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Anyone who doesn't east red meat - HELP!!

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
We just had this huge get together for my grandfathers birthday. big thing, seeing family members i hadn't seen in a couple or more years. My nana has been here before, and she knows i don't eat red meat. She said to me to come and try a veggie thing she'd made, it tasted great, smelled meaty but all i could taste was vegetables. Everyone's gone now, i decided to have another, i heat it up and mum comes in and tells me it's got bacon in it, i sawa piece of bacon sticking out of the one i heated up once mum told me, and she said perhaps nana made two types and put them on the same plate, everyone else eats red meat, so it was the quiche nana was talking about not this other thing that was very similiar!!

I'VE EATEN BACON!!

I'm pesce-pollotarian, which means the only meat i eat is fowl and seafood. I haven't touched cow, sheep, pig, anything fluffy and 4 legged in about 9 or 10 months. I feel so rotten and i didn't know it was there i couldn't taste it and i was told it was vegetarian. I know i can't use a stomach pump or anything but i was close to crying. I feel so mean and horrible, please can someone tell me if they've done this before? By accident, not giving into cravings. I had tonnes of cravings but i never ever gave in.

Someone please make me feel better *sobs*
post #2 of 22
I would suggest you just relax.

You didn't choose to eat meat.
It's not your fault it is in there.
I would reaffirm with your family that you are vegetarian.

Don't say you don't eat red meat when you ask what is in food.
Keep it simple and say you don't eat meat at all.

As long as it didn't cause you any medical harm you should just relax and be clearer with people who might not understand what you mean by red meat.
post #3 of 22
Bacon comes from pigs, and pork is considered white meat isn't it? So then you wouldn't have eaten red meat.

You have no reason to feel mean or bad, it was an accident.

I don't eat any meat at all, but most people assume I'll eat chicken or seafood - which I don't so I make sure they know clearly what I will or won't eat.

Usually at family do's I'll either bring a plate I've made or stick to stuff mums made, just to make sure.
post #4 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by missymotus View Post
Bacon comes from pigs, and pork is considered white meat isn't it? So then you wouldn't have eaten red meat. You have no reason to feel mean or bad, it was an accident. Usually at family do's I'll either bring a plate I've made or stick to stuff mums made, just to make sure.
Thanks. But to me it's red meat, but i did not pick and choose, my type of meat eating does have a proper term and i didn't find this out till i decided to stop eating 4 legged critters, but i'm glad i researched it anyway.

The fact that i was told that this food had no meat in it, and then later on i find out it did is not my fault, i was told first when i put some on my plate because i asked plainly, did it have any meat.

As i said it was at our house, my nana and uncle brought the food over, i was picking wisely and put fresh tomato, potato salad and this little vegetable frittata on my plate.

I know it wasn't my fault, and i now i shouldn't feel bad but i do.

Other people might not understand, my mum looked at me funny when i got upset, but if you haven't eaten it for almost as long year, not for health purposes but for ethical reasons, then it's a bit harder for people to get.

Thanks anyway
post #5 of 22
Sounds to me your nanna wanted to make you eat meat again, or unless she didnt think bacon was that bad considering it henhances flavour in most dishes.

I would relax if i were you, i went through the same thing as you did and gave up after two years because it was just expensive and hard to maintain.

I still dont eat that much meat have cut out pork, only cook it because FH loves it.

Next time you have family gatherings, make sure to provide your own dish.

P.s I made a pure vegetarian quiche for the engagement party everyone loved it. Can give you the recipe if you like
post #6 of 22
Hey it didn't kill you Try not to feel that bad. Maybe the part you first ate did NOT have any bacon in it.

I eat meat, but will not eat deer or rabbit. The only similar story like yours was in my teens. My bf's father went hunting and they would eat deer. He knew I did not. But one day when I was over there lunch time, he asked if I wanted a bite of his steak (not telling me it was not beef). I said "sure" and took it. Tasted a little different but figured it was how they cooked it.

