Old cat new human

Hello all, I have recently moved in with my girlfriend who owns two cats, a tabby and a siamese. Before I met her, I was by no means a cat person. But after spending time with the Tabby (Cate) my entire opinion about cats changed, she was nervous at first but after a month or two she warmed up and is an exceedingly sweet cat who I have become deeply attached to. She is the older of the two and had a harsh life until my girlfriend rescued her, she is now the coolest cat I have ever been in contact with. The problem is the siamese, (Amy). I'm told she was fairly normal until my girlfriends room mate moved in and spoiled her, allowing her to get away with murder and basically destroying any boundries the cat once respected... I wanted to read up on the animals so I could be involved and really care for them (yes litter and all) I know Siamese tend to be a little tempermental at times. She is not very social (at all) and I respect that, I don't want to force myself on the cat but she has taken to honestly just flat out hating me. She will hiss anytime I am near (like 5 or 6 feet away) gets very crabby with me when feeding her, or changing litter or sleeping at night. I understand my presence is change for her, but I would like to think I have made it as low stress as possible. She has now taken to deficating on the floor and couches. I don't want to punish her for it because I doubt she would get why she was in trouble. But I just don't know how to deal with a cat that violently hates me and causes all the trouble she can, when the Tabby is quite fine with my presence. I have grown to love both cats (even though Amy hates me) so I really want to find a way to make this better. My girlfriend fears I will hate Amy and ask her to give her away (which I wouldn't do, can't imagine asking her to give away the cat she raised from a baby) But what if we have a child in the future? I fear if her behavior isn't corrected she could hurt the child (or any children for that matter)... So I don't want to lose the cat but I want to lose her attitude. I have been as nice as possible, never getting in her way and trying not to be some kind of new father to her.

I do not think Amy violently hates you since she has not attacked you or anything like that. Also, the toilet problem could be a sign of illness.
I recall reading in a thread that putting treats for Amy on one of your old, used shirts can help change her attitude towards you. She will learn to associate good things with you. Your girlfriend can also praise her whenever she acts nice with you.

She has actually attacked me several times, she has been declawed so she cannot scratch me but she has bitten me a good half dozen times. (nothing severe but deffinatly shocked me) She has been to the vet recently and is all clear of sickness. The girlfriend and I do reward her for not acting up (ie sleeping in our beed quietly all night). I will however try the treats on an old shirt idea.

Originally Posted by Jamison

she has been declawed so she cannot scratch me

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Sorry to hear she's a declawed kitty/.

siamese can definitely have their own way, which is what can be quite amazing about them. It sounds like she is one upset kitty and hopefully people will come with help. Maybe try buying some interactive toys you can use to play with her. Try da bird. It's a great toy, siamese love it and maybe she'll start associating you with play time, feed her treats after you play. Then whenever she wants to be left alone just don't push it, and don't pat her is she seems at all upset, that is when they are most likely to bite (overstimulation)

I really hope this works out becasue it really seems like you are trying.

FYI just to let you know this site is 'anti declaw' so people might say something about that. But obviously you didn't do this and I don't think this has anything to do with your problem (although they are more likely to bit instead of scratch), so I reccomend you just ignore it for this problem.

If I can think of anything else I'll post again........

Thanks for you help, and yes for the record she was received from the shelter spayed and declawed (she was also malnurished, had earmites and several other issues) So thanks for your input Yayi but neither I nor my girlfriend had anything to do with that.

lmunsie thanks so much for you help there, I will give that a shot and see if it works, it's worrying me because now Cate (tabby) is hissing at me occasionally out of nowhere, and my girlfriend has told me she has heard Cate hiss once before in the 6 years she has had her and that was when she stepped on her tail accidently (yet two seconds after she hissed at me I picked up the laser pointer and she was going as crazy as ever about it as if nothing had happened...?)

Maybe I just give off bad cat karma? I don't get it.

my cat came from the shelter at 7 also declawed so I understand the frustration. In anycase let us know how things go, and if the toys work...... You might just have to try to let the cats be, which is too bad since you seem to genuinely like them!!!

FOr sure start leaving shirts you wore in places they like to sleep, the interactive play would be good followed by treats, only pat them if they approach you. They are probably use to just having one person and have to adjust to sharing mommy and having a new person in their space......

At our local shelter, there are almost always 1 or 2 declawed cats. The good news is that they don't usually last too long, because people are always looking for cats that they can have in a rental home or apartment.

Oh my gosh I can't believe I never thought of this!!

You MUST get a feliway diffuser (just google it) it releases phermones that completely calm down cats!! I bet this will help TONS!

Also try getting bach rescue remedy at a health store and you can put a drop in their water, again very calming!!

Goodluck!

I am not sure this will work but sometimes when we try too hard, the animal will have the opposite reaction we want. Have you ever seen how cats will head toward the visitor who doesn't like cats?

Maybe, when you aren't playing interactively with them, you could try ignoring them for a few days. Only stroking them when they come to you asking for it. My cat, Seb, is easily overstimulated. He wants to be near me but he just cannot handle too much petting. So, we cuddle a lot.

The sweaty tshirt is a good idea, too. We may think it stinks to high heaven but to animals, it is our scent. Feeding them on your shirt will help them realize your scent is a safe one.

Oh and not sure if you do this, but do not stare directly into their eyes for any amount of time. Direct eye contact is an aggressive thing to cats. If you look directly at them, blink slowly. That sends the signal you are relaxed and not aggressive.

I am sure people who know more will be along to offer advise. I just want to send you some kudos for trying There needs to be a lot more people like you in this world.

Let us know how things go!

Originally Posted by lmunsie

Oh my gosh I can't believe I never thought of this!!

You MUST get a feliway diffuser (just google it) it releases phermones that completely calm down cats!! I bet this will help TONS!

Also try getting bach rescue remedy at a health store and you can put a drop in their water, again very calming!!

Goodluck!

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Oops, I forgot these, too! Feliway is spendy and usually cheaper to buy online than at neighborhood shops. I have yet to try any of the rescue remedies but want to.

Here's a link to one site I have heard others here recommend:
http://www.catfaeries.com/essences_about.html
they sell both.