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My little brother is dieing...

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
My little brother (19) i fear is dieing.

He has had a few run-in's with doctors and i guess he had a bad experiance with one and now he doesnt trust them to help him. He thinks there only after money and dont care about his health.

When he was 16 he got a really bad car accident, an that same year he got a hernia at work, then at 17 or 18 he got a stomach ulcer. They all have been taken care of. But now something is very wrong with him, he said he has very strong sharp pain in and around his belly button and he throws up blood. He wont go to the doctor anymore, for reasons unknown to me.

The first time he threw up blood his girlfriend called 911 and he refused to go the with EMT's, he signed something and they left him alone.

He throws up blood daily now, an im afraid he may be dieing.

I flat out told him, "dude you need to go the ER or your going to die, you probably have internal bleeding" an he said he rather die, he's sick of his health problems and will NEVER set foot in a doctors office again.


What do i do? I know he's an adult and i cant physically make him go, but im afraid im going to loose my little brother..
post #2 of 23
I think that if hes life is in danger you coud probably force him too go just restrain him anything!

my SO has stomache ulcer and puking up blood is a bad bad bad sign!
post #3 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixietina View Post
I think that if hes life is in danger you coud probably force him too go just restrain him anything!

my SO has stomache ulcer and puking up blood is a bad bad bad sign!
He had the stomach ulcer treated, so i dont think its that. An when he had the stomach ulcer he was...well...i'll just say there was blood comming out of both ends. Not just his mouth. An he is only throwing it up now, its not comming out the other end.
post #4 of 23
holy crap!! insist that he TOTALLY needs to go!! thats crazy!
post #5 of 23
unfortunently i dont think you can MAKE him go... but look into it, there may be ways to take over care... but you may have to go through courts and stuff. other than that tell him to think about someone other than himself, tell him that you dont want to lose him. keep us updated
post #6 of 23
Stomach ulcers can reappear so being treated for one doesn't mean he can't have another. There are a number of serious gastrointestinal problems that could cause him to be throwing up blood.

I think it's time that you and your family had an intervention with everyone present and let him know that you all love him and what he means to all of you.

And do it today!
post #7 of 23
He needs to know that a hernia is usally taken care of ny the first surgery and shouldn't bother him again. Stomach ulcers can come and go, but can usually be managed by medications and diet - including no alcohol.

You can't make him go for help, but yoiu can tell him you are worried about him and acared that he is going to die. It may make him realize how serious this is. The longer he waits, the harder it will be to treat, the more money it will cost and more time it will take until he feels better.
post #8 of 23
They only way you can take over is if it appears that he can no longer make desions for himself and that takes a court hearing or if he loses consciousness

here is a webpage you can look at these are just about all the things that may be causing his problems
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/003120.htm
post #9 of 23
Oh this is bad. I pray he will go to the doctor.
post #10 of 23
Your brother definitely needs to get to the doctor. He may looking at a few unpleasant tests - an upper GI (drinking barium and having x-rays) and maybe even an endoscopy.

...the barium isn't too bad. But does feel rather weird to drink.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom of 4 View Post
He needs to know that a hernia is usally taken care of ny the first surgery and shouldn't bother him again.
He may have meant herniated disk. That's the logical work related accident one would get shortly after a car accident. And no, that's not usually taken care of in one surgery and never bothers a person again - many are lucky if they get relief as the disk material that leaks out can cause permanent nerve damage - even a little leak (such as from a tear) can result nerve irritation and pain.
post #11 of 23
Oh my goodness! He needs to go to the doctor ASAP, puking up blood is a HUGE deal and isn't something you can live through. I hope to god your family can get him to the doctor.

An intervention, and maybe calling the doctor's office to ask about what you can do.
post #12 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I think it's time that you and your family had an intervention with everyone present and let him know that you all love him and what he means to all of you.

