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Pregnancy pacts for teen girls

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
17 girls in a Mass. high school decided to get pregnant so they could raise their babies together! The worst part about this is that they are all under 16!

Time broke the story yesterday.

Oh, and the school is still not sure if they want to start passing out condoms or birth control, because that may encourage kids to well... you know.
post #2 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
17 girls in a Mass. high school decided to get pregnant so they could raise their babies together! The worst part about this is that they are all under 16!

Time broke the story yesterday.

Oh, and the school is still not sure if they want to start passing out condoms or birth control, because that may encourage kids to well... you know.
Yes, heaven forbid anyone "encourage" those kids to do something so horribly wrong like having sex. They wouldn't even consider doing it on their own if those darn schools didn't have condoms and birth control information around.
post #3 of 25
Over 150 girls were in on it. When they were getting pregnancy tests that were positive, they were hi-fiving each other.

Having condoms and birth control information around does not encourage or influence teenagers to have sex. They know about sex from a younger age than we may realize, so they're going to have sex if they want to. I really think it's the parents' responsibility though to talk to them about sex and handle the birth control situation.
post #4 of 25
I think it is more of an emotional thing though sex education is a good idea. These girls want the unconditional love that a baby would give them. They just don't realize that it also includes a lifetime commitment that is one of the most challenging a person can do.

My first impression when I read it was that they wanted to play dollies together.
post #5 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillegal View Post
I really think it's the parents' responsibility though to talk to them about sex and handle the birth control situation.
Unfortunately many, many parents bury their heads in the sand because they aren't comfortable discussing sex with their children and choose to believe that if they don't talk about it, their kids won't do it/think about it. Some even go so far as to try to prevent the schools from trying to educate those children about conception and responsibility. Again the parents believe by teaching the young folks, you are encouraging them. So, basically the parents aren't doing the job so somebody needs to step up and do it.
post #6 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillegal View Post
I really think it's the parents' responsibility though to talk to them about sex and handle the birth control situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Unfortunately many, many parents bury their heads in the sand because they aren't comfortable discussing sex with their children and choose to believe that if they don't talk about it, their kids won't do it/think about it. Some even go so far as to try to prevent the schools from trying to educate those children about conception and responsibility. Again the parents believe by teaching the young folks, you are encouraging them. So, basically the parents aren't doing the job so somebody needs to step up and do it.
I think it needs to be a collaborative effort. Not only do parents need to be more involved but I firmly believe that the schools need to promote safe sex and not just abstinence because clearly it's NOT working! In schools that have had safe sex ed as opposed to abstinence sex ed it's been proved that is does NOT increase the number of sexually active students but it DOES reduce the number of teen pregnancy and STD's.

The problem as I see it is people (parents and schools) would rather just tell kids "don't have sex" instead of actually talking to them and educating them about ALL the risks involved.
post #7 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by twstychik View Post
The problem as I see it is people (parents and schools) would rather just tell kids "don't have sex" instead of actually talking to them and educating them about ALL the risks involved.
That's because they are too uncomfortable actually discussing anything to do with sex so it's easier to just say don't do it than to actually explain and educate.
post #8 of 25
My understanding of this issue that its not that these girls aren't having "safe" sex and so are "accidentally" getting pregnant. These girls are having sex PRECISELY to get pregnant, and no amount of throwing birth control or condoms at them is going to stop that. They WANT to get pregnant.


They are the result of broken families and a lack of stability, and what they want is the unconditional love that they think an infant offers. They want someone who is going to be there for them in a way that their divorcing parents weren't. What they need is for someone to explain real love, and more importantly, someone to SHOW them real, unconditional love.
post #9 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandtigress View Post
My understanding of this issue that its not that these girls aren't having "safe" sex and so are "accidentally" getting pregnant. These girls are having sex PRECISELY to get pregnant, and no amount of throwing birth control or condoms at them is going to stop that. They WANT to get pregnant.
I agree in this situation having access to B/C would not have made a difference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandtigress View Post
They are the result of broken families and a lack of stability, and what they want is the unconditional love that they think an infant offers. They want someone who is going to be there for them in a way that their divorcing parents weren't. What they need is for someone to explain real love, and more importantly, someone to SHOW them real, unconditional love.
I think you would be surprised if most of these girls didn't come from broken homes. Even girls that have a stable home can have a screwed up sense of unconditional love.

