Originally Posted by weathercat
Does anybody have a friend who you really like but you just can't stand thier significant other? I do.
I sure do! My friend Wendy is married to a real controlling jerk who puts her down constantly. My brother met the guy once and told me later that he wanted to punch him in the face for the way he was talking to and treating my friend.
But my friend won't leave him because according to her she has too many years of her life invested "in him", plus she is deeply religious and believes that marriage is "forever".
So while I can't stand him, I do love her, so I bite my tongue when I'm around him. She knows how I feel about him because everyone she knows, including her family, feels the same way. Even my friend admits that she made a mistake marrying him, but yet she won't leave him.
There have been times where I've spent the whole day with my friend, her husband and 2 kids. I can tell you that I've honed my acting ability when around him to Oscar winning material. Outwardly you would think I really like the guy, but basically I just accepted the fact that my friend loves him, won't leave him, and that ultimately it's really none of my business and at the end of the day it's her that is going home with him.
All I can do is be a good friend to her. So I've been there for her when he hit her, or has given her the silent treatment for weeks at a time. I even helped her cover up an affair that she was having with a mutual friend, by allowing the 2 of them to use my apartment to meet, or me as a cover story if they went out somewhere. All in the hopes that she would ditch her husband.
So the only thing you can do is to just be a good friend, and bite your tongue when you are around his SO and try and get along with her even if you don't mean it in your heart.
Also, be warned that the worse thing you can do is talk badly about her to him. You have to remember that he loves this girl and for whatever reason has chosen to be with her. If there is a choice to make if you and she do not get along, you can bet that he will choose her.