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SO angry!!!!

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
So Rob and I got home from 4 days at my parents' house in NC - a wonderful vacation from the in-laws for me. My younger brother graduated high school Thursday, my mom and I went to Carowinds together on Friday while Rob hung out with my dad and did car stuff, Saturday we all went to Red Lobster, and today we just basically relaxed.

We got home around 10:20pm tonight ... to this :


We bought this car in Georgia a few months ago - it was a 4 hour drive each way. Last Wednesday we went looking for an engine & transmission for it, so we can sell it and make some $$ on it to use for our boat. Originally we wanted to keep it, but since we bought the boat, we planned on making it run again and since it had a 100% STRAIGHT body, we would get a good profit vs what we paid.

Rob was FURIOUS. I'm pretty darn angry as well. So VERY angry. We definitely will not get much now that it's damaged. Rob came storming inside and before he could even say anything, his dad was like "Me." He backed their Jeep into the Trans Am ... here is their jeep:


And THIS is how hard he hit the Trans Am with the Jeep ... the dead spot of grass is where the car WAS sitting previously:


And people wonder WHY I worry so much about the kittens running around in the yard by the driveway ... because apparently people are driving in reverse at 40mph somehow in this yard!! ARGHHH!! Talk about a "Welcome Home". I dont even know HOW they managed to do that. The car has been sitting in the exact same spot since April, and I don't know where the heck they were headed with that Jeep in order to smack into that car like they did, and even how hard they did. So insanely livid right now! I said they need to get to finding either 1. Someone to fix it - we're not going to splurge on body work for something we didn't do; 2. Fender/door for the car to replace it, then pay for the paint.
post #2 of 16
Ouch, not good hon! (((hugs))) for coming home to this from your trip! If it makes you feel any better, I'll tell you two better ones......I drove my mom's new Acura Legend home one night and parked it behind my Expedition......the next morning I forgot about it and promptly backed over it.......less than six months later I backed my dad's Trooper into a commercial dumpster behind our store...needless to say our insurance company was not at all pleased with me!
post #3 of 16
Thread Starter 
Ouch!

I backed my Integra into his dad's work trailer once, but NOWHERE near as hard as he backed into our Trans Am. I didn't even ding the stupid trailer (OR our car ... I dont floor the car in reverse in the driveway!). Someone else backed into the Integra at Rob's work, separated the bumper a little bit from the quarter panel then freaked out, but I told him it was alright. He ended up getting me a $100 gift card to go shopping at the mall because he felt bad.

Of course, we highly doubt his parents are going to offer to fix this for us. But if we hit one of their cars, it'd be right out of our pocket for sure And this was a car we actually CARED about how the body looked, unlike our Integra (beater car, already been hit with tire tread from a big rig as well).
post #4 of 16
He had to be going pretty fast to hit it that hard and move it. I hope you get the repairs figured out.
post #5 of 16
You can claim through insurance no?
post #6 of 16
oh dear...

Hope you get the car fixed soon!
post #7 of 16
holy cow!!! i sure hope they fix it or I would go to court
post #8 of 16
Thread Starter 
Unfortunately, our car wasn't insured or anything. We don't drive it - it doesn't even run! (We had towed it from Georgia.) We were going to be putting an engine & transmission into it very soon and try to sell it since it was in such great condition. I don't know if their insurance would make a difference, but I highly doubt they would make a claim. They don't seem to care, honestly. At least not about our car. His mom was whining about her Jeep, but that's plastic and could probably be popped out much easier than all that steel on ours! I didn't even notice the Jeep's bumper at first - it didn't look dinged until I got up close.

I already know no matter how angry about it Rob is, he wont take his parents to court over it (I would! It just seems so unfair they didn't offer to do anything about this). What aggravates me to no end, is that if it was the other way around, they'd be demanding money from us to fix their car (and we'd probably offer some anyway, because it would have been our fault!).

