That other "species" - men!

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purrrplej

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I have a question about a man's behavior - a subject I just don't understand at all!! I've had a crush on my (married) supervisor, and I think he's figured it out. But rather than do what I think he should, which is sit down with me and have an adult, one-on-one chat to clear the air and sort things out, he is simply ignoring/avoiding me. Why would he do that? Is he scared of me, or something? I'm not, like, some psycho stalker or anything!! So it's a complete mystery to me. But his reaction is making me like him less, since I don't like being ignored!

Any insights to explain his behavior??

Thanks...
 
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emrldsky

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Nuh uh...might give me away!
Originally Posted by purrrplej

But his reaction is making me like him less, since I don't like being ignored!

Any insights to explain his behavior??

Thanks...
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I think that's his goal.

He probably feels if he brought it up, you would get upset, embarrassed, etc. and he might have a sexual harassment case against him (you could say he came onto you). I'm not saying that you would do that at all, but that might be what he's thinking.

And how in the world did he figure out your crush? If he's married, and if you're concerned with professional appearances, he should never have figured it out. :/

Take a step back, cool off, and move on. He's married, he's your boss, and he's definitely off limits.
 
whisky'sdad

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He's married. Move on.

From a guy's point of view, even though I'm not married, I would do the same thing. He's probably thinking about a harrassment deal if he brought it up, the way things are nowadays...
 
natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by emrldsky

I think that's his goal.

He probably feels if he brought it up, you would get upset, embarrassed, etc. and he might have a sexual harassment case against him (you could say he came onto you). I'm not saying that you would do that at all, but that might be what he's thinking.

And how in the world did he figure out your crush? If he's married, and if you're concerned with professional appearances, he should never have figured it out. :/

Take a step back, cool off, and move on. He's married, he's your boss, and he's definitely off limits.
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Pretty much what I was going to say, so I'll just say "Ditto that!"
 
strakatz

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What if your advances were warmly accepted? If he will cheat on his wife with you he will cheat on you. A very good friend of mine discovered this with his former wife.
 
rockcat

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Originally Posted by purrrplej

I have a question about a man's behavior - a subject I just don't understand at all!! I've had a crush on my (married) supervisor, and I think he's figured it out. But rather than do what I think he should, which is sit down with me and have an adult, one-on-one chat to clear the air and sort things out, he is simply ignoring/avoiding me. Why would he do that? Is he scared of me, or something? I'm not, like, some psycho stalker or anything!! So it's a complete mystery to me. But his reaction is making me like him less, since I don't like being ignored!

Any insights to explain his behavior??

Thanks...
Click to expand...
You got some good advice here. Sort what out? There is nothing to sort out.
 
urbantigers

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His behaviour is telling you something - he's not interested. He may or may not have worked out that you have a crush on him, but he's married and clearly not interested. As far as he's concerned, there is nothing to sit down and discuss. And any attempt to do so could be mis-interpreted (by you, his wife, anyone else who found out about your little chat). Why do you think he should sit down and have a chat about it? Chat about what? If there's nothing going on, there's nothing to talk about. If you're struggling to cope with your feelings for him, then by all means seek help. But not from the guy you have feelings for.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. If I was in his place, I think I'd do the same. He simply doesn't want to get involved with you in any way.
 
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purrrplej

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Originally Posted by emrldsky

I think that's his goal.

He probably feels if he brought it up, you would get upset, embarrassed, etc. and he might have a sexual harassment case against him (you could say he came onto you). I'm not saying that you would do that at all, but that might be what he's thinking.

And how in the world did he figure out your crush? If he's married, and if you're concerned with professional appearances, he should never have figured it out. :/

Take a step back, cool off, and move on. He's married, he's your boss, and he's definitely off limits.
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No worries, I'm over him and will move on. If he figured out my crush, it's just because I tend to be very transparent, even though I try not to be. I never acted at all unprofessionally.
 
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liza24

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its totally normal to have a crush on a higher up, especially on a boss! But the best thing to do is see ith for what it is, shake it off, and find you a hot guy thats avail just for you
 
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