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OMG Im so mad, i need to calm down

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Oh where do i even start?
I moved to a new house about 2 weeks ago with nice new white carpets, I bought two baby gates to block the dogs from the carpeted areas. When we leave the house we leave the dogs in the kitchen where there is hardwood floors. two days ago I got the carpets cleaned in the living room.

Before I left the house today my roomie was vacumming, I told her before I left to make sure the gates are secured before she leaves so the dogs dont get out. I come home and sure enough two of the dogs got out, one was my Sydney and the other was her dog Charlie. I quickly relaize Charlie had peed all over the living room floor and by the dining room, not only that but she left the cats door open (which we keep closed) and they ate his food and litterbox "stuff"

Im so annoyed! This isnt the first time Charlie has peed were he isnt suppose to and at my old house he peed all over my two couches outside, which I didnt even take to the new house cause they smelled. She never even offered to clean those.
On Monday I had a BBq and some guy spilt a red drink all over the carpets, and my other friend had brought his dog over and it peed on my couch!

Im so sick of other people and other peoples dogs ruining my stuff!
Its never my dogs, its always her, or whoever elses dog is over at the time.
Im so freaking frustated.

I sent her a text message telling her what happened and that the carpet guys need to come back and that I am NOT paying for it. I also said from now on when you are not home your dog is going to be in YOUR room, locked in.

Im seriously so sick of this. We just moved here, I just had the carpets cleaned and her dumb dog pees all over it. To be honest I want him out, im tired of him here. She doesnt pay rent so if I want him out I can have him out, but this is my best friend so im not sure if I should do that yet, or maybe give him one more chance?

For as long as I can remeber other people have ruined my stuff, "accidents" of course, nothing on purpose, but im so sick of it and no one ever offers to pay for it? I dont get it, if I went to someones house and my puppy peed on their couch, I would offer to have it steam cleaned.

Im making a new rule, no dogs but mine can be in the house and roam, Charlie is to be locked up whenever my roomie isnt here, and no one is allowed in any room with carpets if they have a drink, its the kitchen, outside patio or nothing dont bother coming over.

Does anyone else have this issue or am I the only one with inconsiderate friends?

I want to scream!
post #2 of 12
That sounds very frustrating!
If it were me I would probably ask her to pay for one of those carpet spot shampooers (like the Bissell SpotBot Pet.)
post #3 of 12
No you're not the only one with inconsiderate friends - or maybe roomates. I could tell you stories, but this is YOUR vent!
I feel kinda bad for the dog, because it sounds like your roomie hasn't done what she needs to do to get him to be a welcome member of the household.

The rule is, it's never the dog's fault - it's always the owner's fault.

If your friend with the dog who pees on your couch comes over, I'd say he needs to leave the dog home. His dog can pee on HIS couch while he's at your BBQ.

As for your roomie, assuming that there is no medical reason why her dog is peeing indoors, she needs to go back to housetraining 101. It's not rocket science, dogs are EASY to train compared to cats. But "one more chance" won't do it. When you housetrain dogs, it's not like they suddenly "get it" and then from that day on they're housetrained. It's more like, they get it right more and more often and mess up less and less often until one day you realize they haven't had any accidents in a long time. But depending on the dog's history, it could take a couple of months. If this is a petstore dog, a dog who was cooped up in a kennel for any length of time, or a dog who is just in the habit of messing in the house, it could take longer.

Good luck to you, and if you get the chance to walk the dog outside and he pees or poos, make a point of cooing over him and praising him, it'll go a long way.
post #4 of 12
Take the time to sit down and write up some rules and when you are done, everyone sign the paper. If the rules are broken, then its time to tell your friend to find a new place and take the animals with them.

Be sure to also include what happens when the rules are broken - time frame for moving out. Spell everything out so there is no misunderstanding.
post #5 of 12
Spines are free, and everyone has one. Use yours.

