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Wedding question re: Flowergirls

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Hey guys,

I want to include my neices in the wedding. They will be 4 and 9 next year..

The 4 year old will be a flowergirl, but what can I do with the 9 year old?? Can she be a flower girl too or is she too old?

Just want to know whats common normally..

Thanks!
post #2 of 21
I think it would be adorable to have them both as flower girls; matching dresses would be lovely. The older one can help the younger if she gets scared to walk down the isle. An alternative is to include the nine-year old as a junior bridesmaid, you can ask her which she'd rather do if you don't have an opinion on it.

Forget tradition - you should include them however you want since it's your wedding. Congratulations by the way!

p.s. Normally, flower girls range from three to seven, but they can be older. The four year-old very likely will not want to walk by herself, so it makes sense to have her with your older niece.
post #3 of 21
I was a flower girl at my grandmother's remarriage when I was about 9 or 10 years old.
post #4 of 21
She could be a junior bridesmaid... I was one in my mom's cousin's wedding way back when... my dress was similar to the bridesmaids' but not quite as "adult" and it was the same color and I walked down the isle with my cousin (male) who's like 2 years older than me
post #5 of 21
I was a flower girl at my dads wedding when I was 9 or 10, at his next wedding my younger sister was one at around 11 years old.

To me, a junior bridesmaid is a teenager, anything under that is still flower girl.
post #6 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by missymotus View Post
To me, a junior bridesmaid is a teenager, anything under that is still flower girl.
Ditto that!
post #7 of 21
Both can be flower girls or make the older one a Junior Bridesmaid. Are you planning on them carrying real or artificial/silk flowers?
post #8 of 21
When my best friend was married she had her future husband 3 neices all as flower girls..they all walked side by side .They were 4, 6, and 8 and they were adorable.. I think since it's your wedding you should be able to do it how you like.
post #9 of 21
You have a few options- you could let them both be flower girls and walk down the isle together (actually not a bad idea as sometimes the little ones get nervous with all those poeple watching them) or you could have her be a little junior bridesmaid. I had 4 kiddos in my wedding recently. My niece Taylor is 13- she was my junior bridesmaid. My nephew Isaac is 12 - he was my junior groomsman (he actually pre lit the candle for the unity ceremony for us so he had a little job to do too). My nephew Cooper is 10 -he was our ring bearer...and my coworker's little girl Emma who is around the same age as your little niece, was our flower girl. It all turned out wonderful and was such a nice touch to have all of the kids that were so important to us be a part of our big day

What we did in my wedding was have my nephew Cooper (the ring bearer) walk down the isle with my flower girl and hold hands. It was sooo prescious!!! My flower girl Emma was your youngest niece's age and definitely did better having someone beside her to help her down the isle. We had her momma waiting in the pew near the front of the isle so that when she got close to the end, she could sit with her momma instead of standing up at the altar. I'm glad we did that- i think it was a lot less stressful on Emma that way, especially since she's so young. It also worked out really well that Emma was left handed. Cooper held his ring pillow in his right hand, then held Emmas hand and the basket with his left hand while they walked down the isle and Emma reached into the basket with her left hand. It worked out perfectly

This is one of when they were walking down the isle (Emma was concentrating lol)


This is one they took before the wedding started



If you have a ring bearer you might consider doing something similar. It really helped both of them to have each other walking down together so they didn't get so nervous. This is your big day though hon- whatever you do i'm sure it will be just wonderful!!! You do whatever you think will look best and just enjoy your day!!!
post #10 of 21
I agree, it's your wedding so do it the way you want, but I understand at 9 years old it's kind of too old to be flower girl, and too young to be a junior bridesmaid. We had our neice be our flower girl (age 10) but she wore a dress the same color as the bridesmaids and a similar style. She walked down the aisle with our ring-barer (nephew, age 5) but instead of throwing flowers, she carried 3 roses representing my parents and DH's father and put them in a vase on the alter in memory of them, so it gave her the feeling of doing something important and added a lot to the ceremony.