He told me "that was not beef - it was venison". I almost killed him - told him "don't you EVER do that to me again, you know I don't eat deer"!
post #7 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragoriana View Post
We just had this huge get together for my grandfathers birthday. big thing, seeing family members i hadn't seen in a couple or more years. My nana has been here before, and she knows i don't eat red meat. She said to me to come and try a veggie thing she'd made, it tasted great, smelled meaty but all i could taste was vegetables. Everyone's gone now, i decided to have another, i heat it up and mum comes in and tells me it's got bacon in it, i sawa piece of bacon sticking out of the one i heated up once mum told me, and she said perhaps nana made two types and put them on the same plate, everyone else eats red meat, so it was the quiche nana was talking about not this other thing that was very similiar!!

I'VE EATEN BACON!!

I'm pesce-pollotarian, which means the only meat i eat is fowl and seafood. I haven't touched cow, sheep, pig, anything fluffy and 4 legged in about 9 or 10 months. I feel so rotten and i didn't know it was there i couldn't taste it and i was told it was vegetarian. I know i can't use a stomach pump or anything but i was close to crying. I feel so mean and horrible, please can someone tell me if they've done this before? By accident, not giving into cravings. I had tonnes of cravings but i never ever gave in.

Someone please make me feel better *sobs*
The dictionary says that a vegetarian is somebody that eats no animal products. Since so many people add qualifiers to that term, the word vegan came into use which now means the same thing that vegetarian used to mean. I was a vegan for five years but my constant travels to foreign countries such as Romania where vegan food is near impossible to find, caused me to fall off the wagon. I was mortified that I did this and still regret it every day.
post #8 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragoriana View Post
I'm pesce-pollotarian, which means the only meat i eat is fowl and seafood. I haven't touched cow, sheep, pig, anything fluffy and 4 legged in about 9 or 10 months.
What's the difference between eating a 4 legged animal vs a 2 legged on, or even fish? They are all living and breathing creatures so in my mind if you are going to stop eating red meat for moral reasons, then you should stop eating anything that lived and breathed and had a face for those same reasons.

I recently changed to a vegetarian diet, but it's not strict. I eat vegetarian at home largely because I can no longer afford to buy meat or poultry products and eating vegetarian is cheaper. I am still eating canned tuna, but that's only because I need to buy tuna for my oldest cat so I can give her her blood pressure pill by dissolving it in tuna juice, and I can't stand to waste food, so I eat the tuna.

And when I go out to people's homes I don't expect them to cook differently for me and I'll eat what they cook.

So can I please ask you why you have chosen to give up eating 4 legged living creatures, but you will still eat birds and fish which are also living creatures?
post #9 of 22
It happens.

That's kind of a cliche, but it's true. People will use broth, or lard, or whatever else that they don't think of as meat, and then tell you that there's no meat. Perhaps your Nana thought of the bacon as a seasoning, and didn't think of it when you asked. To most people, "meat" means big hunks of dead animal, not "anything you have to kill the animal to get at". People will say Jello is vegetarian, which it isn't.

I went to Wendy's once, asked "Does that salad have bacon on it?" She answered "No" and I said "Okay, I'll have that then." She pulls it out of the fridge, and when I get home I open it and it's covered in bacon that should have been clearly visible to anyone with eyes. Again, it happens.

It's not malicious, it's a simple fact of our society, and one that is compounded by people claiming not to eat meat but then eating certain kinds of it, or just "not much" of it. Some people have bizarre ideas of what meat is, and what vegetarians/vegans are. Some have a very hard time understanding, and that's why they don't quite know what to do.

I haven't eaten meat in 7 years, but I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I've never eaten even a tiny bit on accident. I was at a restaurant once and ordered some pasta with marinara sauce, and luckily told the server I was a vegetarian and she said, no, that doesn't have meat in it. She came rushing back out after putting it on the table and said she just went to make sure, and it does, and got me something else. Most servers wouldn't have cared, and I would have eaten meat.

You can't get upset over it, or you're going to have to start only eating food you made yourself, and that's no fun.
post #10 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
What's the difference between eating a 4 legged animal vs a 2 legged on, or even fish? They are all living and breathing creatures so in my mind if you are going to stop eating red meat for moral reasons, then you should stop eating anything that lived and breathed and had a face for those same reasons.
Some give up meat for that reason you listed. Some give up meat only due to the treatment those animals get before slaughter. Some don't like the taste. Some give it up for health reasons. Some for all the reasons listed above. Some think differently than those reasons too. There are lots of thought processes behind the same decision for different individuals.

