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butt for everyones jokes!

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I am sick of my SO and neice and her partner...
only yesterday they all sat there saying how irritating i am and noisey, yet if i just stay qiete im accused of "sulking"..
i am genuinly hurt by the comments they make
such as "do you ever shut up", "your blonde therefore your stupid!", "geeesh do you always have too talk about animals!" "chrissy when are you going home(in which i reply now and just before i leave its ooh were only joking dont be stupid!)
the worst of it is the SO is only like it infront of her!
yet if i bring it up my SO says well its only a joke you take evry thing too much to heart!

i could go on listing her faults whith her child and family but i dont say a word too her as far as i see it her choice of mothering is different too mine but i say nothing about it too her!


am i just being too emotional?
post #2 of 16
I think next time they say this to you i would lose my temper at them right then and there, and tell them right out loud that they hurt your feelings and you think they are idiots for saying such Bs.

My two cents.
post #3 of 16
You are so not being over emotional. Being the youngest I am usually the butt of everyone’s jokes. I ignored it for years and then finally I freak out large. Its caused a rift between my sister and I that still hasn’t fully healed. My family felt so bad since they didn’t know I was hurting so bad when they said things about me.

Have you told them how much it upsets you? Maybe you just need to sit down and tell them seriously how upset they make you.
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
See i love my SO too bits and his neice is spitefull enough too stop him seeing his nephew (1 year old).

i may talk to him and just stay at home when he goes round, but the he accuses me of sulking ARGGGH why cant it all just be normal
post #5 of 16
it sounds like their just being mean..thats not joking when your hurting someone's feelings.

talk to your SO for sure about it and let the neice know that you don't like her style of jokes towards you and if she says "oh your just overeacting" say something like "No i'm not it hurt my feelings and you wouldn't like it if the roles were reverced"
post #6 of 16
Sometimes people wrap mean comments in humor to try to disguise them... but that doesn't work with me.

Don't get visibly upset - that is the goal.... tell them calmly that you don't appreciate their comments... that meanness can absolutely come wrapped in humor and it is not amusing.

Your SO should be back you up on this and if he's participating in the so-called teasing, he needs to be held accountable. I would tell him privately that it hurts you that he participates in this and is having a neg impact on YOUR relationship.
post #7 of 16
You need to sit your SO down and make him understand that while he might think it's just joking around, and that you might be oversensitive (his words, not mine...I think you're reacting just fine), it STILL hurts your feelings! Talk calmly to him, try not to start crying or getting emotional (he won't get it).

He's brushing it off and he shouldn't. Explain to him that until he can understand exactly how much it hurts you, you will forgo any outings with him and his niece.
post #8 of 16
I couldn't have said it better than all of the above. This kind of ridicule is the hallmark of my relationship with my brother, and decades of it have emotionally crippled me. You're so lucky to realize early on how wrong this is! Put a stop to it right now -- don't let it tear you down like it did me.
post #9 of 16
Thread Starter 
I hav now spoke too him and im still "over reacting", but if it hurts me hell tell her too cut it out!

were dropping off the old tumble drier in a bit and i swear it carries on i think ill flip!
thankyou all guys your the sweetest peopl in the world!
and as you can tll my E key is kinda playing up
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixietina View Post
I hav now spoke too him and im still "over reacting", but if it hurts me hell tell her too cut it out!
Good for you! Let's hope he sticks to his word!

He reminds me of my husband. He has a mean streak, and doesn't realize it hurts others. Even so far as he'll be "teasing" the pets- usually tickling them- and when they react, like the dog will shake her head or Evie will meow at him- he says "Oh, knock it off, it's not that bad".

Telling the animals they're over reacting! What a dork. I keep telling him, when it comes to them AND me: "What if I am (they are) over reacting? All that matters is that you are annoying / hurting me (them)." Maybe you can tell him that. It doesn't matter if you are over reacting, if you're hurt, you're hurt.

Glad you were able to talk to him and he listened!
post #11 of 16
I have a friend who just went through a similar situation. She gave him the opportunity to stop the teasing, which is a form of verbal abuse when it continues to hurt the recepient. Wen it didn't stop, she had to choose whether to stay together and put up with it or dump him. She decided to dump him. It's only been 2 weeks, but her attitude is so much happier than its been in years. She decided that she deserved to be treated with respect.
post #12 of 16
I've lived with this my whole life from my sister. I finally get to the point that I just walk out, and then I'm over reacting. And then I get the guilt from my parents for ruining the party. So now I just leave the room and tell them that when they decide to be civil, I will return. Till then, I'm not putting up with their attitude.

It took me almost 50 yrs to learn that trick. Luckily, my SO didn't allow it when he was alive. Thats when I learned how to stop it.
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
ihave finally sorted it
well for the last 24 hours all seems too hav ceased
i just need too learn too talk too people properly.
im far too gentle and dont say whats on my mind..

chrissy
thanks guys
xx
post #14 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixietina View Post
im far too gentle and dont say whats on my mind..

chrissy
thanks guys
xx
From what I can tell, you are well-mannered and diplomatic - if visits with the baby were in danger of being withheld, then there was too much at stake to create a row. Sounds like you've handled it very well
post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catsknowme View Post
From what I can tell, you are well-mannered and diplomatic - if visits with the baby were in danger of being withheld, then there was too much at stake to create a row. Sounds like you've handled it very well
Yeah
thankyou
her son is the cutest little boy and i know id miss him if we werent too see him!
post #16 of 16
Speak up, my daughter was our baby & she is smart, but she was very ditzy. I could have told her the sky was gold and she would have said okay Mommy.
Now at 25 she is still pretty easy to tease. But, it really hurts her feelings, and she finally said so. So I have stoped. My point is we didn't know how much we teased her, I guess it was a lot. When she was little......
we put a flash light on her ear, and shined another on the wall, poor thing she thought she was brainless. All in fun, but hurtfull in the same. So OPEN your mouth and tell them to stop.
You can be nice about it but firm.
K.
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