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I am so mad (DH rant)

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
He keeps telling me he's going to take me fishing and then doesn't. He went with his friend Monday and Tuesday. Last night he told me we'd go tonight and then today he said he wants a break and that he will take me to a really good place tomorrow. I was just got home from my Moms to catch him leaving to FISHING with his friend. I got ticked and started cussing him out. He's like maybe I'd take you if you would quit being such a jerk. I said well quit lying to me about taking me fishing when you have no intention of doing it. I just want to go me and him. Tomorrow he has to drag his dumb friend along.
post #2 of 10
Sounds like he needs some space, and so do you. When you force someone to do something with you, neither of you will enjoy it, and he'll resent you for coming and you'll resent him for not wanting you there. Maybe fishing is some bizarre sacred man-time thing for him, and he feels stupid telling you that.

Though, I feel you on that, you shouldn't have to force him to want you along.

Maybe suggest doing something else together, or go fishing without him with a friend (if it is about the fishing, and not about spending time together). There's probably something else you two could do that wouldn't be threatening his guy-time, that you would enjoy more. It sounds like he's been doing a lot of fishing lately

Either way, give it a bit until you're both calmer and can talk about it rationally without cursing and yelling and can figure out what's actually going on here.
post #3 of 10
There is something else going on to make him not take you fishing. (That was a rather awkward sentence, wasn't it?)

I agree that you can't force someone to take you along. What fun would that be anyway?
post #4 of 10
OMG! You are a fisherman's widow. I think that there is a legal definition about that.

Well, if you can't beat him than join him. Unfortunately if you don't like fishing and if he doesn't want you there, then you should set out times that you should be together and times apart. Make it 1/3 together and 2/3 where you go off and do what you want to do with your friends. Then, go out with the girls, shopping, to the theater, for dinner and drinks and have a good time. Come home late when he has to be up early for the fish.

My cousin ice fishes on White Lake in the Catskills (BTW that is where Woodstock was held, not in Woodstock, NY). His late wife taught me these things. DH doesn't like to fish or hunt, thank goodness.

Really, charge bills have a way of opening up conversations.
post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 
I love to fish. That's why I'm so mad that he keeps saying he'll take me and doesn't.
post #6 of 10
Well, why not go on your own fishing trip and make sure you leave when he is at home and then refuse to take him along if he asks. The best revenge would be to bring home a gigantic fish or two and ask him why he never catches fish that big?
post #7 of 10
I agree with Weldrwomn! Go on your own awesome fishing trip, leave while he is there, and refuse to take him along. Come back with a great fish (or, if you don't catch that awesome fish, come back with a huge smile on your face).

post #8 of 10
Awww, there must be a reason why he is avoiding taking you..have you asked him straight up whats going on?
post #9 of 10
It sounds to me like there are serious issues in your relationship that goes beyond him not wanting to take you fishing.

Him making promises to take you some place and then not following through is a symptom of something else that is seriously wrong.

I think you both need to sit down and talk openly about your relationship, money and future together as a couple.

I know money has been an issue based on your posts. Also I think I remember you having recently had a miscarriage. Perhaps he's feeling a great deal of pressure and stress and this is his way of escaping and trying to forget for a while.

I really think you both need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk without yelling and placing blame, about your relationship and how things are and how things can be improved.
post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
It sounds to me like there are serious issues in your relationship that goes beyond him not wanting to take you fishing.

Him making promises to take you some place and then not following through is a symptom of something else that is seriously wrong.

I think you both need to sit down and talk openly about your relationship, money and future together as a couple.

I know money has been an issue based on your posts. Also I think I remember you having recently had a miscarriage. Perhaps he's feeling a great deal of pressure and stress and this is his way of escaping and trying to forget for a while.

I really think you both need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk without yelling and placing blame, about your relationship and how things are and how things can be improved.
I haven't had a miscarriage but money is sometimes a problem. We talked last night and he said he's not taking me because I've been beechy. I told him I wouldn't be that way if he'd just follow through. He's like "yeah that's true."
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