People are not good friends if they damage your stuff and don't even offer to replace/repair it. Those people are called, at best, irresponsible/inconsiderate, and, at worst, mooches and users. You've got someone freeloading in your house with a dog who keeps peeing all over your stuff. The money she's saving in rent could easily be spent on a dog trainer and a carpet cleaning service.

If your friend can't handle the kind of conversation you two need to have, perhaps your friendship isn't so strong.

The dog needs to be trained. Your friend needs to be trained. Or maybe they both need to find a new place to live.
post #6 of 12
I totally agree with previous posters that it is NOT the dog's fault, it's the owner's fault. And a BEST friend would not abuse your home. Have the talk and have it immediately.

The only part I find a bit too strict is that you will not permit anyone on the carpeted areas if they have a drink. Again, considerate people don't spill their drinks or act goofy when holding one. Perhaps it's the caliber of people you are allowing in to your home. If I came to your home and you told me I could not sit down with a soft drink and enjoy watching TV or reading, I would find that a bit odd and probably wouldn't visit again.

Laying white carpet is a gamble.
post #7 of 12
I actually can't understand why you are allowing her to still live with you when she appears to be abusing your hospitality, generosity and good nature. You shouldn't blame the dog - he's clearly never been looked after. It all appears to be her fault and I wouldn't be saying the dog has to go, I'd be saying SHE has to go!

I bet if you sat down and thought about it, there'd be a lot more to her treatment of you than just this one incident with her dog. I'd say that there is a real history and pattern of her taking advantage of you and IMO it's that history you need to address and not this incident with her dog.

She needs to be kicked out on her bum, seriously. You'd be much happier alone!
post #8 of 12
I agree with the other posts, your friend REALLY needs to sort out her dog, and maybe look after him better than what she is now? Also, you both need time to sit down and have a chat about laying down some new rules, after all, it is your home and she needs to know the rights and wrongs of what she is doing.
post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
Well first I want to say she does take good care of her dog, its not like she ignores him or he isnt trained. She got him from her cousin who had abused him, by hitting and yelling. She took him in and ever since he has been a very sweet dog, everyone loves him. Problem is he wasnt nuetered, when she moved in with me 6 months ago, and he peed on my couches outside I told her he needs to be nuetered and I pushed her until she did it. The marking went away and we thought everything was fine. When we moved to the new house he was peeing on the patio, given its outside, I still didnt want any pee on the patio were people hangout, so I got that point across very quickly and he stopped and she made sure he never did that agian. And right now she is working two jobs, she has one week left at her old one and then she will be home more, hopefully.

When she lived at her parents house with Charlie, they had him mostly outside where he did fine, and when he was inside he was only allowed on the hardwood, and Im thinking of telling her the same rules are going to apply here from now on.

Oh and as for the no drinking on the carpets, I meant only in a party situation when people are getting tipsy.
And I am renting, so I didnt choose the white carpets, I actually really like them, but would have prefered something darker. But I have a system set up here so the dogs are never unsupervised on the carpet, it just pisses me off when she doesnt check to make sure the gates are secure, I always check.

I think the reason I let her still live here, is I like the company, I like knowing im not alone. And even though I do get mad about the dog situation and maybe some other normal household roommate things, she really is one of the best roommates i have had, and what i mean is everytime I tell her something that is bothering me or something she is doing wrong, she always listens and then does what I ask, given sometimes she forgets, but she never gets pissy, and tries to do better.

But your right we need to have a talk and we will hopefully this morning when she wakes up, its frustrating for me cause of the two jobs she isnt around much for now.
Ive been dealing with all this moving stuff, and my old landlord who has been giving me heck, and Im constantly waiting around for repair men and I feel like I do it all on my own, then to come home with the house covered in pee was the straw that broke the camels back. Thats when it hit me, that its not just her and her dog its everyone I know!

