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Pesky emails  

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Here is one I received today. Could it happen? Will it happen? That remains to be seen I guess.

A scene at City Hall in San Francisco

"Next."

"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

"Names?"

"Tim and Jim Jones."

"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

"Yes, we're brothers."

"Brothers? You can't get married."

"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender
couples?"

"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"

"Incest?" No, we are not gay."

"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"

"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each
other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples
who've been denied
equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get
married to a woman."

"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I
have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a w
oman . I want to marry Jim."

"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us
just because we are not gay?"

"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."

"Names?"

"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

"Who wants to marry whom?"

"We all want to marry each other."

"But there are four of you!"

"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert,
Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves
June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that
we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."

"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that
it's just for couples."

"Since when are you standing on tradition?"

"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.

The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says
the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a
marriage license!"

"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

"In what names?"

"David Deets."

"And the other man?"

"That's all. I want to marry myself."

"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to
marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of
marriage!!"
post #2 of 17
I wouldn't mind.
post #3 of 17
Or this:

A couple who has been together for 20 years and raised three children walks into your local courthouse.

-We would like to get married, they say.

-No! The clerk says.

-Why? they ask. We own a home together, are putting our children through college, have been in love for as long as we can remember.

-Oh, well, some people disagree with your existence, so you can't have the same rights as everyone else. You know, you're the same sex, so you can't have a marriage like all the other pairs of consenting, non-related adults. Because then... slippery slope goobeldygook llamas will marry cats!

-I give up! I quit! say the couple, who move to a different state or country where they can marry. Too bad one of them was your friend, neighbor, doctor, teacher, sister, or brother.
post #4 of 17
That's completely irrelevant, as incest and polygamy are forbidden anyway.Talk about scaremongering. Actually, it's not even worth commenting on, but I'll humor you.
post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
That's completely irrelevant, as incest and polygamy are forbidden anyway.Talk about scaremongering. Actually, it's not even worth commenting on, but I'll humor you.
I just put it down to some homophobe with too much time on their hands taking the time to write that drivel.
post #6 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
That's completely irrelevant, as incest and polygamy are forbidden anyway.Talk about scaremongering. Actually, it's not even worth commenting on, but I'll humor you.
No, it wasn't incest, the two brothers weren't gay, they just wanted the financial gain.

It does sound kind of silly now. But hey, it took, what, two weeks or more before the emails started.
post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
That's completely irrelevant, as incest and polygamy are forbidden anyway.Talk about scaremongering. Actually, it's not even worth commenting on, but I'll humor you.
You know, a friend just brought up a good point to me. Same-sex marriages were forbidden too until just recently. So really, who is to say what the future will bring.
I bet 20 years ago if someone would have said that "someday a man will be able to marry a man" people would have laughed at him.

So, as long as it isn't affecting anyone elses life who is to say?
post #8 of 17
O c'mon, lighten up. I though it was rather clever and humorous. I also didn't take it seriously.

That's really pretty mild compared to some making the rounds.
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by coaster View Post
O c'mon, lighten up. I though it was rather clever and humorous. I also didn't take it seriously.
Ditto that!

I loved the last one about dual personalities!
post #10 of 17
I'm confused, was that suppose to be a joke?? If so, it's not funny. Gays and lesbians should have the same right to get married as the rest of us. I know many gay couples who have been together longer then most of my straight couple friends.
post #11 of 17
We just had a very long and difficult thread about that. That could have been posted in there. Can't we have a little humor? Does everything have to be so serious in IMO?

And don't get all PC on me.......
post #12 of 17
my was that a good joke
post #13 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
Or this:

A couple who has been together for 20 years and raised three children walks into your local courthouse.

-We would like to get married, they say.

-No! The clerk says.

-Why? they ask. We own a home together, are putting our children through college, have been in love for as long as we can remember.

-Oh, well, some people disagree with your existence, so you can't have the same rights as everyone else. You know, you're the same sex, so you can't have a marriage like all the other pairs of consenting, non-related adults. Because then... slippery slope goobeldygook llamas will marry cats!

-I give up! I quit! say the couple, who move to a different state or country where they can marry. Too bad one of them was your friend, neighbor, doctor, teacher, sister, or brother.
Llamas will marry cats! Oh NO! Darn that slippery slope. I twisted my ankle that slippery slope once.
What is with the slippery slope? I think its a myth.
post #14 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by CC12 View Post
....Oh NO! Darn that slippery slope. I twisted my ankle that slippery slope once. What is with the slippery slope? I think its a myth.
Ha ha!! You twisted your ankle on a myth!! So it really wasn't twisted and it really didn't hurt and you really didn't limp!! That's hilarious!!
post #15 of 17
I don't think it's funny to have my relationship likened to incest, polygamy, and mental illness.

Actually, I think it's pretty offensive.

And for those people who think I need to "lighten up," what would you say if someone posted a racist joke on here? I bet there'd be a whole lot less laughter going on. It's not funny. And it's not okay.
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaete View Post
I don't think it's funny to have my relationship likened to incest, polygamy, and mental illness.

Actually, I think it's pretty offensive.

And for those people who think I need to "lighten up," what would you say if someone posted a racist joke on here? I bet there'd be a whole lot less laughter going on. It's not funny. And it's not okay.
Thank you for standing up for yourself and others. Your right, it is not funny. These types of so called "jokes" are meant to be demeaning and offensive. But then we are all supposed to not point that out because it is "just a joke". No it is not just a joke.

As Jcat said that is fear mongering at best and I'll add that it is hate mongering at worst.
post #17 of 17
And on that note, this thread will be
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