If everyone stopped eating just pork and cow they would make a big impact, pigs and cows take a ton of area to feed, and a lot of food to feed as well. They are expensive for many reasons, so expensive you quit eating them just on terms of price alone. Also, in terms of health, pork and cow (red meat) can be the most unhealthy meats available for you. It isn't healthy for you to eat them often long term several times a week. My father's heart doctor even went as far to inform him, bacon is NOT a food.

I was raised around pigs and cows and they are very different than a fish personality wise. Pigs remind me of dogs somewhat, they are very different but pigs can be smart and sweet. And cows are smarter than most people think. I just don't like the way most meat tastes, in particular cow and pig. Since I was a child I made my own decision, I have eaten very little meat - I do love fish and eat fish maybe twice a week and sometimes turkey or chicken or an egg, although not even weekly, not often at all. I don't call myself anything specific, I am not a vegan or anything like that, although I respect those that are.

It is and has been hard at times as I don't have any friends or family that chose to eat this way, but I have learned to eat before I go some places, for instance cook-outs; as all they will have available is either meat or potato chips, neither a good option for a meal for me.

I agree with Z's mom, there is a lot of confusion.
post #11 of 22
I do not eat much Meat at all. I went to Chevys and was so mad. I said Cheese Enchaladas and they gave me chicken. I gave them to my Husband and we complained. I like to use Tofu in my food. I do not eat Red Meat at all but will eat Chciken and Pork once in a while.
post #12 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
I was raised around pigs and cows and they are very different than a fish personality wise.
Have you ever known a fish's personality? I knew a Napolean Wrasse that was trained like a dog. He was HUGE, at least 3 ft and he would do tricks for hard boiled eggs. Then he would come to all the divers and pose for pictures. He was eventually killed by a spearfisherman because he was too used to humans and wasn't afraid. So, some fish do have personalities.

Back to the original post, my grandma and mother used bacon to season dishes and they really never considered it meat. It was seasoning to them so I don't think anyone was trying to deceive you...I think that was probably just a misunderstanding. Honestly, I don't consider pork "red meat" either so that could be where the misunderstanding came in.

I also don't understand why no 4 legged animals, but chickens are fine. I personally would prefer chicken breast to a steak, but that is based on my preference, not on moral standing. Chickens are treated just as bad, if not worse than cattle or pigs. It it's a moral stance, to me it doesn't make sense, but it's your choice.

I don't think you have anything to feel bad about because you didn't know. But, think about....it was dead anyway. You didn't kill it.
post #13 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Have you ever known a fish's personality? I knew a Napolean Wrasse that was trained like a dog. He was HUGE, at least 3 ft and he would do tricks for hard boiled eggs. Then he would come to all the divers and pose for pictures. He was eventually killed by a spearfisherman because he was too used to humans and wasn't afraid.
Thanks for sharing that. I am sorry to hear he got killed by a spear
post #14 of 22
Think of this as a learning experience. You did find out that it had bacon in it, and you can use this knowledge in the future to know more about what you are eating.

It is very hard to determine if something has meat stock or meat used as a flavoring (like McDonald's frech fries used to have). Asking detailed questions of the cook sometimes takes care of it, but you need to compensate for cooks like your grandmother who either uses meat so much she simply doesn't distinguish between things that have meat and things that don't or she's one of those people who try to actively subvert your choice. Unfortunately, you do have to watch out for this type of person.

One thing that can help, especially in commerically catered parties with the known existance of vegetarian and non-vegetarian dishes but poor or distrupted labelling, is to have a tester for vegetarianess. I enjoy doing that at parties, as I'm a vegetarian in so far as what I cook but I don't have strong opinions about it and eat meat out sometimes.

My spouse simply doesn't eat at parties, and tries to avoid them with that as an excuse when possible.
post #15 of 22
Thread Starter 
Natalie & Calico

Please, i did not post this thread to have someone attack me for my choice. I feel very upset and slightly angry that you've said that. I have my own reasons and if you dislike them don't air it in public.