Oh and I told my other friend whose puppy peed on my couch that he cant bring her anymore, and he said "but she is just a puppy." And I told him I dont care I just moved to this new house and she has peed twice and once on my couch, your not attentive enough and my stuff is getting ruined. So that wont be a problem anymore either.
post #10 of 12
Well that all makes sense.
Your roomie sounds like a kind sweet person. But if she's working two jobs there is no way she is going to be able to do remedial housetraining with this dog. Someone has to watch him 24/7, take him on walks, play with him etc, otherwise he is going to keep on peeing where he shouldn't. Neutering will help some with marking problems but it's not a fix for housetraining. I guess I'm curious what this dog's average day is like.

And boohoo to your friend who thinks his dog can pee on your couch because he's "just a puppy." How lame is that?
post #11 of 12
Thread Starter 
Its weird cause normally, day to day, this dog is just very mellow and and all around good boy, he is pretty calm and most of the time is just laying on his bed sleeping when she is gone. Its not like accidents happen all the time, but they do happen, like when he first came to live with us and when we first moved in here. Him peeing on the carpets like he did was out of character, he is usually just an outside marking dog if he marks. We taught him not to pee on the patio and as far as I know he hasnt since I told her he was doing it. This accident yesterday threw me off gaurd and made me mad. He is healthy, so he isnt sick, im not sure what happened to make him pee.

He is kinda nervous if he is in trouble and if you go to grab him to take him out of the situation or room, he pees cause he gets scared, but that hasnt happened with me, she told me that happened with her dad cause he can be very intimidating. She told me this when I yelled at him once, but what I dont understand is, if you cant raise your voice to a dog or punish it for being bad, then how do you train it?

He is the only dog always trying to escape the gates when they are up, that makes me mad too cause when he is determined , he will do it. He just never has done it with me, but I always double check, having 4 dogs of my own I learned the lesson of not double checking a long time ago.

I got so mad cause if it were me and I lived with someone rent free, I would make sure that my dog never ever peed or ruined anything, I would feel awful and I wouldnt do that to someone. If I knew my dog had peed in the past I would take preventitive measures to insure my dog doesnt do it agian in the future.

A while ago I had been crating my girl Syd cause she couldnt be trusted, I felt awful but I knew that was the only way to ensure she wouldnt cause any damage or have an accidents if I wasnt around. I just figure other people would do the same.
post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
He is kinda nervous if he is in trouble and if you go to grab him to take him out of the situation or room, he pees cause he gets scared, but that hasnt happened with me, she told me that happened with her dad cause he can be very intimidating. She told me this when I yelled at him once, but what I dont understand is, if you cant raise your voice to a dog or punish it for being bad, then how do you train it?

I got so mad cause if it were me and I lived with someone rent free, I would make sure that my dog never ever peed or ruined anything, I would feel awful and I wouldnt do that to someone. If I knew my dog had peed in the past I would take preventitive measures to insure my dog doesnt do it agian in the future.
The answer is it is hard and frustrating. If you have a dog who pees when he's scared or excited (submissive urination) then if you holler at them, they'll pee. Since this dog was abused by your roomie's cousin, he probably thinks if he gets yelled at, the next thing that is going to happen is someone is going to hit him. So he tries to ward it off by peeing-this is a dog's way of letting you know he is utterly submissive. So if you yell because of THAT it turns into a vicious cycle.

One of my dogs came out of a lousy situation and I really had to work on my voice so as not to yell at her. The only thing that works is positive reinforcement when they get it right, and ignore it when they get it wrong. What helps these kind of dogs if obedience training (simple commands like "sit" "stay" "down") because they build the dog's confidence.

I agree with you totally about not letting the dog pee and ruin things. I try very hard to make sure my dogs leave a good impression wherever they go. but if this boy has been abused and now your roomie isn't there to train him (I'm not blaming her, heck if she is working two jobs it's not like she's sitting around being a bum) it is going to make it hard. I think when she has more time then she could be with the dog more and give him some remedial housetraining. That means take him out a lot and when he pees or poos outside, praise him and even give him a treat. They usually catch on quick if you do it that way.
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