You Might be a Cat Lover if----

You might be a cat lover if...

You dedicate your spare bedroom to the cats but continue to keep most of their toys throughout the house.

You might be a cat lover if...

You keep hitting the snooze button because your cat is so comfortable and is so adorable that it would break your heart to disturb him. Plus, 5 more minutes isn't going to hurt anybody...

You might be a cat lover if...

Your only friends are cat lovers that you chat with online.

You might be a cat lover if...

Everybody who phones you has to listen to your cats purr and say hello

You might be a cat lover if...

1. The cat is not allowed in the house.
2. OK, the cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, the cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
4. The cat can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the cat is allowed on all the furniture, but it is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. The cat can sleep on the bed, but not under the covers or on the pillow.
7. OK, The cat can sleep under the covers and on the pillow by invitation only.
8. Well, ok, the cat can sleep under the covers every night and on the pillow too.
9. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the cover with the cat; only the cat can sleep on the pillow.

you might be a cat lover if...

How to give a cat a pill;
1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm and repeat process.
3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
4. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
6. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat's head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.
7. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.
8. Tie the little angelâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to wash down pill.
9. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.
10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

You mean there are actually people that don't do all this stuff????? Everybody doesn't ride around with a trunk full of cat food and carriers?

You get rid of the kids, because the cat was allergic to them.

You have to ask the guys at the car wash to make sure to open the trunk and vaccum out the spilled kitty litter

you see a cat wandering around without a collar and immediately canvass the neighborhood to find out if it's owned

you take pictures of the cat to post on TCS, but forget to take the camera to your kid's birthday party (the therapy will be expensive)

You bought three cat carriers for you cats. Upon the first attempt to use them - the cats were promptly released in the car and the carriers were never used again.



I could only stand 5 minutes of that sad "Mommy please please please let me out I don't know what I did but I promise I won't do it again!!" meow, before I let them out of the carriers to roam the car freely, while we drove to and from the vet.



Those carriers have never been used since. I just put em in the car, and they typically sit on the back rear windshield. Jake sits in my lap.


Sigh.

You might be a cat lover if...you think "But the cat didn't want me to get up" is a valid excuse for being late to work.

You're really a cat lover if you've ever really said this!

...if your message on your answering machine does not have your vouce, but only your cats. (And then get affended when people say your have a child crying on your answerin machine).

You're a cat love if...

People ask how their vet visits went, because you talked so much about it.

When calling your landlord for repairs, you always say "Remind the workers not to let the cat out."

You can identify what part of their body a particular strand of hair came from (like collie butt hair-it's not hard to identify collie butt hair).

You don't stay out late, because your baby expects you home at a specific time. And, you apologize profusely when you're late.

You might be a cat lover if....
You're always talking baby talk, and there are no children in the house.

You might be a cat lover if...

You understand what every little "mrrr" and "prrrow" means, and give the cat what she wants when you hear these commands.

The brush you bought for your cat cost more than the hairbrush you bought for yourself.

.........you purposely leave trash on the floor (paper wads, milk rings, lids, barbie heads) because your cat wants to play with it.....

...you have a multiple cat household and can tell who's who in the dark by feel...