I was pregnant my senior year of high school and it amazed me how many young girls in my church said how lucky I was to have someone to love. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't consider myself lucky. I had a child to care for, bills to pay, homework to do. It was like they had "baby stars" in their eyes.

20 years have gone by now and it doesn't seem like things have changed that much. The young lady Ireland in the article experienced the same reaction I did 20 years ago.
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandtigress View Post
My understanding of this issue that its not that these girls aren't having "safe" sex and so are "accidentally" getting pregnant. These girls are having sex PRECISELY to get pregnant, and no amount of throwing birth control or condoms at them is going to stop that. They WANT to get pregnant.


They are the result of broken families and a lack of stability, and what they want is the unconditional love that they think an infant offers. They want someone who is going to be there for them in a way that their divorcing parents weren't. What they need is for someone to explain real love, and more importantly, someone to SHOW them real, unconditional love.
Perhaps we should throw cats at them instead of condoms?!
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by twstychik View Post
Perhaps we should throw cats at them instead of condoms?!
I was telling my boyfriend that the other day. We were watching Maury (nothing else was on lol) and this 14 year old was saying she loved sex, drugs, and running away. She even had sex for a cheeseburger! (I mean cheeseburger are very yummy but…. Um ya ) There were like 5 teens and all wanted to get pregnant saying they would have sex with every boy in school 10 times a day for a baby.

I told my boyfriend I wished more people liked animals. I think it would really help. All my teen hood I had my German Shepherd and she gave me all the unconditional love I could handle. My kids will have their own pets for sure. Must be hard to have out of control teens.
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by snosrap5 View Post



I think you would be surprised if most of these girls didn't come from broken homes. Even girls that have a stable home can have a screwed up sense of unconditional love.
I certainly don't disagree with you at all. The reason why I said what I did was because of this quote from the article:

Quote:
In Gloucester, perched on scenic Cape Ann, the economy has always depended on a strong fishing industry. But in recent years, such jobs have all but disappeared overseas, and with them much of the community's wherewithal. "Families are broken," says school superintendent Christopher Farmer. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."
So that's what I was referring to. Of course, I rather think that teenage girls in general (having been one not TOO long ago ) have a screwed up sense of love. Its just that these girls think they've found an "out" which isn't really an out.


And I totally agree with the idea that we should give them cats! Its puppy/kitten season, right? We'll just send up some kittens and show them what REAL love is!
post #13 of 25
I believe it. The school I taught at had 3 pregnant 8th graders (14 yr olds) and the parents were ecstatic about it!! The district would have sent the girls to alternative ed, but that is only for pregnant high school girls. My 6th graders (12 yr olds) thought it was the best thing ever and we think a few have started trying. The school did have a sex and pregnancy "talk" with the 7th and 8th graders, but were not allowed to invite the 6th graders. Parents complained that they even had the talk in the first place. What makes me really sick is everyone blames the school! I'm sorry but schools have no control over what kids do once they leave. When it comes to things like sex, parents need to step it up and talk to their kids.
post #14 of 25
What is sad is that these girls think that the best thing they can do is have babies. They have no other ambitions that would make a good life for them and to wait to have children when they can provide for them.
post #15 of 25
I'm not surprised. Having a baby these days is vogue: a huge fashion statement.

Hollywood exerts great influence on society.

There have been movies about teen pregnancy that makes it all seem like a joke. Teen celebrities or siblings of celebrities get pregnant and they become famous cover girls. Young celebrities get pregnant and there are glamour photo spreads in magazines. Everywhere you turn there are pictures of pregnant celebrities.

From what I've read these teens don't have a great deal going for them where they live. Their school refuses to teach sex education and promote contraceptive usage.

