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My Heart is Heavy

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
A friend just told me today she has 5-6 years to live. I didn't know that. I know she has AIDS, and is an activist for those who cannot speak for themselves.

She is a step-mom (and only mom her daughter has known since two years of age) and her husband has cancer. They have been sending their 8-year-old to grief counseling. She needs to start understanding that she will not have any parents in about five years.

Their daughter's biological mom is a drug addict on the streets. She has no custody rights for many good reasons.

My friend has AIDS from transfusions for childhood cancer when she was seven. Her parents were killed in a car accident when she was nine.

Just when I start thinking the world is full of jerks, it always amazes me how strong the human spirit is.
post #2 of 23
OMG how sad You think you got it bad till you hear a story like this, it certainly puts a lot of things in perspective doesn't it. God Bless them and give them strength
post #3 of 23
I can relate and can completely sympathize with her daughter. May she find the courage and the strength to carry on with her life. Life is not fair and never what we expect it to be.

Where does she go for her counseling?

Does she have any aunts or uncles she could go to?
post #4 of 23
Prayers for her.
post #5 of 23
It's hard to imagine trying to explain this to an 8 year old, that the girl could understand at such an age.
post #6 of 23
Wow, how heartwrenching I can't even imagine what that family must be going through. That poor girl

I sometimes don't understand how such sad things can even happen.
post #7 of 23
I am very sorry HUG HUG HUG
post #8 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella713 View Post
OMG how sad You think you got it bad till you hear a story like this, it certainly puts a lot of things in perspective doesn't it. God Bless them and give them strength
OMG. to all of them. to you, too.
post #9 of 23
What a sad story. That poor family.
post #10 of 23
I'm sorry about your friend

I have to say that I have never heard anyone being given "5 to 6 years to live." Five to six years is a long time to predict ahead of time. Do you perhaps mean months?

I know you said she has "AIDS', but is it actually AIDS now or is it HIV? They are actually different. AIDS is when you start to acquire AIDS related illnesses. If she does have AIDS, what disease does she have that the doctors based their prediction on? You don't die from AIDS, you die from a disease/sickness that you acquire because of AIDS.

Is she on medications? Back in the 1980's getting HIV was a death sentence. It isn't that way now. While there is no cure for HIV, science has made great strides with prolonging life and warding off disease. It's not uncommon for someone with HIV or even AIDS to live 20 plus years or more, provided they take care of their health and take antiviral medications to suppress the virus.
post #11 of 23
I don't understand how so much anguish can be heaped on a single family. I'm so sorry.
post #12 of 23
my prayers are definitely with that family. what kind of cancer does the father have if you don't mind me asking?

any idea where the little girl will go should something happen to the parents?
post #13 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess15 View Post
Where does she go for her counseling?

Does she have any aunts or uncles she could go to?
I don't know where she goes for counseling (other than here in Victoria). I believe it is provided by the Canadian government in some kind of program. (I'm American.)

My friend said that her daughter will be going to relatives in the East. I asked, and she said that they are not strangers and know each other.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
...I have to say that I have never heard anyone being given "5 to 6 years to live." Five to six years is a long time to predict ahead of time. Do you perhaps mean months?
No one gave her any kind of timeline - it is her own. She said she is seeing herself starting to waste away, and she's seen it happen like this before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I know you said she has "AIDS', but is it actually AIDS now or is it HIV? They are actually different. AIDS is when you start to acquire AIDS related illnesses. If she does have AIDS, what disease does she have that the doctors based their prediction on? You don't die from AIDS, you die from a disease/sickness that you acquire because of AIDS.
AIDS and several related illnesses.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Is she on medications? Back in the 1980's getting HIV was a death sentence. It isn't that way now. While there is no cure for HIV, science has made great strides with prolonging life and warding off disease. It's not uncommon for someone with HIV or even AIDS to live 20 plus years or more, provided they take care of their health and take antiviral medications to suppress the virus.
She's on lots of meds. She got HIV when she was a child; I believe about 25 years ago.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR View Post
my prayers are definitely with that family. what kind of cancer does the father have if you don't mind me asking?
I didn't know the name; something to do with his blood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR View Post
any idea where the little girl will go should something happen to the parents?
Family back East.

Evidently, the daughter doesn't want to talk about it to her parents or the therapist, so they are going to "cool it for a while."

Sorry to post such a bummer.
post #14 of 23
I watched someone die of the related illness and it was not pretty.. Hopefully a breackthru for the strain she has will come soon
post #15 of 23
I'm glad to hear the little girl has somewhere to go if need be.In the mean time, even though they're having it rough and facing some pretty bleak odds....maybe they can still try to just enjoy the time they have together and make some good memories with the little one. I bet they still have some good time left Nobody truely knows the future aside from we are all born and will all pass at a certain time- until that time though we can just live day to day. I'm sure that little girl and that family will cherish however long they have together and have a good time making memories as a family. My heart and prayers will definitely be with them though. Do keep us updated on them
post #16 of 23
Oh man how heartbreaking for everyone Do you know if the father's cancer is terminal? I hope he can pull through - it's not fair for one family to have to go through so much.
post #17 of 23
That's so sad. It's good that their little girl has somewhere to go, but like someone else said, I think they should try their best to enjoy their time together.
post #18 of 23
Wow, what an incredibly sad situation all around. My heart goes out to your friend and their family.
post #19 of 23
Oh my! That is so heartbreaking My thoughts are prayers are with your friends and family
post #20 of 23
What a tragic situation. This family will be in my thoughts.
post #21 of 23
Sending lots and lots of TCS prayers and vibes for all of you that miracles occur and that poor little girl is given plenty of time with her parents.
I recently lost a very dear friend who was like my sister (we introduced ourselves as step-sisters). She had a brain tumor (actually tumors on her spine and brain - she thought she had back pain from a long ago auto accident, until the uncontrollable headache manifested itself). Her little girl is only 9yrs - such tragedy At least my friend's daughter still has her dad - they were such a good, happy family - the husband was such a wonderful loving guy - it seemed to good to be true, and as it is, it didn't last long. So discouraging....
post #22 of 23
for the family
post #23 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR
my prayers are definitely with that family. what kind of cancer does the father have if you don't mind me asking?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
I didn't know the name; something to do with his blood.
Blood Cancers are leukemia, lymphoma (Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkins) and myeloma.

My son has leukemia - it is a cancer that affects the bone marrow.

My husband's sister had lymphoma, it affects the lymph nodes. When my SIL was diagnosed, her prognosis was bleak beyond 5 years, but she exceeded that twofold! She passed away almost 5 years ago, she was in her early 40's, but she put up a fight and lived to the fullest! Her daughter's miss her terribly but her memory lives on. Their children (who never knew their grandma) swear they know her just from the stories!

I hope your friends defy all odds!
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