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Men bonding with cats

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
My poor husband, we had to have his cat put to sleep in early February. He (Dickens) was his buddy. Our other two cats have picked me as their person. So, we got a new kitten the end of February and my husband even slept in that room for almost a week to try to get the kitten to bond with him. I am a stay at home mom and I tried to do my best to stay out of the room with the new kitten as much as possible. (so my husband could go in the room when he got home from work and the kitten would be happy to have attention etc. and hopefully pick my husband as his person) So, of course, what happened? The kitten likes me. Ugh! We are getting a fourth cat (kitten) mid to late April and if there is any justice in this world, that kitten will like my husband. He misses Dickens so much. I really want my husband to have a cat, he loves cats but of course you can never figure who they're going to bond with. Just venting.
post #2 of 11
Thread Starter 
OK, this is too funny-it won't let me type the name of my cat. The first four letters of his name are the short version of Richard Nixon's first name. His name is also the last name of the author who wrote A Christmas Carol-Charles so and so. This is funny!
post #3 of 11
i like reading Charles Dickens' novels!


post #4 of 11
I'm sorry that your Husband lost his beloved cat. It can be a lonely time even though there are other pets in the household. Eventually, the cats will warm up to him but it does take some time. They are probably picking you because you are home all day. They hear you at home doing what you do everyday and they associate you as their primary since you are home the most. This is exactly what happened with my cats and my Mom. I moved back home after 2 years of living on my own and brought my 2 cats with me. My Mom is home most days and I am at work during the day. Mom and Echo have bonded a lot...and now are best buddies! Echo has never been a lap kitty, but every morning she jumps in Mom's lap while she's drinking coffee. Then at night while Mom's on the couch, Echo will climb up their too and beg for her attention. At first, I was hurt. She's my cat and I always wanted her to be like that for me, but then I realized that I get my own special time with Echo too. She always sleeps with me at night and that is "our" time.
Sorry for rambling on, but eventually they will warm up to him. Just give it some time and let their personalities grow.
Good luck and hope this helps you a bit!
post #5 of 11
First of all, I want to say it's so weird that you're being prevented from typing Dicken's name. I remember one of your previous threads and you were able to type Dickens without any problem. Ok,now I'm through talking about that.

One thing I have heard about cats is that they prefer womens' higher pitched voices over mens'. Maybe this partially explains why the kitten seems to prefer you over your husband???
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 

I think the idea of adopting a shelter cat is a nice one except if it didn't work out, I would feel terrible if I had to return the cat.


That's good that Echo warmed up to your mom. One of my original cats (he's six) likes my husband, and will sit on his lap once in awhile but he is thinks I'm his special person. The other who is four is actually somewhat afraid of my husband-he came from a breeder so I don't think he was mistreated, he just decided for some silly cat reason that my hubby is not for him. And then of course we have the new kitty who goes to me mostly. Maybe we'll just have to keep getting cats until one of them picks my husband to bond with. (HA HA)


The voice thing could be part of it-I think women also have more soothing voices then men do.
post #7 of 11
When we had to put Leo down, my sweetie lost his kitty buddy. Leo had preferred him to me since the day I brought him home. Of the 3 we have left, none of them have bonded with him, and he is a little miffed. He is very good to them, and will pet any of them for hours if they let him but they are all mama's babies. There was another cat, Webb, we lost 10 years ago that was his buddy. Both were big red tabby boys. If I run across another red tabby baby boy, he might follow me home.
post #8 of 11
Ding ding ding!! I agree, get into a fostering program, you can even work with a local humane society and do this, so you don't have to have any designated "rescue" groups in your area.

You can take one animal home at a time, give him a good home out of a cage until he finds a new perminate home! In the process, if your foster doesn't happen to bond as much with your hubby, you can adopt him out and then foster another cat and see if it works with that cat. So you do'nt have to feel the guilt of returning an animal, or keep on adopting animals over and over and keeping them all just to find the right one for your husband! lol

Fostering is such a great thing, if you can bring yourself to do it. I know a lot of people don't have the time or the space, and just can't let go of the animals they foster.

I really think, in this case it might be the best route for you.

Another option, just go back to a shelter, and visit the animal he likes over and over in their play room, see how well they bond together several times, before brining the cat home. But even this wont garuntee he will pick you hubby as number 1 at home. But it might help.
post #9 of 11
Just wanted to let everyone know that we are experimenting with a naughty-word censoring feature for the site, but obviously haven't gotten all the bugs out yet. We want to make sure our obscenity policy is consistent across the board, so no one feels unjustly edited. Obviously, though, we are finding that some words need to be taken out of the database for this website, so we can have beneficial discussions.

Anyway, we have now made it so Dickens can again be referred to by his real name, and we apologize for the inconvenience.
post #10 of 11
I just got this kitten a couple of weeks ago and we seem to start to have the same problem.
I am a "stay home" husband and I got this kitten to keep me company. I even picked the kitten while my wife was out of the town for a few days on business so that she would get used to me before meeting my wife but lately she's been prefering my wife over me even though I am the one who stays home all day.
She still comes to me and sleep on my lap but only while my wife is not present.
I thought it may be either because of the difference of the voice pitch or either because I am the one who keeps saying "no, you can't climb on the table" and putting her down every time she does it
post #11 of 11
Thread Starter 
I will have to think about the fostering thing. My mom had a friend (who has since passed away) who used to foster kittens. Since I do stay at home, I have time to pay attention to my own cats, but I also have 8 and 10 year old daughters so I'm not sure this would be the time in my life to become involved with fostering. I wouldn't want to short anyone.

Poor Mars, it would be disappointing to pick a kitten and then have it like someone your wife. But, what can you do?

krazy kat2, your significant othe sounds just like mine. He'll go out of his way to be nice to out cats, but they still pick me.
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