her alone I swear. I much prefer animals to children. The animals don't cost nearly as much either.

I have a 4 yr old daughter.
She was not planned,nor wanted in the beginning (I am not gonna get into that now tho) and well I WILL NOT have any more kids.I am very pro-choice and had an abortion before - no,I am not ashamed.

My daughter is greyt,she is alot like me in most ways.

Now to answer the question,I said "maybe".Somedays (actually most) I am really happy,but then there are other times I am not.Like today for example...I woke up to a huge mess and the cat was white from being coated in baby powder...etc! My daughter decided to get up earlier then me and get into everything she should't.Normally she is not like this,but times like this FRUSTRATE ME.

I never wanted to be a parent,but it happened (again,not a story I am willing to share with the general world online - altho I do talk about it with friends) and so I make the most of it.I love my daughter very much,even tho I never had the desire to be a mom.

I forgot...I am a single stay at home mom (for now) and it can be really expensive and time consuming to have a child.Fortunatly I have family that help me when needed.

A few years ago, AARP did a similar survey, and found that those who did NOT have children were happier and financially more secure. They were dealing with people 50+, of course.

Wise words that I agree with. Children (or anything else) can't make one happy. It you're not happy to start out with, children can make you even more miserable. Children can enhance and be an expression of happiness you already have within, but if you're not happy to begin with, nothing external is going to create something that's internal to start with.

As an older mom, I have to say that having children does make me happy.

I've worked weekend nights to help with the income and avoid daycare. We did the extras - music classes, sports camps, multiple teams and extra academic activities. My husband coached teams, I manged others. I volunteered at school when I could and took home items to cut out to help the teachers.
I reinforced the importance of school and worked on study habits. No pass no play started in my house.
Our friends are the parents of kids on our kids teams. Even years later, they are still our frineds. Our vacations were soccer trips and hockey tournaments - as a family.
My kids are all college graduates. The eldest and youngest are working on their Masters and the middle child has a double major. The two oldest have good jobs. I speak to them or get an email daily. My sons go camping with their father - I would go if my allergies weren't so bad.

I never cried when they went off to Kindergarten or graduated high school. I confess to crying when they came home for Thanksgiving break of their Freshman year - that's when it hit that they are adults. I've loved watching them grow up.

My sister and her husband chose not to have children. He was a VP at a major oil compay until he retired due to cancer. My sister is the reason he lived so long - she did an excellent job of taking care of him. But now that he is gone, she has no one nearby. We talk and laugh old memories, but she has a whole life that no one can remember with her. She can travel and spend money as she wants, but I think I have the better life. I don't have her bank account, but we've managed to travel and will do so in 2 more years when the daughter garduates.

I opted to raise only one skin child, making that determination after having her.

I have four cats, and would happily have more if I could afford them.

I love my daughter with all my heart, but cats are easier and bring more joy than pain, so I think it's all relative.

It depends on the person. I know having a child in my life will make me happy, whereas I know people who would be very unhappy having a child in their lives.

I think having children would probably give you higher highs and lower lows though. I get the impression that my friends with children get more pure joy than I do, but they also get more stress and tiredness and frustration.

I think I'm the last person the face of the earth who needs a kid. I'd like forget them someplace. I don't like kids, have no desire to have kids, and probably would be miserable if I had kids.

I'm happy now, with cat hair in my food, not baby spit.

couldn't have said it better myself

I really like to come home to a quite house after work. If I had kids that wouldn't happen.

I guess I'll know in a couple of weeks! Lol....

I have to say that it scares me, the thought that my baby will be here soon. The changes that will come to my life, the loss of independence and freedom, the responsibility, the sleep deprivation and everything else. I am certainly not dying for this pregnancy to be over - in fact I want it just to keep going and going because as soon as she comes the real work, hardship and financial gain will start.

But the one gauge that I have always had since I got pregnant was the reaction of people to my pregnancy. Without fail - and I mean without one single exception - everybody I know who has children has spontaneously responded to news of my pregnancy with an instant, involuntary grin.

If having children can make you smile without helping yourself when you find out someone you know is pregnant, then I think we're in for the time of our lives.

I voted yes, even though I do have children.

i SO understand what you mean [after all - i teach in a public elementary school!]

My hats off to you! The most I've managed is as Brownie Leader and Tee-Ball Coach... but that's only part-time/seasonal...besides my own litter of 5 (and their friends) of course.

hey, not only elementary - i teach special ed!

I answered yes because it is true.
Before I had my daughter I led a very full life. I graduated from high school early, went to college in Los Angeles and New York. I traveled all over the world. I had a full social life and dating life. I did the single girl in her 20s to the hilt in Manhattan. I had so many adventures that I had no regrets when my life changed. I was in my 20s when I had her.
I met my husband and we got pregnant sooner than we thought. I loved my pregnancy. I loved growing a life inside of me.
I painted a mural on her ceiling. I set up the perfect nursery. I took classes. My greatest joy in life is her. My love for her is so deep and so pure than sometimes it knocks me off of my feet. We laugh until our stomachs hurt and I tell her daily how much I love her.
I put a lot of myself into being a mother. I try to parent differently than I was parented. I am aware of making sure she grows up to be strong and self sufficient.
I suffered a miscarriage and then cancer which took away my opportunity to have more children. It hurts because I am a very good mother. I want to adopt one day.
As for other people's children I love them too. Children are funny and imaginative.

I love you for posting this. I have done all the things you did with your pregnancy - all the classes, the nursery, the photos, the organising - and done them with loving attention and absolute absorption. It's been a wonderful journey and the one thing I will miss above all else from being pregnant is feeling my little girl moving around inside me.

Being a parent scares me like I said earlier - but if it brings me even one tenth of the joy that being pregnant has I think it will be the most amazing thing I ever do - and the most fulfilling.

Oh it will. I loved it and continue to love it. It brings out the good inside. I lavished her with nice baby lotions, baby massages, I have a beautiful baby book, tons of photos(which are a must) and she pretty much came everywhere with me. I had a baby sling so she stayed close all of the time. I even made my own baby food and everything I did was done with love. It is hard the first year because it is an adjustment, you tend to worry a lot and wonder if you are doing the right things but it is special too. I cried the first time she smiled. I was so happy.
My tips are to nap when she naps or you will be dead tired. Be who you are and the mother you are. Don't compare yourself to others. This little soul was given to you for a reason so enjoy it. Make sure you remember who you are and take care of you too. Recharge your batteries from time to time without guilt.
I have read many of your posts and I am betting you will be a wonderful Mommy to your little girl.

I was never aware of wanting a child, but when I found out I was pregnant I felt like my heart flew up to the sky I was so happy.

I found parenthood to be an ambiguity beyond anything I could ever have imagined beforehand. The happiness is purer and the worries and anxieties are greater than I would have ever known were possible if I hadn't experienced parenthood. The most unexpected part was experiencing both extremes at the exact same time.

I was 33 when my daughter was born and I was still very immature. It was the responsibility of raising her that helped me to grow up. I once had a therapist tell me I was a lucky mother because I fell in love with my baby when she was born. She looked at me and I felt every cell in my body was imprinted with her name.

Not everyone should be a parent, but if it's what you want -- go for it!

That made me cry. Dang hormones...

I've never wanted children and i don't think i would be any happier even if i had them?.

I have so many friends who say they didn't know how hard it was, how much their lives have changed, and how they miss some quality time to relax or go shopping etc... but they wouldn't be without them, and those are the ones i admire.