Maybe your older niece could be "senior" flower girl or maybe have her carry the roses for your mothers (if you're doing that) or something like that.
post #11 of 21
Thread Starter 
Okay another question: What does the ring bearer actually do? I thought the wedding bands were held by the MOH and the BestMan?
post #12 of 21
I don't think 9 is too old to be a flower girl. And she can keep the 4 year old on track.
post #13 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjazz2u View Post
I don't think 9 is too old to be a flower girl. And she can keep the 4 year old on track.
OMG, I know, my little neice is a real Sheister
post #14 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
Okay another question: What does the ring bearer actually do? I thought the wedding bands were held by the MOH and the BestMan?
i think, usually, the real ones are. the ring bearer carries a small pillow w/2 inexpensive gold bands tied to it for show... at least, my nephew did at my brother's wedding.
post #15 of 21
I had my cousin's daughter in my wedding as a Junior Bridesmaid at about that age. My ring-bearer was 5 so I had another little girl act as flower girl. It made her feel really grown up.

Oh, and as far as the ring-bearer for our wedding, yep 2 cheap gold colored rings (the kind you put on favors). What we did was glue down one of the roses from our flowers (open dark red silk ones) and then we glued the 2 rings so they were coming out the center of the flower. Worked well and when Josh started tossing the pillow up in the air durring the ceremony all my MIL had to do was snatch him to her seat...not get him and then look for the wedding bands!

A thing my friend did for her flower girls was to get these really small chairs (almost doll size, but made for kids) and put them up front. They did better sitting than standing during the ceremony. The chairs were painted white with their names on them. For another friend's wedding (I was MOH) when the little girl got fidgety, I had her sit down. But that only worked because her dress was so poofy she couldn't expose herself or anything.
post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
Okay another question: What does the ring bearer actually do? I thought the wedding bands were held by the MOH and the BestMan?
Because our ring bearer was old enough and responsible enough to be trusted with our wedding rings- we did let him walk down the isle with out actual rings. (had it been a younger or less responsible little one though i probably would have used fake ones). He stood up at the altar with the rest of us and then when it was time for the blessing of the rings ceremony, my ring bearer went up to our best man and offered the rings to him and then he untied them and passed them to the preacher (sounds complicated, but it actually turned out quite nicely.)

There's soo many ways you can do it though- you just kind of have to figure out what you like best and go with it
post #17 of 21
Trav and I were having this conversation the other day, it really means a lot to me that my dad gives me away to him even though we will be already married, but i need to have the ceremony part to make my mind at ease.
I am going to ask a friend of mine if her daughter would like to be the flower girl
post #18 of 21
I had Neil's 4 yr old niece as the flower girl. She wore a dress about the same shade and color of the bridesmaids and carried a white wicker basket with flowers. She did real well at the rehearsal but the wedding ceremony was a bit longer and she got a bit restless and started swinging the basket around.

Perhaps the 9 yrs old could carry the guest book around for people to sign????

Just a world of advice on their dresses-its your day and you should shine-I've been to many many weddings where the flowergirl wore a dress similar to the bride and many guests talked about that dress instead of the brides!! IMO you should be the only one wearing white.
post #19 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
Okay another question: What does the ring bearer actually do? I thought the wedding bands were held by the MOH and the BestMan?
A ring bearer just basically carries a pillow with fake rings but traditionally, the BM is in charge of the real rings. It's really just an honorary thing so everyone can ohh and ahh over him, but unless you use a child very responsible, I don't suggest actually letting him have charge of the rings. That could be something you could do with your older neice though...have he carry the rings and give them to the BM when they get to the alter....it's a thought...

When I was planning my wedding I was on a wedding forum, and one girl had a VERY well trained dog that was her ring bearer. He heeled at the grooms side throughout the ceremony and when it came time for the ring exchange, the BM took them off his collar and gave them to the minister! It sounded so cute! Think Trout is up for that??
post #20 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
A ring bearer just basically carries a pillow with fake rings but traditionally, the BM is in charge of the real rings.
at my sister's wedding, the best man had her ring, & i had her groom's [i was MOH].
post #21 of 21
Yup..ring bearers usually carry fake rings..................are you kidding? Are you going to trust a small child with the real wedding rings? I mean really.........it's enough of a chance trusting the best man! LOL I think your nine year old niece would be adorable as a junior bridesmaid.........and she would feel really grown up doing it!
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