And do it today!
He needs to know that his decision is not just effecting himself but ALL his family. If he truly loves his family, he should do anything to save himself, even go to the doctor. Throwing up blood is not something to ignore.
post #13 of 23
I hope your brother decides to get this taken care of!
post #14 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
He may have meant herniated disk. That's the logical work related accident one would get shortly after a car accident. And no, that's not usually taken care of in one surgery and never bothers a person again - many are lucky if they get relief as the disk material that leaks out can cause permanent nerve damage - even a little leak (such as from a tear) can result nerve irritation and pain.
It was a stomach hernia (sorry should have been more clear)

Thanks for your advice everyone, EVERYTIME i post on this site without fail, i always get help. If its for my brother or my cat, you guys always help me out alot. Thanks everyone

I'll let you know if things get better or worst. I've been praying
post #15 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ranger7489 View Post
It was a stomach hernia (sorry should have been more clear)
How did that happen related to work?
Drag him in to the doctor if you have to. Would your parents have more chance of convincing him or maybe even grandparents?
post #16 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
Drag him in to the doctor if you have to. Would your parents have more chance of convincing him or maybe even grandparents?
i 2nd [or is it 3rd or 4th?] the intervention idea. worth a try!
sending & for your brother, & for you.
post #17 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
How did that happen related to work?
Drag him in to the doctor if you have to. Would your parents have more chance of convincing him or maybe even grandparents?
He works at a local lumber company, an he was lifting something that was WAY too heavy, and he gave himself one that way.

Our parents are aware of everything, and he doesnt listen to one word they say. He is more likely to listen to me then them
post #18 of 23
Does he have health insurance or worker's comp through his employer? If so, he may have some misguided idea that if he goes to the ER, it will jeopardize his job.

I say this because I had that misguided idea myself when I was 19 (an age marked, in most of us, by an utter lack of good sense), and it has resulted in lifelong back trouble that probably could have been prevented -- or at the very least, compensated for. So if you think that could be any part of your brother's resistance, explain to him that it would be unlawful for an employer to discriminate against him on the basis of an on-the-job injury... and more to the point, that a job may last a year or two, but death and disability are forever.

If that doesn't seem to apply, ask him what he's afraid of. Is he one of those old-fashioned men who so dread bad news that they'd rather die than face a doctor? If that's the case, and you can make him see it in perspective, you may be able to shame him into going. A sad thing, but... whatever it takes.

If that doesn't work, contact the doctor who treated him in the past and explain what's going on. Ask the doctor to phone your brother and reason with him. I had to enlist this kind of help with my father on a couple of occasions as he grew older and more difficult to persuade -- a caring doctor should be willing.

And finally, if all else fails, just camp out on your brother's doorstep, follow him to work and wait there, follow him home again... and when he asks what the -- uh, blazes -- you think you're doing, explain that you know that, sooner or later, this ongoing blood loss will weaken him enough that you'll be able to simply load him into your car and deliver him to the emergency room, where they'll give him the help he needs... and you just hope it won't come too late.

Stay calm and keep smiling... but let him see that the point is non-negotiable: now or later, conscious or in a coma, he's going to the doctor... because you love him.
post #19 of 23
Why is it so hard to get a man to the doc? I have finally convinced mine to get treated for a couple of things and he is almost back to his old sweet, self. I think my 3 days in the hospital and being unable to talk or move when I first woke up yesterday scared him.
As usual CarolPetunia is right. Concious or comatose, he is going eventually. It is a short matter of time before he will be too weak to resist. I pray it will not be too late.
post #20 of 23
If he won't go see a regular doctor try and have him see someone who specializes in holistic medicine. There are plenty of doctors who use natural remedies. He could have a ruptured ulcer.
post #21 of 23
Your brother is in my prayers. It must be heartwrenching for you to stand by and not be able to convince him. I pray that that changes. Don't give up.
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlynn View Post
If he won't go see a regular doctor try and have him see someone who specializes in holistic medicine. There are plenty of doctors who use natural remedies. He could have a ruptured ulcer.
If he actually has an peptic ulcer he needs antibiotics since there's often helicobacter pylori present.
post #23 of 23
I will pray for your brother and for you as well.
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