I have tried twice in my life to go completely vegetarian, and my cravings just gave in. I used to eat steak, lamb, pork alot, i mean a few times a week, roasts, stir fries etc. That i have cut those three animals out of my diet after eating them on a regular basis for 2 years, is a huge effort for me physically and mentally and i don't appreciate people telling me that i am still wrong for eating fowl/seafood if they have no lived in my body and do not know me personally.

I never claimed to be a vegetarian and i'm not attacking anyone who is, so don't attack me.
post #16 of 22
Oh, sweetie, nobody is more adamant about not eating animals than I am, but even I would never fault you for this! You're innocent here, absolutely innocent -- you were doing your very best to live up to the standard you set for yourself, and this was just an accident.

Even your Nana is probably innocent -- most people don't seem to get it that even a little bit of meat is still meat, even broth is still meat, etc. She probably just honestly didn't think the bacon mattered. (I know -- it makes no sense to me, either, but that's how most people seem to think. They don't grasp that this is a personal principle and therefore any is too much.)

You did nothing wrong. Let yourself off the hook now, darlin.
post #17 of 22
I feel compelled to add this:

In a perfect world, no being that has self-awareness and a will to live would ever be killed for the convenience of another species -- not for food, not for its fur or feathers, and certainly not for what some people try to claim is "sport."

But this is far from a perfect world, so even those who understand the ideal I just described have a very, very hard time living up to it in their own lives. To live a truly vegetarian life is extremely difficult -- you would have to give up nearly all processed foods, for example, because so many additives are derived from animal sources.

And to live a purely vegan life is virtually impossible. Almost everything we use, from toothpaste to grocery sacks to the tires on our bikes, contains elements derived from animal sources. With no requirement in the U.S. to label fruits and vegetables that have been genetically modified, a vegan can't even eat an apple without double-checking where it came from!

And that doesn't even begin to address the issue of temptation. People who are trying to evolve beyond animal cruelty must constantly fight the lure of the easier way of life they were brought up in. That's what Emma has been dealing with, and she's done an amazing job of it. Maybe someday she will give up all animal-based foods -- but right now, this is the initial step she has taken, and it's a big one, and I respect her for it.

So let's not belittle what she's trying to do.
post #18 of 22
Do you know if it was pork bacon or turkey bacon? I do eat red meat or pork but very rarely. I do eat turkey, chicken and some fish. It may have been turkey bacon. While it doesn't taste like pork bacon, it is tasty.
post #19 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
It happens.

That's kind of a cliche, but it's true. People will use broth, or lard, or whatever else that they don't think of as meat, and then tell you that there's no meat.
i'm allergic to chicken. now this includes chicken broth, which any logical person should be able to figure out... but i've had people tell me something doesn't have chicken in it... then later say, 'oh, but it does have chicken broth.' well, duh - that's chicken! it's not meat, but it's still chicken!
in your case - might've been another type of bacon, true. but in any case - since it wasn't intentional, & you're not avoiding it for health reasons [like my allergies] then i say - forgive yourself. you'll just be more diligent in the future to be very sure - just like i am about the chicken broth!
post #20 of 22
Sorry you are feeling bad about having possibly had a bit of bacon...

I went vegan a few years ago, it wasn't for me I'm afraid and gave into my craving for meat - as a south african... a braai (bbq) is an evil place to find yourself when you're trying to go vegan!

Anyway, use this past weekend as a learning curve. Accept what you cannot change and use this as a platform to make yourself more aware when a moment like this arises in the future! And next time your Nana makes something... I suggest you do this... Unless of course she's 100% sure there's no meat!
post #21 of 22
I can only tell you what works for me in situations like this. I try to think of all the unfortunate people who have really, really serious illnesses and problems and then I can re-focus and give thanks that my problems are so minimal.
post #22 of 22
It happened to me once and it was my own fault. At least you couldn't help it.

I bought an eggplant parmesan. I ALWAYS read the labels, but since I had this brand before, I didn't see a need to. I accidently picked up BAKED eggplant parmesan and it had meat in it! I didn't realize it until I ate some. Of course, I threw it away after the 1st bite.
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