I've been thinking a lot about school lately and deciding what to do about it. Some(if not most of you) know I am a math major with a minor in psychology. What most(if not all of you) don't know is that I was considered special education K-12 and no one EVER expected me to go to college. I had several psychological problems growing up and it just didn't seem like college would ever happen but when my grades started going up my sophmore and junior years my parents took the college ball and ran with it. Then I got a 28 on my ACT's and sure enough I got accpeted to 3 colleges as a non-special needs student.
Well that was 4 years ago(5 in the fall) and I just don't know of I am cut out to be here anymore. I have barely kept my head above water here and am currently holding down a 1.8 gpa and on final probation for the 7th time. Graduation looks to be only a year to two years off so it is with in reach but I just don't know if I want to do it anymore.
Being special ed when I was younger, I got used to being told I was stupid on a daily basis, and even though my teachers never said it to my face they all thought it. I was the kid that got ALL the attention while the kids that really needed it were left to fend for themselves. It irritated me so much that I was always getting bothered and when I accelerated in math I took it and ran with it. I even tested into honers classes my Junior year but my dad wouldn't let me take them, fearing that I wouldn't be able to keep up.
Well I don't know if I can finish the race, math is no longer fun for me especially the things I have left. Statistics, Advanced Calculus, and Modern Algebra are the hardest classes this university offers and I need a A-B average to graduate. And those are the only classes I have left. The way it is planned right now I am taking Statistics this summer, Advanced Calculus in the fall, and Modern Algebra in the spring. I had to take Calculus I three times to finally pass it with a C(though really could have done it easily in two if I had just gone to class) and I have been REALLY struggling with my math classes lately not getting higher than a D in anything for the last 3-4 semesters, other than differential equations which I took for a second time over last summer and passed with a C. Though passing that with a C with that teacher is like getting a B in a normal class, he asked for so much more and I gave it to him so maybe thats a positive.
Psychology is going much better than math but changing my major now would add at least another year. And both my dad and my girlfriend are getting antsy for me to graduate. I wouldn't mind spending the extra time, because it would mean I would be doing something I love but I really don't want to have to be apart from my girlfriend longer than I have to. As things stand now I will be moving up there the day after I graduate when ever that will be.
If I graduate that is...I really don't know if I want to finish. I think I might be happier just moving up to Canada now and getting a job somewhere. Their are hundreds of places hiring in Hamilton now...true their fast food places but at least its a job. And I would be with my girlfriend which is a plus...but then again I would be proving everyone that said I would fail right. I had so many people believe that I would never get this far or finish and if I don't...I would be proving them right...and that doesn't sit well with me at all.
My own grandmother doesn't even expect me to finish college. She didn't even expect me to finish Highschool. Just because her son is a doctor, no one else matters and no one else will EVER be as good as he is in her eyes. Even if I do finish she will find some way where my dad did it better than me. Granted he was the only one of 3 kids to go to College and I don't think anyone in my Grandmothers generation went to College so I think my dad was the first.
I just don't know what I want to do anymore...Its been a great run while it lasted and I have done something that no one expected me to do but...I don't know if I can finish.
Any advice/vibes would be appreciated.
Well that was 4 years ago(5 in the fall) and I just don't know of I am cut out to be here anymore. I have barely kept my head above water here and am currently holding down a 1.8 gpa and on final probation for the 7th time. Graduation looks to be only a year to two years off so it is with in reach but I just don't know if I want to do it anymore.
Being special ed when I was younger, I got used to being told I was stupid on a daily basis, and even though my teachers never said it to my face they all thought it. I was the kid that got ALL the attention while the kids that really needed it were left to fend for themselves. It irritated me so much that I was always getting bothered and when I accelerated in math I took it and ran with it. I even tested into honers classes my Junior year but my dad wouldn't let me take them, fearing that I wouldn't be able to keep up.
Well I don't know if I can finish the race, math is no longer fun for me especially the things I have left. Statistics, Advanced Calculus, and Modern Algebra are the hardest classes this university offers and I need a A-B average to graduate. And those are the only classes I have left. The way it is planned right now I am taking Statistics this summer, Advanced Calculus in the fall, and Modern Algebra in the spring. I had to take Calculus I three times to finally pass it with a C(though really could have done it easily in two if I had just gone to class) and I have been REALLY struggling with my math classes lately not getting higher than a D in anything for the last 3-4 semesters, other than differential equations which I took for a second time over last summer and passed with a C. Though passing that with a C with that teacher is like getting a B in a normal class, he asked for so much more and I gave it to him so maybe thats a positive.
Psychology is going much better than math but changing my major now would add at least another year. And both my dad and my girlfriend are getting antsy for me to graduate. I wouldn't mind spending the extra time, because it would mean I would be doing something I love but I really don't want to have to be apart from my girlfriend longer than I have to. As things stand now I will be moving up there the day after I graduate when ever that will be.
If I graduate that is...I really don't know if I want to finish. I think I might be happier just moving up to Canada now and getting a job somewhere. Their are hundreds of places hiring in Hamilton now...true their fast food places but at least its a job. And I would be with my girlfriend which is a plus...but then again I would be proving everyone that said I would fail right. I had so many people believe that I would never get this far or finish and if I don't...I would be proving them right...and that doesn't sit well with me at all.
My own grandmother doesn't even expect me to finish college. She didn't even expect me to finish Highschool. Just because her son is a doctor, no one else matters and no one else will EVER be as good as he is in her eyes. Even if I do finish she will find some way where my dad did it better than me. Granted he was the only one of 3 kids to go to College and I don't think anyone in my Grandmothers generation went to College so I think my dad was the first.
I just don't know what I want to do anymore...Its been a great run while it lasted and I have done something that no one expected me to do but...I don't know if I can finish.
Any advice/vibes would be appreciated.