I plan on telling Rob again when I see him tonight after work, that they need to do something about that. Put up some cash for the repairs, find a fender and door and pay for paint ... something! ... THEY hit our car. They weren't paying attention. They were obviously going a tid bit quick for a driveway in order to move the car like that. We dont even know what day they did it, because we were in NC from Thurs-Sun, and his dad said "I figured we'd wait til you got home to let you know about it."



What makes me even MORE angry, is that our kittens like to go out in the yard, and who knows what would have happened if Monte had been next to the car or somewhere in the path of their car? He runs from cars, but judging how hard the car was hit, he might not have been able to move quick enough! I was worried all night because he didn't come in like he usually does. (He WAS waiting for me this morning though when I woke up).
post #9 of 16
Probably a dumb question, but why are you two living with his parents if they are so bad? Could you not manage to get your own place? Then your car wouldn't be near theirs. I don't see how a marriage can last around people like that and all the stress.
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara & Rob View Post
[font="Comic Sans MS"]Unfortunately, our car wasn't insured or anything. We don't drive it - it doesn't even run! (We had towed it from Georgia.) We were going to be putting an engine & transmission into it very soon and try to sell it since it was in such great condition. I don't know if their insurance would make a difference, but I highly doubt they would make a claim
OK, here's a clue for free. They hit your car. It doesn't matter if the car was insured, any more than if they had hit your tree or your house. Their insurance is responsible. They had an accident, and their insurance is responsible. Can I make that any clearer?

Now, they may not appreciate you asking them to call their insurance company and ask for payment, but that's what insurance is for.
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Probably a dumb question, but why are you two living with his parents if they are so bad? Could you not manage to get your own place? Then your car wouldn't be near theirs. I don't see how a marriage can last around people like that and all the stress.
Yes. I would be getting a place of my own ASAP. I lived with my in-laws for several months as a temporary measure. It was a strain on our marriage and relationship with them. All things improved when we were in our own apartment again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
OK, here's a clue for free. They hit your car. It doesn't matter if the car was insured, any more than if they had hit your tree or your house. Their insurance is responsible. They had an accident, and their insurance is responsible. Can I make that any clearer?

Now, they may not appreciate you asking them to call their insurance company and ask for payment, but that's what insurance is for.
Having been in a few accidents with people who play games around insurance, I totally agree with this statement. Don't mess around. Go through the insurance. You should also make an accident report with the police about your Trans Am.
post #12 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Probably a dumb question, but why are you two living with his parents if they are so bad? Could you not manage to get your own place? Then your car wouldn't be near theirs. I don't see how a marriage can last around people like that and all the stress.
I, personally, CANNOT WAIT TO GET OUT! I hate hate hate living there. We have been living together there for 3 years this month. It puts A LOT of strain on us, and I've been telling him that. We fight over stupid things we shouldn't fight over. Stuff we WOULDN'T fight over if we had our own place.

We are currently in the process of having a house built. He flat out refuses to "waste money" on renting an apartment/house for the time being, until our house is finished. I've proposed the idea numerous times, but he's adamant on staying right where he's at until the house is done. Yeah, great, we've saved money for 3 years. Alright, now we're in the building process, time to get out. I'm tired of stress when I go home at night. And not even wanting to go home at night sometimes.

I can nearly afford a $185k+ house on my own (if I made ~$100/mo more than I do, I would be able to have a loan solely in my name for that amount), so we definitely could afford to not live there. I wish we didn't. But he is stubborn when it comes to leaving before the house is built. Honestly, I cant figure out what is so darn great about being there - especially if it causes unnecessary stress! Its bothered me a lot for the last year or so. A friend at work cant understand where I get my patience from, and I dont really know where I do either. My team leader says he wants to talk to him and tell him like it is (that it's unfair to me).

We already argued again about this car today while I was at work. He tells me he doesn't think his parents should pay anything because it was just an accident, and because they're his parents. He claims they wouldn't be upset and/or want money if we slammed into their 2007 Jeep and left similar dents. I just think its common courtesy to offer to repair someone's car if you are at fault and damage it! He told me "I know you hate my parents, that's the only reason you're being like this." Which 1. I dont HATE them, I do currently avoid them most of the time though because I'm sick of them being in our business all the time; 2. I would hope that my parents would offer to repair the car if it had been them! And I know that mine would. He says they are even now for all the times he's dented their vehicles. But they also weren't trying to SELL their vehicle, and insurance ended up paying for all those repairs each time people rear-ended their truck.