Unfortunately the parents of these pregnant girls will be the ones taking on the bulk of the responsibility in raising the children because once the girl has to get up 6 times in a night to feed and change a diaper, and finds that she just can't up and go out on a whim like she used to, the novelty of having a baby will wear off.
post #16 of 25
In high school, I started babysitting every afternoon for a family down the street. They had two kids. 3 years later when I stopped babysitting for them they had 4 kids. I knew from an early age how much work it was to raise a child and that in spite of the hard work you put in the kids could still treat you pretty badly (though they were GREAT kids). I think all young girls should give something like that a try. Too many people who aren't really fit to be parents have kids like it's a game. If you're bringing a life into the world, shouldn't you at least try to make a conscious choice to do it?
post #17 of 25
Maybe this is just a prank by the school to try and teach the kids a lesson, and they'll come out and say they were just lying to prove a point...
post #18 of 25
Just when you think you've heard it all
post #19 of 25
This really isn't anything new. It goes on in high schools across the country. Being pregnant is hip, chic, and cool. Jamie Spears and many other starlets are making news by having babies at a young age. I'm looking forward to that reality show that is coming out where they stick some high school students with babies so they can see how difficult it really is to care for a baby. I've seen the commercial for it. If it hasn't started yet, it should start soon.
post #20 of 25
OK, I found the name of the show. It's "Baby Borrowers" and it starts this Wednesday.
SERIES PREMIERE
June 25th 9/8c
Meet the teenage couples as they embark on a fast track into parenthood. Will their relationships sustain the pressure?
Here is a link to more info:
http://www.nbc.com/The_Baby_Borrowers/
post #21 of 25
Update on this here: http://www.time.com/time/nation/arti...817272,00.html

Quote:
So did the girls make a formal pact to get pregnant together or not? Without comment from any of the pregnant students themselves, it may be impossible to determine exactly what they agreed to, and when. So far, the only school official to use the word "pact" is Sullivan, who reportedly now says he does not recall who told him about the pact in the first place.
post #22 of 25
Now the school district is scrambling to say that no pact ever existed. However, last week, several girls DID confess to this. As a former teacher, I think this protest from the district is meant to take the spotlight off of the administrators who are being asked, "How could this have happened in our community?"
post #23 of 25
I think schools need to stay out of the parenting game. I know parents can be awful at their jobs. I do. Really. Plenty of them suck.

However, I still stand by my assertion that schools should stay out of the parenting game.

That said, I don't think it has anything to do with parenting when you explain basic reproductive concepts, birth control, etc. So, I have no issues with sex education as long as it remains neutral. I don't think discussing birth control options is a problem. Social studies/government classes cover legal defenses, controversial cases, etc. There is no reason not to share the facts.

However, pushing abstinence or pushing "safe sex" (it's one thing to tell kids about how effective Birth Control Option A is and another thing to tell them to *use* it) goes beyond education. Education involves giving people the facts and the skills to evaluate them.

So, pregnancy pacts are bad among teenage girls. I get it. As far as I'm concerned, the parents need to be shamed in the town square for raising such a bunch of twits.

I might want the schools to butt out, but I'm cool with shunning and other social repercussions.

Oh, and PS - I can't wait for Baby Borrowers, lol. It sounds absurd. My BF and I don't particularly enjoy babies/kids, but we're fascinated by these bizarre reality TV shows (like Kid Nation) and don't understand how people aren't getting sued left and right. Who, exactly, is turning their infant child over to a couple of teenagers for a reality TV show?
post #24 of 25
When I first read about that pact, it just about made me sick. There are enough struggling teen mothers in the country already. Either careless when it came to sex, did it because they thought they could salvage a relationship with a baby, or just because they thought "A BABY WILL LOVE MEEE!!" Ugh. And we are paying for most of these babies through the government.

I dont see how a bunch of 16 year olds and under can even be as excited about being pregnant as these ones. They obviously do not see that for the next 18 years they are responsible for these "oh so cute babies", and that for the rest of their lives, they will have that child in their lives. It's not like a toy they can throw out or stuff away when they are tired, and I highly doubt they realize that.

Ugh, ugh, ugh is all I have to say about that.
post #25 of 25
We did not have pregnant teens at my school. Not any that we knew about anyway. When I got to college I found out why. Many of the girls either had abortions by private family physicians, were on BC or went away under murky circumstances. It was certainly not cool to have a baby. I don't get where these girls get these ideas? Have things changed so much from the 90s?
I feel so sorry for their children to be conceived in such a callous way. This idea is grotesque on so many levels.
I saw Juno and it was a cute movie but if some girl goes out and gets pregnant because of a movie then her problems are much bigger than a baby.
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