I'm just not going to care about the stupid car anymore. There's no point. It's just becoming super-stressful. I dont need this arguing, I dont want this arguing. I just want my house finished so I dont have to live under the same roof anymore and my cars will be safe and away from theirs! (My Camaro has a dent and gouge in the paint as well - dunno who did that, I just happened to notice it recently. That car hasn't been driven in over 2 years as we are doing a drivetrain swap, so it wasn't some stranger at the grocery store who left that ding in it).
post #13 of 16
After 6 months at my in-laws I was getting pretty upset, I can't imagine 3 years. I ended up pretty much telling my husband I didn't care where we went, as long as it was on our own. It wasn't the best apartment, but the stress seemed like it melted away after that. We still had things to worry about, but weren't fighting about stupid stuff.

Sending vibes it gets better for you.
post #14 of 16
wow you need to give your rob a kick in the butt I think! it's totally wrong for him to say "oh you're just acting like this because you hate my parents" and his parents should grow the up and stop acting like the victim here since their car seems to be the same o'l plastic barbie beach jeep that doesn't get hurt unless THEY do the whacking
post #15 of 16
Tara - maybe, in order to make your feelings more clear, you should tell Rob that, until the house is finished, you're going to move to an apartment. tell him he's welcome to join you, but that, for your mental health, you feel it's necessary for you to leave this living situation.
i don't know how that'll fly, but remember - don't tell him this unless you really are prepared to follow thru.
that things get better!
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by laureen227 View Post
Tara - maybe, in order to make your feelings more clear, you should tell Rob that, until the house is finished, you're going to move to an apartment. tell him he's welcome to join you, but that, for your mental health, you feel it's necessary for you to leave this living situation.
i don't know how that'll fly, but remember - don't tell him this unless you really are prepared to follow thru.
that things get better!
I've mentioned that before too. He said I can feel free to go, but he would stay here. Which made the jaw drop, actually. I dont know if he actually WOULD stay here if I went to get an apartment or not, but he said he would. I'm sure if reality hit, he might actually miss me

Obviously I didn't follow through with getting an apt, because I wanted US to have one. Even a not-so-great apartment would be stress relieving right now. We would only need it for 4 months or so anyway - depending on when the groundbreaking begins for the house (I believe they have 45 days from the contract signing to acquire all the permits, then approx 3 months build time).

He was just asking his mom "What was dad doing?! Why did he just laugh this off!?" She said he felt bad when he did it (so why laugh about it when you tell us it was you???) and that he just was in his own world. That it should have been moved elsewhere before - yet why move it if it was fine there? We asked what would they have done if it had been Shannon's car (his brother's gf). Or someone just visiting's car? His mom asked what we wanted them to do, but I kept my trap shut, I'm not getting into it. It wont go over well for anyone if I say what I think about it! More unneeded tension in-house if I did.

So now he is trying to look into body work estimates. We will probably end up having to keep it, since we'll end up investing more money than we'll get back. It's a 'rare' color, and even more rare to find a car like that 100% straight! We have another car we plan on selling for about $900 more than we bought it for two years ago, if that one doesn't get beaten to death too. We have that one on the opposite side of the property by our boat. We've already got about $1300 into the Trans Am if we buy the engine for it too.

Oy vey. We've gotten past our previous argument we had on the phone already. Though I do sense another "I want out of here" conversation brewing in the near future (which is 99% of the time brought on by me - sometimes I just dont think he realizes how badly I want us to go get a place of our own while waiting on the house).

Gonna go take another day-time picture of it so I can send it to the body guys who fixed my Camaro back in '04 after I wrecked it. (The Trans Am seems to have similar dents to my Camaro ... except I hit a pole with the Camaro).
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